[08.] lonly and horny
[08.] lonly and horny
never go drunk karaoke with lu han, ever || lu han/lay || r || warning: dress-ups
It's not every day that Yixing gets a few drinks too happy, but when he does, it's always with Lu Han.
"Lu Han," he says, slurring the words. They're in a karaoke bar somewhere, and he's probably accumulated a billion angry missed calls from Wu Fan, but Yixing doesn't really care at this point. Lu Han grins back up at Yixing, all fluttering fake eyelashes and perfectly pink rosy cheeks (he's had a lot of practise with makeup--after all, all those years of bad anime cosplay weren't for nothing). "Lu Han, why am I--why are you--"
"Shh," Lu Han says, pressing his fingers to Yixing's lips. Yixing whacks him on the arm, and Lu Han strokes Yixing's face. "Darling, you are so beautiful and cute," he says, adjusting his antlers. "Now pass me the mic."
Yixing pushes Lu Han off, groaning. "Don't you try those pickup lines on me," Yixing warns, but he throws the microphone over to Lu Han anyway.
Apparently, Lu Han had randomly decided after dinner that a trip to the local costume store had been a good idea, and a few bottles of soju disoriented, Yixing didn't have the mental capacity to exactly protest. He'd walked into the store with his usual blue practise shirt and jeans, and walked out of it with a unicorn outfit, complete with a huge glistening golden horn that Yixing thinks maybe is dangling from the wrong part of his anatomy. Lu Han himself had chosen himself a ridiculous deer costume.
"You love it," Lu Han says, beaming.
"I should take photos so I can blackmail you later," Yixing mutters. "You look ridiculous."
"And you look like you've put the costume on the wrong way," Lu Han says. "Now choose a song!"
Karaoke with Lu Han is a taxing process. Lu Han's a bit of a mic hog. It's only three DBSK songs later (with Lu Han dancing the entire routine on top of the table, brandishing the tambourine) that Yixing's song finally comes on.
"Lonly, I'm so lonly," Yixing sings into the microphone. He's vaguely aware that he's butchering the English pronunciation, but with a sparkling rainbow unicorn costume on himself, it's not like he has any pride to salvage anyway. Lu Han snorts and pushes Yixing onto the couch, stealing the microphone away from him. "Lon--hey!"
"You suck," Lu Han says. "Hey, should we invite our lovely leader here with us? He could do better than that, and he doesn't do well at anything."
"But he speaks English," Yixing protests, throwing a cushion at Lu Han. He grabs the mic back from Lu Han. "Shut up and let me profess my loneliness!"
"What's there to be lonely about?" Lu Han asks breezily. He turns around, waggling his butt, and his stub of a deer tail wiggles in front of Yixing's eyes. "You have me!"
Now, if Yixing was sober, he would not be thinking about how good his best friend looks with a wig and a deer costume on. If Yixing was sober, he would not be thinking about Lu Han's rosy cheeks, or his glossy lips, or his fluttering eyelashes, and he certainly would not be reaching out and yanking on Lu Han's skimpy deer miniskirt tail to pull Lu Han down onto him so his unicorn horn is digging into Lu Han's crotch.
But he's not, so he does exactly that.
Lu Han freezes against him. "Yixing--"
"--I'm--"
"--fuck it."
Yixing registers somewhere at the back of his mind that this is a Bad Idea, but Lu Han's pressing his body flush again Yixing's, pulling the mane of Yixing's unicorn costume down so he can run fingers through Yixing's hair, and Yixing decides that it's a Good Idea after all. Lu Han's lips are warm and taste like cherry lipgloss. Yixing leans up, leans into the kiss, then Lu Han moves his free hand down to where Yixing's unicorn horn is dangling between his legs, cupping what's underneath, and Yixing groans, bucking up into Lu Han's hand.
"Horny?" Lu Han asks, smirk on his face. Yixing wrinkles his nose and hits Lu Han gently on the arm.
"Only for you."
never go drunk karaoke with lu han, ever || lu han/lay || r || warning: dress-ups
It's not every day that Yixing gets a few drinks too happy, but when he does, it's always with Lu Han.
"Lu Han," he says, slurring the words. They're in a karaoke bar somewhere, and he's probably accumulated a billion angry missed calls from Wu Fan, but Yixing doesn't really care at this point. Lu Han grins back up at Yixing, all fluttering fake eyelashes and perfectly pink rosy cheeks (he's had a lot of practise with makeup--after all, all those years of bad anime cosplay weren't for nothing). "Lu Han, why am I--why are you--"
"Shh," Lu Han says, pressing his fingers to Yixing's lips. Yixing whacks him on the arm, and Lu Han strokes Yixing's face. "Darling, you are so beautiful and cute," he says, adjusting his antlers. "Now pass me the mic."
Yixing pushes Lu Han off, groaning. "Don't you try those pickup lines on me," Yixing warns, but he throws the microphone over to Lu Han anyway.
Apparently, Lu Han had randomly decided after dinner that a trip to the local costume store had been a good idea, and a few bottles of soju disoriented, Yixing didn't have the mental capacity to exactly protest. He'd walked into the store with his usual blue practise shirt and jeans, and walked out of it with a unicorn outfit, complete with a huge glistening golden horn that Yixing thinks maybe is dangling from the wrong part of his anatomy. Lu Han himself had chosen himself a ridiculous deer costume.
"You love it," Lu Han says, beaming.
"I should take photos so I can blackmail you later," Yixing mutters. "You look ridiculous."
"And you look like you've put the costume on the wrong way," Lu Han says. "Now choose a song!"
Karaoke with Lu Han is a taxing process. Lu Han's a bit of a mic hog. It's only three DBSK songs later (with Lu Han dancing the entire routine on top of the table, brandishing the tambourine) that Yixing's song finally comes on.
"Lonly, I'm so lonly," Yixing sings into the microphone. He's vaguely aware that he's butchering the English pronunciation, but with a sparkling rainbow unicorn costume on himself, it's not like he has any pride to salvage anyway. Lu Han snorts and pushes Yixing onto the couch, stealing the microphone away from him. "Lon--hey!"
"You suck," Lu Han says. "Hey, should we invite our lovely leader here with us? He could do better than that, and he doesn't do well at anything."
"But he speaks English," Yixing protests, throwing a cushion at Lu Han. He grabs the mic back from Lu Han. "Shut up and let me profess my loneliness!"
"What's there to be lonely about?" Lu Han asks breezily. He turns around, waggling his butt, and his stub of a deer tail wiggles in front of Yixing's eyes. "You have me!"
Now, if Yixing was sober, he would not be thinking about how good his best friend looks with a wig and a deer costume on. If Yixing was sober, he would not be thinking about Lu Han's rosy cheeks, or his glossy lips, or his fluttering eyelashes, and he certainly would not be reaching out and yanking on Lu Han's skimpy deer miniskirt tail to pull Lu Han down onto him so his unicorn horn is digging into Lu Han's crotch.
But he's not, so he does exactly that.
Lu Han freezes against him. "Yixing--"
"--I'm--"
"--fuck it."
Yixing registers somewhere at the back of his mind that this is a Bad Idea, but Lu Han's pressing his body flush again Yixing's, pulling the mane of Yixing's unicorn costume down so he can run fingers through Yixing's hair, and Yixing decides that it's a Good Idea after all. Lu Han's lips are warm and taste like cherry lipgloss. Yixing leans up, leans into the kiss, then Lu Han moves his free hand down to where Yixing's unicorn horn is dangling between his legs, cupping what's underneath, and Yixing groans, bucking up into Lu Han's hand.
"Horny?" Lu Han asks, smirk on his face. Yixing wrinkles his nose and hits Lu Han gently on the arm.
"Only for you."