(no subject)
Title: I will be home then
Pairing: Marshall/Lily/Ted
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1,100
Summary: Through "Come On," AU for second season
The sad thing is, Ted doesn’t know how to be an adult when Lily and Marshall aren’t dating. There was one time senior year when Lily didn’t speak to Marshall for thirteen days, and even after just three years it felt like the world was totally off. It’s worse now.
***
The first few weeks are unbearably awful. Marshall commutes from his bedroom to the office like a zombie, and no one hears from Lily. Ted should be overjoyed that he’s with Robin, they should be running around nauseating Barney, but he can’t muster the energy anymore. He’s pretty sure Robin thinks he was only into her because she rejected him. He would be more sure, but it was Barney who told him, so who knows. Maybe she’s actually in love with him, and Barney just wants to see what Ted will do to win her back, again.
July is disgusting and too humid for people to act properly human anymore, which is kind of nice because Marshall is finally on the same misery plane as everyone else. He and Ted play a lot of Mario Kart, which is coincidentally Lily’s least favorite game of all time. She hated how overly bright everything was, and claimed Rainbow Road would give her seizures. Robin joins them a couple times but she gets bored after the third hour and Barney decides he desperately needs her company.
“Where are we even going this time?”
“Two words, Scherbatsky: Lesbian. Bar.”
“Barney, no! I’m not taking you to a lesbian bar.” But she leaves anyway, still lecturing Barney on her phone.
***
Lily comes back in September, as promised. She doesn’t call Marshall or Ted. She calls Robin, who calls Ted, and they both meet her at the airport. Robin lets her crash for a while until she finds an apartment, and none of them mention Marshall. After a week or so Lily finds a one bedroom in the East Village and moves in. Ted and Robin move her stuff out of the old apartment while Marshall is at work on a Friday, because Lily still hasn’t called him to tell him she’s back.
It’s not right, the three of them living apart. Ted remembers soap and Lily remembers bread and Marshall remembers cheese, and if they’re split up Lily won’t have any soap and Marshall and Ted won’t have any bread, and seriously, who wants to live like that?
And when sometimes Ted listens to Elliot Smith for more than two weeks, because Rebecca stopped returning his calls or Jamie broke it off with him, Lily changes it to the Spice Girls and does a silly-sexy dance until he laughs, and then Marshall makes him change his shirt, and then they all go down to MacLaren’s. He and Marshall don’t even have a Spice Girls CD any more, which makes him want to listen to Elliot Smith even more, which is probably indicative of a serious problem.
***
October comes and goes. Lily and Marshall both have private panic attacks about having to plan out solo Halloween costumes. Ted drags Lily to the rooftop party, and it’s horrifically awkward, but at least it’s over with. Ted’s too distracted by the awful silences to look for the Slutty Pumpkin, but Marshall and Lily both got through the night without bursting into tears, so he counts it as a success.
***
Ted gets it down to a routine. Friday night he hangs out with Lily, because Marshall usually gets a drink with Barney and the idiots from their firm, and Ted wants no part of that. Saturday night is Guys Night + Robin. Robin, who breaks up with him on November 7th, citing his lack of focus and attention. “You’ve changed, Ted. I didn’t think I wanted that commitment, but I’m not looking to just fool around, either.” So that sucks. Guys Night + Robin turns into Guys Night - Barney, because as he tells them one night, “I told you to SUIT UP, not sad sack up. Poor showing, gentlemen.” Ted thinks Barney and Robin have started going to more lesbian bars together, but doesn’t really want to know.
The week after Robin breaks up with him, Ted and Lily get really drunk. Apparently her new class was asking why she wasn’t married like the other teachers. In the middle of her rant about manners and kids today, Ted mutters something. “What? You wanted broiled…what?”
“I don’t want a broiled anything, your broiler’s broken. I just…I miss you, Lily.”
Lily laughs. “You can’t miss me, silly, I’m right here. I’m going to get another mojito.”
“No, but Lily, you’re always right there. You shouldn’t be right there! You can’t only have bread!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ted, but if this is about Marshall, I’m definitely not drunk enough. So once again, I’m getting another mojito.”
Ted doesn’t really remember much after the next mojito, but he wakes up the next morning on the couch without his pants. Lily assures him nothing happened, and makes fun of him for being a lightweight, and he knows he should be relieved. In reality, Ted’s a little disappointed. And he’s not surprised about that, which is probably the worst part of being a little in love with the ex-fiancée of your best friend in the world, who just happens to be your second best friend in the world.
***
The next time Ted wakes up without his pants, it’s the morning after he and Marshall decided to play Mario Kart with a drinking game. It’s not the first time he and Marshall have fallen asleep slash passed out in front of the television, but it is the first time that they’ve woken up together on the couch. Ted thinks it’s kind of weird that he was less of a drunken not-slut when Marshall was having sex regularly, and resolves to do something.
He decides that tricking them both into coffee counts as doing something, because even if they’re kind of talking now, it’s not the same as it was, and it really needs to be. So when Lily walks in, she and Marshall both freeze a little before Ted grabs Lily and makes her sit down. They talk, and it seems like it goes on forever, but by the end of the conversation Ted thinks everyone has agreed that life sucks right now, and they should at least consider it, which is progress. Lily and Marshall both smile at Ted, and he remembers when Marshall called Lily “our fiancée,” and feels like he might be happy again.
Pairing: Marshall/Lily/Ted
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1,100
Summary: Through "Come On," AU for second season
The sad thing is, Ted doesn’t know how to be an adult when Lily and Marshall aren’t dating. There was one time senior year when Lily didn’t speak to Marshall for thirteen days, and even after just three years it felt like the world was totally off. It’s worse now.
***
The first few weeks are unbearably awful. Marshall commutes from his bedroom to the office like a zombie, and no one hears from Lily. Ted should be overjoyed that he’s with Robin, they should be running around nauseating Barney, but he can’t muster the energy anymore. He’s pretty sure Robin thinks he was only into her because she rejected him. He would be more sure, but it was Barney who told him, so who knows. Maybe she’s actually in love with him, and Barney just wants to see what Ted will do to win her back, again.
July is disgusting and too humid for people to act properly human anymore, which is kind of nice because Marshall is finally on the same misery plane as everyone else. He and Ted play a lot of Mario Kart, which is coincidentally Lily’s least favorite game of all time. She hated how overly bright everything was, and claimed Rainbow Road would give her seizures. Robin joins them a couple times but she gets bored after the third hour and Barney decides he desperately needs her company.
“Where are we even going this time?”
“Two words, Scherbatsky: Lesbian. Bar.”
“Barney, no! I’m not taking you to a lesbian bar.” But she leaves anyway, still lecturing Barney on her phone.
***
Lily comes back in September, as promised. She doesn’t call Marshall or Ted. She calls Robin, who calls Ted, and they both meet her at the airport. Robin lets her crash for a while until she finds an apartment, and none of them mention Marshall. After a week or so Lily finds a one bedroom in the East Village and moves in. Ted and Robin move her stuff out of the old apartment while Marshall is at work on a Friday, because Lily still hasn’t called him to tell him she’s back.
It’s not right, the three of them living apart. Ted remembers soap and Lily remembers bread and Marshall remembers cheese, and if they’re split up Lily won’t have any soap and Marshall and Ted won’t have any bread, and seriously, who wants to live like that?
And when sometimes Ted listens to Elliot Smith for more than two weeks, because Rebecca stopped returning his calls or Jamie broke it off with him, Lily changes it to the Spice Girls and does a silly-sexy dance until he laughs, and then Marshall makes him change his shirt, and then they all go down to MacLaren’s. He and Marshall don’t even have a Spice Girls CD any more, which makes him want to listen to Elliot Smith even more, which is probably indicative of a serious problem.
***
October comes and goes. Lily and Marshall both have private panic attacks about having to plan out solo Halloween costumes. Ted drags Lily to the rooftop party, and it’s horrifically awkward, but at least it’s over with. Ted’s too distracted by the awful silences to look for the Slutty Pumpkin, but Marshall and Lily both got through the night without bursting into tears, so he counts it as a success.
***
Ted gets it down to a routine. Friday night he hangs out with Lily, because Marshall usually gets a drink with Barney and the idiots from their firm, and Ted wants no part of that. Saturday night is Guys Night + Robin. Robin, who breaks up with him on November 7th, citing his lack of focus and attention. “You’ve changed, Ted. I didn’t think I wanted that commitment, but I’m not looking to just fool around, either.” So that sucks. Guys Night + Robin turns into Guys Night - Barney, because as he tells them one night, “I told you to SUIT UP, not sad sack up. Poor showing, gentlemen.” Ted thinks Barney and Robin have started going to more lesbian bars together, but doesn’t really want to know.
The week after Robin breaks up with him, Ted and Lily get really drunk. Apparently her new class was asking why she wasn’t married like the other teachers. In the middle of her rant about manners and kids today, Ted mutters something. “What? You wanted broiled…what?”
“I don’t want a broiled anything, your broiler’s broken. I just…I miss you, Lily.”
Lily laughs. “You can’t miss me, silly, I’m right here. I’m going to get another mojito.”
“No, but Lily, you’re always right there. You shouldn’t be right there! You can’t only have bread!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ted, but if this is about Marshall, I’m definitely not drunk enough. So once again, I’m getting another mojito.”
Ted doesn’t really remember much after the next mojito, but he wakes up the next morning on the couch without his pants. Lily assures him nothing happened, and makes fun of him for being a lightweight, and he knows he should be relieved. In reality, Ted’s a little disappointed. And he’s not surprised about that, which is probably the worst part of being a little in love with the ex-fiancée of your best friend in the world, who just happens to be your second best friend in the world.
***
The next time Ted wakes up without his pants, it’s the morning after he and Marshall decided to play Mario Kart with a drinking game. It’s not the first time he and Marshall have fallen asleep slash passed out in front of the television, but it is the first time that they’ve woken up together on the couch. Ted thinks it’s kind of weird that he was less of a drunken not-slut when Marshall was having sex regularly, and resolves to do something.
He decides that tricking them both into coffee counts as doing something, because even if they’re kind of talking now, it’s not the same as it was, and it really needs to be. So when Lily walks in, she and Marshall both freeze a little before Ted grabs Lily and makes her sit down. They talk, and it seems like it goes on forever, but by the end of the conversation Ted thinks everyone has agreed that life sucks right now, and they should at least consider it, which is progress. Lily and Marshall both smile at Ted, and he remembers when Marshall called Lily “our fiancée,” and feels like he might be happy again.