Toshio Saves the Thai Children

Jan 13, 2010 19:09

Title: Toshio Saves the Thai Children
Author: Redeim
Rating: PG13 for swearing and a kiss
Genre: crack. Pure, unadulterated crack
Pairing: KhunYoung, ChanHo;Taek-without-his-Bum (it makes him bitter)
Summary: A joke between a friend and I: WooYoung being obsessed with saving Thai Children so they don’t end up like Nichkhun, Golf, and Mike. Dedicated to imaginetears for constantly feeding my plot bunnies. ♥ The title is on as much crack as the fic itself.
Disclaimer: I own Thailand, therefore I own Nichkhun. :D No seriously, no offense meant, and everyone and everything is copyright their respective owners.
WARNING: this is my first time in the some odd years I've been on LJ that I'm using HTML version. I'm sorry if I fail at it. v.v; I'll make it pretty to the best of my ability. I just wanted cut to work. *cry*
-edit-OMG YAY. It's worked! 8D♥

It was a common known fact in WooYoung’s mind that Thai men were gay and bastardly. They became this way because Thailand had no issue with exposing sex to minors by putting them into brothels for foreign men to enjoy little Asian boys at cheap, Thai prices.
The Thai Prince, more commonly known to the band as the man who’s going to get an ass kicking from the magnae if he finds one more way to elongate the word “Italian,” would deny all “theories” WooYoung seemed to create about his home country.
So it’s by chance when WooYoung has to do an assignment for a class and finds out Thailand is so horrible you can adopt HIV positive children (because there’s just so many children forced into sex by STD-ridden perverts), he knows something must be done. He ignores all other information (such as having to be 25, for instance) and goes straight to his cheating, manipulative, act-cute-for-the-fans bastard of a boyfriend and aptly states, “Prove you love me by adopting a child with me.”
Nichkhun dropped the book he was reading onto their bed and stared at WooYoung like he had grown five extra heads and one of them was JaeBum. “Isn’t that a bit extreme?” He asked after about a minute long silence.
“No. Prove how serious you are about me by adopting a child with me.” WooYoung repeated, slower this time; his words were self-explainable, weren’t they?
“Where in the world did you get this idea? I would think something like ‘Propose to me’ or ‘let’s form a union’ or ‘let’s take advantage of Korea’s wedding laws and totally pwn the part where it doesn’t specify gender but just says ‘two souls will be bound in marriage’’ would come first.”
“Your California is showing through.” Taekyeon intervened, having been listening from the doorway since hearing a word sounding oddly similar to ‘an ankle biter little whiny brat’ being brought into the home.
Nichkhun looked at the Bostonian, “What the hell does that mean? Your Boston shows through every time you speak English.”
“Your Thai shows through every time you breathe.” Taekyeon snapped back, narrowing his eyes.
“Your-” Nichkhun began
“You’re blinding me Taekyeon hyung, what is it?” WooYoung asked, eying Taekyeon’s red pants, bright orange shirt, and shiny blue belt and hat (and let’s not mention the socks that matched it all).
“What is this I hear about you two adopting a kid?” Taekyeon asked, getting to the point.
“WooYoung went crazy, I think.” Nichkhun replied.
“No! Nichkhun can prove himself to me by adopting a Thai child with me.” WooYoung stated; why wasn’t this getting through to anyone? The Thai children had to be saved!
Nichkhun looked taken aback, “A Thai child? Why? Wouldn’t you want a Korean child?”
WooYoung looked to his ever-so-oblivious lover, “The last thing this world needs is another You or Mike. I will save the Thai children, and raise them in a better upbringing than child pornography and red light districts.”
Nichkhun stood up and leaned himself against a wall closer to WooYoung. “You do realize that’s not all that’s in Thailand, right?”
WooYoung shook his head, “Beaches, wow. The percent of the children who are stuck in brothels instead of playing on the beach in your country is depressing.” He accused.
Taekyeon laughed and began walking off, “Finalize all plans with JYP Hyung.”
Nichkhun rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on from another one of WooYoung’s crazy plots to save the world-starting with Thailand.
“Please Nichkhun, just one.” WooYoung begged.
“Is there rules we’d have to follow? Age limit?”
“We have to be fifteen years older than the child, and 25.” WooYoung stated.
“Well, neither of us are 25, we’ll just have to wait.” Nichkhun stated, dropping it for the time being.

“Khunnie, take me with you.” WooYoung begged as his boyfriend was getting ready for another trip to Thailand.
“What for? It’s just a promotional thing.” Nichkhun replied with a frown, packing some of his summer clothes to prepare for the tropical weather. He looked forward to only having to put on one layer of clothes again.
“I want to see what it’s like there.” WooYoung stated simply.
Nichkhun sighed; WooYoung had dropped the adoption thing a couple weeks ago. “Fine, get ready, I’m leaving soon. We’ll be gone for a week, and I think we get to snorkel.”
“But, Khunnie, its February.”
“It’s Thailand. You can snorkel year round.”

Once on Thai ground, WooYoung bid Nichkhun goodbye for his promotional activities and wandered around, enjoying the sites of the market and other things he didn’t get to enjoy when 2PM was there for activities.
While wandering back to the hotel, a dark alley caught his attention; not because it looked like something out of a horror movie, but because of the little boy standing just outside the shadows, looking slightly lost and afraid. He went over to the boy, “sawadeekraup.” He told the boy in his best Thai. The boy looked at him, and then to a man he just noticed looming further in the shadows.
“500 Baht.” The man said in accented English.
“For this boy?” WooYoung returned in his own accented English.
The man nodded.
“How about I take him forever, how much?” WooYoung asked the man.
The man thought about it for a little while, then responded, “40 thousand Baht.”
WooYoung pulled out all the money he had for this trip and didn’t know whether to grin or frown; he had exactly 40 thousand Baht. He handed it to the man and took the boy’s hand. “I’m daddy now, okay?” He told the boy.
The boy in return just blinked at him.

Once back at the hotel room, WooYoung tried to get answers out of the boy. “I am WooYoung. You are?”
The boy blinked at him again.
“Me, WooYoung, you?” WooYoung tried again.
The boy once again remained silent.
At that moment, Nichkhun came in.
“Khunnie! I need you, I’m glad you’re here.” WooYoung rambled.
Nichkhun looked frozen as he stared at the child and the child returned the stare. “WooYoungie, who is this?”
“Our son. Anyway, I need you to ask him his name, age, where his parents are, and how long he’d been on the streets, and also-“
“You took a boy off the street?” Nichkhun clarified.
“No, I paid for him. He was with a pervert who was selling him for money. Anyway, can you ask him-“
“You… Bought a child off the street, and brought him back here and you are calling him your-no our son?”
“Yes, now, can you please ask him his name, age, where his parents are, and how long he’s been on the street?” WooYoung asked his boyfriend-turned-translator.
Nichkhun cleared his throat and approached the boy.
The boy looked up at him with wide eyes, and Nichkhun swore the kid looked like a young version of himself.
“What-“ He began, but got cut off.
“Are you going to hurt me?” The boy asked, tears forming in his eyes.
Nichkhun widens his eyes, “No, no, we won’t hurt you.” He promised the boy, his heart instantly melting for this child that was at least 20 times more adorable than him. “What’s your name?”
“Chanikhun. But momma used to call me Pecan.” The little boy replied.
“What happened to your parents?” Nichkhun asked, the name was weird, but he knew WooYoung would adore the nickname the little boy had.
“I don’t know. I went to the market with momma and got lost. I went back to the parking lot and couldn’t find the car anymore.” Pecan explained.
“How old are you?” Nichkhun continued, going over the questions he was told to ask.
“Five and half.”
Last question, “How long were you on the streets?
“I don’t know. A year? I was four when I lost momma.” Pecan told him.
WooYoung looked on curiously.
Nichkhun turned to his boyfriend and relayed all the information to him.
“Oh you poor boy! No one will hurt you again!” WooYoung promised, going to the young boy and enveloping him in a hug. “Your Korean name can be PiKan.” He added happily.

“His name is what?” Taekyeon asked, one of four people staring at the shy, scared boy hiding behind his “fathers.”
“Pecan. It’s a Thai thing. Give the kid a long name to sound more royal, and then a silly or stupid nickname so the spirits or something don’t steal the child.” Nichkhun explained, and then shook his head, “Old belief.” He answered again.
“Can he speak Korean?” JunHo asked.
“He’s learning,” WooYoung replied, the smile never leaving his face.
Nichkhun felt a tug on his pant leg, “Pi-chai*, are they my new customers?” Pecan asked.
Nichkhun had never wanted to curse and cuddle something at the same time more than that moment. “No, they’re your uncles, Pecan.” He told the child simply.
“What did he ask?” WooYoung asked his boyfriend curiously.
“Where he was going to sleep,” Nichkhun lied.
“You’ll stay in our room, of course!” WooYoung told him excitedly.
“You two are moving out to be a married couple in your own apartment, right?” ChanSung asked, not looking up from a game on his cell phone.
“Of course not.”
ChanSung snapped his phone shut and looked to WooYoung. “Hyung. I hate kids. I’m sorry, you leave or the kid leaves.”
“Or you and Junho can go off and live happily, sexing whenever you want without having to worry about hyungs being around.” WooYoung shot back, his smile never leaving his face.
That shut ChanSung up, especially considering he and Junho were known to the band as the “(Not-So) Secret Couple.”
“Pecan will be taken care of by Nichkhun and I. You guys have nothing to worry about.”
“He’s scary.” Pecan stated, looking at Taekyeon.
Nichkhun grinned, “Why?”
“I dunno. He’s so big.”
“What does this kid want with me? I’m not a babysitter.” Taekyeon frowned.
“Oh, don’t worry, he thinks you’re scary.” Nichkhun replied with a chuckle.
“So… Is he gay?” ChanSung asked.
“He’s five!”
“He’s Thai!”
“So what? You’re ItA~Lian. Does that mean you’re in the mafia?”
“Where’s my BB gun?”

“WooYoung, who is this?” Nichkhun asked, holding up a little girl with a giant smile on her face and a cookie in her hands.
“Our new daughter,” WooYoung replied happily, giving Pecan his book bag as the little boy went off to his third day of Kindergarten. “Be safe Pecan, look both ways before crossing the street.” He called after the young boy.
“WooYoung, I haven’t even taken you to Thailand recently. How did we end up with five more kids?” Nichkhun asked, shaking his head as he tried to figure out this dilemma.
“Six, actually.” WooYoung corrected, pointing to a baby in a back carrier.
“WooYoung…” Nichkhun began, his voice a low growl.
“I went last weekend and found some more kids, but they’re travelling here on their own, so we won’t get them until next weekend.” WooYoung continued.
“WooYoung…” Nichkhun repeated, his voice only getting deeper.
“So that will bring the total up to ten kids!” WooYoung exclaimed happily.
“WooYoung…” Nichkhun repeated, “Send them to an orphanage in Thailand, they’ll be-”
“NEVER. I got this one from an adoption center and the poor baby was getting starved!” WooYoung exclaimed, pointing to their three year old.
“WooYoung, you can’t save every kid in Thailand.”
“Well of course not, some of them have parents.”

There were a lot of things Nichkhun never thought he’d do. One being taking ten kids on a midnight flight to Thailand and putting them in an orphanage. He dreaded returning to the 2PM, in fear of what WooYoung would look like waking up with only Pecan next to him.
Nichkhun got a paper copy from the orphanage assuring the children would be given to good families and be properly cared for until they were adopted. Just in case it would help ease WooYoung’s pain. He also had a copy of the 45 thousand Baht check he gave to the orphanage to assure they were telling the truth on the paper.

“Nichkhun I will kill you.”
Were the menacing words Nichkhun was greeted with when he returned to Korea.
“Listen to me WooYoung. First, here.” Nichkhun began, handing WooYoung the copies, “those kids were only stifling our relationship and letting you hide behind eleven adorable faces. I get you don’t trust me because of what I did, but gathering children won’t help anything.” He told his lover, “I told you already, I love you. I’m sorry I used you and cheated on you, I really am. I accepted Pecan; but really WooYoung, we can’t be full time parents in this occupation. Please understand my reasoning. I love kids too, but I can’t do this.” He told WooYoung, desperate for the younger man to understand.
WooYoung looked at the papers for a while, a pout not leaving his face. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally looked up to Nichkhun, “Fine. But next time just say something about it.”
“I tried and you-”
“Shh,” WooYoung interrupted, placing a finger to Nichkhun’s lips. He looked into his lover’s eyes and moved his finger, placing a soft, gentle; ‘don’t-hate-me-because-I-know-this-will-totally-distract-you-from-being-mad-at-me’ kiss.
Nichkhun really wanted to hate WooYoung sometimes.

*That means older brother in Thai. Thai-reader confirmed it. :D
-I don't know how much Baht that is... Pretend it's around 500 for the 500 baht and around 4500 for the other one.

character: wooyoung, character: nichkhun, pairing: nichkhun/wooyoung

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