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I am turning this in to my Creative Writing class and it needs to be a page longer (it is three and needs to be four). I'm terrible a dialogue. Never mind these plays we are doing. any suggustions would be greatly appriciated. thanks!
(Mike sits on a couch flipping through channels. Appears to be in early thirties. His cell phone rings and he fumbles in his pockets and sees “Joe’s cell”.)
MIKE: Yo, what’s up Joe!
JOE: (whispers.) I don’t know what to do.
MIKE: What? What’s up? I can’t hear you.
JOE: (his voice shakes, but he speaks louder) I don’t know what to do.
MIKE: (Shuts off TV. Looks worried.) What’s going on? You sound weird. Is everything all right?
JOE: She’s gone.
MIKE: Who’s gone? Wendy?
JOE: No.
MIKE: Who? Talk to me, man.
JOE: Daisy. It’s Daisy.
MIKE: What? Damnit Joe, I thought you stopped fooling around with her! (Joe doesn’t respond.) Well, if she dumped you, good! You know Wendy deserves better. Just let it go and forget about it. Go back to Wendy, and if somehow you avoid Karma she’ll never have to know.
JOE: She didn’t dump me.
MIKE: Then, what the hell are you talking about?
JOE: We were…she….Oh, god. I’m in trouble.
MIKE: Where are you? Are you drunk?
JOE: No. (Pauses.) I’m at her house. (Whimpers)
MIKE: You’re at her house? Shit, Joe. When is Wendy coming home?
JOE: Tonight.
MIKE: Go home. Wait, no, your drunk. I’ll come get you. Where does she live?
JOE: I can’t go. Not when she is like this. Mike, I think she’s dead.
MIKE: What! Daisy?
JOE: Yea.
MIKE: What happened?
JOE: I just stopped by to tell her it was over. I really did. Mike, I didn’t mean to do it. Mike…
MIKE: You didn’t mean to do what?
JOE: (Joe begin to sob.) I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call. I killed her Mike. I killed her.
MIKE: You what? What the hell is going on Joe?
JOE: I hit her, Mike. I got so scared. She said she was going tell Wendy. I told her it was over and she said she was going tell Wendy and I hit her. I didn’t mean to do it. You know that. I never hit a woman in my life. You know that. Oh, god. Please. Oh god. What do I do…
MIKE: Calm down. Hold on. (Pauses letting the information soak in.) Are you sure she’s dead?
JOE: There’s blood everywhere. I think she hit her head on something. Mike, I can’t go to jail. I can’t. It’ll kill Wendy. The kids can’t know about this. I got to do something. I got to do something.
MIKE: Does anyone know you’re there? Anyone at all?
JOE: No. No one besides you.
MIKE: Are you sure? Might she have told anyone?
JOE: No. She didn’t know I was coming by.
MIKE: Any of her neighbors see you?
JOE: She doesn’t have any. She lives in The Winston Hills. Everyone’s is so far away. I can’t believe this is happening. (Starts to cry again.)
MIKE: At least that’s good. I need you to calm down. How long have you been there?
JOE: I don’t know. I don’t know. There’s blood everywhere.
MIKE: I need you to think, Joe!
JOE: Maybe ten or twenty minutes. It all happened so fast.
MIKE: Your fingerprints. Think about that. Where would they be?
JOE: Everywhere. I’ve been here a thousand times.
MIKE: Alright, that normal. She has you stop by for work a lot doesn’t she?
JOE: Sometimes.
MIKE: Alright we’ll figure you the details later. Who opened the door you or her?
JOE: I don’t know. What does it matter?
MIKE: The police will check for finger prints.
JOE: The police?
MIKE: Yes the police. They tend to check things when someone is found murdered. Did you leave anything there?
JOE: Murder? I’m not a murderer. It was an accident. I didn’t want her dead! Oh sweet Daisy!
MIKE: Joe, this is important. Did you leave anything there?
JOE: No. We were always so careful. (softly) We…
MIKE: Alright, You need to get out of the house. Don’t touch anything. When you leave don’t touch the door handle. Use your sleeves to open it. And be quiet!
JOE: Okay. Okay. (Mike hears a door open and close. He hears Joe get into his car)
MIKE: Joe, you need to calm down right now. Drive to my house. I’ll tell Wendy I got you too smashed to drive home last night. Just drive straight here. Okay Joe? (Pause.)Okay?
JOE: Yea. Okay. (starts car.) Thank you Joe.
MIKE: Just get over here. Don’t speed. You cant afford to get pulled over.
JOE: Okay. I’m coming.
(Mike sits on a couch flipping through channels. Appears to be in early thirties. His cell phone rings and he fumbles in his pockets and sees “Joe’s cell”.)
MIKE: Yo, what’s up Joe!
JOE: (whispers.) I don’t know what to do.
MIKE: What? What’s up? I can’t hear you.
JOE: (his voice shakes, but he speaks louder) I don’t know what to do.
MIKE: (Shuts off TV. Looks worried.) What’s going on? You sound weird. Is everything all right?
JOE: She’s gone.
MIKE: Who’s gone? Wendy?
JOE: No.
MIKE: Who? Talk to me, man.
JOE: Daisy. It’s Daisy.
MIKE: What? Damnit Joe, I thought you stopped fooling around with her! (Joe doesn’t respond.) Well, if she dumped you, good! You know Wendy deserves better. Just let it go and forget about it. Go back to Wendy, and if somehow you avoid Karma she’ll never have to know.
JOE: She didn’t dump me.
MIKE: Then, what the hell are you talking about?
JOE: We were…she….Oh, god. I’m in trouble.
MIKE: Where are you? Are you drunk?
JOE: No. (Pauses.) I’m at her house. (Whimpers)
MIKE: You’re at her house? Shit, Joe. When is Wendy coming home?
JOE: Tonight.
MIKE: Go home. Wait, no, your drunk. I’ll come get you. Where does she live?
JOE: I can’t go. Not when she is like this. Mike, I think she’s dead.
MIKE: What! Daisy?
JOE: Yea.
MIKE: What happened?
JOE: I just stopped by to tell her it was over. I really did. Mike, I didn’t mean to do it. Mike…
MIKE: You didn’t mean to do what?
JOE: (Joe begin to sob.) I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call. I killed her Mike. I killed her.
MIKE: You what? What the hell is going on Joe?
JOE: I hit her, Mike. I got so scared. She said she was going tell Wendy. I told her it was over and she said she was going tell Wendy and I hit her. I didn’t mean to do it. You know that. I never hit a woman in my life. You know that. Oh, god. Please. Oh god. What do I do…
MIKE: Calm down. Hold on. (Pauses letting the information soak in.) Are you sure she’s dead?
JOE: There’s blood everywhere. I think she hit her head on something. Mike, I can’t go to jail. I can’t. It’ll kill Wendy. The kids can’t know about this. I got to do something. I got to do something.
MIKE: Does anyone know you’re there? Anyone at all?
JOE: No. No one besides you.
MIKE: Are you sure? Might she have told anyone?
JOE: No. She didn’t know I was coming by.
MIKE: Any of her neighbors see you?
JOE: She doesn’t have any. She lives in The Winston Hills. Everyone’s is so far away. I can’t believe this is happening. (Starts to cry again.)
MIKE: At least that’s good. I need you to calm down. How long have you been there?
JOE: I don’t know. I don’t know. There’s blood everywhere.
MIKE: I need you to think, Joe!
JOE: Maybe ten or twenty minutes. It all happened so fast.
MIKE: Your fingerprints. Think about that. Where would they be?
JOE: Everywhere. I’ve been here a thousand times.
MIKE: Alright, that normal. She has you stop by for work a lot doesn’t she?
JOE: Sometimes.
MIKE: Alright we’ll figure you the details later. Who opened the door you or her?
JOE: I don’t know. What does it matter?
MIKE: The police will check for finger prints.
JOE: The police?
MIKE: Yes the police. They tend to check things when someone is found murdered. Did you leave anything there?
JOE: Murder? I’m not a murderer. It was an accident. I didn’t want her dead! Oh sweet Daisy!
MIKE: Joe, this is important. Did you leave anything there?
JOE: No. We were always so careful. (softly) We…
MIKE: Alright, You need to get out of the house. Don’t touch anything. When you leave don’t touch the door handle. Use your sleeves to open it. And be quiet!
JOE: Okay. Okay. (Mike hears a door open and close. He hears Joe get into his car)
MIKE: Joe, you need to calm down right now. Drive to my house. I’ll tell Wendy I got you too smashed to drive home last night. Just drive straight here. Okay Joe? (Pause.)Okay?
JOE: Yea. Okay. (starts car.) Thank you Joe.
MIKE: Just get over here. Don’t speed. You cant afford to get pulled over.
JOE: Okay. I’m coming.