Merry Ho Ho
Christmas will never be this sad again. Next year, I will make sure I am in the Christmas spirit!! I felt too sorry for myself this year...blamed my attitude on the pain in my back, the recent breast lumps I found, I'm broke and the fact that this is the first Christmas without both of my folks. I also was whiney about the fact that my best friend is a 3 1/2 hour flight from me and the woman that I love I left in Florida.
None of this was a valid excuse, I later realized, for bein such a Christmas bah-humbug! (My folks would both be kickin my ass and tellin me to suck it up and get thru it by makin someone else's holiday worthwhile.)
Don't get me wrong...I wasn't a total ass about Christmas. I was pleasant and jolly and cheerful...I just boycotted the gift buying. I even sent out Christmas cards...well, some.
But I have made a vow...next year, I will be giving all that I can and making the holiday season an amazing time for a few needy folks. I'm hoping to make it a group effort and I know that I'll be dragging my best friend, Jules, into it too... (don't act shocked, Jules...I warned you!) My goal is to help someone who isn't able to make the type of holiday they want/deserve on their own happen. Whether that is a single mom who has to choose between food and presents or an elderly person who is choosing between feeding their animals or themselves. I hope to make their season brighter by removing the need for those types of choices.
I spent the entire weekend holed up in this house with my brother laughing and having a good time just being us. There was no mention of Christmas as it saddened us both this year. Today, we spent 3 hours going thru 30 (yeah, I said THIRTY) boxes of slides that our father had collected over the years. There were boxes upon boxes of nothin but airplane pictures (Papasan was an aircraft mechanic in the Air Force in Vietnam and also an avid private pilot) and a couple of boxes of drag racing pics (Papasan was the pit crew chief on a couple of drag car crews before we moved overseas). While it was interesting to see all those pics and get that glimpse into his life before us kids, we were lost cuz we'd never sat down with him while he was alive and asked "who are these people?" "why are these planes significant to you?" We were only able to go "holy crap...MORE PLANES???" and shake our heads after awhile.
It was fun seein the pics of me and Kyle when we were little tho. I was a cute little thing with blonde hair and green eyes. Kyle was pretty cute too...but we won't tell him that.
The best pictures, I think, were the 3 that came towards the end...1) I was about 2 yrs old and have a mullet (EEEK!!); 2) Mom in a see thru outfit (*covering eyes*); and 3) Papasan in a dress (wtf??)
There were some great pictures of family members who'd passed away before Kyle was old enough to remember them. He was astounded at how handsome our great grandparents on Papasan's side were and how freakin tall they were. (I'm 5'6" and Kyle is 5'10"...our grandfather and great granfather were over 6') And it was fun seein our folks as teenagers and newly weds...back in the day, so to speak...before Papasan remarried 5 times and Mom remarried 3 times...before the barrage of stepsiblings and step-parents.
So...I'm done ranting now....Hope y'all had a WONDERFUL holiday and I promise to be more receptive next year :D