(no subject)

[insertbaldjoke]

"...lighter's kinda cheap. Ryuuken's a fucking copout."

"...would you expect otherwise?"

"Look, Hoozukimaru. The guy's a professional. You think he'd be able to get somethin' better than plastic lighters but no."

"Ikkaku-dono."

"Right. So. This's a pack of twenty-five. And. I'm gonna get caught, right?"

"...well, speaking from a logical perspective. It would be difficult for my lord to traverse a realm such as Hueco Mundo without--"

"Okay!"

"...pardon?"

"Four if I get molested by Aizen."

"...Ikkaku-dono?"

"Six if it's Ichimaru. I hate that fuck."

"...Ikkaku-dono."

"Just two if it's an Arrancar."

"...really."

"Eight if it's just a Hollow, because. No."

"...my lord."

"The goal's to get all this back to Doc in one piece."

"...what."

"THIS PACK OF CIGARETTES REPRESENTS MY VIRGINITY."

"...What."

"Oh, look, it's time already! Tally ho!"

"Ikkaku-dono--"

"Eh?"

"...yes?"

"Coulda sworn I left that outside."