Divi Sion - OHSHC
So, I've decided to start posting my stories in my journal rather than communities, mainly because my journal is pretty. Yes, I actually am that shallow. Also, it's probably more convenient.
But that's irrelevant.
Title: Divi Sion
Author: insidiae
Rating: PG
Notes: Metaphors like whoa. One-sided HikaruxHaruhi, implied twincest if you squint hard or really want to see it. Kaorucentric. Oneshot.
Fanfic archive here.
He’s drifting.
In Kaoru’s mind, the image is clear; it’s as if he’s on a shore, on a beach where he and Hikaru have lived together happily for all their lives. He stands and he watches as Hikaru, on a raft kept together with shoddy, fragile bonds, drifts slowly and surely out to sea. Kaoru knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that on the other side of all that water, there is another beach just like his own, where Haruhi stands, smiling.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting.
It will be a difficult journey, Kaoru knows. Hikaru’s raft is build from Curiosity and tied with Blind Infatuation - a weak vessel if there ever was one. This is the first time that Hikaru will attempt to test the waters of the sea known as Love, and he does so without a compass or a map. He has nothing to give him direction, and plenty of things to knock him off course. Kaoru can see Tamaki, a fierce wind blowing - even if only hot air - steering Hikaru away.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting.
Still, Kaoru can see that Hikaru is determined. Kaoru knows his brother has no idea of what he’s getting himself into, but he also knows that Hikaru won’t ever turn back. Kaoru’s standing on the sand, watching his brother, watching and waving and shouting and hoping for his twin, who doesn’t give the shoreline a second glance.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting out to sea.
Today, Hikaru is staying after school, working with Haruhi on a project for which they partnered. Kaoru sits alone in the overwhelming silence of the immense Hitachiin estate, mindlessly flipping through the channels on the television. He pauses at a news station, frowning as a weatherman drones, and mentally noting to cancel the weekend trip to the beach.
The forecast calls for coastal flooding.
Kaoru wonders if Hikaru even knows.
It’s doubtful. Hikaru doesn’t actually understand much of what’s happening around him. He lives in his own little world.
Kaoru can’t help but think of how it used to be their world.
Kaoru remembers “Us” and “Them,” though just barely. Now it’s “Me” and “You” and “Her” and “Us” and “Them.” The rules have changed, the players have evolved, and a simple game of chance (that’s really all it ever was, all it ever was meant to be) has become a complex game of thinking and strategy that confuses even its creators. There was never supposed to be any wild cards, but Haruhi is playing a game all of her own, and unknowingly stringing everyone she’s met along for the ride.
It’s “Us” and “Them” and - the trump card, the joker - “Her.”
But Kaoru is proud of his brother. Proud of him, because Hikaru was able to break out of their world in a way he himself could not. Kaoru has always been more mature, but also more cautious. The problem with playing this game of chance is that he’s too afraid of relying on just his luck. Hikaru, however, has the courage to play whatever hand is dealt to him, even if he has no guarantee of winning.
On the other hand, if the outcome is uncertain, Kaoru will always fold.
So Kaoru will support Hikaru, in whatever choice he makes. Hikaru may be brave enough to bet it all on nothing, but Kaoru understands that he’ll need someone’s shoulder to lean on when he loses that gamble. Kaoru will be that shoulder, because even if they're both losing, it’s still their game and he won’t let it be the ruin of them. However, Kaoru will restrain himself to being just that and nothing more, because he realizes just what has changed.
Hikaru and Kaoru are still playing the same game. The only difference is that now they’re on separate teams.
And so here lies the fork in the road.
On one path is Kaoru, waiting, watching. On the other path is Haruhi, moving along at her own pace, already nothing more than a dot in the distance. Hikaru reaches out to her, chasing her, but she is already so very far away.
And he will never, ever catch her.
He doesn’t reach for Kaoru. Perhaps it is because Kaoru is right there, an arm’s length away, watching him watching Haruhi. Because Kaoru is obtainable, Hikaru has no desire to obtain him.
Hikaru is a fool.
Kaoru sees it all. Hikaru is going to go after Haruhi, going to gamble it all on a hopeless endeavor, and he’ll expect Kaoru to remain where he is, waiting, always waiting. Kaoru would say something to protest, anything, but this is something his brother needs to figure out on his own.
Hikaru looks from Kaoru to Haruhi’s retreating back to Kaoru to Haruhi. He takes a step towards her... and then breaks out running.
Kaoru watches him go, wordlessly.
When Hikaru, too, is nothing more than a dot in a distant, Kaoru turns on his heel and begins to walk on his own path. Hikaru had a choice; he chose poorly, but it was still his to make. Kaoru can’t change that fact, but that doesn’t mean that he has to suffer for it. Kaoru chose his path a long, long time ago, and it’s about time that he sees where it will take him. He can’t wait for Hikaru any longer, no matter how much he wants to.
Hikaru made his decision. He decided to be alone.
And when he returns to the fork in road, when he realizes that Haruhi was too far ahead of him from the start, he’ll understand. Because when he returns, there all he’ll see is empty space. Kaoru will be gone.
And so, with his chin held high, Kaoru takes his first steps on the road that will take him farther and farther away from Hikaru. This is his path, this is his decision.
In his pocket is a pair of dice and the earth beneath his feet is sand.
He doesn’t look back.
So, the last section makes me want to hurt small children, which is really a shame since I actually liked the first two sections alot. Oh well, it was a good study in metaphors, at least.
Comments and criticisms make the authoress happy in her pantalones.
-Insidiae-
But that's irrelevant.
Title: Divi Sion
Author: insidiae
Rating: PG
Notes: Metaphors like whoa. One-sided HikaruxHaruhi, implied twincest if you squint hard or really want to see it. Kaorucentric. Oneshot.
Fanfic archive here.
He’s drifting.
In Kaoru’s mind, the image is clear; it’s as if he’s on a shore, on a beach where he and Hikaru have lived together happily for all their lives. He stands and he watches as Hikaru, on a raft kept together with shoddy, fragile bonds, drifts slowly and surely out to sea. Kaoru knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that on the other side of all that water, there is another beach just like his own, where Haruhi stands, smiling.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting.
It will be a difficult journey, Kaoru knows. Hikaru’s raft is build from Curiosity and tied with Blind Infatuation - a weak vessel if there ever was one. This is the first time that Hikaru will attempt to test the waters of the sea known as Love, and he does so without a compass or a map. He has nothing to give him direction, and plenty of things to knock him off course. Kaoru can see Tamaki, a fierce wind blowing - even if only hot air - steering Hikaru away.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting.
Still, Kaoru can see that Hikaru is determined. Kaoru knows his brother has no idea of what he’s getting himself into, but he also knows that Hikaru won’t ever turn back. Kaoru’s standing on the sand, watching his brother, watching and waving and shouting and hoping for his twin, who doesn’t give the shoreline a second glance.
And Hikaru’s drifting, drifting, drifting out to sea.
Today, Hikaru is staying after school, working with Haruhi on a project for which they partnered. Kaoru sits alone in the overwhelming silence of the immense Hitachiin estate, mindlessly flipping through the channels on the television. He pauses at a news station, frowning as a weatherman drones, and mentally noting to cancel the weekend trip to the beach.
The forecast calls for coastal flooding.
Kaoru wonders if Hikaru even knows.
It’s doubtful. Hikaru doesn’t actually understand much of what’s happening around him. He lives in his own little world.
Kaoru can’t help but think of how it used to be their world.
Kaoru remembers “Us” and “Them,” though just barely. Now it’s “Me” and “You” and “Her” and “Us” and “Them.” The rules have changed, the players have evolved, and a simple game of chance (that’s really all it ever was, all it ever was meant to be) has become a complex game of thinking and strategy that confuses even its creators. There was never supposed to be any wild cards, but Haruhi is playing a game all of her own, and unknowingly stringing everyone she’s met along for the ride.
It’s “Us” and “Them” and - the trump card, the joker - “Her.”
But Kaoru is proud of his brother. Proud of him, because Hikaru was able to break out of their world in a way he himself could not. Kaoru has always been more mature, but also more cautious. The problem with playing this game of chance is that he’s too afraid of relying on just his luck. Hikaru, however, has the courage to play whatever hand is dealt to him, even if he has no guarantee of winning.
On the other hand, if the outcome is uncertain, Kaoru will always fold.
So Kaoru will support Hikaru, in whatever choice he makes. Hikaru may be brave enough to bet it all on nothing, but Kaoru understands that he’ll need someone’s shoulder to lean on when he loses that gamble. Kaoru will be that shoulder, because even if they're both losing, it’s still their game and he won’t let it be the ruin of them. However, Kaoru will restrain himself to being just that and nothing more, because he realizes just what has changed.
Hikaru and Kaoru are still playing the same game. The only difference is that now they’re on separate teams.
And so here lies the fork in the road.
On one path is Kaoru, waiting, watching. On the other path is Haruhi, moving along at her own pace, already nothing more than a dot in the distance. Hikaru reaches out to her, chasing her, but she is already so very far away.
And he will never, ever catch her.
He doesn’t reach for Kaoru. Perhaps it is because Kaoru is right there, an arm’s length away, watching him watching Haruhi. Because Kaoru is obtainable, Hikaru has no desire to obtain him.
Hikaru is a fool.
Kaoru sees it all. Hikaru is going to go after Haruhi, going to gamble it all on a hopeless endeavor, and he’ll expect Kaoru to remain where he is, waiting, always waiting. Kaoru would say something to protest, anything, but this is something his brother needs to figure out on his own.
Hikaru looks from Kaoru to Haruhi’s retreating back to Kaoru to Haruhi. He takes a step towards her... and then breaks out running.
Kaoru watches him go, wordlessly.
When Hikaru, too, is nothing more than a dot in a distant, Kaoru turns on his heel and begins to walk on his own path. Hikaru had a choice; he chose poorly, but it was still his to make. Kaoru can’t change that fact, but that doesn’t mean that he has to suffer for it. Kaoru chose his path a long, long time ago, and it’s about time that he sees where it will take him. He can’t wait for Hikaru any longer, no matter how much he wants to.
Hikaru made his decision. He decided to be alone.
And when he returns to the fork in road, when he realizes that Haruhi was too far ahead of him from the start, he’ll understand. Because when he returns, there all he’ll see is empty space. Kaoru will be gone.
And so, with his chin held high, Kaoru takes his first steps on the road that will take him farther and farther away from Hikaru. This is his path, this is his decision.
In his pocket is a pair of dice and the earth beneath his feet is sand.
He doesn’t look back.
So, the last section makes me want to hurt small children, which is really a shame since I actually liked the first two sections alot. Oh well, it was a good study in metaphors, at least.
Comments and criticisms make the authoress happy in her pantalones.
-Insidiae-