i long to spread my wings and fly into the light

[inksmears]

leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back

Comments

[anonymous]

At first, I almost caught myself scoffing at this. Because 'someone who actually listens to my problems? pfffff impossible' and the like. But... eh what the hell.

I'm quite similar to the anon above me. I have been through that situation. And no one helped me. It only took me five years before I went after him with a knife. He lived. He got away with it. And he died with no one knowing that he did. In fact, he went by suicide, so everyone felt bad for him. Everyone thinks I'm a nice person at heart, but in truth, EVERYTHING that man has done to me has ruined my outlook on the world. I hate everything. I know hate is a strong word, but I mean it in its deepest roots. I hate. Everything. Everyone. And every time I see someone smile and say hello to me and ask me how my childhood was or oh are you coming over for thanksgiving you're quite a rude girl ignoring how much your family cares about you and if you ever really cared you would have never left me there!I'm 21, a child's age compared to others but enough nightmares to drown all of

[inksmears]

I can't say anything to you. Words are just words. My own life has not been rainbow and sunshines either but I am luckier than most. I'm here to listen. I know I've sort of preached up above but that's just my response to things. To try and offer help, take it or leave it

[anonymous]

I almost wonder if you could guess who I am without the anon mask. Just know that it's that blissful optimism that always makes me befriend people like you.

I miss having hope. :(

[inksmears]

Ahh.... maybe?? m-maybe not, i'm no good with that, haha. i wish i could give you all of my optimism but. unrealistic, etc. etc.

I hope you can find it again someday, somehow.

[anonymous]

I know that when you post something like this, it's not because you're just mimicking a meme or whatever... but that you really want to listen and help people, and I think people don't know or don't realize how genuine you are.

Reading what people have posted... these impossible scenarios and people who can't or won't help themselves... I feel like they don't really understand what they're putting onto you, because you're not the type of person who'll just brush it off at the end of the night. The ones who turn around and berate your outlook, that they ask for your help and then throw it back at you... I'm so angry, I just want to slap them.

[anonymous]

Fuck you. No really, fuck you, and fuck the high horse you rode in on, and most of al, fuck your tiny, close-minded perspective her.. You don't know what these people have gone through, you don't know where they've been or how long they've been fighting. People like you are what's part of the problem.

[inksmears]

Ah, it's all more complicated than that, I think. The issues and the problems, that is.

I do appreciate the understanding you have from my end. Thank you for that. But I'm freezing all of this anyway. I don't want this to turn ugly. (uglier, maybe.)

[anonymous]

God this seems trite in comparison but.

I really wish I talked to you more. And roleplayed with you more. I talked to you maybe once in an AIM chat room but I worry about AIMing you in case you think I'm annoying since we haven't really spoke much. :(

[inksmears]

Hahaha no no don't say that! I welcome all things. Heavy or light.

Awww, I would love to talk to you or RP with you more! For serious!! I'm always happy to form and make new connections or strengthen old ones. And never fear IMing me! When I'm on AIM I'm there for chatting with anyone and everyone. I stay off it otherwise.

IM away, anon! Honestly! I won't think you're annoying. And the best way to start speaking to each other is taking that step, right?? ♥

[anonymous]

kajsfkla This also seems silly in comparison to everything else, but--

I miss my best friend. I haven't talked to her in ages and it's gone on for so long now I'm not sure if it's really just me or partly her fault too. I never see her online anymore and I try to say that she's just busy, but whenever I reply or comment on her journal or something, I barely get a response. I just--I don't know, I feel like I barely know her anymore. It's dumb and petty of me to get jealous of a mutual friend talks to her more than I do but I just can't help it. She's got all these new hobbies and interests that I don't even understand because she hasn't talked to me.

AHHHH okay I sound petty and whiny that's enough of my blabber for one day. ;;

[inksmears]

Noooo you don't sound petty or whiny! You just sound hurt and confused. I totally understand this. It's a sad truth that people change. I've lost many a friend to their change. But I think if it's a true friendship than even drastic change will make it last.

Maybe confront her about it? Be truthful about how you're feeling about her treatment of you lately! Easier said than done, I know. But maybe she doesn't even realize she's coming off that way?

[anonymous]

What's really sad is that something like this happened before but I cleared that up within a few months rather than... a year-and-a-half now. Confronting her is difficult and awkward but it would probably be a good idea to do that. If she ever got on AIM I mean.

OKAY FUNNY STORY TO CLEAR THE EMO my friend was doing tarot card readings one day about relationships so I asked about this best friend of mine and he said that on her part she didn't notice any change/difference/felt like everything was the same as always. Which is really likely laksjdlaksjd.

[inksmears]

Haha, well it can't hurt to try then, right? Hmmm. Can you PM her on LJ? (Assuming she is on LJ.) Be all, "Hey, when you have a moment, hop on AIM? I'd really like to talk to you."

aksdjhgal hahaha well then. Maybe all you need to do is bring it to her attention after all!

[anonymous]

this is something that I've been thinking about for a long while now, but haven't had the courage to ever say. I've hardly been able to say it to myself, really, but here goes, because I want to test how it feels to say this.

there is a huge part of me that wishes I were the opposite gender. I get confused, though, because outwardly I don't come off as "inappropriate" for the gender I am now, so I end up thinking myself in circles. Am I thinking this simply because I'm unhappy and not because that's how I actually feel? But then again, who wants that (that being actually gender queer) to be the answer unless it is? It does feel like a relief when I think about it, and I've spent more than one daydream over the many years imagining myself in the opposite gender role. There've been many nights when I, rather than count sheep to put me to sleep, will play pretend in my head of what would happen if I just *poof* woke up the next morning as the opposite sex, almost like a wish on a star

[inksmears]

alshdalg ack i sort of missed this, sorry anon!! :(

Ah, I can't even start to imagine how this must feel. I have always been a believer in doing what makes you the happiest, though. Perhaps the best help you can find in sorting this out would be a support group for people who have gone through the very same thing? I'm sure those exist and could probably offer you the best support and advice, like how to tell for sure this is the path you want to take or how to tell your family.

But if you want to talk to me about it I am definitely always here to listen. Always, always. ♥ But if you don't want to and would rather be really anonymous I would recommend some kind of support group. If anything it might help you figure it all out.

But yes, I'm here for you if you need that too. I really wish you luck in everything and anything you chose to do. If nothing else know I'll still support you and be your friend no matter what. ♥

[anonymous]

it's all right, you've been busy this weekend, I imagine ♥

that's a good idea, I hadn't really thought of that before. I mean, I think I've tossed the idea around once or twice, but I think I needed to really say it to someone without bias first, to make the thought real. it feels a lot better already just having said this all anonymously, I think maybe I could start seriously thinking about finding a group to help me sort it out better.

thank you for listening, and being here for me. I knew you would be, hearing you say it helps a lot and goes a long way ♥ I feel that I could be comfortable talking about it with you more.

[inksmears]

INDEED. /sobsob This week was killer.

Oh, yes! I can understand that sentiment. Putting it into actual words and letting someone know makes real all right. And I'm glad you'll be thinking about looking into a support group!! I'm sure they can help you tremendously. Since I'm sure you're not alone in your conflicted feelings. ♥

ANYTIME and I'm really glad I could be here to listen and help you a little. That makes me very happy. ♥ Also glad you'd feel comfortable talking to me about it!! Well I'm always here to be your confidant! I promise. :)