ive love/loved him way to much for my own good
fgamer87: What happened?
Manderness: kicked
Manderness: jerry sent me a invite to watch him
Manderness: and it froze me
fgamer87: oh, ok
fgamer87: Nice phone..
Manderness: i love it
fgamer87: I know.
Manderness: its really pretty
Manderness: and blue glowy
fgamer87: haha
Manderness: he just called me baby wtf
fgamer87: *shrug*..
Manderness: - blink -
Manderness: ok hes scarin me with that cuz he just did it again lmao
fgamer87: Some guys just.. do that.
fgamer87: for no reason.
Manderness: hes strange
Manderness: hes the only person i asked out in my whole life
Manderness: and i got a no
Manderness: lmao
fgamer87: oh.. I'm sorry.
fgamer87: Why a no?
Manderness: i dont care
Manderness: he doesnt want a gf
fgamer87: hmm.
fgamer87: ok..
Manderness: i only asked him cuz he turned down this chick i knew but he didnt know i knew her
Manderness: and yea
Manderness: i wanted to see if it was her or if he was telling the truth
fgamer87: oh, ok
fgamer87: Did you really even want to date him?
Manderness: i wouldnt have minded
fgamer87: ok
Manderness: but not really
fgamer87: mmk
Manderness: if i really wanted to date him i wouldnt have asked
fgamer87: heh
Manderness: to afraid of rejection
fgamer87: yea..
Manderness: or i woulda been begging you
Manderness: lol
fgamer87: I think I'm going to end up going out with Vickie..
Manderness: mmk
fgamer87: and.. she's pushing me to areas of my life I haven't been before..
Manderness: ok
fgamer87: =/
fgamer87: I really hope that wasn't a tear.
Manderness: ..
fgamer87: Amanda.. I love you.. I always will.. You make me important in your life.. Those people are rare for me.. Do you really even have room in your life for me now?
fgamer87: You have so many male friends.
Manderness: i dont want you as just that .... i really need to fill a void ive had for too many years... and yea ... im ganna shut up .. its not important... as long as your happy
fgamer87: Is someone online really going to satisfy that?
fgamer87: What could I do as a boyfriend.. that I can't already do for you?
fgamer87: I care about you now.. you're important to me..
Manderness: but .. your going to be with someone else.. thats already killing me ...
Manderness: but ... i'll be fine... shit happens
fgamer87: Amanda.. don't do that..
fgamer87: Don't say that.
fgamer87: Don't pretend like that.
fgamer87: oh man..
fgamer87: I really didn't know you cared this much.
Manderness: im sorry?
fgamer87: No, no..
fgamer87: I didn't know I meant that much
fgamer87: .. to you.
fgamer87: Amanda.. talk to me..
Manderness: i dont know what to say
fgamer87: I'm sorry..
Manderness: you have no reason to be sorry
fgamer87: I don't like that I make you cry.. so yea..
Manderness: not your problem
fgamer87: I wish I could just hold you right now..
Manderness: im sorry if im depressing you
Manderness: this is my problem ...
fgamer87: Amanda..
fgamer87: Please..
fgamer87: Don't give up on me.
Manderness: i dont think i could if i tried...
fgamer87: I'm sorry that.. what I'm doing is hurting you like this.. You're one of the most important people in my life.. I'd give my life just to see you happy.. I guess that isn't much to say.. suicidal.. I'd give everything I had.. if it could make you happy.. but... I'm just so confused lately.
fgamer87: It's the same situtation here with Vickie.. And damn I'm not saying she means more than you..
fgamer87: I love you Amanda.. but I can't make everyone happy with one action..
fgamer87: I hate to see you crying.
fgamer87: I wish I could hold you and just make it stop..
Manderness: whatever you choose tim .. its fine... i can deal with it...
fgamer87: But there is nothing I can do outside of this stupid IM box.
fgamer87: ..
fgamer87: Am I just making it worse?
Manderness: no
Manderness: it cant get much worse
Manderness: crying is the peak for me... i dont cry
fgamer87: What kind of void do you need filled..?
fgamer87: Someone to always be there.. to love you, to care about you? Because I already do all that, and always will, no matter what.
fgamer87: God I'm making it worse..
Manderness: no
Manderness: i just ... that makes me happy really it does
Manderness: i dont even know
Manderness: i guess i just want everything possible
fgamer87: I'm sorry that I can't make you happy..
fgamer87: I know that I'm like the only thing that can..
Manderness: its fine..
fgamer87: I'm still here, Amanda.. I'm not going anywhere.. I'm still here with you and I will be here for you..
fgamer87: eh.
Manderness: yea...
Manderness: i know that
Manderness: thank you
fgamer87: I'll do my best to be the best I can be to you, Amanda..
fgamer87: I don't want you to be sad.
fgamer87: and don't say you're not.
Manderness: yea well .. i doubt thats ganna happen for a while
fgamer87: You doubt what's going to happen?
Manderness: me not being sad
fgamer87: Did I break up with you for no reason, Amanda?
Manderness: ... yes
Manderness: god i hate that kid ... he needs to not call me
Manderness: brb
fgamer87: er.. ok..
fgamer87: Amanda, ... Soon you may not have a reason to cry anymore. Goodbye for now.
Yahoo! Messenger: fgamer87 has logged out. (5/19/2004 11:27 PM)