A Long Road To Home (1)
TITLE: A Long Road To Home
RATING: Swearing...quite a bit.
DESCRIPTION: Sophie and Sian have never met. Sophie decides she's had enough of everyone and her life and she leaves to start off new somewhere else.
"Sophie, love, I'm sorry but you're going wether you like it or not." My mum told me, shaking her head, putting her earrings in, disapointed in me already. Well, fuck her. Fuck the lot of them.
"Do you know what you can do with you're stupid councelling, mum? You can shove it up your arse!" I hiss, keeping my anger in like I always did. Habbit now, don't think I could possibly expload into a fit of rage no matter how much I ached to. They'd done this to me. Every fucking one of them had driven me to what I am. And Nicole? Well, she could go and fucking die for all the shit I gave about her now. Cheating on me and then having the cheek to dump me...Fuck her an' all. I slammed my fist against the kitchen table, that was the only way my anger came out, and I stood up letting the chair fall behind me. I pushed past my mum and stormed upstairs wanting to smash the whole place up.
"Sophie Lauren Webster!" She roared after me. I ran into my room and slammed the door shut, making the entire wall shake.
"Fuck off!" I mumbled flopping down face first onto my bed. I wish the whole world would just fuck off and leave me alone. I didn't need anyone. Not anymore.
I didn't need anyone...I was 17. I could leave here. Leave like I'd been wishing I could for years. I could get out of here, leave this whole fucked up life behind me. Who'd miss me, eh? Not a single one of them.
I jumped up and marched over to my wardrobe, pulling out a large duffel bag. I threw it onto the bed and then started ripping clothes from coathangers and chucking them in the same direction. Finally, I had the guts to go.
Half an hour later, I stood in the middle of my room, coat on and bag on my back. I looked around making sure I hadn't left anything I wanted. Mostly everything was still here. Only my clothes and some other little bits and pieces were packed. I had £386. It wasn't much but it'd get me somewhere. Anywhere away from here. I shoved my moblie phone and ipod into the side of my bag, scowled at the room I'd been living in for years and then turned to the door.
"Where on earth do you think you're going?" My mum demanded when I came down the stairs.
"I'm leaving." I told her simply watching as her mouth dropped opened. I felt nothing for her anymore...no hate, no love, no sympathy, no nothing.
"You are not, young lady! You get back up them stairs right now and you stay in your room until I call you down for your session." She shook her head trying to shoo me away up the stairs like I was a dog.
"Bye." I shrugged turning away.
"I'm telling you right now, Sophie! You walk out that door, don't you bother coming back! You go to your dad's if you leave. Don't dare think you can step foot inside this house if you open that door!" She shouted walking after me as I headed to the door.
I opened it.
"Sophie!" She yelled, trying to push past me.
"What?"
"I know you blame me for everything that's happened with Rosie and your dad but this is all that Nicole girls fault!" She started, and I'm assuming she was only trying to anger me because she'd never have said her name otherwise. "You thought you were gay and you're embaressed because you realized you weren't when she..."
"Don't fucking start with your rubbish, okay? I'm gay, mum! I. AM. GAY. Just because she fucked off doesn't mean I'm not anymore! It's not something I can just switch off!" I hiss at her marching out onto the street.
"Well maybe you should try to! It's been nothing but a hassel with you and this gay business!" She shouts back, apparently not caring that there are people outside the shop and pub and people walking along the street.
"Fuck off! If anyone's to blame for this shitty mess, it's you! You ruined everything! You hated Nicole and you pushed her away from me! You can't help it, can you?" I shrug turning my back on her, not wanting to look at her for a second longer.
"Don't you dare come back here, you spoiled, ungratedful..." She started shouting but stopped when I turned the corner. Or at least I stopped hearing her.
Yeah, bye mum. I had no one to say goodbye to, no friends. I wasn't gonna say goodbye to my dad because unlike me feeling nothing for my mum, I hated him. I hated every little bit of him. He tried to take our home away from us to provide for the baby he made when he had an affair. Didn't give a shit about me and Rosie. He just left, taking all our money. Everything. Dragged us through court about the house and thank God me mum won cause we'd be homeless otherwise. And Rosie? I loved her to bits. She was there for me constantly when I needed her. Always reassuring me and looking after me. It'd break my heart saying goodbye to her and I didn't want to stress her out with her being pregnant an' all...God, a little niece or nephew I'd never meet. I honestly didn't intend to return to this dark street.
I slumped down on the bench at the bus stop, letting the heavy weight of the bag drop from my shoulder. All other weights had been lifted from me. I felt free now. I could be anything... I could be me. I waited, watching people pass, old neighbours I never really cared for. I never realized how nothing actually meant anything to me. I didn't belong here somehow, I didn't belong on this street or with these people. I lived here, yeah, but it was never my home. Something, probrably a lot of things actually, were missing.
And I'll admit it, my head is completly fucked now with all this mess. I don't feel like me, I'm not happy with anything. These people and this place made me hate who I was, made me ashamed. I felt like an animal, a freak who had to stay hidden. Not anymore...Not anymore.
The bus came and I went. Not a single look back. This was it the start of what should have already been. I felt like me again the second the bus turned and left the street. I was going to find my home.
thanks for reading :)
RATING: Swearing...quite a bit.
DESCRIPTION: Sophie and Sian have never met. Sophie decides she's had enough of everyone and her life and she leaves to start off new somewhere else.
"Sophie, love, I'm sorry but you're going wether you like it or not." My mum told me, shaking her head, putting her earrings in, disapointed in me already. Well, fuck her. Fuck the lot of them.
"Do you know what you can do with you're stupid councelling, mum? You can shove it up your arse!" I hiss, keeping my anger in like I always did. Habbit now, don't think I could possibly expload into a fit of rage no matter how much I ached to. They'd done this to me. Every fucking one of them had driven me to what I am. And Nicole? Well, she could go and fucking die for all the shit I gave about her now. Cheating on me and then having the cheek to dump me...Fuck her an' all. I slammed my fist against the kitchen table, that was the only way my anger came out, and I stood up letting the chair fall behind me. I pushed past my mum and stormed upstairs wanting to smash the whole place up.
"Sophie Lauren Webster!" She roared after me. I ran into my room and slammed the door shut, making the entire wall shake.
"Fuck off!" I mumbled flopping down face first onto my bed. I wish the whole world would just fuck off and leave me alone. I didn't need anyone. Not anymore.
I didn't need anyone...I was 17. I could leave here. Leave like I'd been wishing I could for years. I could get out of here, leave this whole fucked up life behind me. Who'd miss me, eh? Not a single one of them.
I jumped up and marched over to my wardrobe, pulling out a large duffel bag. I threw it onto the bed and then started ripping clothes from coathangers and chucking them in the same direction. Finally, I had the guts to go.
Half an hour later, I stood in the middle of my room, coat on and bag on my back. I looked around making sure I hadn't left anything I wanted. Mostly everything was still here. Only my clothes and some other little bits and pieces were packed. I had £386. It wasn't much but it'd get me somewhere. Anywhere away from here. I shoved my moblie phone and ipod into the side of my bag, scowled at the room I'd been living in for years and then turned to the door.
"Where on earth do you think you're going?" My mum demanded when I came down the stairs.
"I'm leaving." I told her simply watching as her mouth dropped opened. I felt nothing for her anymore...no hate, no love, no sympathy, no nothing.
"You are not, young lady! You get back up them stairs right now and you stay in your room until I call you down for your session." She shook her head trying to shoo me away up the stairs like I was a dog.
"Bye." I shrugged turning away.
"I'm telling you right now, Sophie! You walk out that door, don't you bother coming back! You go to your dad's if you leave. Don't dare think you can step foot inside this house if you open that door!" She shouted walking after me as I headed to the door.
I opened it.
"Sophie!" She yelled, trying to push past me.
"What?"
"I know you blame me for everything that's happened with Rosie and your dad but this is all that Nicole girls fault!" She started, and I'm assuming she was only trying to anger me because she'd never have said her name otherwise. "You thought you were gay and you're embaressed because you realized you weren't when she..."
"Don't fucking start with your rubbish, okay? I'm gay, mum! I. AM. GAY. Just because she fucked off doesn't mean I'm not anymore! It's not something I can just switch off!" I hiss at her marching out onto the street.
"Well maybe you should try to! It's been nothing but a hassel with you and this gay business!" She shouts back, apparently not caring that there are people outside the shop and pub and people walking along the street.
"Fuck off! If anyone's to blame for this shitty mess, it's you! You ruined everything! You hated Nicole and you pushed her away from me! You can't help it, can you?" I shrug turning my back on her, not wanting to look at her for a second longer.
"Don't you dare come back here, you spoiled, ungratedful..." She started shouting but stopped when I turned the corner. Or at least I stopped hearing her.
Yeah, bye mum. I had no one to say goodbye to, no friends. I wasn't gonna say goodbye to my dad because unlike me feeling nothing for my mum, I hated him. I hated every little bit of him. He tried to take our home away from us to provide for the baby he made when he had an affair. Didn't give a shit about me and Rosie. He just left, taking all our money. Everything. Dragged us through court about the house and thank God me mum won cause we'd be homeless otherwise. And Rosie? I loved her to bits. She was there for me constantly when I needed her. Always reassuring me and looking after me. It'd break my heart saying goodbye to her and I didn't want to stress her out with her being pregnant an' all...God, a little niece or nephew I'd never meet. I honestly didn't intend to return to this dark street.
I slumped down on the bench at the bus stop, letting the heavy weight of the bag drop from my shoulder. All other weights had been lifted from me. I felt free now. I could be anything... I could be me. I waited, watching people pass, old neighbours I never really cared for. I never realized how nothing actually meant anything to me. I didn't belong here somehow, I didn't belong on this street or with these people. I lived here, yeah, but it was never my home. Something, probrably a lot of things actually, were missing.
And I'll admit it, my head is completly fucked now with all this mess. I don't feel like me, I'm not happy with anything. These people and this place made me hate who I was, made me ashamed. I felt like an animal, a freak who had to stay hidden. Not anymore...Not anymore.
The bus came and I went. Not a single look back. This was it the start of what should have already been. I felt like me again the second the bus turned and left the street. I was going to find my home.
thanks for reading :)