Enough
exo // hunhan (onesided) // r // romance, angst // drabble 950 words
-i was just lying in my bed trying to sleep when my hunhan feels started running rampant. it was ridiculous. so instead of actually falling asleep, i started writing this in my head.
Luhan keeps Sehun at a distance. Physically close, but emotionally, more than a few eons away.
It frustrates Sehun. He doesn't understand why Luhan feels comfortable enough to wrap his lips around Sehun's cock, but not comfortable enough to tell Sehun why he and Wufan have been bickering so much lately.
Sehun is still young, and, foolishly, he believes that sex means love and love means sex. But why shouldn't he? That idea can be found everywhere, and sometimes Sehun thinks he finds it in Luhan's eyes, too, when Luhan thrusts into him and their hips bump together.
-----
Sehun's bed is so much colder without Luhan in it. Luhan always manages to find some excuse to sleep in K's dorm whenever Exo-M is in Korea.
Sometimes they don't even fuck. They just lay there and Luhan stares at the ceiling and Sehun stares at Luhan. Luhan has dark, long lashes and a nose that's just right for the rest of his face. His chin is a bit pointy and Sehun loves the way it contrasts with Luhan's softer features.
"Hyung?" Sehun's voice is hoarse. He doesn't want to sound whiny, but he doesn't want to hold back anymore.
"Hmm?" Luhan hums, eyes still focused on the ceiling.
"Do you ever miss me when you travel with M?"
Luhan turns and looks at Sehun. A small smile lifts his lips. "Of course." He runs his fingers through Sehun's bangs and watches as the hair falls back onto Sehun's forehead.
"You feel far away sometimes. Even when you're here with me like this." Sehun tightens his arm around Luhan's waist and pulls him closer.
The smile doesn't falter on Luhan's face, but Sehun thinks his eyes dim a bit.
Luhan moves on top of Sehun, fingers sliding underneath Sehun's shirt. When he feels goosebumps burst across Sehun's skin, Luhan ruts down and grinds their groins together.
Whatever more Sehun was going to say gets lost somewhere between bed sheets and two pale bodies moving against one another.
Sehun always wakes up alone. Luhan doesn't want to be held down. Sehun knows this. Luhan probably wouldn't be able to give himself to Sehun even if he wanted to. An entertainment company owns Luhan, so there probably isn't much of Luhan that Sehun could have anyway.
But Luhan continues to dangle his heart in front of Sehun's face. Maybe Luhan doesn't mean to, but the constant tease keeps Sehun up at night. No matter how many times he's failed, Sehun still likes to think that he can catch hold of Luhan's heart one day.
-----
Luhan doesn't cry. Not even in front of Wufan. So Sehun is more than surprised when he walks into the bathroom and finds Luhan huddled in the corner with damp cheeks and wet eye lashes. Sehun is even more stunned when Luhan doesn't run from him. Sehun reaches out for Luhan and pulls him onto his lap.
Sehun sees the broken boy hiding behind Luhan's eyes and Sehun just wants to know him.
Luhan doesn't sob into the crook of Sehun's neck and he doesn't let anymore tears slip down his cheeks, but Sehun still gets to hold onto him for a little while. They're close for once. Not close like they are when Luhan bites Sehun's shoulder, stifling a cry as he comes undone. They're just close. The distance is still present and it probably always will be, but Sehun is okay with this. He would never ask Luhan for more.
-----
They haven't kissed. Sure, Sehun has decorated Luhan's neck and hip bones with hickeys and love bites, but their lips have never actually touched. Sehun thinks a kiss might sum up all the words scattered in his brain about how beautiful he thinks Luhan is and how he wants nothing more than to hold Luhan for just a little longer than their current relationship allows. The temptation eats away at Sehun, but he knows better than to push those limits.
-----
Eventually, Luhan confides in Sehun. "Wufan doesn't like it when I hang around you. He Says I shouldn't distract you. That this is all hard enough for you because you're so young."
Sehun pulls Luhan into his arms and thinks of how right Wufan sounds even though he couldn't be more wrong. Sehun may never be more to Luhan than what he is now, but he can accept that. So there's really no reason for Wufan to make Luhan feel guilty. They all have more important things to worry about than Sehun's little crush.
Sehun does not confide in Luhan. He would be asking too much, expecting too much. Their relationship is all about straddling lines and Sehun wouldn't dare cross one for something as minor as a few hurt feelings. So when Wufan and Junmyeon scold him for not sleeping enough and not eating enough, Sehun curls into a ball, lying in his cold bed, and wishes that the proximity of two hearts could be as simple as the proximity of two bodies.
-----
"Do you hate me?" M is back in Korea and Luhan's eyes seem more dull than before. Sehun wonders what it could be, but he's missed Luhan's warmth and he doesn't want to give Luhan a reason to leave.
"No. Why? Did Wufan have a 'talk' with you again?"
"No. It's just-" Luhan plays with Sehun's fingers, eyes down cast on smooth hands. "I've been thinking about this - us - and I'm not very nice to you. I keep taking from you. Without giving much back."
Sehun slips one hand beneath Luhan's shirt and his thumb rubs slow circles on Luhan's hip. "Don't say things like that."
"But it's true."
"No," Sehun lies. "This is enough."
-i was just lying in my bed trying to sleep when my hunhan feels started running rampant. it was ridiculous. so instead of actually falling asleep, i started writing this in my head.
Luhan keeps Sehun at a distance. Physically close, but emotionally, more than a few eons away.
It frustrates Sehun. He doesn't understand why Luhan feels comfortable enough to wrap his lips around Sehun's cock, but not comfortable enough to tell Sehun why he and Wufan have been bickering so much lately.
Sehun is still young, and, foolishly, he believes that sex means love and love means sex. But why shouldn't he? That idea can be found everywhere, and sometimes Sehun thinks he finds it in Luhan's eyes, too, when Luhan thrusts into him and their hips bump together.
-----
Sehun's bed is so much colder without Luhan in it. Luhan always manages to find some excuse to sleep in K's dorm whenever Exo-M is in Korea.
Sometimes they don't even fuck. They just lay there and Luhan stares at the ceiling and Sehun stares at Luhan. Luhan has dark, long lashes and a nose that's just right for the rest of his face. His chin is a bit pointy and Sehun loves the way it contrasts with Luhan's softer features.
"Hyung?" Sehun's voice is hoarse. He doesn't want to sound whiny, but he doesn't want to hold back anymore.
"Hmm?" Luhan hums, eyes still focused on the ceiling.
"Do you ever miss me when you travel with M?"
Luhan turns and looks at Sehun. A small smile lifts his lips. "Of course." He runs his fingers through Sehun's bangs and watches as the hair falls back onto Sehun's forehead.
"You feel far away sometimes. Even when you're here with me like this." Sehun tightens his arm around Luhan's waist and pulls him closer.
The smile doesn't falter on Luhan's face, but Sehun thinks his eyes dim a bit.
Luhan moves on top of Sehun, fingers sliding underneath Sehun's shirt. When he feels goosebumps burst across Sehun's skin, Luhan ruts down and grinds their groins together.
Whatever more Sehun was going to say gets lost somewhere between bed sheets and two pale bodies moving against one another.
Sehun always wakes up alone. Luhan doesn't want to be held down. Sehun knows this. Luhan probably wouldn't be able to give himself to Sehun even if he wanted to. An entertainment company owns Luhan, so there probably isn't much of Luhan that Sehun could have anyway.
But Luhan continues to dangle his heart in front of Sehun's face. Maybe Luhan doesn't mean to, but the constant tease keeps Sehun up at night. No matter how many times he's failed, Sehun still likes to think that he can catch hold of Luhan's heart one day.
-----
Luhan doesn't cry. Not even in front of Wufan. So Sehun is more than surprised when he walks into the bathroom and finds Luhan huddled in the corner with damp cheeks and wet eye lashes. Sehun is even more stunned when Luhan doesn't run from him. Sehun reaches out for Luhan and pulls him onto his lap.
Sehun sees the broken boy hiding behind Luhan's eyes and Sehun just wants to know him.
Luhan doesn't sob into the crook of Sehun's neck and he doesn't let anymore tears slip down his cheeks, but Sehun still gets to hold onto him for a little while. They're close for once. Not close like they are when Luhan bites Sehun's shoulder, stifling a cry as he comes undone. They're just close. The distance is still present and it probably always will be, but Sehun is okay with this. He would never ask Luhan for more.
-----
They haven't kissed. Sure, Sehun has decorated Luhan's neck and hip bones with hickeys and love bites, but their lips have never actually touched. Sehun thinks a kiss might sum up all the words scattered in his brain about how beautiful he thinks Luhan is and how he wants nothing more than to hold Luhan for just a little longer than their current relationship allows. The temptation eats away at Sehun, but he knows better than to push those limits.
-----
Eventually, Luhan confides in Sehun. "Wufan doesn't like it when I hang around you. He Says I shouldn't distract you. That this is all hard enough for you because you're so young."
Sehun pulls Luhan into his arms and thinks of how right Wufan sounds even though he couldn't be more wrong. Sehun may never be more to Luhan than what he is now, but he can accept that. So there's really no reason for Wufan to make Luhan feel guilty. They all have more important things to worry about than Sehun's little crush.
Sehun does not confide in Luhan. He would be asking too much, expecting too much. Their relationship is all about straddling lines and Sehun wouldn't dare cross one for something as minor as a few hurt feelings. So when Wufan and Junmyeon scold him for not sleeping enough and not eating enough, Sehun curls into a ball, lying in his cold bed, and wishes that the proximity of two hearts could be as simple as the proximity of two bodies.
-----
"Do you hate me?" M is back in Korea and Luhan's eyes seem more dull than before. Sehun wonders what it could be, but he's missed Luhan's warmth and he doesn't want to give Luhan a reason to leave.
"No. Why? Did Wufan have a 'talk' with you again?"
"No. It's just-" Luhan plays with Sehun's fingers, eyes down cast on smooth hands. "I've been thinking about this - us - and I'm not very nice to you. I keep taking from you. Without giving much back."
Sehun slips one hand beneath Luhan's shirt and his thumb rubs slow circles on Luhan's hip. "Don't say things like that."
"But it's true."
"No," Sehun lies. "This is enough."