Leaves
Title: Leaves
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 1,618 words
Summary: “It’s not a leaf; it’s a wing, Donghae’s wing.”
Leaves are wings that aren’t able to soar; wings are leaves that had fallen onto the sky.
Sungmin gently tapped his fingers onto my left cheek; hands trembling with fear, afraid that my face would break if he had used the wrong force.
“Hyukjae, can you see me?” Everywhere on my face was bandaged, except for my right eye.
“Fifty per cent, Sungmin.” I tried to stretch my jaw, but it hurt for a moment. “I can’t see what’s on the left.”
“You,” Sungmin pulled my fingers. “You’d scared the shit out of me.” Something had emboldened him to hug me, that hug was so tight that I thought I’d break. Sungmin wasn’t thinking straight.
-
After a couple of therapy sessions, the bandages on my body had slightly decreased and loosened. My muscles felt less tense and I could feel that my six senses were coming back to me. Just like an elementary kid going to the school alone and coming back alone right before dinner, right before the correct timing.
“The doctor says breathing fresh air multiplies the rate of your recovery.” Sungmin pushed me right under the tree, deterring as much sunlight as possible from contacting my skin.
“What’s this?” I squeezed my left hand from time to time, only to hear faint crushing sounds from the action.
“A fallen leaf.” Sungmin looked down to me who was sitting on the wheelchair. “It’s all dried and old, throw that away.”
“Autumn’s here.” I smiled. “Autumn.”
-
During the nights, Donghae would come to visit. He had bandages around his right arm and his chest, face covered with some gauze, looking nothing serious - not really after you’d encountered the worse, or rather, worst.
“I have to go now; the nurse will blow up if she sees my bed empty again.” Donghae reasoned. “Rest well, I love you.” Donghae attached his lips onto my forehead for two seconds before he’d left.
-
Heaven - it initially wasn’t supposed to be an illusion, it’s just that, I’ve forgotten how to fly already.
Donghae loved car racing. He would usually drive me down to the countryside with his second-hand Ferrari.
“They don’t have any traffic lights here,” Donghae leant his back against the head of his car. “I feel like a bird flying in the middle of the air, and not being kept in the cage.”
“It really felt like flying.” I stood beside him. “I could feel the wind.”
Accidents happened, no matter how fast you’d soared, how fast you’d flew, the faster, the quicker you’d moved, the swifter accidents would come to you.
And then a crash had summarised everything.
-
Solitude is a person’s revelry, and revelry signifies the solitude of a group of people.
After my discharge, only a patch of bandage on my left eye stayed, the others, gone with the wind.
“Where’s Donghae?” I staggered slightly toward Sungmin, who was chatting away with another man who I’d assumed he went by the name of Siwon.
“Uh,” Sungmin paused and delivered weird glances to Siwon.
“Not discharged yet?”
“Uh, yeah, he needs to fulfill a few more therapies.”
“I see.” I then staggered back to my room, feeling nothing, thinking nothing.
-
During midnight after Sungmin had gone back with his friend, I sat on the couch that was placed in the middle of my living hall and stared at the television screen, as if I was trying to burn a hole with my gaze, my deep and long gaze. A thing or two twitched on the screen, nothing magical happened, they called this imagination, or illusion, or hallucination. They depended on situations, though.
Love - needed a companion of two; but I’m slowly, slowly forgetting how does an accompany feel like.
“It’s been two weeks, just where the fuck is Donghae?” I snapped at Sungmin.
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin grabbed my arm. “Listen to - ”
“Don’t grab my left arm!” I withdrew my hand back forcefully. “You don’t know how strange it is to feel without seeing anything that you’re feeling.”
“I’m sorry.” He started to sob, teeth grinding his lower lip.
Just when Sungmin was going to open his mouth again, his phone rang. He walked off to answer the phone, but ‘hello’, ‘oh, Siwon’, ‘haven’t yet’, ‘I’ll talk to you later’, could be vaguely heard.
“You’re busy,” I uttered right after Sungmin had hung up his call. “Go.”
“Hy -”
“Just go!” I threw him out of my apartment and slid my back down behind the closed door. I started to sob; I missed Donghae.
The night after, Donghae came by with a few knocks on my door. I opened the door and welcomed him with hugs and kisses. They felt too warm, too warm for the early winter.
“Where have you been?” I was dwelling under Donghae’s embrace; I turned back to my right and looked for his face.
“The therapies were kind of troublesome. And the package, the discharge, everything were dragged until now.”
“Sungmin didn’t tell me about it.” I pouted.
“I told him not to,” Donghae snuggled close. “You can’t worry about anything now.”
“But, I worry about you.”
“Don’t…” Donghae’s voice was getting softer; it was evident that he’d fell asleep after a few calls weren’t answered.
I eat and travel; stopping and going by alone.
I found myself sleeping alone on the bed when I’d woke up on the next morning. The anxiousness inside me grew, I was afraid Donghae would disappear again.
“Hae?” I rushed into the kitchen, relieved after seeing the figure that I’d hoped to see. “Hae,” I hugged him from the back, hands squeezing the chest area of his shirt. “I thought you’re gone.”
Donghae grabbed my hands and laughed while frying the omelette.
“Hyukkie,” Donghae turned off the stove and turned back to me. “Let’s have breakfast.”
-
“Rome?” I questioned before I could put a piece of omelette inside my mouth.
“Yup,” Donghae nodded. “You’d always wanted to go, right?”
“True, but…” I tilted my head and stared at Donghae dubiously. “Why so sudden?”
“Is it that sudden?”
“Yeah.”
Donghae laughed, “Maybe not after you left eye recovers, we shall have a simple vacation instead.”
“Will it ever recover?”
“It will, don’t worry.” He widened his lips and ruffled my hair.
-
Donghae and I spent the night snuggling away, smelling each other’s scent.
“Promise me,” I hid my head under Donghae’s jaw. “Always stand by my (right) side.”
“I won’t have to do that when your left eye recovers, idiot.”
“Then just do that for the time being.”
“Yeah, for the time being, I promise.”
-
Also, I read and write letters; having a conversation alone.
Donghae’s parents resided in Europe, so he had to fly there during New Year’s.
“I’ll write letters to you.”
“Pfft,” Despite Donghae’s seriousness was written all over his face, I just had to laugh. “I guess only cavemen write letters now.”
“But isn’t letter writing romantic?”
“I suppose so?”
“Let’s write letters.” He pressed his lips against mine before leaving for his flight.
-
Dear Donghae,
Days ago when I went for a medical check-up the doctor said I was recovering. He’d also mentioned that a week later I could remove the bandage on my left eye - to get it accustomed to the natural lights - he ordered. Who knows, by the time when you’d came back I could see you with both eyes again.
Donghae-ah, this is the seventh letter. When are you going to send me your first? You were the one who suggested in writing letters first; how sly of you, and now I’m left with nothing to write. I might be writing this in every letters I wrote but, I miss you. Reply me soon, I love you, Donghae.
Hyukjae
-
But where has my heart flown to? Even I, myself, couldn’t see it properly.
On the day before I could get the bandage off my left eye, Sungmin asked me out for lunch.
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin hesitated. “I’ve wanted to tell you this.”
“Ming,” I smiled. “What do you want to eat?”
“Hyukjae,”
“Pancakes? You like sweet stuff, don’t you?”
“Donghae, he - ”
“Ah, but waffles look yummy too…” I stole a glance from Sungmin. “Or shall we have pasta?” I continued studying the menu.
“Donghae’s dead.”
I said nothing; eyes were still on the menu.
“He died in that accident, the one that had you involved.”
“Lies.” I tried to smile. “Sungmin, cut the joke.”
“His parents sent these to me.” He placed the seven letters I’d sent on the table. “They had presumed you didn’t know about Donghae’s death so they sent them back to me, just in case.”
“Lies,” I shook my head, vision lost in a deep, drab abyss. “Donghae came back didn’t he? He’d asked you to pull this ‘joke’ on me didn’t he? God, it’s not even funny.” I thought for a moment. “Where’s he? Is he here?” I tried to find Donghae on the empty seat to my left. “I told him not to stand at a place where I can’t see him, that bastard.”
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin called up.
“Donghae, where are you?” I stood up, turning around to the left. “Stop hiding!”
“Hyukjae, calm down!” Sungmin got up and held onto me. “People are watching.”
“Where the fuck is Donghae?!”
“He’s dead!”
Imaginations, illusions or hallucinations - you decide. But they were never dreams.
-
I think it’s not just merely me, losing you.
“Why are you still holding on to that piece of dried leaf?” Sungmin asked while he was pushing me back to the ward.
“It’s not a leaf; it’s a wing, Donghae’s wing.” I smiled for Sungmin, but without him noticing, I cried.
A/n: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mf1Y5kNrNI
Pairing: Haehyuk
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Angst
Length: One-shot, 1,618 words
Summary: “It’s not a leaf; it’s a wing, Donghae’s wing.”
Leaves are wings that aren’t able to soar; wings are leaves that had fallen onto the sky.
Sungmin gently tapped his fingers onto my left cheek; hands trembling with fear, afraid that my face would break if he had used the wrong force.
“Hyukjae, can you see me?” Everywhere on my face was bandaged, except for my right eye.
“Fifty per cent, Sungmin.” I tried to stretch my jaw, but it hurt for a moment. “I can’t see what’s on the left.”
“You,” Sungmin pulled my fingers. “You’d scared the shit out of me.” Something had emboldened him to hug me, that hug was so tight that I thought I’d break. Sungmin wasn’t thinking straight.
-
After a couple of therapy sessions, the bandages on my body had slightly decreased and loosened. My muscles felt less tense and I could feel that my six senses were coming back to me. Just like an elementary kid going to the school alone and coming back alone right before dinner, right before the correct timing.
“The doctor says breathing fresh air multiplies the rate of your recovery.” Sungmin pushed me right under the tree, deterring as much sunlight as possible from contacting my skin.
“What’s this?” I squeezed my left hand from time to time, only to hear faint crushing sounds from the action.
“A fallen leaf.” Sungmin looked down to me who was sitting on the wheelchair. “It’s all dried and old, throw that away.”
“Autumn’s here.” I smiled. “Autumn.”
-
During the nights, Donghae would come to visit. He had bandages around his right arm and his chest, face covered with some gauze, looking nothing serious - not really after you’d encountered the worse, or rather, worst.
“I have to go now; the nurse will blow up if she sees my bed empty again.” Donghae reasoned. “Rest well, I love you.” Donghae attached his lips onto my forehead for two seconds before he’d left.
-
Heaven - it initially wasn’t supposed to be an illusion, it’s just that, I’ve forgotten how to fly already.
Donghae loved car racing. He would usually drive me down to the countryside with his second-hand Ferrari.
“They don’t have any traffic lights here,” Donghae leant his back against the head of his car. “I feel like a bird flying in the middle of the air, and not being kept in the cage.”
“It really felt like flying.” I stood beside him. “I could feel the wind.”
Accidents happened, no matter how fast you’d soared, how fast you’d flew, the faster, the quicker you’d moved, the swifter accidents would come to you.
And then a crash had summarised everything.
-
Solitude is a person’s revelry, and revelry signifies the solitude of a group of people.
After my discharge, only a patch of bandage on my left eye stayed, the others, gone with the wind.
“Where’s Donghae?” I staggered slightly toward Sungmin, who was chatting away with another man who I’d assumed he went by the name of Siwon.
“Uh,” Sungmin paused and delivered weird glances to Siwon.
“Not discharged yet?”
“Uh, yeah, he needs to fulfill a few more therapies.”
“I see.” I then staggered back to my room, feeling nothing, thinking nothing.
-
During midnight after Sungmin had gone back with his friend, I sat on the couch that was placed in the middle of my living hall and stared at the television screen, as if I was trying to burn a hole with my gaze, my deep and long gaze. A thing or two twitched on the screen, nothing magical happened, they called this imagination, or illusion, or hallucination. They depended on situations, though.
Love - needed a companion of two; but I’m slowly, slowly forgetting how does an accompany feel like.
“It’s been two weeks, just where the fuck is Donghae?” I snapped at Sungmin.
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin grabbed my arm. “Listen to - ”
“Don’t grab my left arm!” I withdrew my hand back forcefully. “You don’t know how strange it is to feel without seeing anything that you’re feeling.”
“I’m sorry.” He started to sob, teeth grinding his lower lip.
Just when Sungmin was going to open his mouth again, his phone rang. He walked off to answer the phone, but ‘hello’, ‘oh, Siwon’, ‘haven’t yet’, ‘I’ll talk to you later’, could be vaguely heard.
“You’re busy,” I uttered right after Sungmin had hung up his call. “Go.”
“Hy -”
“Just go!” I threw him out of my apartment and slid my back down behind the closed door. I started to sob; I missed Donghae.
The night after, Donghae came by with a few knocks on my door. I opened the door and welcomed him with hugs and kisses. They felt too warm, too warm for the early winter.
“Where have you been?” I was dwelling under Donghae’s embrace; I turned back to my right and looked for his face.
“The therapies were kind of troublesome. And the package, the discharge, everything were dragged until now.”
“Sungmin didn’t tell me about it.” I pouted.
“I told him not to,” Donghae snuggled close. “You can’t worry about anything now.”
“But, I worry about you.”
“Don’t…” Donghae’s voice was getting softer; it was evident that he’d fell asleep after a few calls weren’t answered.
I eat and travel; stopping and going by alone.
I found myself sleeping alone on the bed when I’d woke up on the next morning. The anxiousness inside me grew, I was afraid Donghae would disappear again.
“Hae?” I rushed into the kitchen, relieved after seeing the figure that I’d hoped to see. “Hae,” I hugged him from the back, hands squeezing the chest area of his shirt. “I thought you’re gone.”
Donghae grabbed my hands and laughed while frying the omelette.
“Hyukkie,” Donghae turned off the stove and turned back to me. “Let’s have breakfast.”
-
“Rome?” I questioned before I could put a piece of omelette inside my mouth.
“Yup,” Donghae nodded. “You’d always wanted to go, right?”
“True, but…” I tilted my head and stared at Donghae dubiously. “Why so sudden?”
“Is it that sudden?”
“Yeah.”
Donghae laughed, “Maybe not after you left eye recovers, we shall have a simple vacation instead.”
“Will it ever recover?”
“It will, don’t worry.” He widened his lips and ruffled my hair.
-
Donghae and I spent the night snuggling away, smelling each other’s scent.
“Promise me,” I hid my head under Donghae’s jaw. “Always stand by my (right) side.”
“I won’t have to do that when your left eye recovers, idiot.”
“Then just do that for the time being.”
“Yeah, for the time being, I promise.”
-
Also, I read and write letters; having a conversation alone.
Donghae’s parents resided in Europe, so he had to fly there during New Year’s.
“I’ll write letters to you.”
“Pfft,” Despite Donghae’s seriousness was written all over his face, I just had to laugh. “I guess only cavemen write letters now.”
“But isn’t letter writing romantic?”
“I suppose so?”
“Let’s write letters.” He pressed his lips against mine before leaving for his flight.
-
Dear Donghae,
Days ago when I went for a medical check-up the doctor said I was recovering. He’d also mentioned that a week later I could remove the bandage on my left eye - to get it accustomed to the natural lights - he ordered. Who knows, by the time when you’d came back I could see you with both eyes again.
Donghae-ah, this is the seventh letter. When are you going to send me your first? You were the one who suggested in writing letters first; how sly of you, and now I’m left with nothing to write. I might be writing this in every letters I wrote but, I miss you. Reply me soon, I love you, Donghae.
Hyukjae
-
But where has my heart flown to? Even I, myself, couldn’t see it properly.
On the day before I could get the bandage off my left eye, Sungmin asked me out for lunch.
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin hesitated. “I’ve wanted to tell you this.”
“Ming,” I smiled. “What do you want to eat?”
“Hyukjae,”
“Pancakes? You like sweet stuff, don’t you?”
“Donghae, he - ”
“Ah, but waffles look yummy too…” I stole a glance from Sungmin. “Or shall we have pasta?” I continued studying the menu.
“Donghae’s dead.”
I said nothing; eyes were still on the menu.
“He died in that accident, the one that had you involved.”
“Lies.” I tried to smile. “Sungmin, cut the joke.”
“His parents sent these to me.” He placed the seven letters I’d sent on the table. “They had presumed you didn’t know about Donghae’s death so they sent them back to me, just in case.”
“Lies,” I shook my head, vision lost in a deep, drab abyss. “Donghae came back didn’t he? He’d asked you to pull this ‘joke’ on me didn’t he? God, it’s not even funny.” I thought for a moment. “Where’s he? Is he here?” I tried to find Donghae on the empty seat to my left. “I told him not to stand at a place where I can’t see him, that bastard.”
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin called up.
“Donghae, where are you?” I stood up, turning around to the left. “Stop hiding!”
“Hyukjae, calm down!” Sungmin got up and held onto me. “People are watching.”
“Where the fuck is Donghae?!”
“He’s dead!”
Imaginations, illusions or hallucinations - you decide. But they were never dreams.
-
I think it’s not just merely me, losing you.
“Why are you still holding on to that piece of dried leaf?” Sungmin asked while he was pushing me back to the ward.
“It’s not a leaf; it’s a wing, Donghae’s wing.” I smiled for Sungmin, but without him noticing, I cried.
A/n: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Mf1Y5kNrNI