Walking through this masquerade
“Mrs. Morgan?” I blinked and looked up from the papers at my desk, cocking my brow but not verbally responding. “Umm, Mr. Ramos is on the phone for you.” I sighed heavily and waved her out of the door. “Line…four,” she sputtered as she shut the door to my office, leaving me just the way I liked to be - alone.
Tossing my hair over my shoulder I reach over and pick up the phone. “Bonjour, Monsieur Ramos ; j'ai prévu votre appel.” Dreading his call would be the truth.
“English is alright; I’ve told you that before, Mrs. Morgan; I like hearing your American tongue.” I heard him chuckle on the other end of the phone, wearing on my patients already. “Did you get my letters?”
Letters? Oh, the ones that I pawned off to my assistant to try and figure out; I honestly couldn’t be bothered. “Yes I have, I am personally handling this matter so we can get to the bottom of this uncomfortable situation.”
“That’s splendid, I am very pleased to have you working on my case, and with such a…personal touch.” I pressed my lips together, knowing where this conversation was going to end up. “Now that I’m back in France we must get together for lunch…perhaps a late dinner would be better suited for us…”
I rubbed the back of my neck, leaning back in my desk chair and closing my eyes, getting tired of this game he was attempting to play with me, I am by no means anyone’s mouse. I don’t do that sort of thing; if I want something I get it. “Mister Ramos,” I politely cut him off, tired of ignoring his constant gum flapping in my direction. “Although I am deeply flattered, you are aware of my marital status?”
There was a pause on the other end before he continued. “Lilah,” I licked my lips and waited for him to get the point, I wasn’t sure when he was going to realize that I wasn’t interested in dating or being anything affiliated with him. “There was never anything wrong with a little indiscretion, you are one of the top lawyers at Wolfram and Hart, head of Special Projects in the Los Angeles branch when it was still standing. We both know you were never built for being faithful…”
Blinking I glare at the phone, knowing I need to bite my tongue and tell him to fuck off in the nicest way I can. “Time’s change Sir. I know I have.”
“Just think it over Madam Morgan, you have access to my personal line.” With that he hung up, leaving me to hear dead air before the operator informed me that my phone was disconnected.
I reached over and hit the intercom. “I’m out for the evening to anyone who calls that isn’t Mr. McDonald or Sarah.” Without waiting for a response I disconnected, letting out a frustrated growl as I get up and head over to the bar, reaching down and into the back of the cabinet to pull out the good scotch and pouring myself a full glass.
Rubbing my temple I slowly make my way over to the window, glancing out at the skyline. It’s been six years and I still expect to see the LA skyline; but now my eyes fall on the sights of downtown Paris. It’s beautiful; but it doesn’t feel so much like home as I’d like it to be.
The very overused line from that movie that Sarah insists on watching comes to mind. ’there’s no place like home’. Los Angeles was never really home to me, it was the place where I was born into the woman I am now; it’s also the place that destroyed the man I…
No sense dwelling on the past, it was all the past. Wes was the past…my past and a part of me I left back in LA.
I slowly nurse my glass of scotch as my mind goes over everything that happened that lead me to this point; the choices that I’ve made, the people I’ve met…the one’s left behind. Some I’d change, others I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Sarah, my daughter, was one of them.
It’s a crazy fucked up world we live in, I flee LA after some demon hell beast takes over the city and my lover shoves me away; trying to turn back into the goodie he once was before we started our sheet dance.
“Funny thing about black and white…”
Gray, it always ended up gray.
“Fuck this,” I mutter, getting up and putting my glass on my desk as I grab some papers, shove them into my briefcase and head out the door. “Forget my calls,” I call out to my assistant who scrambles to her feet as I march past her. “I’m going home for the night, it’s about time I had dinner with my family and not the food cart.”
My heels click against the marble tiles of the hallway down to the elevators and I roll my shoulders, my mind starting to unwind and go from Lilah Morgan - Lawyer to… I’m not sure what to call who I am away from this place.
Lindsey says he’s won the lottery because he managed to make an honest woman out of me; teasingly telling me he’s tamed the beast. Comments like that will get him hit, in several not fun ways.
To Sarah I’m simply Mommy. She’s six - too smart for her age - and it still makes me blink sometimes when I pull out my credit card and see a picture of her grinning at me from my wallet - minus a few front teeth.
My mind continues to wonder as I make my way home, it’s become routine the route that I take to get there. It’s nearly an hour drive but it helps keep things separate, it’s better that way. It took me long enough to realize that.
Shifting my suit jacket over my arm I make my way up the elevator to my apartment I can hear the soft music from the apartment down the hall, the methodic sounds of classic music filling my ears. I slip my key in the lock and I can’t help but feel the weight of my day slip from my shoulders at the sight in front of me.
“Hey,” I whisper softly, my eyes settling on Lindsey and Sarah curled up on the couch, her nose buried in a book and his in papers. “If you keep squinting like that you’re going to get wrinkles,” I comment to him, dropping my bag onto the table by the door. “They’re only magnifying glasses, they barely matter.” I turn my eyes to Sarah and back to Lindsey. “Also, just because you decide to ruin your eyes doesn’t mean that you are allowed to let our daughter to do the same.” I cross my arms at her and give her a look. “Sarah, you know you have to wear your glasses when you read.” She glances up at me with big eyes and it’s almost like looking in a mirror with the glare she gives me. “Maintenant, ne pas me faire la parole il encore.” Huffing, Sarah finally gets up from the couch and hurries to get them from her room. Heaven’s forbid the book goes a moment alone without being read.
Slipping my heels off I pad over in stocking feet to the couch and sitting next to Lindsey; he leans over and kisses my cheek and eliciting a small smile from my lips. “More average Joe work?” My eyes turn towards the dining room table and I shake my head. “Sappy lawyer. You’ve gone soft being away from Wolfram and Hart all these years.” I roll my shoulders and sink back in the couch, watching as Lindsey finished up his notes. I’ve been home for five minutes; he knows his eyes should be on me.