Love- an evolution
In the beginning, even a glance from you caught my breath, caged it and held it. Just the touch of your fingertips gave me goosebumps. My heart set afire by your kiss. I abandoned all other thoughts so my mind filled with you, so I could swim in your love. My heart raced and my lips fumbled, all I wanted was to love you. All I wanted was for you to love me. I ached for it. I'd do anything, anything to keep your eyes one me. Life would finally calm if you needed me. Your love could cure me, yes I was sure of it. At that point- my life was no longer mine- it was yours.
Years later I am so unsure-so restless- so numb. Anger nips at my thoughts of you. I don't feel the ache anymore- why? Why did it run away? Your eyes no longer set my heart a flutter, your voice is just your voice. We are just another couple, comfortable and normal. There is no fire, no goosebumps, no....nothing. I resent you for it. I've condemned us already. We must be falling. Our love must be crumbling. How will we last without fire, without passion, without sparks? Have I really been cured, or just pacified? Can I adjust to this, love should feel like fire, like a fever, like drowning. Can't it feel like that forever? Where are we now? Where do we go from here? Anywhere.....nowhere?
Years later your eyes reassure me, my heart swells with the need to see you. You are my survival. That new feeling is gone, replaced by the love that lasts forever, by the love that surrounds and consumes you, suffocates until you are reborn with the confidence that nothing can stop this. Love that life is meaningless without. Lust appears and disappears, but this....this is what life is. You are so much a part of me I can never separate myself from you. I don't fear this, I haven't lost myself in you. I don't see it this way. No, we are one, as it should be, after so many years how could we not be. My life is still yours, 10 years later-and it will always be yours-my love.
August 1st was Jason and my 6 year wedding anniversary, meaning we have been enduring each other for over 10 years now. I really felt like this summed up our relationship well. So many couples break up because they don't feel that new feisty spark anymore- but I think that love evolves and people who search for relationships that feel "new" all the time will never find love. I'm not saying that longterm love isn't passionate-it is- just that the feeling of love evolves. so yea...