Tell my love the secret I have died to keep ; Jaejoong/Changmin
Title: Tell my love the secret I have died to keep
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Pairing: Jaejoong/Changmin
Disclaimer: The boys do not belong to me. This is also nothing but pure fiction.
Tell my love the secret I have died to keep
DBSK ; Jaejoong/Changmin ; PG-13
If you want something to happen between us,
I think there are a million and one reasons to not love you, but it doesn’t stop me from spending nights sleepless and wanting. I stand in front of the mirror, and wonder if there is anything I might possess that you could bring yourself to love. I see everything that is out of place, everything awkward, and everything in contrast to your perfection. From the mirror, I watch you flick the lights in the hallway on, and you stand there, silhouetted by yellow lights, hair sticking up in all directions and your hands rubbing at your sleepy eyes. “Come to bed already,” you say, beckoning me with a hand. You say my name, rolling it across your tongue, familiar and comfortable, and I realise this one thing: I can never be immune to the sheer force of your beauty.
You and me, like two sides of a mirror,
You taught me a lot of things. From you, I learnt love, heartbreak and the worst kind of longing in the world. I learnt that the aftermath of love was always a kind of pain that seared through your nerves, leaving them frayed and burnt. You told me it was perfectly safe to fall in love, so long as you resisted the side-effects, but you never taught me how to.
So I ended up haunted by achingly beautiful images of you- your long slender fingers that stroked across ivory piano keys and my heated skin, drawing patterns around my desire; your darkened eyes that suspended all of my hopes and dreams; your gasps and pants and noisy breathing; the beat of your heart; your hips; your collarbone; the hair that grazed your shoulders; your wrists-
I’ve only known you for five years, but it feels like a lifetime.
There’s eternity, and then there’s tomorrow,
Your gaze spears through the heavy night, swift, sharp and silver. You roll on your bed, so you’re lying right at the edge, and then you stretch your arm out, suspended above the space between our beds. Instinctively, I mirror your movement, so our fingers touch. You smile, brief and fleeting, and then almost immediately swing your arm back to your bed, curling it under your body, eyes fluttering shut.
It’s a secret wish of mine that one day you will be the one who will crawl into my bed at night, spoon me from behind, breath against the back of my neck and stay until daybreak. I want something that can see the light of day, that can withstand the unforgiving gaze of society and I want something that stand the test of time. I want you.
I want you; honest, open and saying I love you. Some things you just can’t force. Across from me, you’re lying on your bed on your side, a giant comma, asleep.
The sunlight splinters over you and me and one broken heart,
Between us, there is nothing romantic.
We started as something without a name, consisting of stolen kisses, half-awake tumbles in bed and clumsy smiles. We end with a heavy rush of agony, grief and anguish on my part. In the background, there is no sorrowful melody- the only soundtrack of your leaving was the solitary silence of the recording studio and my desperate whispers for you to stay.
“We can’t,” you say, and I try to recall when the last time you followed the rules was, but then you continue speaking, “They told us right from the start.” You peel my arms away from your waist, turn around, and face me. “Never fall in love with a fellow member.”
There is no such thing as a beautiful farewell. All love stories lie. There is only me, heart in my hands, wishing I wasn’t me, you weren’t you, and this relationship wasn’t condemned to always be loveless.
“Jaejoong,” I whisper. The only thing that I can think of is six nights ago and the addictive way you writhed underneath me like a shadow I couldn’t shake, and the way you told me don’t stop, oh God, please don’t stop. Perhaps you were never meant to belong to me, but for once, I wished I could have something out of my reach. Just this once and I’ll never be greedy again.
I’ve only known you for five years, but I cannot remember a time when I didn’t love you or want you like this. Maybe memory only starts when you meet someone you really want. I think, if I take one more step forward, tilt my head just a little to the right, I’ll be able to kiss you, full- ripe- and complete- on the mouth, and maybe there’ll be a chance-
A long time ago, you told me, you must fight for what you want, and then you’ll deserve it.
I want to deserve you.
And starring me and my half-heart because the other half left with you-
end.
Comments make me happy. Thank you for reading.
A/N: Title is taken from a poem by Sara Teasdale
MASTERLIST OF FICS HERE
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Pairing: Jaejoong/Changmin
Disclaimer: The boys do not belong to me. This is also nothing but pure fiction.
Tell my love the secret I have died to keep
DBSK ; Jaejoong/Changmin ; PG-13
If you want something to happen between us,
I think there are a million and one reasons to not love you, but it doesn’t stop me from spending nights sleepless and wanting. I stand in front of the mirror, and wonder if there is anything I might possess that you could bring yourself to love. I see everything that is out of place, everything awkward, and everything in contrast to your perfection. From the mirror, I watch you flick the lights in the hallway on, and you stand there, silhouetted by yellow lights, hair sticking up in all directions and your hands rubbing at your sleepy eyes. “Come to bed already,” you say, beckoning me with a hand. You say my name, rolling it across your tongue, familiar and comfortable, and I realise this one thing: I can never be immune to the sheer force of your beauty.
You and me, like two sides of a mirror,
You taught me a lot of things. From you, I learnt love, heartbreak and the worst kind of longing in the world. I learnt that the aftermath of love was always a kind of pain that seared through your nerves, leaving them frayed and burnt. You told me it was perfectly safe to fall in love, so long as you resisted the side-effects, but you never taught me how to.
So I ended up haunted by achingly beautiful images of you- your long slender fingers that stroked across ivory piano keys and my heated skin, drawing patterns around my desire; your darkened eyes that suspended all of my hopes and dreams; your gasps and pants and noisy breathing; the beat of your heart; your hips; your collarbone; the hair that grazed your shoulders; your wrists-
I’ve only known you for five years, but it feels like a lifetime.
There’s eternity, and then there’s tomorrow,
Your gaze spears through the heavy night, swift, sharp and silver. You roll on your bed, so you’re lying right at the edge, and then you stretch your arm out, suspended above the space between our beds. Instinctively, I mirror your movement, so our fingers touch. You smile, brief and fleeting, and then almost immediately swing your arm back to your bed, curling it under your body, eyes fluttering shut.
It’s a secret wish of mine that one day you will be the one who will crawl into my bed at night, spoon me from behind, breath against the back of my neck and stay until daybreak. I want something that can see the light of day, that can withstand the unforgiving gaze of society and I want something that stand the test of time. I want you.
I want you; honest, open and saying I love you. Some things you just can’t force. Across from me, you’re lying on your bed on your side, a giant comma, asleep.
The sunlight splinters over you and me and one broken heart,
Between us, there is nothing romantic.
We started as something without a name, consisting of stolen kisses, half-awake tumbles in bed and clumsy smiles. We end with a heavy rush of agony, grief and anguish on my part. In the background, there is no sorrowful melody- the only soundtrack of your leaving was the solitary silence of the recording studio and my desperate whispers for you to stay.
“We can’t,” you say, and I try to recall when the last time you followed the rules was, but then you continue speaking, “They told us right from the start.” You peel my arms away from your waist, turn around, and face me. “Never fall in love with a fellow member.”
There is no such thing as a beautiful farewell. All love stories lie. There is only me, heart in my hands, wishing I wasn’t me, you weren’t you, and this relationship wasn’t condemned to always be loveless.
“Jaejoong,” I whisper. The only thing that I can think of is six nights ago and the addictive way you writhed underneath me like a shadow I couldn’t shake, and the way you told me don’t stop, oh God, please don’t stop. Perhaps you were never meant to belong to me, but for once, I wished I could have something out of my reach. Just this once and I’ll never be greedy again.
I’ve only known you for five years, but I cannot remember a time when I didn’t love you or want you like this. Maybe memory only starts when you meet someone you really want. I think, if I take one more step forward, tilt my head just a little to the right, I’ll be able to kiss you, full- ripe- and complete- on the mouth, and maybe there’ll be a chance-
A long time ago, you told me, you must fight for what you want, and then you’ll deserve it.
I want to deserve you.
And starring me and my half-heart because the other half left with you-
end.
Comments make me happy. Thank you for reading.
A/N: Title is taken from a poem by Sara Teasdale
MASTERLIST OF FICS HERE