as eager as I am to get out of high school, I'm more worried about college than I ever let on. not just getting in to where I want to go, but everything, especially leaving home. I'm scared to death about being away from my family, and my friends. the thing I have to remember though, is that I will always have my friends here, just a few clicks away.
I am questioning so many givens right now. I want to drop band to take a more important class, even though I'm one of the most gung-ho bandos in my school. I'm so deathly afraid of the seniors leaving as well, along with a friend of mine that's gone for a month. I love them all, and I don't want to go through a lonely and long senior year. I almost want to transfer to another school because of band alone...I really want to transfer to another family, another life completely.
I'm scared of being a Senior and having to leave my band family to go get a new one...not to mention a new "dad". Things aren't always easy for me and haven't been since I was little, but I've always found a way to deal and all that, and I wish for everyone I know to be able to do that, as well. Life's a scary thing...especially outside of the controlled school environment, and I have no qualms about admitting that I'm definitely scared shitless about the prospect of being out there soon
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