[Tales of the Abyss] When Vandesdelca Came to Town (crackpoem)

[inotebook]

When Vandesdelca Came to Town
a tale of epic heroism
The fundies came a'knocking, one dismal day in May;
They set their sights on mountains high, upon the site LJ.
To harbor not great criminals, they threatened and accused,
And site could only wrongly cry, "No choice have we,
Lest we become abused!"

To arms, to arms, the staffers went on that fateful day,
And came upon great Master Van, with young replica in play.
"Vandesdelca!" in outrage screaming, "For this we will not stand!
Your ways are those we do not condone!"
To which he said, "Well, isn't that just grand?"

He took a day to strategize, amassing forces great,
And on day two, he mobilized, prepared to rewrite fate.
To LJ, the march began, Oracle knights at his side.
As for the villains, none explained
How they should run and hide.

"You shall be Akzeriuth, with servers your Sephiroth,
And with this replica at my side, I'll send you to Qliphoth."
And, to that end, Master Van began his heroic plan.
He fought, and slashed, and won the bout,
He said, "This is the end."

Master Van was no great fool, and knew just what to do,
Even if young replica at his side could never have a clue.
His sword drawn, his commands given, he knew he had won,
And so the killing blow he dealt,
His work now nearly done.

Servers crumble, crash, burn, and down to tumble go,
And Master Van, victorious, glory did he know.
He won the day, came back strong and greatly did he vow,
"Fear not, my brethren, it is done;
The badtouch is back now."