In Vitro 1/1
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1,200
Warnings: geekiness, speed-dating
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. It's a lie.
prompt by vambrace : in vitro fertilization
Summary: Jensen really sucks at this whole flirting thing. Good thing one person doesn’t seem to mind.
“You have thirty seconds to get to know each of the other participants. It’s not much time so make it count!” The host was young and blond and too bouncy for Jensen’s taste where he was grinning maniacally at the front of the room.
Jensen swallowed wondering why in the name of God he had let Danneel bully him into using the speed-dating voucher she had given him for his thirtieth birthday. It wasn’t like he minded being single. He was a busy man and he really, really sucked at flirting, so he usually kept his dignity and didn’t even try. This evening would probably end with nobody wanting his contact number and he would be depressed and go home to call his friend and tell her that she sucked. She should know that by now but he would make sure she didn’t forget.
His heart jumped into his throat as the bell rang for the first time starting the crazy mating ritual he found himself in. The first guy to sit down had a name-tag saying “Hi I’m Steve” and with a smile and an extended hand that Jensen shook tried to strike up a conversation.
“Hi, I’m Steve.”
“Yeah, I can read…” Jensen cringed the moment that frown crept onto the man’s face. This was him, always making the best first impression. Foot in mouth was his specialty.
Three guys down the line and Jensen felt like he should just get up and leave but that would be rude and his mother’s voice was telling him off in the back of his mind ordering him to suck it up and go through with the commitment he had entered into.
“Hi, I’m Jensen.” Another hand to shake and another name-tag to read and the guy on the other side of the table looked a little bored already, dear God!
“That’s a funny name… kinda girly.” The smirk made sure that Jensen knew that he was obviously not this man’s type.
“You think so, Angelo?” When was this whole thing going to end?
When Angelo, the stupid ass, as Jensen had mentally baptized him, got up to rotate to the next table Jensen sighed in relief until a large shadow fell over him. Oh dear… He looked up a little worried but was surprised by a large dimpled smile under floppy brown hair. It was sheer reflex that had him shake the guys hand as it was extended to him.
“Boy, you’re tall.” His mouth snapped shut immediately after the words left it. He really had cerebral flatulence these days.
Tall guy, “Hi, I’m Jared” as the name-tag read, had the decency to laugh instead of the wide variety of annoyance he could have portrayed. Was that a good sign?
“Yes, I’m a giant but you can call me Jared. So your name’s Jensen?”
“Yeah, hi!”
“So what do you do Jensen?” For the first time this evening Jensen did not feel like sitting through an interrogation. For some unexplainable reason he didn’t mind Jared asking the same kind of questions that made him cringe usually. Of course that didn’t mean that his answer wouldn’t be another brain fart.
“I make babies.” And did he really just say that?
For about half a second Jared’s eyes went wide in stunned silence, then a booming laugh burst from his chest as his face lit up with sheer hysteric amusement. “You do what? They did tell you that this is gay speed-dating, right?”
Jensen knew he was blushing like hell but he felt the need to explain himself before he was chalked down as a creepy psycho by the only guy he actually liked so far. “Yes, I know! I didn’t mean… I work at a fertility clinic. I’m an OB/GYN.”
The hysterical laughter resided as Jared cocked his head eyes scouting Jensen’s face. “Really? Wow, so you’re a doctor.”
Jensen nodded biting his lip and making a mental note that “I’m a doctor” sounded a lot classier than “I make babies”.
“Then you don’t make the babies, right? You deliver them.”
“No, I do make babies… and that doesn’t sound any better when I repeat it, does it? I do in vitro fertilization. I insert sperm into eggs and replant the embyos into women.” He cringed. This was going terribly. He was such a damn geek. Where was his brain-mouth filter that should tell him not to use the word ‘sperm’ within the first thirty seconds of a date?
“Wow, that… wow.”
“I’m sorry.” Jensen didn’t dare look at the man sitting across from him putting his face in his hands in shame.
Another laugh from Jared had him peak through his fingers at the - astonishinly enough still smiling - man. “Don’t be. This is the most interesting conversation I’ve had so far.”
“Really?” Jensen couldn’t believe his luck. Obviously Jared was only amused by his inept conversation skills.
“Really.”
“So what do you do?” Their time was almost up and all he knew about Jared was is name and the fact that he was really tall (and damn cute).
“I’m a…”
The gong interrupted Jared stopping their time together effectively. Jensen could feel disappointment grab him and his smile fell as Jared huffed out a sigh and got to his feet.
“Sorry. Looks like I gotta go on. Maybe I’ll talk to you later.”
He turned away making space for the next guy as Jensen said. “Yeah, maybe.”
*
Jensen stared at his card with the names of each guy he had talked to this evening and the one lonely cross he had made in the box that indicated that he had liked the person and wanted their contact number. He shook his head knowing that the chances of actually getting in contact with Jared were slim at best since for that the other man had to check Jensen’s box on his own card as well and someone as cute and funny as Jared would probably have a pick of any guy in this room. Still, there was nobody else who Jensen wanted to meet again and so he sighed handing the card to the host in quiet anticipation.
*
The message came two hours later when he was already back home. It was the miracle of new technolgy that didn’t need them to wait around awkwardly to see if they were rejected by the people they liked. Instead he got an e-mail. He stared at it for a long while before opening it letting his breath hitch as he saw the phone-number behind the only name he could remember from an evening of awkward dates: Jared.
He wasn’t sure how long he was staring at the open message before his phone rang. It wasn’t really late because the thing with speed-dating was that it was, well… speedy. Still he didn’t expect a call. He picked up the phone reflexively not even checking the caller-ID.
“Hello?”
“I’m an English teacher.”
“What?” Jensen’s mind was frozen at the sound of a voice he hadn’t expected to recognize but did.
“You wanted to know what I do. I’m an English teacher. I tried to come up with something witty and cool like ‘I make babies’ but the only thing coming to mind was ‘I work with dead dudes’ and I was afraid you’d hang up on me then.”
This time it was Jensen's turn to laugh.
*
*hugs* Birdie :)