You can breathe, you can breathe now.
So, I saw that Jamie made an LJ entry addressing all of The Supremes, and even though I don't really consider myself one of them anymore, there's a lot of stuff I want to get off my chest. So I decided to make one too. And I'm leaving it public so everyone can see it.
Maria: You're my best friend in the entire world, and you know it. I love you more than anything, and it hurts me to watch you do such destructive things. Maybe I don't show it all the time, or maybe I just have a funny way of showing it, but I care about you more than almost anyone. Your smoking hurts me. It hurts me to watch you indulge in something that has ruined your life before, and will again. I feel like the only reason you failed this year was because you started smoking pot again and stopped caring about everything else--me included. It's not that I don't have faith in you. It's just hard, personally, for me to constantly put my faith in someone who always lets me down. I can't keep doing it again and again, I don't have it in me. But I think if there's one person who deserves the most out of life, it's you. You glow and you don't even see it. It makes me sad, honestly. But I try to do whatever I can now to show it to you. I know I haven't done such a good job, but I promise you, I'm trying.
Bridget: I'll probably never tell you in person, but I'm really sorry everything happened the way it did between us. I'm not sure when things went sour, but they did and there was nothing either of us could do about it. I did love you. I still do. I'm sorry for the way I acted before, and the shit I put everyone through, I honestly didn't mean it. But I want you to understand, words can hurt, sting, and break. Your words hurt me more than you will ever know and I really feel you crossed the line. A line I wasn't trying to toe. I know following in suit wasn't the best thing to do, but I can't take back what is done and neither can you. I just remember little things, you know? Crying together after that assembly, or staying up late at my house and playing Zelda. I remember good, real, hugs and smoking out in your backyard. Lmao, remember the time you dumped the ashes on your rug? It makes me sad to know I'll never experience times like that again...but that's the way things go. I guess I just have to learn to take them in stride.
Jamie: You and I have also had a rough past. But I honestly, don't hate you. I think, the reason I was so harsh with you, is because...honestly...you remind me of the person I used to be. And I hate that. I hated that person. Don't get me wrong, I love you, I just thought I was rid of that person for good. And instead of looking out for you, the way I should have and embracing our similarities, I lashed out at you. I'm sorry for that--I was wrong. If I could take it back, I would. It saddens me to watch you ruin yourself over depression. Depression hurts everyone--trust me, I know. I would do anything to take back all the pain I caused my friends--the pain I caused you. You're an amazing person Jamie, and I believe in my heart that you can do anything, you just have to start believing in yourself. It's a hard thing to do, and the odds are against you, but I know you can do it. I love you.
Danielle: We have a long history, don't we? I never thought that everything would bring us to this point. I've watched you grow into a mature, young woman and it stifles me. Sometimes, I just wish you could think for yourself and stop spouting lies to please people. I understand that you mean no malice by what you say, but you need to learn that you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try. It's easier to just be yourself and let the people who love you accept you for who you truly are, rather than trying to be everything for everyone. It hurts me to have to find out things you say or do from other people because I thought we were closer than that. I haven't always thought things through, and I know I have a tendency to spout off at the mouth, but I really do care about you. I always have, and I always will. Just remember that.
I guess, with that I'm done. Just remember, no matter what happens, we're still a part of each other. I love you.
Maria: You're my best friend in the entire world, and you know it. I love you more than anything, and it hurts me to watch you do such destructive things. Maybe I don't show it all the time, or maybe I just have a funny way of showing it, but I care about you more than almost anyone. Your smoking hurts me. It hurts me to watch you indulge in something that has ruined your life before, and will again. I feel like the only reason you failed this year was because you started smoking pot again and stopped caring about everything else--me included. It's not that I don't have faith in you. It's just hard, personally, for me to constantly put my faith in someone who always lets me down. I can't keep doing it again and again, I don't have it in me. But I think if there's one person who deserves the most out of life, it's you. You glow and you don't even see it. It makes me sad, honestly. But I try to do whatever I can now to show it to you. I know I haven't done such a good job, but I promise you, I'm trying.
Bridget: I'll probably never tell you in person, but I'm really sorry everything happened the way it did between us. I'm not sure when things went sour, but they did and there was nothing either of us could do about it. I did love you. I still do. I'm sorry for the way I acted before, and the shit I put everyone through, I honestly didn't mean it. But I want you to understand, words can hurt, sting, and break. Your words hurt me more than you will ever know and I really feel you crossed the line. A line I wasn't trying to toe. I know following in suit wasn't the best thing to do, but I can't take back what is done and neither can you. I just remember little things, you know? Crying together after that assembly, or staying up late at my house and playing Zelda. I remember good, real, hugs and smoking out in your backyard. Lmao, remember the time you dumped the ashes on your rug? It makes me sad to know I'll never experience times like that again...but that's the way things go. I guess I just have to learn to take them in stride.
Jamie: You and I have also had a rough past. But I honestly, don't hate you. I think, the reason I was so harsh with you, is because...honestly...you remind me of the person I used to be. And I hate that. I hated that person. Don't get me wrong, I love you, I just thought I was rid of that person for good. And instead of looking out for you, the way I should have and embracing our similarities, I lashed out at you. I'm sorry for that--I was wrong. If I could take it back, I would. It saddens me to watch you ruin yourself over depression. Depression hurts everyone--trust me, I know. I would do anything to take back all the pain I caused my friends--the pain I caused you. You're an amazing person Jamie, and I believe in my heart that you can do anything, you just have to start believing in yourself. It's a hard thing to do, and the odds are against you, but I know you can do it. I love you.
Danielle: We have a long history, don't we? I never thought that everything would bring us to this point. I've watched you grow into a mature, young woman and it stifles me. Sometimes, I just wish you could think for yourself and stop spouting lies to please people. I understand that you mean no malice by what you say, but you need to learn that you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try. It's easier to just be yourself and let the people who love you accept you for who you truly are, rather than trying to be everything for everyone. It hurts me to have to find out things you say or do from other people because I thought we were closer than that. I haven't always thought things through, and I know I have a tendency to spout off at the mouth, but I really do care about you. I always have, and I always will. Just remember that.
I guess, with that I'm done. Just remember, no matter what happens, we're still a part of each other. I love you.