[it's too much to hope that you're gone and not just too stupid to try the unlocked door and are now sneaking in from some bizarre new entrance you undoubtedly made yourself]
They've locked me--[lets the desk hit him but puts his hands up against the edge so Peony can't push it any further]--away since I'm so past my expiry date. Wouldn't want to spoil the other goods.
[at the worst possible time]
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[I see you are pressing up against my patio door like an idiot]
[I see that and I raise you drawing the blinds violently]
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Jaaaaaaaaaddddeeeeee
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[it's too much to hope that you're gone and not just too stupid to try the unlocked door and are now sneaking in from some bizarre new entrance you undoubtedly made yourself]
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Jade!
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Your Majesty. What a surprise.
[does not even twitch at the volume or the proximity. that last sentence was absolutely dripping.]
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Of course, of course! I couldn't leave my poor Colonel all on his own, could I? Especially after a thoughtful gift.
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[can't hear you. too busy inspecting walls and floors for STRUCTURAL DAMAGE CAUSED BY PESTS OF THE MONARCHICAL VARIETY]
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It was kind of a surprise, huh! Here I thought you were paying me a midnight visit, or something.
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[still busying himself with not going anywhere near Peony]
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[. . . has artfully barricaded himself behind a desk]
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... he says from behind a fort.
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