Sound of happiness - lies
Title: Sound of happiness - lies
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 2,028 words
Summary: I didn't lie, why would I?
Note: Italics are lyrics, black italics are flashbacks.
It’s true that there are a few appealing parties. Come to think of it, I’m not lonely at all.
I was sitting still at the window seat located at this restaurant that we used to come frequently. He was sitting before me, emitting slight uneasiness through his eyes. The small dining table stationed in between us was holding a red envelope. Although the table was countless times larger than the envelope, the envelope looked heavy to shoulder, too heavy to shoulder that I thought the table was going to collapse.
“Congratulations.”
I wondered why,
“I wish you happiness.”
I had the habit to say,
“Hope you have a great future with your new family.”
Something that I didn’t actually feel.
“Thank you.” He curved his lips up a little, and tried to avoid my eyes.
“It’s been a year since we broke up.” I smiled. “Well, expected anyway.” I took a sip of the iced water filled in a crystal clear glass.
“Are you really okay with it?”
“Okay with what?” I feigned ignorance. “Why would I be the one who approves somebody’s marriage?”
“Somebody…” He mumbled.
“You know, I’m not going to stay single because of you.” I sniffed a little. “Live your life.”
-
There was always this fellow who swam in the swimming complex built beside the stadium that I’d always went for running every day. According to him, our meeting was coincidental.
“Are you alright?” He squatted down when he saw me kneeling down on the running track. “Can you stand?” I was blushing. “Can you walk?” Because the reason why I fell down was because, “There are scratches on your knees.” I couldn’t divert my vision away from him.
“Are you alright?” He asked again, and I was regaining back my senses. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, nope it doesn’t.” That was the first ‘lie’ I’d told him.
He laughed, trying to express that it cannot be alright at all.
He attended to my wounds. When he stuck his face close to me, carefully applying antiseptic lotion on my wounds, gently blowing them and looked up from time to time to see if I was really in pain, I felt that the world stopped revolving. Because everything seemed stationary, or maybe they were moving, only my brain had stopped.
-
“Hyukjae,” He held my hands when we were resting on a bench after our work-outs. “Why do you come here to run every day?”
I looked away and laughed. Few seconds later, I brought myself back and asked him back calmly.
“Donghae, why do you come here to swim every day?”
“To see you.” He replied straight-forwardly without any hesitation. “Well, not so obviously though.”
I was dumbstruck. Why wouldn’t he deny it?
“I love you.” Donghae rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered to my ear before blowing some air into it gently. I held his hand tightly, didn’t dare to budge an inch.
-
“You dated?” Donghae placed his cutlery on the table before lifting the handkerchief up. “After me.” He cleaned his mouth before continuing.
“Yeah.”
“Now?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Probably I was fooling around too much.” I laughed, pretending I was shy to reply.
I didn’t have any phobias or obstacles in life, please do not take that to heart. I wasn’t even weak; moreover that wound was just a minor case, love’s like this anyway.
Donghae dropped the glass that he was holding. I tried to pick up the shattered pieces, but ended up cutting my finger with it.
“Are you alright?” He grabbed my wrist tightly. “Wait a minute, I’ll go - ”
“I’m alright!” I smiled while claiming my hand back. “It’s okay.”
“No, I think I’ll go - ”
“I told you I’m alright!” I almost snapped, but I tried to withdraw halfway through. “It’s just a cut. I won’t die from it.”
Yeah, our break up was just a minor cut. I won’t die from it.
“But it’ll get infected.”
Oh, right… but what if it got infected?
“You’ll suffer more than dying.”
Really? Then I think the cut on our love… got infected.
“I’m…” I looked away. “Okay.”
-
I did not lie, why would I? You should have known me; I’d always been true to you.
“Donghae-ah,” I crawled onto the bed and hovered my body over his sleeping figure. “Wake up, it’s 4PM already.” I spoke softly while kissing his neck.
“4PM…?”
Nobody replied to Donghae.
“Please tell me the time again.”
“4PM.”
Donghae got up and pushed me away to grab the alarm clock.
“Why is it 4PM now?” Donghae stared blankly at the clock ticking at every single second.
“Well, I did wake you up earlier…”
“Why is it 4PM now?”
“To be specific, it’s already 4:05PM.”
“Have you run?”
I nodded my head with a grin.
“Why?”
“You have to miss your work-out today.” I shrugged.
Donghae lied back on the bed again and covered himself with the thick sheets.
“Hyukjae,” He beckoned me with his fingers. “Come in.” He lifted up the other half of the sheets.
“What?” I crawled in dubiously but I was pulled in roughly and was locked by his embrace.
“Come and do work-outs with me right now.” Donghae got up and sat on my hips with a smirk.
I laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Do it yourself.”
“You want me to masturbate?”
“Ew.” I was playing with his fingers. “Ew, ew, ew.” I threw his hands back to him.
“Hyukjae-ah,” Donghae brought his face down, facing right into mine. “I love you.” He licked my lips and kissed them. It felt weird - during that time, I could only afford to say that four particular words.
“I love you, too.”
-
Since when did I lie? Please do not presume that you are that unforgettable. I swear the smile I was giving wasn’t forced.
The both of us finished our dinner. We had our plates cleared and fresh water was refilled into our glasses. He stared at the envelope that I was holding, and he spoke again.
“Are you really coming?”
“Why not?”
“Are all these really meant nothing to you?”
“What about it?”
“We were in a relationship, a deep one.”
“So what?” Without processing those two words in my mind, I voiced them out with a slightly harsh tone. “We were, we were in a relationship. We were.”
He looked speechlessly shocked, but I couldn’t care less anyway. I felt this sudden urge to spill all my feelings out. I felt that my infection would vanish into thin air if I’d do that. I felt a lot inside me, I needed to vent them out, especially to him.
“You’re full of lies.” Donghae looked straight into my eyes.
I didn’t lie, why would I? So what if you couldn’t love a person you love? Stop saying that I’m lying, life’s already this hard. Some words are just meant to be unsaid.
“I wasn’t lying.”
“You were, you always are!”
I didn’t lie; love was the one who’s lying. It brought you into my life, lying to me that there will be hope in everything that you’d desperately yearned for.
“I said I wasn’t, didn’t I?!” I snapped. “I said I’ll wish for your happiness, didn’t I?! All my wishes were true. Everything was true - my love, my determination to let you go, my decision in leaving you, I told you we are already over, didn’t I?!” I inhaled. “Stop thinking that you’re my everything. Don’t think too highly of yourself. We could be in a relationship but we were total strangers before that damn relationship. To be honest sometimes I really feel that I shouldn’t go to that damn stadium, I shouldn’t be mesmerised by your face and fell and scratched my knees. I shouldn’t let you attend my wounds. I shouldn’t even meet you in the first place.”
“Hyukjae,” He tried to interrupt.
“If it wasn’t this damn love that lied to me in the first place, I wouldn’t even be here and trying so hard to make you feel at least one bit of assurance. I didn’t want you to feel burdened. I’d rather die from all these infections that love had gotten me into than getting you into the deep drab hole of guilt and uneasiness.” I paused, trying to gather more thoughts that were hidden behind my head. I was panting, my face was drenched and I wasn’t sure if the customers in the restaurant were looking at us. “Thinking back, we looked stupid. I’m relieved we broke up. I couldn’t put up with this love anymore. The more it lies to me, the more I’ll lie to you.”
“Our love isn’t lying.” He tried to hold my hand up, but I withdrew everything back.
“We won’t turn up good.” I looked down and cleaned my tears. “Live your life happily with your new family.” I got up, intending to leave.
“Hyukjae-ah,” I started running toward the exit when he called up my name, hinting that he was going to stop me no matter what happened.
It was pouring heavily outside and I continued to run until he successfully halted me.
“Hyukjae, stop running away.” He took a deep breath. “I got it.”
I turned and looked at him.
“Thank you for everything. I will take this chance that you’ve given me to live a better life.” Donghae stared into my eyes for a couple of seconds before he pulled me for a hug. “But just once, just once, can you tell me something true? We should end our love lies-free.”
“Donghae…” I howled. “I’m sorry, I love you.” That was probably the first time I didn’t try to convince myself that my face was wet due to the rain.
After the rain had stopped, the both of us were prepared to disinfect our love and bury it somewhere deep in our hearts.
I wasn’t lying about hoping you to be a blessed groom. Please… forget everything about me.
“Goodbye, I sincerely wish you happiness.” I smiled.
“Hyukjae, you might not know but…” Donghae smiled back, it was fairly genuine. “Your lies were my happiness.”
“Happiness?”
“I love the sound of your lies. Well, some of them.”
I laughed.
“Will you really come? For my wedding?”
“Yeah.”
And we parted.
I’m sorry Donghae, even though you said we shouldn’t lie since we were going to end our love, I couldn’t force myself to speak the truth for my last reply to you.
-
“Hyukkie, what are you doing?” I was surprised, but my agility told me that I should act faster before he realised it.
“Nothing! Just um, amending the holes on my underwear.” I smiled cheekily and pushed him out of the room.
“Why? Just buy a new one?”
“No, it has a great significance in me!”
“What?”
“My grandmother bought it from Mokpo.”
“What?”
“Just shut up and get lost.” I slammed the door shut before Donghae could get in.
God knew how Donghae managed to get in without me knowing. Donghae ruined everything when I was asleep.
“I thought I should put in some of my efforts in too since these are for the both of us.” Donghae tried to explain. “And it was completing so I thought I should give you a surprise by completing it.”
“The point is… it was going to be completed perfectly! You’ve completely ruined it!” I puffed my cheeks and turned my back to Donghae.
“Come on, it isn’t that bad right? At least we can still wear these if we grow fat due to neglecting our work-outs.” Donghae turned my body and spread his arms wide, showing the knitted sweater that he was wearing.
“Says who this is going to be yours?” I crossed my arms. “Take it off right now.”
“Aww, Hyukkie.” He pouted.
“Get lost.”
“Hyukkie,” He clung onto my crossed-arms and brought us to a mirror. “See we look compatible, don’t we?”
“No.”
Donghae laughed and planted a kiss on my cheeks. “I love you.”
I looked at every single little action of his through the mirror. I looked at him into the eyes.
“I hate you.”
A/n: A songfic referred from the song Telling lies by Yoga Lin. I think I kind of made this fic confusing - I'm confused myself too and Idek how do I start explaining. But if you have doubts (and you're even bother to know what this shit is about) please do not hesitate to ask n_n Also, as I've posted in my personal journal, I'll post all my fics here in the future :D Comments are absolutely welcomed and highly appreciated.
Note (bc slutkyu asked so I'll post it here too ^^): If you guys have realised, almost everything Hyukjae told Donghae in the last flashback were lies. From, amending underwear to knitting a sweater, from we're not compatible to I hate you. The lies Hyukjae told in the last flashback were Donghae's sound of happiness. And the lie Hyukjae mentioned before the flashback was that he'd go for Donghae's wedding. Hope these helped!
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 2,028 words
Summary: I didn't lie, why would I?
Note: Italics are lyrics, black italics are flashbacks.
It’s true that there are a few appealing parties. Come to think of it, I’m not lonely at all.
I was sitting still at the window seat located at this restaurant that we used to come frequently. He was sitting before me, emitting slight uneasiness through his eyes. The small dining table stationed in between us was holding a red envelope. Although the table was countless times larger than the envelope, the envelope looked heavy to shoulder, too heavy to shoulder that I thought the table was going to collapse.
“Congratulations.”
I wondered why,
“I wish you happiness.”
I had the habit to say,
“Hope you have a great future with your new family.”
Something that I didn’t actually feel.
“Thank you.” He curved his lips up a little, and tried to avoid my eyes.
“It’s been a year since we broke up.” I smiled. “Well, expected anyway.” I took a sip of the iced water filled in a crystal clear glass.
“Are you really okay with it?”
“Okay with what?” I feigned ignorance. “Why would I be the one who approves somebody’s marriage?”
“Somebody…” He mumbled.
“You know, I’m not going to stay single because of you.” I sniffed a little. “Live your life.”
-
There was always this fellow who swam in the swimming complex built beside the stadium that I’d always went for running every day. According to him, our meeting was coincidental.
“Are you alright?” He squatted down when he saw me kneeling down on the running track. “Can you stand?” I was blushing. “Can you walk?” Because the reason why I fell down was because, “There are scratches on your knees.” I couldn’t divert my vision away from him.
“Are you alright?” He asked again, and I was regaining back my senses. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, nope it doesn’t.” That was the first ‘lie’ I’d told him.
He laughed, trying to express that it cannot be alright at all.
He attended to my wounds. When he stuck his face close to me, carefully applying antiseptic lotion on my wounds, gently blowing them and looked up from time to time to see if I was really in pain, I felt that the world stopped revolving. Because everything seemed stationary, or maybe they were moving, only my brain had stopped.
-
“Hyukjae,” He held my hands when we were resting on a bench after our work-outs. “Why do you come here to run every day?”
I looked away and laughed. Few seconds later, I brought myself back and asked him back calmly.
“Donghae, why do you come here to swim every day?”
“To see you.” He replied straight-forwardly without any hesitation. “Well, not so obviously though.”
I was dumbstruck. Why wouldn’t he deny it?
“I love you.” Donghae rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered to my ear before blowing some air into it gently. I held his hand tightly, didn’t dare to budge an inch.
-
“You dated?” Donghae placed his cutlery on the table before lifting the handkerchief up. “After me.” He cleaned his mouth before continuing.
“Yeah.”
“Now?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Probably I was fooling around too much.” I laughed, pretending I was shy to reply.
I didn’t have any phobias or obstacles in life, please do not take that to heart. I wasn’t even weak; moreover that wound was just a minor case, love’s like this anyway.
Donghae dropped the glass that he was holding. I tried to pick up the shattered pieces, but ended up cutting my finger with it.
“Are you alright?” He grabbed my wrist tightly. “Wait a minute, I’ll go - ”
“I’m alright!” I smiled while claiming my hand back. “It’s okay.”
“No, I think I’ll go - ”
“I told you I’m alright!” I almost snapped, but I tried to withdraw halfway through. “It’s just a cut. I won’t die from it.”
Yeah, our break up was just a minor cut. I won’t die from it.
“But it’ll get infected.”
Oh, right… but what if it got infected?
“You’ll suffer more than dying.”
Really? Then I think the cut on our love… got infected.
“I’m…” I looked away. “Okay.”
-
I did not lie, why would I? You should have known me; I’d always been true to you.
“Donghae-ah,” I crawled onto the bed and hovered my body over his sleeping figure. “Wake up, it’s 4PM already.” I spoke softly while kissing his neck.
“4PM…?”
Nobody replied to Donghae.
“Please tell me the time again.”
“4PM.”
Donghae got up and pushed me away to grab the alarm clock.
“Why is it 4PM now?” Donghae stared blankly at the clock ticking at every single second.
“Well, I did wake you up earlier…”
“Why is it 4PM now?”
“To be specific, it’s already 4:05PM.”
“Have you run?”
I nodded my head with a grin.
“Why?”
“You have to miss your work-out today.” I shrugged.
Donghae lied back on the bed again and covered himself with the thick sheets.
“Hyukjae,” He beckoned me with his fingers. “Come in.” He lifted up the other half of the sheets.
“What?” I crawled in dubiously but I was pulled in roughly and was locked by his embrace.
“Come and do work-outs with me right now.” Donghae got up and sat on my hips with a smirk.
I laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Do it yourself.”
“You want me to masturbate?”
“Ew.” I was playing with his fingers. “Ew, ew, ew.” I threw his hands back to him.
“Hyukjae-ah,” Donghae brought his face down, facing right into mine. “I love you.” He licked my lips and kissed them. It felt weird - during that time, I could only afford to say that four particular words.
“I love you, too.”
-
Since when did I lie? Please do not presume that you are that unforgettable. I swear the smile I was giving wasn’t forced.
The both of us finished our dinner. We had our plates cleared and fresh water was refilled into our glasses. He stared at the envelope that I was holding, and he spoke again.
“Are you really coming?”
“Why not?”
“Are all these really meant nothing to you?”
“What about it?”
“We were in a relationship, a deep one.”
“So what?” Without processing those two words in my mind, I voiced them out with a slightly harsh tone. “We were, we were in a relationship. We were.”
He looked speechlessly shocked, but I couldn’t care less anyway. I felt this sudden urge to spill all my feelings out. I felt that my infection would vanish into thin air if I’d do that. I felt a lot inside me, I needed to vent them out, especially to him.
“You’re full of lies.” Donghae looked straight into my eyes.
I didn’t lie, why would I? So what if you couldn’t love a person you love? Stop saying that I’m lying, life’s already this hard. Some words are just meant to be unsaid.
“I wasn’t lying.”
“You were, you always are!”
I didn’t lie; love was the one who’s lying. It brought you into my life, lying to me that there will be hope in everything that you’d desperately yearned for.
“I said I wasn’t, didn’t I?!” I snapped. “I said I’ll wish for your happiness, didn’t I?! All my wishes were true. Everything was true - my love, my determination to let you go, my decision in leaving you, I told you we are already over, didn’t I?!” I inhaled. “Stop thinking that you’re my everything. Don’t think too highly of yourself. We could be in a relationship but we were total strangers before that damn relationship. To be honest sometimes I really feel that I shouldn’t go to that damn stadium, I shouldn’t be mesmerised by your face and fell and scratched my knees. I shouldn’t let you attend my wounds. I shouldn’t even meet you in the first place.”
“Hyukjae,” He tried to interrupt.
“If it wasn’t this damn love that lied to me in the first place, I wouldn’t even be here and trying so hard to make you feel at least one bit of assurance. I didn’t want you to feel burdened. I’d rather die from all these infections that love had gotten me into than getting you into the deep drab hole of guilt and uneasiness.” I paused, trying to gather more thoughts that were hidden behind my head. I was panting, my face was drenched and I wasn’t sure if the customers in the restaurant were looking at us. “Thinking back, we looked stupid. I’m relieved we broke up. I couldn’t put up with this love anymore. The more it lies to me, the more I’ll lie to you.”
“Our love isn’t lying.” He tried to hold my hand up, but I withdrew everything back.
“We won’t turn up good.” I looked down and cleaned my tears. “Live your life happily with your new family.” I got up, intending to leave.
“Hyukjae-ah,” I started running toward the exit when he called up my name, hinting that he was going to stop me no matter what happened.
It was pouring heavily outside and I continued to run until he successfully halted me.
“Hyukjae, stop running away.” He took a deep breath. “I got it.”
I turned and looked at him.
“Thank you for everything. I will take this chance that you’ve given me to live a better life.” Donghae stared into my eyes for a couple of seconds before he pulled me for a hug. “But just once, just once, can you tell me something true? We should end our love lies-free.”
“Donghae…” I howled. “I’m sorry, I love you.” That was probably the first time I didn’t try to convince myself that my face was wet due to the rain.
After the rain had stopped, the both of us were prepared to disinfect our love and bury it somewhere deep in our hearts.
I wasn’t lying about hoping you to be a blessed groom. Please… forget everything about me.
“Goodbye, I sincerely wish you happiness.” I smiled.
“Hyukjae, you might not know but…” Donghae smiled back, it was fairly genuine. “Your lies were my happiness.”
“Happiness?”
“I love the sound of your lies. Well, some of them.”
I laughed.
“Will you really come? For my wedding?”
“Yeah.”
And we parted.
I’m sorry Donghae, even though you said we shouldn’t lie since we were going to end our love, I couldn’t force myself to speak the truth for my last reply to you.
-
“Hyukkie, what are you doing?” I was surprised, but my agility told me that I should act faster before he realised it.
“Nothing! Just um, amending the holes on my underwear.” I smiled cheekily and pushed him out of the room.
“Why? Just buy a new one?”
“No, it has a great significance in me!”
“What?”
“My grandmother bought it from Mokpo.”
“What?”
“Just shut up and get lost.” I slammed the door shut before Donghae could get in.
God knew how Donghae managed to get in without me knowing. Donghae ruined everything when I was asleep.
“I thought I should put in some of my efforts in too since these are for the both of us.” Donghae tried to explain. “And it was completing so I thought I should give you a surprise by completing it.”
“The point is… it was going to be completed perfectly! You’ve completely ruined it!” I puffed my cheeks and turned my back to Donghae.
“Come on, it isn’t that bad right? At least we can still wear these if we grow fat due to neglecting our work-outs.” Donghae turned my body and spread his arms wide, showing the knitted sweater that he was wearing.
“Says who this is going to be yours?” I crossed my arms. “Take it off right now.”
“Aww, Hyukkie.” He pouted.
“Get lost.”
“Hyukkie,” He clung onto my crossed-arms and brought us to a mirror. “See we look compatible, don’t we?”
“No.”
Donghae laughed and planted a kiss on my cheeks. “I love you.”
I looked at every single little action of his through the mirror. I looked at him into the eyes.
“I hate you.”
A/n: A songfic referred from the song Telling lies by Yoga Lin. I think I kind of made this fic confusing - I'm confused myself too and Idek how do I start explaining. But if you have doubts (and you're even bother to know what this shit is about) please do not hesitate to ask n_n Also, as I've posted in my personal journal, I'll post all my fics here in the future :D Comments are absolutely welcomed and highly appreciated.
Note (bc slutkyu asked so I'll post it here too ^^): If you guys have realised, almost everything Hyukjae told Donghae in the last flashback were lies. From, amending underwear to knitting a sweater, from we're not compatible to I hate you. The lies Hyukjae told in the last flashback were Donghae's sound of happiness. And the lie Hyukjae mentioned before the flashback was that he'd go for Donghae's wedding. Hope these helped!