[SPN] feel the freedom like no tomorrow (5/7)

[tasogareika]

← three: mendacious and delusive streets ←

Four: The living and the dead are watching you.

If Jimmy had to be completely honest with himself, there were many reasons why he had said ‘yes’ for the first time to Castiel back then during all those years ago in front of his house in Pontiac. From a young age, Jimmy had always found himself fascinated by the skies and of dreams of flying; in his childhood days he would lay down on the on the grass to squint up in the sky and spend hours imagining himself amongst the clouds. He could recall his dream of being a pilot, although that desire has long since been washed out by the harshness of reality. But still, the desire to be up in the sky had really never faded-even though Jimmy could never truly indulge himself in that fantasy as Amelia and Claire and everything else took up all of his time.

To be honest, there was nothing much about his life that Jimmy could complain about-he had his wife and kid and the white picket fence dream that many people liked, and things were good enough for him. But there had been the quiet, never-changing, childish part of himself that longed for the freedom of the skies, of what the might of an angel’s wings might grant unto him. Up until that moment he had been nothing but a thirty-or-so year old guy with a family and a job selling ad time on the radio; as much as he did want to tell himself otherwise, Jimmy knew that a part of him wasn’t ever truly happy with what he had. He did want more at times, something to make his life more complete, more whole, more meaningful. Perhaps, in a way, that’s why he had come to believe Castiel so quickly after the first few times-even as out-of-the world as it sounded to him then, Jimmy wanted to believe. He wanted to believe that he did have meaning he so desired.

But in the end, Jimmy would only find his dreams and his hopes crushed, smashed and then scattered into the winds. From the angels to the corrupt hierarchy of heaven to the battles and then the end of the world-there could only be so much that Jimmy could take, and by the time Castiel got dragged to Heaven and the Winchesters found him amongst the rubble of the wrecked warehouse, Jimmy’s patience had long since run dry. For nearly a year he did nothing but suffer under Heaven and under the angels, and with Castiel disappearing he was done with it all. Everything he’d once believed had already long since been destroyed; all Jimmy desired was to return home and be with family.

A family that’s now lost to him. A family that he’ll never get to see again.

Jimmy opens his eyes to blink at the darkness that greets him, eyes slowly adjusting to the shifting light as the last few embers of the fire before him die out in flickers. Beside him he hears the sound of Dean’s snoring, the hunter worn out and tired after having spent the rest of the day holding on for dear life as Korialstrasz brought them to their destination. Turns out the man really had one heck of a phobia for flying, although Jimmy had been nice enough not to tease him too much about it. Korialstrasz, though, had been a different story, and by the time they finally did land Dean had been shaking and pale and pretty set to keel over at any given moment. Thus, their current stopover.

The coldness rushes forward the moment the fires properly die out, and Jimmy shudders, huddling deeper into the coat which now wraps around his body. It’s honestly a bit hard to remember that they’re still technically in Castiel now, especially after having seen all the strange sights that passed by them earlier during the flight on the dragon’s back. Jimmy recalls seeing the grand cliffs and the roar of the wind in his ears, the wind biting into his skin as Korialstrasz brought them over the blazing red fields that burned at the ground beneath them.

The fires of Purgatory, the dragon had informed them as they flew past. Made so nobody would dare to intrude upon the ground where the Leviathans reside.

The fires had been vast and wide and deadly in their beauty; even from above Jimmy could see how the unnatural flames curled and blazed, going on forever and for all of eternity. It had taken them about the entire duration of the flight to properly cross over them, and even from where he sits now Jimmy can still see the flames from a far distance, the fires still burning without pause as they cast an orange glow into the stretch of sky above them.

Jimmy turns his head back as he feels a shift behind him, and the human raises his head just in time as Korialstrasz twists his serpentine neck around in order to meet Jimmy’s gaze head on, blue eyes meeting red. Neither of them blink for a minute.

Eventually the dragon gives in and lowers its head, speaking. You wish to say something. Speak.

“...How probable is it that we can succeed?” Jimmy asks, worrying his lower lip as he says so. For all that Gabriel had said to assure him, Jimmy wants to know the absolute truth; for too long he has been played around by Heaven’s half-truths and lies. While Castiel is his friend and Jimmy does want to save him, at the same time he also requires the real truth. He can’t truly proceed otherwise.

Korialstrasz closes its eyes then, slightly shifting its head away; Jimmy can feel a twitch jumping from the giant tail at his side before the dragon answers the question. I cannot say, it starts, a soft snort escaping through its nostrils. Nothing like this has ever happened before.

Jimmy takes a moment to breathe out loudly. “Just give an estimation, if nothing else.” He needs to know. He has to know.

The dragon turns its head back to glance at Jimmy, one red eye staring at him for a moment before it flickers to gaze at the lake that glitters strangely even in the darkness. The Leviathans are the first beast, created before angel and men, Korialstrasz says, voice soft and quiet. They are the first of the firsts, while you are but a single man. The dragon pauses for a moment and darts a glance at the still-sleeping Dean before adding on mirthlessly. Two, when you count him. There is no chance that two men-even touched with an angel’s Grace-can ever be stronger than that of the first beasts.

Just as he suspects, then. Jimmy pushes down the lump in his throat, forcing himself to ask the next question. “So getting Castiel out is impossible, then?”

Korialstrasz shakes its head in response. Of that question, no. It is not wholly impossible. But the Leviathans hold on him will be strong; the angel is the foundation of this reality, and to remove him will be to destroy the cornerstone that holds this place together. The dragon stops again, almost thoughtful when it goes on with the next bit. Should that happen, I suppose chaos would reign.

“So Castiel would be with the Leviathans then, wherever they are,” Jimmy murmurs, more to himself than to Korialstrasz, but the dragon nods an affirmative regardless, tail twitching once more.

The silence that comes after that statement is pronounced and heavy; full of intent and purpose, and Jimmy cannot find himself falling asleep as millions of things flash in his mind. Memories of his time with Castiel, of his resurrection in this changed world, of everything that has happened to him. It’s hard to believe how much his world has changed from a few years ago, and even more so at how much he takes everything in so quickly these days. Maybe it’s an effect of being Castiel’s vessel for so long, or something else. Jimmy doesn’t really wish to know.

Eventually Korialstrasz is the one who breaks the silence, tail swishing just enough to get Jimmy’s attention and pull him back out from his thoughts. The human glances back to meet the dragon’s gaze, blinking at the curious tilt of the head that’s currently being given to him. “What is it?”

I wish to know, the dragon starts, looking from Jimmy to Dean and then back to him. What is your connection to the angel? Both of you have been touched by him, but what drives you to come all the way here to help him?

It’s a loaded question and Jimmy knows it, but somehow the thought of that doesn’t scare him as much as he thinks it should. After all, he already has his reason since the start, and no matter what that reason isn’t going to change. “Castiel is my friend,” he replies, and there’s nothing but honesty in his answer because it’s true. Castiel, the angel who had taken over his body and made him watch all the things that Castiel had done in that year with him-Castiel, the nameless soldier of Heaven who did what no other angel ever could; Castiel, the angel who learned how to truly believe. For all the things he had done and the wrongs he had committed, Jimmy still would not give him up-he couldn’t give up on the angel, not after everything they had been through once upon a time.

This much he could do at least, in order to repay the last wishes he had asked from the angel.

Korialstrasz takes a moment to look at Jimmy solemnly before it nods, and then proceeds to jerk its head towards the sleeping figure of Dean Winchester. And what of the hunter? What drives him?

Jimmy follows the dragon’s gaze to look at Dean as well and now trying to just look at him, to see what it is that Castiel could find so trustworthy of him. Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man-the one who started the chain reaction to the near-Apocalypse; to be honest there’s absolutely nothing about Dean Winchester that Jimmy can see as ‘righteous’. For all he knew about Dean Winchester during his time with Castiel he’s probably the last person who’d be the textbook example of righteous. But still, despite all of that, this is the human Castiel had chose over all of Heaven and over everything else had had once known. That this is the human that Castiel, despite all odds, had grown to love.

And perhaps, Dean may just love him back too. Jimmy hopes that’s the case, anyway.

Jimmy turns back towards Korialstrasz, looking at the dragon’s questioning red eyes for a moment before the corners of his lips curl up into a smile and the man answers the question. “They have a profound bond, that’s why.”



He’s back at the corridor this time around, standing in the space between light and shadow as moonlight streams in dimly into the place, lighting it up just enough for him to make out that there’s a figure at the end of the corridor where he’s currently facing. Curiosity overtaking him, Jimmy starts to make his way towards that strange person standing inside the shadows, but then a voice from behind stops him.

Do not go there, the voice speaks to him, warning and cautionary and in a way, almost familiar in its somewhat silted manner. Nothing good awaits you at the end of that road.

Jimmy turns around to try and see if there’s actually anybody behind him, but blinks when he sees nobody at all, just the outline of a rusty old door that stands solemnly before him. The man blinks another time before he shrugs and starts to turn back towards the figure, wanting nothing more than to go over and see who it is. Before he can move, though, the voice speaks again, halting him in his tracks.

Do not go there.

“Who are you?” Jimmy demands as he whirls around now, eyes darting about as he intends to seek out the one whispering words into his ears and into his mind. The voice does not answer, but merely repeats itself once more. Do not go there.

Jimmy whirls around, a scowl now crossing his face. “Show yourself!”

You already know.

All those words do is to make Jimmy frown. “How would I already know?”

You already know, the voice replies again, infinitely patient, but somehow insistent all the same. You already know the way.

“What-” Jimmy starts to demand once more, but the voice cuts him short before he can fully ask the question.

You already know the way, it echoes, soft and quiet and understanding. When the time comes, you will remember.



There wasn’t a lot more distance to cross once dawn came and the two of them plus Korialstrasz made short work of the campfire before heading off; there wasn’t any need for breakfast, since they were souls and not human. Besides, considering where they were it hardly would seem plausible that there would be anything here which would be available for them to eat.

The sky brightens as the dragon brings them closer towards their destination, and Jimmy watches in mild fascination at how the lights play off Korialstrasz’s scales, the rays of the sun making them shine and flare in such a way that could only remind him of the fire from their campfire last night. Behind him Dean continues to remain far more interested in attempting to not fall off the dragon’s back, hands clutching tightly around the spike in front of him with fingers digging helplessly into the hard length of bone and mineral. “Are we there yet?” the hunter soon bellows out over the roar of the winds, his patience already having run short.

Korialstrasz turns its head back to regard Dean with a gleam of amusement in its red eye, not even bothering to hide said amusement in its voice. Soon, we will be. It stops to turn back its head back around, adding on in mirth. Patience.

“I’ve been pretty damned patient already,” Dean half-growls out under his breath, his voice just close enough for Jimmy to make out. In front of them both Korialstrasz lets out a snort, although the dragon’s amusement is soon cut short as Korialstrasz suddenly stills in mid-air. The sudden stop causes both men to lurch forward from the sudden shift of momentum, thrown forward slightly and losing their balance momentarily; fortunately, they both manage to regain themselves before either of them could slip from the dragon’s back.


Dean, of course, starts to snap once the hunter is certain that both him and Jimmy are alright. “What the hell was that for, Scales?”

Rather than chastising Dean about the inappropriate moniker (something that the dragon had been trying to do from the start to little success), Korialstrasz stays at where they hang in the air, wings beating thunderously at their sides for a few long moments before the dragon finally replies to them. We have company.

The hunter hisses out a few unprintable words behind Jimmy. “Good or bad?”

Bad, Korialstrasz answers tersely before it beats its wings once in an ear-shattering blast, the force of the flap causing them to blast backwards rather than forward. Jimmy winces as he clutches his ears, still reeling from the explosive sound thundering in his eardrums; he can barely make out the painful hiss coming from Dean. “Jesus, at least warn us beforehand!” the hunter bites out.

There is no time, the dragon replies quickly back in turn, shifting one wing after that to execute a sharp turn in mid-air. Again, both Dean and Jimmy have to hang on for their lives again as the wind presses and cuts against them, the force of it stinging cold. Jimmy squeezes his eyes shut as the wind starts drying up his eyeballs, while beside him Dean is cursing up a storm once more, the words inaudible to him as they’re swiftly whisked by the winds.

Korialstrasz makes a full turn back around before stopping, beating its wings yet again in order to start flying forward once more. Jimmy turns his head back to try and get a glimpse of who exactly their company is, but can’t make out anything except for winged, blurry silhouettes that could be just about anything. Dean, apparently has that same problem as well, because he’s soon snapping out loud in that demanding, authoritative tone of his that Jimmy knows well in his time with Castiel. “Wanna start explaining to us, Scales?”

Thunderbirds, Korialstrasz explains, disdain dripping from its voice as clear as day. They’re one of the few things that can take a dragon down, and there’s a whole flock of them after my tail. I can handle it if it’s one or two, but- it pauses to snort, irritation and frustration rolling off the beast in waves as it adds on in annoyance. The Leviathans must have sent them to stop me.

“You mean those featherbrains work for that son of a bitch?” Dean demands out again over the winds.

The dragon takes a moment to pull itself ahead of the thunderbirds before answering. Unfortunately, yes.

Dean curses once more. “How d’you take ‘em out?”

Several ways, but none of them at our current disposal. Korialstrasz twists its neck around now to glance at the approaching shadows, red eyes narrowing. The best way would be to get them to take each other out. Thunderbirds are extremely volatile, and they are susceptible to each other’s attacks. Using their powers against them would be the best course of action.

Jimmy hears the hunter mutter a few other choice words that’s hidden by the roar of the winds yet again. The man himself clutches tighter at the spike before him, readying himself for the eventual decision that Dean’s going to make; Jimmy can’t imagine anything else being decided at this point. He squeezes his eyes back shut as Dean shouts his answer back out to the dragon. “Alright, Scales, you’d better not throw us out.”
Korialstrasz makes a snort and Jimmy feels its neck turning back, muscles starting to shift under where he sits. Hold on tight, is the only thing that the dragon can caution them with before it snaps one wing out to catch the air, letting the force spin them right around (Dean was yelping here again) to properly turn around and face back at the approaching thunderbirds. Jimmy cracks one eye open as they whirl back, seeing sparks of electricity starting to play across the shadows like an interactive map of stars. Their wing beats sound similar to the dragons, although unlike the dragon’s their ones sound something closer to the echoes after a loud crash, the steady boom-boom-boom almost throbbing to the time of his heartbeat.

The dragon lets out a fearsome, blood-curling roar that shakes Jimmy to his bones before flapping its wings once, letting out a violent crash of thunder that booms in his ears. Without wasting any time Korialstrasz instantly goes into the offensive, darting forward with a speed so sudden it almost throws Jimmy off. Behind him Dean swears yet again, cursing loudly at the next moment as the dragon makes a sudden lurch and flies in a swift glide upwards, and it’s impossible to not feel the sudden shift of vertigo that comes with that action. Below them Jimmy hears the enraged cry of a thunderbird, its screech piercing right into his head and making his brain throb at the echoes of that cry.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dean grits out a few moments after, when Jimmy supposes the vertigo has passed and the both of them don’t feel like spewing their guts out or having major concussions. “We’re not going to last like this.”

Surprisingly, Korialstrasz makes a sound of agreement in front of them. The thunderbirds will win sooner or later. With both of you on my back, I am restricted.

Jimmy doesn’t need to turn around and see the slightly dirty look that Dean throws towards the dragon. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Scales.”

Korialstrasz says nothing in return for a few moments, one eye keeping a look out for the returning thunderbirds as the other scans the lands below them. We are not far from our destination, it starts, pausing after that. I can drop both of you through the way once we are close enough, and from there lead the thunderbirds away. It should be within my capabilities.

This time, Jimmy speaks up before Dean can cut in with anything. “Where is the way?”

In the centre of the lake, right below where the hole in the sky is, the dragon answers, turning its gaze towards where it spoke. Jimmy follows its gaze over and sees the lake shimmering and gleaming in its ever strange way, noticing the patch of pure darkness that floats right in the centre. Jimmy raises his eyes up from there and sees the hole in the sky, the strange spot in the centre of this world that both intrigues and mystifies him.

Dean stares at the lake as well, grimacing. “We’re going to have to dive into the lake?” he asks.

Before there was land, there was only the sea, Korialstrasz answers, plain and simple. The first beasts were made to rule the boundless waters. The dragon makes another sharp turn, this time directly facing the lake as it makes its way towards where the end of their journey would be. Korialstrasz lets out another deafening beat of its wings, spurning them forward and closer to their destination even as the wing beats of the thunderbirds start to echo in his ears once more. The dragon pushes on even further forward, speaking with far more urgency now. I will bring you to the centre, and from there you two will have to jump down; with the connection you two share with the angel, that link will guide you the rest of the way.

“I feel assured already,” the hunter remarks dryly, but all the same there’s no other choice in the matter. Once the explanation has been given Korialstrasz picks up speed again, flying faster and harder, each beat of the dragon’s wings bringing them closer to the lake. The thunderbirds are gaining on them at the same time though, and Jimmy can hear their cries for revenge as they catch up with the dragon, screeching wildly before they swoop close and strike.

Korialstrasz roars at the moment when the birds come in close to attack, eyes blazing while it tries to swipe at them with its talons. The thunderbirds are however much faster and sleeker than the dragon, and they easily dodge the clumsy strikes that Korialstrasz attempts on them and return it with some vicious ones of their own. Both Jimmy and Dean have to duck as the thunderbirds attempt to pick them off the dragon’s back, but Korialstrasz constantly shakes them off before any of the birds can do that. The dragon twists around violently, another savage roar ripping from its jaws as Korialstrasz lashes its tail at them. The appendage is thick enough to catch some of the birds off guard and send them crashing down, although the dragon growls as the scales on the parts of his tail that make contact with the thunderbirds soon become charred and blackened, breaking into pieces that scatter in the winds.

Jimmy makes a start when he sees the now vulnerable appendage, seeing the pieces of new, untouched skin that gleams underneath the broken scales. “Korial-”

This is no time for regrets, human, Korialstrasz snaps back quickly, a snarl escaping it as the dragon takes a chance to cast another glance at their surroundings below. We’re getting close; I’ll start to go down now so that you two can jump through properly.

“They’re catching up again!” Dean shouts out from behind them, effectively cutting their time for conversation and discussion short. Korialstrasz quickly picks up its speed again, shifting its wings soon after to bring them to a lowering glide, going closer to the surface of the strange, shimmering lake. The light of the sky blinks back at Jimmy as they come close, shining in his face along with a million other broken reflections that Jimmy can’t make out at all. The shimmer, however, disappears as the blackness start to overtake the waters, and Jimmy watches as the differing darknesses shift and slide against each other, moving in a way that can only make Jimmy think of living shadows.

Korialstrasz’s voice quickly breaks Jimmy out from his thoughts. We’re here, the dragon says, hurried and impatient-and judging from the approaching thunderbirds, he can see why. Jimmy starts to shift in his spot, bringing his leg back from the side of the spike and trying to ignore the numbness that rushes up his muscles as he pulls his leg back. Dean doesn’t seem to fare any better as well, although he does seem to get over it sooner, which isn’t so surprising. As their feet dangle over the edge, the dragon imparts to them a few final words. Trust in the bond you two have with the angel, humans. That is the key to accomplishing what you desire.

Dean nods, and puts on his best smile as he faces Jimmy and asks the coming question. “Ready?”

Jimmy only rolls his eyes in response. “Let’s go.” He’s scared to death and terrified as hell about what will happen after this, but this is for Castiel, his friend. If they don’t do this, then all that they’ve done until now will all be for naught. Jimmy can’t allow that to happen. He will not let it happen, not after everything.

He sucks in a deep breath and closes his eyes, placing everything up to his fate as he follows Dean and allows himself to slip off the back of Korialstrasz. There’s a moment of clarity in where he’s freefalling in the air, feeling and sensing nothing else but the wind that howls in his ears-and then moments later he plunges straight into the lake beneath him.

The icy chill of the water grips him tight the moment he dives into the lake, the cold nearly causing him to gasp in surprise. Jimmy manages to rein in the reaction, though, and squeezes his eyes shut as tightly as he can. He can feel his cheeks straining from the sheer effort of keeping the air that’s trapped within them, his lungs constricting in an attempt to squeeze out as much as air that can be mustered out in the situation. Jimmy flails his arms in the water, attempting to swim upwards to the surface, trying to fight against the weight of his clothes and the pressure of the water as it squeezes him dry.

Shit, Jimmy swears in his head as he continues with his valiant attempts in swimming to the surface, but the weight of his clothes drag him down and Jimmy wriggles around desperately, trying to ease the burden by dislodging some of the layers off his body. His movements, however, are sluggish at best, made even worse by both the lake and his waterlogged clothes. The effort also causes Jimmy to quickly lose whatever oxygen he has left in his body, and soon the lack of air is what causes his undoing.

The man feels his strength sapping away from him swiftly as his body crumples and gives in to the tiredness and exhaustion, ice-cold water rushing into his lungs as his mouth instinctively gasps open in an attempt for oxygen. There’s pain wherever the water rushes in, choking his lungs and robbing him entirely of his air. His chest burns, stinging with a cold, icy fire, and Jimmy can only choke noiselessly in the water as pain wrecks his lungs and he can feel himself slipping, consciousness fading as pressure slowly eases and slip away from him without warning, almost as if the weight of the world itself is now being taken away from his shoulders.

Jimmy supposes he can appreciate the lightness, at least, as sensation numbs out in his nerves and he’s going, going, gone-

Tell me-do you want to save Castiel?

Yes. Yes, he does want to, but there’s no way he can do it now, not like this, lost and cold and tired and now doing nothing else but sinking deeper and deeper without an end to this in-between existence.

What drives you to come all the way here to help him?

He remembers being asked this question before, just not too long ago; he still remembers the answer as clear as day, and he repeats that answer again in his few moments of clarity, when he manages to wrestle himself out from the strange fog that’s hovering around his head. Castiel is my friend.

And you will do all that you can to save him?

Yes. Jimmy will, and it would come to pass no matter what. If I have to, I will give everything. Castiel’s the reason why he’s here now, why the world hasn’t ended, and why Claire and Amelia still get to live in a world that still stands and spins onwards. Though he’s gone down on the wrong path since then, Jimmy has the belief that things would change for the better; call it a hopeless dream, but Jimmy wants to believe. He wants to believe and trust in the angel who he had given his consent to, to be once again place his faith in the soldier that could manage to change the fate of the world.

Something seems to reverberate within Jimmy at the response he gives, and without warning Jimmy feels a pulse of something beating around the centre of his chest. It throbs and beats to the time of his heartbeat, beating on for a few moments before the sensation suddenly lurches and without warning, Jimmy feels a strong surge of warmth run down his limbs and across his entire body, wholly driving out the icy coldness within him. The sudden feeling causes Jimmy to let out a gasp in surprise, and as he does so the man flings his eyelids wide open, feeling nothing but phantom breezes caressing him. There’s no more water, no more ice, no more cold-only stifling air and the vast darkness that stretches endlessly around him.

Too surprised and stunned by the abrupt shift, Jimmy can only blink blankly as he now stares at the darkness that stretches out before him in all directions-up and down and left and right-seeing nothing else but miles and miles of shadows so thick he can’t make out anything at all, not even the hand that he raises in front of his face. Jimmy attempts for a few minutes but fails, letting out a hiss of frustration as he drops his hand back down and proceeds to twist his head around, trying to find the possibility of anything being able to help him out here. Wherever here happened to be, anyway.

Jimmy twists around some more in the darkness and silence, attempting to ascertain just exactly where his current location is after-after everything that’s just taken place. He still doesn’t exactly get what’s going on within Castiel, what with dusty corridors and vast places that seem too big and wide to be real, as if there’s a world by itself inside of the angel; but what he does know is that Castiel is somewhere in this vast, terrifying place, all alone and needing all the help he can get, and Jimmy isn’t about to abandon his celestial friend.

He feels the pulse of warmth again as he thinks that, a surge of energy that starts from his chest and starts to sweep out to all points of his body. The cold rushes away as heat fills in, replacing the chill, and Jimmy hears a voice whispering at the corners of his mind, a quiet murmur that’s so soft that it’s nearly inaudible even in the silence. Reach for it.

Jimmy twists his head around again, attempting to see if he can actually find the speaker this time round; his search, of course, yields up nothing. Frustrated, the man shoots back to the voice mentally (internal communication, at least, is something that Jimmy is now proficient with thanks to his year with Castiel). Who are you?

A warm pulse is his only response, the sensation tingling in his chest. Reach for it, Jimmy, the voice repeats itself, as patient as ever.

Not until I have answers, he retorts, trying to picture an immovable mountain and putting himself as that mountain; Jimmy always found that pictures and images work much better than words ever would in these channels. Where words could not describe, a picture is all that he needs to make himself understandable. This, too, he learned from his conversations with Castiel, the two of them once having been worlds apart despite being still so close to one another. The angel and his vessel. It would have been almost funny, really, if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s part of this.

The voice makes no comment at Jimmy’s efforts, but there is a hint of confusion and exasperation bleeding through when it speaks again. Reach for your bond with the angel. It will lead the way.

Jimmy has to pause at that, taken aback by the guidance he suddenly has; the battered, haggard and cynical part of him instantly regards this new information and its informant with suspicion, but the more hopeful part of him wants to latch onto this shred of hope, the one (figurative) speck of light within the darkness. What makes you so sure? He eventually asks to the voice, hopeful but wary, cautious but expectant.

A pause hangs on for a few moments, silent, considering, and then the voice answers, sounding so certain and sure that Jimmy can’t find any reason to doubt the words it spoke. Because you know.

Yeah, there’s no way that Jimmy can argue against something like that.

If I know, he starts slowly, because if this is the only way then yeah, he had better listen to the strange voice talking in his head, then why can I not reach it?

You already hold the thread, the voice returns, assuring and calming and at the same time confident, its patience seemingly never running thin. All you have to do is to follow where it leads you.

Thread. That word rings a bell in Jimmy’s head, somehow. The man pauses, trying to remember where and when the word had held significance to him. He runs his mind back through the days since his resurrection, from the moment he wakes up to where he is right now-waking up in the middle of nowhere, meeting Kortez, the return to Pontiac, being rescued by Gabriel-

-and then, the thread.

The thread.

Fate’s thread.

Just as the memory of that rushes into Jimmy, he feels the warmth from his chest-much more familiar to him now that he knows where its coming from-surging forth, rushing around his body as it flows towards his right wrist, concentrating itself there into a familiar band of warmth around his wrist that soon takes on shape and form. A warmth pulses, and Jimmy blinks as a brilliant flare of golden light suddenly bursts forth and Jimmy has to quickly screw his eyes shut to not let the lights injure his vision-while it wasn’t as flashy as many other things he had seen before (and by now Jimmy had seen a lot like Uriel’s death, which the bastard wholly deserved in his most honest opinion) but the intensity of it nearly blinding after having been in the darkness for so long.

After what feels like moments or minutes, the lights eventually die out and Jimmy lets himself count to five before he deems it okay to open his eyes again. He does it slowly, while blinking out the beginnings of tears that cling onto the corners of his eyes-the intense light had made them water just a bit. The darkness slowly refocuses before him once his eyes are fully open, along with a soft yellow glow that radiates somewhere just below his field of vision. Jimmy shifts his head down, lowering his sight so that he can actually see what it is that’s making that light. The discovery doesn’t take too long to happen; it’s only a matter of moments before he finds the origin of where the glow comes from; it’s right there, around his wrist. The string of Fate.

The thread had all but slipped from Jimmy’s mind when he woke up, but now that its back again Jimmy does have to berate himself a little for having lost track of it so easily-but no matter. At least it’s back now, and more than that it’s going to lead him to where Castiel is. Recalling the words of what the voice had said to him, Jimmy rotates his wrist around, studying the now-glowing string and noticing the loose part after the knot where it falls out, dangling. It occurs to him then that Gabriel most likely must have foreseen something like this happening, or else the archangel wouldn’t have tied the string in this manner.

The man makes a mental note to thank Gabriel later as he reaches with his other hand to grab onto the loose bit, winding it once around his index finger and tugs onto it. The knot quickly unwinds itself, the string falling away from Jimmy’s wrist in one whole piece and now dangles from his finger. The warmth pulses again, beating, and then starts to thrum as the glow around the string moves, flowing down the thread like a river. Jimmy can only watch in awe as the light runs down from the thread of fate, turning into a literal thread of light as it flows in a single line that stretches on to what seems like infinity itself, twisting and turning at almost every direction into the distance beyond.

It’s a way, Jimmy realizes with a jolt. The light’s showing him where to go. And if he still wasn’t certain about that, the warmth in his chest pulses again in a way akin to agreement, and Jimmy hears the voice whispering to him again. Follow the light.

“Follow the yellow brick road, huh?” he mutters to himself, one corner of his lips twitching up. Jimmy winds the string around his finger for a few more times, ensuring that the thread’s safely wrapped around before he starts to follow the trail of light, his footsteps clicking around and echoing endlessly within the darkness of the world.

Time passes as he walks, flashing in moments, seconds, minutes, hours, day, weeks, months and years. There’s no way to tell how long or how far he’s walking, only going on step by step as he goes where the light of the string takes him to. In an instant it feels like mere moments, the next one perhaps hours. His mind seems to drift on and off as he walks, wandering in the shadows as does everything else; the only constant presence is the light and the security of the string around his finger. Jimmy lets himself trust in that as he walks on and on, both a moment and an eternity passing by as he does so.

He doesn’t feel exhaustion, doesn’t feel hunger, doesn’t feel thirst; energy simply seems to continue thrumming within him without pause, giving him the needed strength to keep on walking, keep on moving, keep on hoping. It reminds him a bit like when Castiel had been within him-the angel never had to do any of the mandatory human functions, being powered on Grace alone. But he’s not an angel, not here-he’s just human, even if he’s just a soul here, but somehow that doesn’t seem to matter. He’s got his hope and his energy, and he’s going to go through with this no matter what.

Eventually, after seconds and moments and the passing of eons, Jimmy sees the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a speck of light in the distance, shining white and brilliant almost like a star, a sun. It stretches itself bigger, the light spreading with each step he takes closer to it, but Jimmy doesn’t feel any pain in his eyes. The light, bright as it is, is nothing but welcoming to him, inviting. It’s greeting him, and Jimmy graciously accepts the invitation without missing a beat.

Hold on tight, Cas, the man thinks to himself as he takes the last few steps forward, letting the light swallow him out of the darkness and shadows. I’m coming for you.



The light engulfs him only for a few brief moments before it fades, and the first thing that Jimmy feels is the solidity of the ground under his feet. The next thing he feels is himself, the weight of his own form pressing back into him after the long stretch of darkness that had twisted his senses around. The third thing he feels is the crisp air that brushes against his skin, a burst of coolness after the stifling air that surrounded him in the darkness.

Jimmy blinks as the world slowly focuses into shape around him, a familiar scene assembling itself before his eyes as he hears the sound of gentle, lapping waves on the edge of the lake he finds himself facing at. Above him the sky is dotted in all manner of clouds, blocking out the sun just enough so that the place isn’t terribly bright. It’s a simple, elegant spring day, and Jimmy can remember exactly just where he had seen this scene before; in the dream, when he had contacted Castiel back before confronting the false god in the panic room.

“Castiel,” the man murmurs to himself, a frown crossing his face. Behind him, something shifts, and Jimmy instantly turns his head around as his body tenses up-he quickly relaxes through once the figure comes out from behind the giant oak tree, Jimmy letting out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding back up until now. “Dean,” he calls out in relief, glad that the hunter is okay.

Dean’s only response is a grunt as he comes to a stop before him. “Been looking for you,” he starts with a small scowl, frustration coming out at the forefront in order to hide the worry. He gives a brief glare at Jimmy to display his momentary bout of annoyance before it relaxes and the hunter asks the next question. “What happened?”

Jimmy glances down at his hands, absently realizing that the string had vanished around his finger. He doesn’t need it any more though, he supposes. Rather than replying to Dean, the man follows his gut instinct and turns his head around towards the dock in the distance; it doesn’t take him more than a few moments to recognize the lone figure that stands on the platform. “Castiel.”

“Wha-” Dean starts, following Jimmy’s gaze towards the dock and his own eyes widen in surprise. The shout falls out easily from the hunter’s lips as Dean instantly springs into action and Jimmy quickly follows behind. They both run towards the dock, Dean faster than Jimmy as he dashes forward like there’s no tomorrow, crying out as loudly as he can. “Cas! Cas!”

Castiel turns around at the call of his name, and Jimmy watches his own blue eyes widening in surprise as the angel sees them both, looking as if unable to believe that they had managed to get to him. For a moment it seems as if Castiel almost hesitates to call out to them, but Dean shouts again and quickens his pace, both of them just about an arm’s reach from Castiel now, and that’s all that the angel needs before his resolve breaks.

“Dean-” he starts, but Jimmy doesn’t hear anything else after that as he finds himself suddenly being violently flung off to the side. He hears the hunter’s startled shout and Castiel’s own gasp of surprise, but the sounds are quickly lost under the pain and the agony of his blossoming injuries when he crashes to the ground, his entire body crumpling across the earth like a useless ragdoll. Everything hurts now, throbbing and aching without pause as Jimmy attempts to pull himself back together; a groan escapes from the back of his throat, pained and agonizing, and the pounding of his head wasn’t helping out at all.

He hears Dean’s violent swear into the air as the hunter shouts his name and hears footsteps hurrying towards him, but then Castiel shouts out Dean’s name once more and the next thing Jimmy can hear is the hunter’s own shout of surprise before a body crashes down next to him. It only takes a second for Jimmy to figure out who the person beside him is.

“Dean,” he breathes out the name in a hiss, wincing at the pain that still throbs across his entire body. Next to him the hunter in question spits out a curse in-between gritted teeth as Dean forces himself to roll over, palms pressing onto the ground as the man attempts to push himself back up, totally ignoring the way how everything in his body is obviously hurting in violent protest from the trembles and shakes that Jimmy can see raking across Dean’s body.

He opens his mouth, wanting to warn and caution the other man, but another voice cuts in before he can say anything. “I wouldn’t try to push myself like that if I were you, Dean.”

The voice is far too familiar and far too sinister for Jimmy’s own liking, and despite the pain wrecking in his own body Jimmy starts to push himself up as well, elbows digging into the dirt underneath him as the man lifts the upper half of his body up. He cranes his neck as high as he can, straining his muscles as Jimmy squints and sees the dark-robed figure that’s currently walking towards them. Dean gets back onto his feet quickly and instantly snarls at the approaching figure, green eyes flashing as he snaps loudly. “Who the fuck’re you, asshole?”

“Dean,” Castiel gasps just a few footsteps behind both of them, fear and terror mixed into that one word, and that’s all Jimmy needs to hear before he figures out exactly who the figure coming to them is.

He bites out a curse under his breath, holding it after that as he sucks in the pain around his body and pushes himself back to his feet as well, stumbling for a moment before he regains his balance. Jimmy unconsciously grabs his right shoulder that throbs the worst out of his bruises, wincing as he makes out the (way too familiar) facial features of the approaching figure before he breathes out to the hunter beside him. “Dean, it’s-”

“No need to spoil the surprise,” the figure drawls out as it pauses before them, standing close enough for the other three to see it properly. Behind them Castiel makes a terrified sound and shifts back as Dean hisses out a very irate-sounding ‘hat the fuck’ to nobody in particular. Jimmy only steels himself, clutching his shoulder tighter and pushing away the pain wrecking his body as he glares at the new duplicate of himself that’s dressed in nothing else but black-black pants, black shirt, black coat, black tie.

The Leviathan grins brightly at all of them back in return as the veins across the left side of its face spread out in a crawling spider web of black before vanishing when it speaks up, its voice far too bright and cheerful to belong to either of the body’s original occupants. “Hello, Dean. Hello, Jimmy. I must say, this meeting really has been a long time coming."

Dean, of course, instantly speaks out after that. “You,” he snarls out, the word coming out from the hunter in a violent hiss as he scowls at the dark-robed version of Castiel, and Jimmy has take a moment and wonder how weird his life must be now to see not one but two versions of his body running around. It is a little bit disturbing, despite how things might have changed already since the first round.

The Leviathan only stretches its grin even wider, looking far too happy as dark eyes sweep across the three of them, taking in all of their features. “Me,” it echoes back simply, speaking out in Castiel’s-his-voice.

Dean’s temper only flares up even more at the response, and the hunter’s scowl grows even more prominent as Dean takes a step forward and glares daggers at the monster that currently inhabits Castiel. “Get the fuck out of Cas right now, you son of a bitch!” he snaps, nothing but venom and hate in the hunter’s voice.

Rather than responding nicely the Leviathan actually pouts and pointedly turns its gaze upward, rolling its shoulders and answering in an all-too casual shrug. “But I like this body.”

Dean narrows his eyes to that answer, and Jimmy can see his fists curling up, hands shaking with the literal effort to not run right up and punch the fake Castiel. The hunter’s voice is tight and controlled, just skirting on the edge of anger even as it bleeds over and drips from every word that Dean says next. “I said; get the fuck out of Cas right now.”

“Or what?” the Leviathan returns in a near-drawl as a bemused expression slowly crosses its face, a twisted sort of parody to both Jimmy and Castiel. “I can’t really think of what you might possibly be able do to me in here, Dean.” The words come out easy and casual, but the fact in said words is lain out very clearly. There is no question as to who’s the one in charge right now-this place is the territory of the first beasts, and there’s no way any of them can do anything when they’re all right smack in the middle of its place. Even if they’ve made their way to the tiger’s den to catch the tiger, they’re all but helpless against the tiger itself. It’s a fact that all of them here are aware of, even Dean.

The amused look on the Leviathan’s face only stretches further at the long bout of silence that follows after its words, knowing full well that none of them could say anything back in response. “I thought so,” it speaks in a voice that sounds far too happy for any of them to be comfortable with-it’s just wrong, to hear a voice like that coming out from his (their) mouths.

Jimmy keeps his silence as the moment goes on, and he would have been happy to keep it that way up until the Leviathan decides to turn its attention towards him. The man feels himself freezing in place as the monster wearing his face turns and faces him, the smile on its face growing wide; another sprawl of black surges across its skin again, veins momentarily appearing in a flash of black before sinking back under skin. The sight isn’t as bad as some of the things he had seen during his time with Castiel, but yet the sheer wrongness of this entire situation makes Jimmy feel sick to his stomach. If he had been a lesser man, perhaps he would have even puked his guts out.

But rather than doing that he remains emotionless, silent and carefully neutral as the Leviathan slowly walks towards him, pacing closer to where he is with each and every step. The grass crunches under its feet as it comes closer; next to him, Jimmy can hear Dean sucking in a breath. From the corner of his eyes he sees Castiel glancing at them nervously, the angel’s own eyes wide in fear and darting between where the Leviathan’s walking and where they’re standing.

Castiel, Jimmy wants to start saying, try and at least make the angel feel better, but there’s no time for that as a hand rests against his cheek and gently nudges his face back forward, and Jimmy sees nothing but the beast who wears his and Castiel’s face. There’s a moment where he wonders how anybody could have mistaken the Leviathan for either him or the angel, because even with the identical looks they all share the difference is as clear as day to him. His eyes are blue, that much is certain-with Castiel they flare in a far brighter tint, shining with the brilliance of the angel’s Grace. Under the Leviathan, though-he sees his eyes now dark and shadowed, the blue of his irises so dark that they could pass for black instead. The cruel twist of lips that now splays across the beast’s face is also something that neither him nor Castiel would ever have.

Human, angel, beast. It’s strange how the differences are so small but yet so clear, especially when each of them are all in the same body. His body, but if Jimmy has to be honest that terminology is more or less already lost on him; it’s been lost from the moment he said yes to Castiel and gave his body over to the angel of Thursday. It’s Castiel’s body as much as it is his own, and in a twisted way it’s also the Leviathan’s-after all, Castiel had taken Purgatory into himself willingly despite how fucked up this entire situation is now.

“Jimmy Novak,” the beast before him starts to speak, and Jimmy instantly puts his train of thoughts to a halt as he directs his attention to the being that now looks at him with eyes that are the same but yet also so different. The sprawl of black flashes through its veins again, dark blood making itself visible under the skin that’s his as much as its own. Jimmy lets his eyes follow the flow of black from one side of the Leviathan’s face to the other, watching it vanish under clothes and hair before he returns his gaze to stare at dark, amused eyes.

“Let Castiel go,” he says, because there is no going around this. This is the reason why he’s here, why he’s even alive again in the first place after Raphael had tore both him and Castiel apart. He has to save his friend.

The Leviathan rolls its eyes. “Is that the only thing you all can say?”

Jimmy doesn’t let himself be deterred. “Let him go,” the man repeats himself, mustering up whatever courage that he can scourge up into those three words.

Rather than replying again the Leviathan only tilts its head in a very Castiel-like manner and blinks, studying Jimmy with its too-dark eyes. Jimmy looks back, feeling the gaze of the Leviathan settling onto him almost like a physical sensation; the moment holds on and stretches forward, and Jimmy can feel a trickle of sweat running down the side of his neck. The tension is so thick and solid that it hangs like a block in the air, catching on like the moment in-between the swing of a pendulum, both fleeting and evident.

It almost feels like forever to Jimmy before the Leviathan speaks up again, and this time its voice is questioning, prodding-curious. “Why?”

Jimmy blinks, having been caught off-guard by the unexpected question. “Why?” he echoes back, uncertain.

“Why do you let yourself suffer so much?” the Leviathan asks as it straightens its head back up, too-dark eyes still focused onto him. “Are you going to just let Cas here trample all over you again, Jimmy?”

“Cas isn’t-” Dean instantly starts to cut in, but his voice vanishes with a wave of the Leviathan’s hand and Jimmy watches in shock as the hunter continues to shout and swear but nothing comes out from his mouth. Dean stops after a few seconds, one hand instantly moving up to clutch at his own throat as he opens his mouth in a voiceless shout, green eyes going wide for a moment before realization settles in and the eyes instantly snap to the Leviathan’s, anger and indignation burning fiercely and doing a good job of saying everything that he could not speak out in that one, single glare.

Rather than being impressed the Leviathan simply remains uninterested, only giving Dean a cursory look to ensure his silence before returning its attention back to Jimmy who can do nothing else but follow the beast’s gaze. He feels a lump resting heavily at the back of his throat, solid as a stone and wholly immovable. There’s nothing he can say.

“You know best of all if I’m lying or not,” the Leviathan starts again now that Dean can’t interrupt them; Castiel is still there, too, but Jimmy knows that the angel is all but powerless now, and won’t attempt anything; from the corner of his eye he sees him moving towards Dean, asserting the hunter’s condition. “From the day you became Cas’s vessel, nothing has ever gone right for you, has it?”

Jimmy pulls his attention away from Castiel and Dean to properly focus at the Leviathan. “I gave him my consent,” he answers. “Castiel has the right to do whatever he wishes.”

“Of course he does,” the beast smoothly drawls back, eyes rolling once more. “But don’t tell me that you haven’t regretted that decision, not even once.”

Jimmy opens his mouth out of reflex, syllables of answers already starting to form at the back of his throat-but he stops before any of them can properly come out and snaps his mouth back shut. His jaw clenches, and he can see Dean stilling at the side, eyes widening as he interprets the silence; Castiel, on the other hand, quickly averts his gaze away. Even without words, the answer is obvious to all of them.

The Leviathan smiles triumphantly at the silence. “Being an angel’s vessel isn’t everything that it’s cracked up to be, eh Jimmy?”

A moment is all that Jimmy can give himself to deny the beast’s words before the reality sets in. “No,” he answers, head lowering down as his voice turns quiet, soft. “Not really.” Nothing had ever been the same for him from the moment Castiel entered his body-in less than a year Jimmy would only find his dreams and beliefs shattered, his hopes dashed and his entire world flipped upside down. Heaven and the angels weren’t like anything that any human could imagine-no peace, no tranquillity, no stability. There were only betrayals and half-truths and lies lies lies everywhere else. There’s no glory, no salvation, no power; only hurt and pain and fear.

“Do you want to take it back?”

Jimmy snaps his head back up, his eyes growing wide in surprise as he stares at the Leviathan. He feels his breath escaping from the back of his throat, a trembling release from his lungs he’s hardly aware of as conflicting emotions swirl in his gut. To get back his freedom, to get away from a lifetime and an eternity of being stuck with Castiel-the selfish, instinctive human part of him wants it so fucking much. He wants to see Amelia again, to watch Claire grow up happy and healthy; he wants to return to his normal life where he didn’t have to deal with all of this. He wants his life before Castiel came and sent everything to hell for him. He wants, but Jimmy also knows that he can’t have it. He can never have it, not again-this is the life that he has now, even if he didn’t choose it wholly.

The man tells himself all of that and more, but somehow it’s not enough to harden himself at the next thing that the Leviathan asks. The beast must have known this as well, because there’s a blatant smirk on its face and a gleam of triumph in its dark eyes as it questions. “If I gave you a chance, Jimmy, would you take it back? Take back that little ‘yes’ that changed your life?”

“I-” he starts, voice catching in his throat as two opposing answers clash in his mind. There is, of course, the ‘no’; no because despite everything now Castiel is his friend, and the angel had given everything to prevent the end of the world from happening and he doesn’t deserve this. But at the same time, there is the fact that Castiel has single-handedly fucked up the entire world and sent it spiralling towards destruction again by opening Purgatory. The angel has made him lose his family, his freedom and his life. Even now, there is no moment of peace for him, nothing close to serenity-from the moment he woke back to this world there had been nothing but chaos and madness, and try as he might Jimmy can’t help but hate Castiel for what he had done to his life, just a little. He once had been nothing but a simple man; it was only because of Castiel that his life had become so complicated.

The Leviathan regards Jimmy with another cursory look before it takes a step forward closer to him and places a hand on his shoulder; the touch is deceptively human-not cold or hot, but simply just warm in the way every human is. Jimmy can’t help but fix his gaze on the hand for just a few moments, caught off-guard by the near-friendly gesture. It’s been nothing but hardship and pain ever since he woke up, so to have something like this so suddenly… Jimmy returns his gaze back to the Leviathan, the mass of emotions still swirling in his gut even as he starts to speak again. “I-”

“-I’ll let you have a trial run first,” it cuts in smoothly, the smile on its face widening in a way that unsettles him. The hand on his shoulder tightens, keeping him in place as Jimmy finds himself caught in the Leviathan’s gaze, rooting him right on the spot. “Live the life a little, and you can tell me your answer after you’re done.”

Jimmy opens his mouth in an attempt to say something once more, but the Leviathan places a hand on his head, shoving him backwards, and the last thing he registers before blacking out is the quiet whoosh of air as he’s transported to elsewhere.

→ five: something of that fire burns still →