Change (2/3) ; Yoochun/Changmin, Junsu/Changmin
Title: Change (Part 2 of 3)
Rating: R
Fandom: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Pairing(s): Yoochun/Changmin, Junsu/Changmin, Yunho/Jaejoong
Word count: 11 234
Disclaimer: The boys do not belong to me. This is also nothing but pure fiction.
Summary: One night spent in a 24/7 diner marks new beginnings for Changmin. The appearances of Yoochun, Jaejoong, Yunho and Junsu change Changmin's life of mundane normalcy as he finds himself rooted into the heart of a love triangle, and learning about what love really is.
.TWO
Two weeks later, Changmin moves out of the small apartment he has been renting and into the apartment Yoochun and Jaejoong are sharing. He has his part-time job working at the local library, and with some financial support from his parents, it is not like he is having a hard time paying the rent for his old apartment, but splitting rent with two other people means that he will have spare cash for other things.
The apartment has three rooms. Yoochun and Jaejoong have one room each, but the third is too small to be used as a bedroom. It is mostly filled with musical equipment and various instruments.
"We can share," Yoochun had offered when they were having a discussion about where Changmin would sleep, and for some strange reason, Changmin felt as though his entire body was charged with electricity when he nodded and agreed.
The first night Changmin moves in, Yoochun kisses him.
Changmin was unfolding the blanket when he heard Yoochun sitting down next to him on the bed. Turning around, Yoochun just grabbed his chin and pushed their mouths together.
After the kiss, Yoochun says goodnight, crawls into his own bed, leaving Changmin's thoughts and feelings in one tangled mess. When he wakes up in the morning, Yoochun is still asleep, his legs tangled in his blanket, his mouth slightly open.
Changmin's heart races like a runaway horse, and he spends a good ten minutes just lying on his bed, staring at Yoochun. If he stretches out his hand, he can touch Yoochun. He can still feel the burn of Yoochun's lips on his, the heat of Yoochun's fingers on his chin, and he can't help but think is this love?
Frustrated and confused, Changmin gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom. Halfway through brushing his teeth, someone walks in.
Changmin lifts his head and meets Yoochun's eyes through the reflection in the mirror.
"Morning," Yoochun says sleepily.
Mouth full of bubbles, Changmin makes a noise in return and Yoochun laughs.
Changmin gargles and spits, his entire body tense as he is uncomfortably aware of Yoochun watching his every move.
When he is done, Yoochun nudges him sideways and takes over the sink, picking up his toothbrush. Changmin reaches for a comb and starts to brush his hair, working through the mess.
Their eyes keep meeting through the reflection.
Changmin's heart feels as though it is going barge its way out of his chest any second. When Yoochun is done with brushing his teeth, he turns around casually and shuts the door, sliding the lock into place.
The second kiss happens, slow and gentle, Yoochun's hands on either side of Changmin's face, fingers spread apart like flower petals unfurling into full bloom, holding him tight. The comb Changmin is holding drops, unfortunately, into the toilet bowl, but neither of them could care less.
Yoochun breaks the kiss and looks intently into Changmin’s eyes for several long moments. “Are you going to run away?” he asks, and Changmin shakes his head.
“Good,” Yoochun says with satisfaction, and then he shoves Changmin backwards, until his back hits a wall. When he kisses Changmin again, it is hard and urgent. He rocks against Changmin, an addictive rhythm as his hands slide to Changmin’s hips. Changmin moans out loud and Yoochun bites down on his shoulder.
Someone knocks on the door. “Whoever is in there,” Jaejoong shouts. “Get out of there now. I need to go!”
“Fuck,” Yoochun says, reluctantly drawing away, unlocking the door and then pushing his way out. Jaejoong walks in and stares at Changmin, leaning against the wall, his clothes in disarray and his hair a mess.
His gaze settles on Changmin’s kiss-swollen lips. “Good morning,” he says calmly, as though he has not noticed a thing.
“Good morning,” Changmin echoes distantly before dashing out of the bathroom, feeling as though he has walked right into a maze from which there is no exit.
Changmin goes to work at the library, feeling rattled and confused. His co-worker asks him if he is sick, and Changmin shakes his head dazedly, sitting down at the counter. The library is relatively empty and Changmin passes the time by reading a book.
Once in a while, people will approach the counter to ask for help and all Changmin has to do is answer the questions that he can. Those that he cannot answer he directs to his more experienced co-worker.
"May I help you?" Changmin says, looking up from the book he is reading as a shadow falls across the library counter. The smile on his face freezes and then fades away.
Kim Junsu's jaw drops open.
"You," Changmin says, finding his voice first. How did you find me? he wants to ask. You stalker, he thinks balefully.
"I didn't expect to see you here," Kim Junsu says faintly.
Changmin wants to ignore him, but he will probably be fired if he is caught, so he settles for a polite icy tone instead. "How may I help you?" he asks flatly.
Kim Junsu shakes his head. "I can't remember what I wanted to ask," he says. "Look." He rests his elbows on the counter and leans closer towards Changmin.
Changmin makes it a point to move backwards and away from him.
"I'm sorry about what happened the last time - let me redeem myself," Kim Junsu says quietly. "At least let me buy you a drink."
Changmin crosses his arms. Kim Junsu squeezes his eyes shut and claps his hands together in a pleading gesture. "Give me a chance," he says imploringly and against his will, Changmin makes a strangled noise in response.
Kim Junsu seems to take the strange sound as a yes, and he opens his eyes in delight, breaking into a smile as bright as the afternoon sun. "Thank you so much," he says.
"Wait," Changmin says, standing up hastily. "I get to pick the place."
"Anything you want," Kim Junsu says, still grinning.
Changmin glances at his watch. "I get off work in two hours. I'll see you back here in two hours," he says, and meets Junsu's eyes with a challenging look on his face. If you don't come back this time, he thinks, and watches embarrassment flits across Junsu's face as though he can read Changmin's mind.
"I'll be back in two hours," Junsu promises, and flashes Changmin another grin before running out the front door, coming and going like a hurricane.
Changmin thinks of Yoochun, and recalls Junsu's smile, and drops his head into his hands. I don't need this now, he decides, and calls Jaejoong to tell him he had better be at work today, because someone special will be going to watch him perform.
True to his promise, Junsu turns up two hours later.
“Let’s go,” Changmin says when he sees Junsu.
When Changmin turns up at the bar with Junsu, Jaejoong shrieks with excitement. He drags Junsu to a corner, his mouth moving nonstop and Junsu looking a little confused, but mostly amused.
“Who’s that?” Yoochun asks, inclining his head towards Junsu after coming up to Changmin and handing one of the two glasses of cocktails he is holding.
“Alcohol before dinner?” Changmin asks, taking the glass offered.
“Who cares?” Yoochun shrugs, drinking from his glass and urging Changmin to do the same. They walk over to join Junsu and Jaejoong.
“And this is?” Junsu asks, interrupting Jaejoong’s stream of talk, looking at Yoochun and smiling.
Yoochun drapes a possessive arm over Changmin’s shoulders and grins. “Changmin’s boyfriend,” he announces.
“He’s just joking,” Changmin tells Junsu, embarrassment making a blush rise to his cheeks. Yoochun laughs at his response.
While Jaejoong takes the stage, Yoochun and Junsu start a deep conversation about music that Changmin does not understand. He sits on the bar stool, sipping his cocktail and listening to Jaejoong sing instead.
Halfway through Jaejoong’s third song, Junsu stands up. “I have to go,” he says apologetically. “I have a schedule tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Changmin says, handing his glass over to Yoochun. “I’ll just be a minute,” he tells Yoochun, who nods. As Changmin leaves, he sees a woman approach Yoochun, smiling suggestively. He wonders if there will be a day when this will not happen, and he wishes half-heartedly that Yoochun would be a little less attractive to men and women alike.
Outside, Changmin turns to Junsu. “There’s one thing you can do to redeem yourself,” he says.
Junsu raises an eyebrow.
“You know that Yoochun writes songs, right?” Changmin says, and Junsu nods. “He’s been trying to sell a song for ages. If you would recommend him, or just listen to some of his songs - ”
“I will,” Junsu interrupts and smiles. “Don’t worry about it. If he really is good, it won’t be a problem.”
Changmin smiles back. “Thank you.”
“Is he really your boyfriend?” Junsu asks curiously.
Changmin hesitates before shaking his head.
“Then can I see you again?” Junsu asks, still smiling. “Or will I be slaughtered for even suggesting it?”
“I’ll consider it,” Changmin says sagely. Junsu’s smile is contagious.
“Changmin,” someone calls, and it is Yoochun, who is holding the door open behind him. “Want to go for dinner?” Yoochun asks brightly.
“Okay,” Changmin says and when he turns back to say goodbye to Junsu, Junsu is already walking away. Changmin stares at Junsu’s retreating back for a few moments, and then turns around to face Yoochun. “Let’s go,” he says, slipping his hand into the familiar warmth of Yoochun’s.
Three days later, it is about four in the afternoon when Yoochun calls Changmin at work. The library is mostly empty, save for a handful of students and three or four other people browsing at the shelves.
"When do you get off from your date with the Dewey Decimal system?" Yoochun says the moment Changmin picks up, without even waiting for Changmin to say hello.
"I get off work at five-thirty," Changmin answers.
"I'll come by and pick you up," Yoochun says, and there's a smile in his voice. "I'm taking you out to dinner."
"You're joking," Changmin laughs, spinning around in his chair, until he sees his co-worker glance disapprovingly at him. “When do you ever pay for dinner?”
"I'm not joking," Yoochun insists. "I sold it," he says, sounding accomplished. "A song.” And then he names Junsu’s company. “And they even hinted at wanting to work with me more in the future,” he adds proudly.
“That’s great,” Changmin says. “Do I get to pick a place?”
“No,” Yoochun says, laughing. “You’ll just pick some ridiculously expensive place on purpose.”
After hanging up, Changmin returns to his book, still smiling. He wonders if that fact that he is looking forward to dinner means something about how he really feels about Yoochun.
At five o’clock, his phone rings again. It is a number that he does not recognize.
"Can we meet?" Junsu's voice.
"I'm actually busy tonight," Changmin says, holding the phone to his ear using his shoulder as he rearranges the stationery in front of him.
"I need to see you."
"What about tomorrow? Yoochun is taking me out to dinner later, your company bought his song - "
"I know," Junsu interrupts him. Changmin frowns when he hears Junsu's noisy breathing.
"Junsu? Are you okay?"
"Please," Junsu says.
"Where are you now?" Changmin says, checking his watch. "I can spare fifteen minutes."
Thankfully, Junsu is not far away from the library. Changmin requests to get off work early from his co-worker, who agrees to cover for him. He contemplates whether he should call Yoochun and tell him about what is going on but decides against it.
When he finds Junsu, he is staring blankly into space, looking as though the world has ended. Changmin sits down next to him, and waits for Junsu to start talking.
"She broke up with me," Junsu says after a few seconds of silence.
Changmin blinks. “What?”
He hadn’t been expecting this. He bites down on his lower lip and desperately tries to come up with an appropriate response, but the only thought ringing through his mind is - he likes girls, Shim Changmin, he likes girls, you idiot.
Junsu continues talking, even though Changmin has not the faintest idea what Junsu is going on about, completely preoccupied with his own wild thoughts. "I rarely get off-days, you know, and today I got some free time so I wanted to meet her. I thought she'd be happy to see me. I mean, it's been so long, but she didn't look happy at all when I surprised her at her house. She let me in, made me coffee, but it was all wrong. I knew something was wrong. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, or something, but she wouldn't let me." Junsu draws a long shuddering breath.
Changmin is only half-listening. The other half of his attention is devoted to the part of his mind saying, he likes girls, so you get your mind out of the gutter, Shim Changmin, because he will never be attracted to you the way you are to him -
"She told me, sometimes I wish I wasn't your fan when we met," Junsu says quietly. "She said, maybe then you wouldn't take me for granted. I said, I never take you for granted, but she just smiled sadly at me. I told her, I just don't have enough time. I told her I was sorry and I promise to find more time for her, but she just kept smiling sadly and shaking her head. I asked for one more chance, to fix things, but then she said - she said what hurt the most. She said, Junsu, I'm not good enough for you."
Changmin watches helplessly as Junsu starts to cry. The other part of him that had been thinking about other inappropriate things finally falls silent, leaving Changmin feeling wretched and awkward.
“Hey,” Changmin says, patting him on the back awkwardly. “It’s okay.” He presses his lips together and then tries again. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.” The moment the words leave his lips, Changmin feels his ears burn with embarrassment.
Junsu cries for a few minutes, and Changmin just sits there, not knowing what to do. Nobody ever taught him how to deal with such situations.
Finally, Junsu draws in a long, noisy breath and sits up, wiping his face on his sleeve. “You have to go off now, right?” he asks Changmin, without looking up from the floor.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Changmin asks cautiously.
“I’ll be okay,” Junsu says.
Changmin chews on the inside of his cheek. “I’ll call you again tonight?” he suggests.
Junsu nods, and gets to his feet. He shoves Changmin forward. “Get going,” he says thickly. “Or you’ll be late.”
Changmin makes it back to the front steps of the library half a minute before Yoochun arrives.
“Why are you sweating?” Yoochun asks, staring quizzically at the beads of perspiration on Changmin’s forehead.
“I have no idea,” Changmin says, the taste of the lie metallic and bitter in the back of his throat.
Later, when they kiss, Changmin wonders if Yoochun can taste it. He wonders what Yoochun would think. After Yoochun falls asleep, Changmin walks into the kitchen and dials Junsu’s number.
“I’m taking you with me,” Junsu says, the moment he picks up.
“What?”
“On holiday,” Junsu says, sounding perfectly normal and not the crying wreck that Changmin was preparing to deal with.
“What?” Changmin says, completely lost.
“I need a break. I’ve already asked for two days off, and it’s nothing big, not overseas or anything - I booked a room in a hotel and I just want to get away for a while,” Junsu says, sounding fifty times happier than he was in the evening. “You can come, right?”
“You’re out of your mind,” Changmin informs him seriously.
“It’s tomorrow,” Junsu adds helpfully.
“You are,” Changmin repeats. “Out of your mind.”
“Don’t be like that, it’s only two nights,” Junsu says. “We’ll just be lazing around, and having a good time… unless you have anything important on for the next few days?”
“I don’t,” Changmin admits grudgingly. “But - ”
“No buts,” Junsu declares. “Pack a bag and I’ll pick you up at eight in the morning tomorrow. Give me your address.”
Feeling cornered, Changmin obediently recites his address. Once he is done, Junsu says “goodnight, sweet dreams, see you tomorrow” all in one breath and hangs up.
Changmin tip-toes around the bedroom where Yoochun is fast asleep, groping around in the dark for clothes and toiletries, throwing them into his bag. When he leaves the next morning, Yoochun is still asleep.
Changmin leaves a note saying that an emergency has come up back at home, and he will be gone for three days.
This lie tastes worse than the previous one, but when Changmin gets into Junsu’s car, Junsu has a wide smile on his face, and he is wearing the ugliest shirt Changmin has ever seen, and just like that, the guilt disappears.
Junsu spends most of the morning and early afternoon sleeping on the hotel bed, leaving Changmin to roam around. Changmin finds the pool and the gym. He takes a long bath, and dozes off on the bed next to Junsu while watching television.
When he wakes up, it is already four. He is starving. He turns sideways and hits Junsu mercilessly until Junsu opens his eyes.
“What?” Junsu moans, rolling over and pulling the blanket over his head.
“I’m hungry. We should have a huge dinner to make up for the lunch we missed,” Changmin insists, mustering his strength and tugging the blanket off Junsu. Junsu sits up and glares at him.
“I hate you,” Junsu says sullenly.
“I hate you too,” Changmin responds, dragging Junsu out of the room.
The first night, they have dinner, and only fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning after an entire night of watching movies that Junsu rented. The next day, they laze around in the room, both of them spending an hour each in the bathtub, ordering room service, and they only leave the room in the evening to get dinner at a nearby restaurant.
Changmin has never had so much fun bickering with another person, and twice, he catches himself staring at Junsu with his heart beating in his throat, in danger of escaping out of his control.
The two of them wander the streets after dinner, arguing about everything and anything, laughing and hitting each other.
A playful fight - at least that was what it started out as. The two of them, coming back to the hotel and chasing each other around the pool in the middle of the night.
Changmin has not felt so carefree in months. He shouts Junsu's name, and Junsu turns around, the distinct sound of his laughter permeating the cool night air.
"Be quiet," Junsu hisses, still smiling. "You don't want to be caught and thrown back into our room, do you?"
Changmin reaches forward, closes his fingers around the back of Junsu's t-shirt and pulls. Junsu yelps softly, his entire weight thrown backwards into Changmin. There is a moment when the both of them struggle for balance, and Changmin catches sight of Junsu's panicked expression. Just when Changmin opens his mouth to laugh, he is in the water, sputtering and choking.
He rises up to the surface, wiping the water out of his eyes, and finds himself face to face with Junsu.
Junsu blinks as water streams down his face. His hair is plastered to his head and his cheeks are flushed.
Changmin cannot help but notice the way Junsu's now transparent shirt clings to his body, and suddenly, he isn't shivering from the cold any more. A hot flush works its way from his neck to his face, and Changmin's heart is beating so loudly that he is certain Junsu can hear it.
Desire swells inside Changmin like a balloon, and he has never wanted so much in his entire life.
Junsu is scant inches away. So close, Changmin thinks dizzily. He wants to kiss Junsu, and he has to curl his hands into tight fists to cling onto whatever self-control he still has left.
You will scare the hell out of him, Changmin tells himself sternly. Junsu doesn't like you this way. He treats you like a friend. A friend.
And then Junsu ruins everything by tilting his head slightly, shaking the water out of his ears, giving Changmin a close-up view of his jaw and the line of his throat. Changmin's stomach clenches and he wonders if his mouth is hanging open as Junsu swallows, his throat working.
"Junsu," Changmin whimpers, and it comes out in a strangled gasp. Fuck it all, Changmin thinks, I can't handle this any more. I'll come up with an excuse - I nearly drowned and the water went into my head. I swallowed too much chlorine and went crazy -
Changmin is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse, because half a second later, Junsu is taking Changmin's face between his hands and pressing their mouths together.
Changmin kisses back, letting his hands wander to the back of Junsu's neck, his shoulders, his back.
Junsu grabs Changmin's hips underwater, and grinds against him.
Changmin's toes curl. He’s caught fire, and he has no intention of escaping.
"Changmin," Junsu says in between kisses. The sound of his name from Junsu's lips, raspy and breathless, makes Changmin moan. "Can I - please -"
Changmin nods, his mouth refusing to cooperate, completely incapable of forming words.
Their movements are sluggish in the water and Changmin sees irritation and impatience flit across Junsu's face. Junsu's grip on Changmin tightens, definitely going to leave bruises, and Changmin yelps as Junsu lifts him out of the water, onto the edge of the pool.
Junsu climbs out, dripping wet, pressing Changmin onto the ground and straddling him with ease.
The cold wind blowing across his wet skin makes Changmin break out in gooseflesh, and he is feeling so many things at once he is amazed he's still conscious - the cold from the slippery tiles beneath his back, warmth as Junsu's breath ghosts across his skin, and a fresh wave of desire as Junsu rocks against him.
"Junsu, Junsu," Changmin says, a mindless chant. His feet are dangling in the water, and he suddenly realises that they are lying beside a pool, and anyone can look out of a window and spot them.
Changmin sits up abruptly, and Junsu grabs onto Changmin, nearly falling backwards into the pool.
"What're you doing?" Junsu asks, trying to push him back down.
"Not here," Changmin says firmly.
Junsu thinks about, and gets onto his feet, pulling Changmin up with him. "Okay," Junsu agrees. "Back to the room."
Changmin trips after Junsu, who does not slow down for even a second until they are in their room. Junsu locks the door behind him.
Changmin knows that Junsu is reconsidering what they are about to do, and fear ripples up his spine - terrified that Junsu may change his mind and not want him anymore.
When Junsu finally kisses him, Changmin can taste his uncertainty. He wants to tell Junsu, it's okay, I love you, but he doesn't know how to say it without ruining the moment, so he reassures Junsu by brushing his thumbs gently across the skin under Junsu's eyes and hopes he understands.
"Junsu. Please," Changmin says. "Please," the only word that Changmin knows how to say.
Changmin has never realised how heavy and how solid Junsu is, until he is pressing Changmin into the bed, leaning forward into the curve of Changmin's back, licking the space between Changmin's spine and shoulder blade.
"God, too slow," Changmin chokes out, his hands making fists in the sheets.
Junsu's laugh is breathless. "Changmin," he says, and he sounds like he's about to cry. "Wait. Changmin. I - there's something I should - I - I like you. I like you even though I shouldn't. And I think about you all the time. And I even like it when you're being a pain, and being mean, and making fun of me. Damn it, I like your stupid adorable mismatched eyes when you’re smiling, and I - "
“Shut up,” Changmin says, and he tries his best not to cry. “Shut up, you idiot.”
Junsu draws in a long shuddering breath, burying his head into Changmin’s neck. “Can I?” he whispers.
“Yes,” Changmin whispers back. “Yes,” he repeats.
When Junsu eases into him for the first time, Changmin feels a painful stretch and starts to cry uncontrollably. It is awkward and sticky, and it hurts, but Junsu is kissing him all over, and whispering sweet, lovely, dirty things in his ears, and suddenly the pain fades into a dull throb and amazing sensations rock through Changmin’s body in time to the roll of Junsu’s hips.
It is over too fast, and Changmin has no time to gather his composure - he is sure that he looks terrible, tear tracks on his face and red-eyed. Junsu smiles at him, panting.
“Thank you,” he mouths.
On the table, his phone vibrates. Changmin crawls over, picks up his phone. It is a message from Yoochun, saying that he hopes that everything is fine, and I miss you, come home soon. Changmin starts to cry again.
Junsu rolls over and holds him. “I know you lied to me,” Junsu says, listening to Changmin cry. “About you and Yoochun.” Junsu hums in his throat soothingly, rubbing circles on Changmin’s back. “Changmin,” he says gently. “If you want, let’s just pretend tonight never happened.”
Changmin does not answer and Junsu says, “It’s my fault.”
Changmin shakes his head. “It’s not your fault,” he tells Junsu. “I’m okay,” he says, forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.” He removes Junsu’s arm from around him, pulls the blanket over his naked body and squeezes his eyes shut.
“Oh, Changmin,” he hears Junsu say. He pretends to be asleep as Junsu moves around the room, picking up clothes and going to the bathroom. When Junsu finally turns the lights off and crawls into bed, Changmin opens his eyes and stares at the darkness all around him until sleep claims him.
Back to Part 1
Continue to Part 3
MASTERLIST OF FICS HERE
Rating: R
Fandom: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Pairing(s): Yoochun/Changmin, Junsu/Changmin, Yunho/Jaejoong
Word count: 11 234
Disclaimer: The boys do not belong to me. This is also nothing but pure fiction.
Summary: One night spent in a 24/7 diner marks new beginnings for Changmin. The appearances of Yoochun, Jaejoong, Yunho and Junsu change Changmin's life of mundane normalcy as he finds himself rooted into the heart of a love triangle, and learning about what love really is.
.TWO
Two weeks later, Changmin moves out of the small apartment he has been renting and into the apartment Yoochun and Jaejoong are sharing. He has his part-time job working at the local library, and with some financial support from his parents, it is not like he is having a hard time paying the rent for his old apartment, but splitting rent with two other people means that he will have spare cash for other things.
The apartment has three rooms. Yoochun and Jaejoong have one room each, but the third is too small to be used as a bedroom. It is mostly filled with musical equipment and various instruments.
"We can share," Yoochun had offered when they were having a discussion about where Changmin would sleep, and for some strange reason, Changmin felt as though his entire body was charged with electricity when he nodded and agreed.
The first night Changmin moves in, Yoochun kisses him.
Changmin was unfolding the blanket when he heard Yoochun sitting down next to him on the bed. Turning around, Yoochun just grabbed his chin and pushed their mouths together.
After the kiss, Yoochun says goodnight, crawls into his own bed, leaving Changmin's thoughts and feelings in one tangled mess. When he wakes up in the morning, Yoochun is still asleep, his legs tangled in his blanket, his mouth slightly open.
Changmin's heart races like a runaway horse, and he spends a good ten minutes just lying on his bed, staring at Yoochun. If he stretches out his hand, he can touch Yoochun. He can still feel the burn of Yoochun's lips on his, the heat of Yoochun's fingers on his chin, and he can't help but think is this love?
Frustrated and confused, Changmin gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom. Halfway through brushing his teeth, someone walks in.
Changmin lifts his head and meets Yoochun's eyes through the reflection in the mirror.
"Morning," Yoochun says sleepily.
Mouth full of bubbles, Changmin makes a noise in return and Yoochun laughs.
Changmin gargles and spits, his entire body tense as he is uncomfortably aware of Yoochun watching his every move.
When he is done, Yoochun nudges him sideways and takes over the sink, picking up his toothbrush. Changmin reaches for a comb and starts to brush his hair, working through the mess.
Their eyes keep meeting through the reflection.
Changmin's heart feels as though it is going barge its way out of his chest any second. When Yoochun is done with brushing his teeth, he turns around casually and shuts the door, sliding the lock into place.
The second kiss happens, slow and gentle, Yoochun's hands on either side of Changmin's face, fingers spread apart like flower petals unfurling into full bloom, holding him tight. The comb Changmin is holding drops, unfortunately, into the toilet bowl, but neither of them could care less.
Yoochun breaks the kiss and looks intently into Changmin’s eyes for several long moments. “Are you going to run away?” he asks, and Changmin shakes his head.
“Good,” Yoochun says with satisfaction, and then he shoves Changmin backwards, until his back hits a wall. When he kisses Changmin again, it is hard and urgent. He rocks against Changmin, an addictive rhythm as his hands slide to Changmin’s hips. Changmin moans out loud and Yoochun bites down on his shoulder.
Someone knocks on the door. “Whoever is in there,” Jaejoong shouts. “Get out of there now. I need to go!”
“Fuck,” Yoochun says, reluctantly drawing away, unlocking the door and then pushing his way out. Jaejoong walks in and stares at Changmin, leaning against the wall, his clothes in disarray and his hair a mess.
His gaze settles on Changmin’s kiss-swollen lips. “Good morning,” he says calmly, as though he has not noticed a thing.
“Good morning,” Changmin echoes distantly before dashing out of the bathroom, feeling as though he has walked right into a maze from which there is no exit.
Changmin goes to work at the library, feeling rattled and confused. His co-worker asks him if he is sick, and Changmin shakes his head dazedly, sitting down at the counter. The library is relatively empty and Changmin passes the time by reading a book.
Once in a while, people will approach the counter to ask for help and all Changmin has to do is answer the questions that he can. Those that he cannot answer he directs to his more experienced co-worker.
"May I help you?" Changmin says, looking up from the book he is reading as a shadow falls across the library counter. The smile on his face freezes and then fades away.
Kim Junsu's jaw drops open.
"You," Changmin says, finding his voice first. How did you find me? he wants to ask. You stalker, he thinks balefully.
"I didn't expect to see you here," Kim Junsu says faintly.
Changmin wants to ignore him, but he will probably be fired if he is caught, so he settles for a polite icy tone instead. "How may I help you?" he asks flatly.
Kim Junsu shakes his head. "I can't remember what I wanted to ask," he says. "Look." He rests his elbows on the counter and leans closer towards Changmin.
Changmin makes it a point to move backwards and away from him.
"I'm sorry about what happened the last time - let me redeem myself," Kim Junsu says quietly. "At least let me buy you a drink."
Changmin crosses his arms. Kim Junsu squeezes his eyes shut and claps his hands together in a pleading gesture. "Give me a chance," he says imploringly and against his will, Changmin makes a strangled noise in response.
Kim Junsu seems to take the strange sound as a yes, and he opens his eyes in delight, breaking into a smile as bright as the afternoon sun. "Thank you so much," he says.
"Wait," Changmin says, standing up hastily. "I get to pick the place."
"Anything you want," Kim Junsu says, still grinning.
Changmin glances at his watch. "I get off work in two hours. I'll see you back here in two hours," he says, and meets Junsu's eyes with a challenging look on his face. If you don't come back this time, he thinks, and watches embarrassment flits across Junsu's face as though he can read Changmin's mind.
"I'll be back in two hours," Junsu promises, and flashes Changmin another grin before running out the front door, coming and going like a hurricane.
Changmin thinks of Yoochun, and recalls Junsu's smile, and drops his head into his hands. I don't need this now, he decides, and calls Jaejoong to tell him he had better be at work today, because someone special will be going to watch him perform.
True to his promise, Junsu turns up two hours later.
“Let’s go,” Changmin says when he sees Junsu.
When Changmin turns up at the bar with Junsu, Jaejoong shrieks with excitement. He drags Junsu to a corner, his mouth moving nonstop and Junsu looking a little confused, but mostly amused.
“Who’s that?” Yoochun asks, inclining his head towards Junsu after coming up to Changmin and handing one of the two glasses of cocktails he is holding.
“Alcohol before dinner?” Changmin asks, taking the glass offered.
“Who cares?” Yoochun shrugs, drinking from his glass and urging Changmin to do the same. They walk over to join Junsu and Jaejoong.
“And this is?” Junsu asks, interrupting Jaejoong’s stream of talk, looking at Yoochun and smiling.
Yoochun drapes a possessive arm over Changmin’s shoulders and grins. “Changmin’s boyfriend,” he announces.
“He’s just joking,” Changmin tells Junsu, embarrassment making a blush rise to his cheeks. Yoochun laughs at his response.
While Jaejoong takes the stage, Yoochun and Junsu start a deep conversation about music that Changmin does not understand. He sits on the bar stool, sipping his cocktail and listening to Jaejoong sing instead.
Halfway through Jaejoong’s third song, Junsu stands up. “I have to go,” he says apologetically. “I have a schedule tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Changmin says, handing his glass over to Yoochun. “I’ll just be a minute,” he tells Yoochun, who nods. As Changmin leaves, he sees a woman approach Yoochun, smiling suggestively. He wonders if there will be a day when this will not happen, and he wishes half-heartedly that Yoochun would be a little less attractive to men and women alike.
Outside, Changmin turns to Junsu. “There’s one thing you can do to redeem yourself,” he says.
Junsu raises an eyebrow.
“You know that Yoochun writes songs, right?” Changmin says, and Junsu nods. “He’s been trying to sell a song for ages. If you would recommend him, or just listen to some of his songs - ”
“I will,” Junsu interrupts and smiles. “Don’t worry about it. If he really is good, it won’t be a problem.”
Changmin smiles back. “Thank you.”
“Is he really your boyfriend?” Junsu asks curiously.
Changmin hesitates before shaking his head.
“Then can I see you again?” Junsu asks, still smiling. “Or will I be slaughtered for even suggesting it?”
“I’ll consider it,” Changmin says sagely. Junsu’s smile is contagious.
“Changmin,” someone calls, and it is Yoochun, who is holding the door open behind him. “Want to go for dinner?” Yoochun asks brightly.
“Okay,” Changmin says and when he turns back to say goodbye to Junsu, Junsu is already walking away. Changmin stares at Junsu’s retreating back for a few moments, and then turns around to face Yoochun. “Let’s go,” he says, slipping his hand into the familiar warmth of Yoochun’s.
Three days later, it is about four in the afternoon when Yoochun calls Changmin at work. The library is mostly empty, save for a handful of students and three or four other people browsing at the shelves.
"When do you get off from your date with the Dewey Decimal system?" Yoochun says the moment Changmin picks up, without even waiting for Changmin to say hello.
"I get off work at five-thirty," Changmin answers.
"I'll come by and pick you up," Yoochun says, and there's a smile in his voice. "I'm taking you out to dinner."
"You're joking," Changmin laughs, spinning around in his chair, until he sees his co-worker glance disapprovingly at him. “When do you ever pay for dinner?”
"I'm not joking," Yoochun insists. "I sold it," he says, sounding accomplished. "A song.” And then he names Junsu’s company. “And they even hinted at wanting to work with me more in the future,” he adds proudly.
“That’s great,” Changmin says. “Do I get to pick a place?”
“No,” Yoochun says, laughing. “You’ll just pick some ridiculously expensive place on purpose.”
After hanging up, Changmin returns to his book, still smiling. He wonders if that fact that he is looking forward to dinner means something about how he really feels about Yoochun.
At five o’clock, his phone rings again. It is a number that he does not recognize.
"Can we meet?" Junsu's voice.
"I'm actually busy tonight," Changmin says, holding the phone to his ear using his shoulder as he rearranges the stationery in front of him.
"I need to see you."
"What about tomorrow? Yoochun is taking me out to dinner later, your company bought his song - "
"I know," Junsu interrupts him. Changmin frowns when he hears Junsu's noisy breathing.
"Junsu? Are you okay?"
"Please," Junsu says.
"Where are you now?" Changmin says, checking his watch. "I can spare fifteen minutes."
Thankfully, Junsu is not far away from the library. Changmin requests to get off work early from his co-worker, who agrees to cover for him. He contemplates whether he should call Yoochun and tell him about what is going on but decides against it.
When he finds Junsu, he is staring blankly into space, looking as though the world has ended. Changmin sits down next to him, and waits for Junsu to start talking.
"She broke up with me," Junsu says after a few seconds of silence.
Changmin blinks. “What?”
He hadn’t been expecting this. He bites down on his lower lip and desperately tries to come up with an appropriate response, but the only thought ringing through his mind is - he likes girls, Shim Changmin, he likes girls, you idiot.
Junsu continues talking, even though Changmin has not the faintest idea what Junsu is going on about, completely preoccupied with his own wild thoughts. "I rarely get off-days, you know, and today I got some free time so I wanted to meet her. I thought she'd be happy to see me. I mean, it's been so long, but she didn't look happy at all when I surprised her at her house. She let me in, made me coffee, but it was all wrong. I knew something was wrong. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, or something, but she wouldn't let me." Junsu draws a long shuddering breath.
Changmin is only half-listening. The other half of his attention is devoted to the part of his mind saying, he likes girls, so you get your mind out of the gutter, Shim Changmin, because he will never be attracted to you the way you are to him -
"She told me, sometimes I wish I wasn't your fan when we met," Junsu says quietly. "She said, maybe then you wouldn't take me for granted. I said, I never take you for granted, but she just smiled sadly at me. I told her, I just don't have enough time. I told her I was sorry and I promise to find more time for her, but she just kept smiling sadly and shaking her head. I asked for one more chance, to fix things, but then she said - she said what hurt the most. She said, Junsu, I'm not good enough for you."
Changmin watches helplessly as Junsu starts to cry. The other part of him that had been thinking about other inappropriate things finally falls silent, leaving Changmin feeling wretched and awkward.
“Hey,” Changmin says, patting him on the back awkwardly. “It’s okay.” He presses his lips together and then tries again. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.” The moment the words leave his lips, Changmin feels his ears burn with embarrassment.
Junsu cries for a few minutes, and Changmin just sits there, not knowing what to do. Nobody ever taught him how to deal with such situations.
Finally, Junsu draws in a long, noisy breath and sits up, wiping his face on his sleeve. “You have to go off now, right?” he asks Changmin, without looking up from the floor.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Changmin asks cautiously.
“I’ll be okay,” Junsu says.
Changmin chews on the inside of his cheek. “I’ll call you again tonight?” he suggests.
Junsu nods, and gets to his feet. He shoves Changmin forward. “Get going,” he says thickly. “Or you’ll be late.”
Changmin makes it back to the front steps of the library half a minute before Yoochun arrives.
“Why are you sweating?” Yoochun asks, staring quizzically at the beads of perspiration on Changmin’s forehead.
“I have no idea,” Changmin says, the taste of the lie metallic and bitter in the back of his throat.
Later, when they kiss, Changmin wonders if Yoochun can taste it. He wonders what Yoochun would think. After Yoochun falls asleep, Changmin walks into the kitchen and dials Junsu’s number.
“I’m taking you with me,” Junsu says, the moment he picks up.
“What?”
“On holiday,” Junsu says, sounding perfectly normal and not the crying wreck that Changmin was preparing to deal with.
“What?” Changmin says, completely lost.
“I need a break. I’ve already asked for two days off, and it’s nothing big, not overseas or anything - I booked a room in a hotel and I just want to get away for a while,” Junsu says, sounding fifty times happier than he was in the evening. “You can come, right?”
“You’re out of your mind,” Changmin informs him seriously.
“It’s tomorrow,” Junsu adds helpfully.
“You are,” Changmin repeats. “Out of your mind.”
“Don’t be like that, it’s only two nights,” Junsu says. “We’ll just be lazing around, and having a good time… unless you have anything important on for the next few days?”
“I don’t,” Changmin admits grudgingly. “But - ”
“No buts,” Junsu declares. “Pack a bag and I’ll pick you up at eight in the morning tomorrow. Give me your address.”
Feeling cornered, Changmin obediently recites his address. Once he is done, Junsu says “goodnight, sweet dreams, see you tomorrow” all in one breath and hangs up.
Changmin tip-toes around the bedroom where Yoochun is fast asleep, groping around in the dark for clothes and toiletries, throwing them into his bag. When he leaves the next morning, Yoochun is still asleep.
Changmin leaves a note saying that an emergency has come up back at home, and he will be gone for three days.
This lie tastes worse than the previous one, but when Changmin gets into Junsu’s car, Junsu has a wide smile on his face, and he is wearing the ugliest shirt Changmin has ever seen, and just like that, the guilt disappears.
Junsu spends most of the morning and early afternoon sleeping on the hotel bed, leaving Changmin to roam around. Changmin finds the pool and the gym. He takes a long bath, and dozes off on the bed next to Junsu while watching television.
When he wakes up, it is already four. He is starving. He turns sideways and hits Junsu mercilessly until Junsu opens his eyes.
“What?” Junsu moans, rolling over and pulling the blanket over his head.
“I’m hungry. We should have a huge dinner to make up for the lunch we missed,” Changmin insists, mustering his strength and tugging the blanket off Junsu. Junsu sits up and glares at him.
“I hate you,” Junsu says sullenly.
“I hate you too,” Changmin responds, dragging Junsu out of the room.
The first night, they have dinner, and only fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning after an entire night of watching movies that Junsu rented. The next day, they laze around in the room, both of them spending an hour each in the bathtub, ordering room service, and they only leave the room in the evening to get dinner at a nearby restaurant.
Changmin has never had so much fun bickering with another person, and twice, he catches himself staring at Junsu with his heart beating in his throat, in danger of escaping out of his control.
The two of them wander the streets after dinner, arguing about everything and anything, laughing and hitting each other.
A playful fight - at least that was what it started out as. The two of them, coming back to the hotel and chasing each other around the pool in the middle of the night.
Changmin has not felt so carefree in months. He shouts Junsu's name, and Junsu turns around, the distinct sound of his laughter permeating the cool night air.
"Be quiet," Junsu hisses, still smiling. "You don't want to be caught and thrown back into our room, do you?"
Changmin reaches forward, closes his fingers around the back of Junsu's t-shirt and pulls. Junsu yelps softly, his entire weight thrown backwards into Changmin. There is a moment when the both of them struggle for balance, and Changmin catches sight of Junsu's panicked expression. Just when Changmin opens his mouth to laugh, he is in the water, sputtering and choking.
He rises up to the surface, wiping the water out of his eyes, and finds himself face to face with Junsu.
Junsu blinks as water streams down his face. His hair is plastered to his head and his cheeks are flushed.
Changmin cannot help but notice the way Junsu's now transparent shirt clings to his body, and suddenly, he isn't shivering from the cold any more. A hot flush works its way from his neck to his face, and Changmin's heart is beating so loudly that he is certain Junsu can hear it.
Desire swells inside Changmin like a balloon, and he has never wanted so much in his entire life.
Junsu is scant inches away. So close, Changmin thinks dizzily. He wants to kiss Junsu, and he has to curl his hands into tight fists to cling onto whatever self-control he still has left.
You will scare the hell out of him, Changmin tells himself sternly. Junsu doesn't like you this way. He treats you like a friend. A friend.
And then Junsu ruins everything by tilting his head slightly, shaking the water out of his ears, giving Changmin a close-up view of his jaw and the line of his throat. Changmin's stomach clenches and he wonders if his mouth is hanging open as Junsu swallows, his throat working.
"Junsu," Changmin whimpers, and it comes out in a strangled gasp. Fuck it all, Changmin thinks, I can't handle this any more. I'll come up with an excuse - I nearly drowned and the water went into my head. I swallowed too much chlorine and went crazy -
Changmin is saved the trouble of thinking up an excuse, because half a second later, Junsu is taking Changmin's face between his hands and pressing their mouths together.
Changmin kisses back, letting his hands wander to the back of Junsu's neck, his shoulders, his back.
Junsu grabs Changmin's hips underwater, and grinds against him.
Changmin's toes curl. He’s caught fire, and he has no intention of escaping.
"Changmin," Junsu says in between kisses. The sound of his name from Junsu's lips, raspy and breathless, makes Changmin moan. "Can I - please -"
Changmin nods, his mouth refusing to cooperate, completely incapable of forming words.
Their movements are sluggish in the water and Changmin sees irritation and impatience flit across Junsu's face. Junsu's grip on Changmin tightens, definitely going to leave bruises, and Changmin yelps as Junsu lifts him out of the water, onto the edge of the pool.
Junsu climbs out, dripping wet, pressing Changmin onto the ground and straddling him with ease.
The cold wind blowing across his wet skin makes Changmin break out in gooseflesh, and he is feeling so many things at once he is amazed he's still conscious - the cold from the slippery tiles beneath his back, warmth as Junsu's breath ghosts across his skin, and a fresh wave of desire as Junsu rocks against him.
"Junsu, Junsu," Changmin says, a mindless chant. His feet are dangling in the water, and he suddenly realises that they are lying beside a pool, and anyone can look out of a window and spot them.
Changmin sits up abruptly, and Junsu grabs onto Changmin, nearly falling backwards into the pool.
"What're you doing?" Junsu asks, trying to push him back down.
"Not here," Changmin says firmly.
Junsu thinks about, and gets onto his feet, pulling Changmin up with him. "Okay," Junsu agrees. "Back to the room."
Changmin trips after Junsu, who does not slow down for even a second until they are in their room. Junsu locks the door behind him.
Changmin knows that Junsu is reconsidering what they are about to do, and fear ripples up his spine - terrified that Junsu may change his mind and not want him anymore.
When Junsu finally kisses him, Changmin can taste his uncertainty. He wants to tell Junsu, it's okay, I love you, but he doesn't know how to say it without ruining the moment, so he reassures Junsu by brushing his thumbs gently across the skin under Junsu's eyes and hopes he understands.
"Junsu. Please," Changmin says. "Please," the only word that Changmin knows how to say.
Changmin has never realised how heavy and how solid Junsu is, until he is pressing Changmin into the bed, leaning forward into the curve of Changmin's back, licking the space between Changmin's spine and shoulder blade.
"God, too slow," Changmin chokes out, his hands making fists in the sheets.
Junsu's laugh is breathless. "Changmin," he says, and he sounds like he's about to cry. "Wait. Changmin. I - there's something I should - I - I like you. I like you even though I shouldn't. And I think about you all the time. And I even like it when you're being a pain, and being mean, and making fun of me. Damn it, I like your stupid adorable mismatched eyes when you’re smiling, and I - "
“Shut up,” Changmin says, and he tries his best not to cry. “Shut up, you idiot.”
Junsu draws in a long shuddering breath, burying his head into Changmin’s neck. “Can I?” he whispers.
“Yes,” Changmin whispers back. “Yes,” he repeats.
When Junsu eases into him for the first time, Changmin feels a painful stretch and starts to cry uncontrollably. It is awkward and sticky, and it hurts, but Junsu is kissing him all over, and whispering sweet, lovely, dirty things in his ears, and suddenly the pain fades into a dull throb and amazing sensations rock through Changmin’s body in time to the roll of Junsu’s hips.
It is over too fast, and Changmin has no time to gather his composure - he is sure that he looks terrible, tear tracks on his face and red-eyed. Junsu smiles at him, panting.
“Thank you,” he mouths.
On the table, his phone vibrates. Changmin crawls over, picks up his phone. It is a message from Yoochun, saying that he hopes that everything is fine, and I miss you, come home soon. Changmin starts to cry again.
Junsu rolls over and holds him. “I know you lied to me,” Junsu says, listening to Changmin cry. “About you and Yoochun.” Junsu hums in his throat soothingly, rubbing circles on Changmin’s back. “Changmin,” he says gently. “If you want, let’s just pretend tonight never happened.”
Changmin does not answer and Junsu says, “It’s my fault.”
Changmin shakes his head. “It’s not your fault,” he tells Junsu. “I’m okay,” he says, forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m tired, I’m going to sleep.” He removes Junsu’s arm from around him, pulls the blanket over his naked body and squeezes his eyes shut.
“Oh, Changmin,” he hears Junsu say. He pretends to be asleep as Junsu moves around the room, picking up clothes and going to the bathroom. When Junsu finally turns the lights off and crawls into bed, Changmin opens his eyes and stares at the darkness all around him until sleep claims him.
Back to Part 1
Continue to Part 3
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