(no subject)
This is for Hidan's birthday 8D
♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIDAN!!!! ♥
I was out of ideas and thought Oh hey why don't I do a parody of Pocahontas? And this is where it took me.
Title: Pocahontas
Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan
Sumary: Hidan is out hunting - for the head of the Chief’s son. But he soon realizes that he won’t be satisfied with only the head…
He held the butt of the bayonet close to his side, finger resting lighting over the trigger. His eyes followed the savage closely, trailing the man’s every move as he walked the horse into the water. It was impossible to get a good shot at the man when the huge animal was blocking him, and a moving target was always a challenge. But Hidan liked challenges, and he’d picked out the prince of the tribe. His mates regarded him a fool for doing so, but Hidan was tempted.
There was much talk about the Chief’s son. Hidan had never seen him - not properly at least - and he could only rely on the stories his friends told him. The man was described as a ‘mean sonuvabitch, pretty tall, and as strong as four horses’. He was said to have slain sixty men in one of the battles that waged on the plains not too far from the river. Sixty men of the previous legion that landed here and decided - unwisely - to wage war against the resident tribe with only a handful of able-bodied men. A month of travel and little food only served to put the fire out of those soldiers even before they had had time to adjust to their new surroundings. And the new place wasn’t all that great either, Hidan noted, scrunching his nose as another bead of sweat rolled down it from his scalp. But looking at him now, Hidan could safely agree that the man was ‘pretty tall’. Whether he was as strong and valiant as he was feared to be, he still had to find out.
Hidan grinned to himself, running over his plan of action in his head. If he shot this one down and brought his head back to the boys, he’ll be a legend. He was just going to have to wait and see how strong this man really was. But then again, Hidan mused, he wasn’t going to give him a fair chance to prove his strength now, was he? Because when that metal ball left his bayonet, the Chief’s son would be no more. There wouldn’t be time enough to react, unless these savages had some sort of super power.
Yet Hidan didn’t get too ahead of himself. He still had his wits about, eyes and ears tuned to any other disturbance that might be cause for alarm. He was aware that this territory was alien to him. They’d only been here a fortnight and they hadn’t really come out this far to investigate. It was dangerous moving around in unchartered territory, and they needed as many men as possible in case of an attack. So far the savages had let them be, but one could never be too sure. He looked over his shoulder, slightly nervous. There could be another bastard behind him somewhere in the trees, waiting to get at him while he aimed at their man. Their arrows were nasty as well as quiet - a terrible advantage that added to their acute accuracy. He didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that.
When he was satisfied that there was nothing else save the trees and a few squirrels, he refocused his attention to the man in the river. “Tch,” he said quietly, moving an inch closer to the water. A slight breeze moved the grass that shielded him from view, and Hidan ducked, as quietly as possible. He thanked Jashin his target was with that horse; the animal’s snorts and grunts and occasional splashes muted his own noises that would have otherwise been easily picked up by the other man. When the grasses moved back into position, he straightened up.
He’d been watching and waiting for almost a quarter of an hour now, and it already seemed as though hours had passed. What the other man was doing in the water for that long, he had no idea. Perhaps he was just cooling off, Hidan assumed. It was hot as hell here.
The most annoying factor that added to his aggravation was that the horse seemed to always cover his target. Or had the bastard figured him out already that he wasn’t moving away? Hidan ground his teeth and refocused, getting antsy by the second. Patience had never been one of his virtues.
He took another moment to glance over his shoulder, a sudden crack of a branch nearby alerting him. He frowned. Stupid squirrel.
However, this time when he turned his attention back to the river, his heart stopped.
The man had finally moved away from the protection of his horse. He was in plain sight now, completely in view. This was his chance, Hidan thought, finger tightening on the trigger. He would have squeezed and let that ball rip through the other man’s chest, but something about the figure in the water made him stop.
It was a figure alright, but not just any figure. It was magnificent.
Hidan lowered the bayonet, now letting it rest completely on the dry earth. His finger still touched that trigger, but he had no intention of shooting just yet. Instead, he let his eyes feast upon the man he had come here to kill.
His body was made entirely of muscle, as perfect as Adonis, contours chiseled in all the right places. This was the type of body Hidan had seen only on statues, sculpted by the great artists, existent only in the mind’s eye. But here he was, staring straight at a bronzed Greek God. The man’s shoulders were broad, gently caressed by the ends of his shoulder-length black hair. His chest supported the most perfectly toned pectorals he’d ever seen, and those abs were something to gawk at. And his legs? They looked strong, thighs and calves perfectly toned. Hidan noticed two black lines drawn close to the man’s wrists; tattoos that probably meant something in their tribe but to which he was oblivious. The only oddity about the man’s body, Hidan noticed, were the numerous markings that covered it. Those weren’t tattoos - they were stitches. Hidan wondered what could have caused them. Had he been sliced during the last battle where he was said to have slain sixty of their men? It was possible. But so many stitches? Was a man allowed to live that long before he died of his wounds…?
He moved an inch closer, parting the grass that concealed his presence just a little way. He wanted a better look at the man’s face. The stranger seemed to always walk with his head bent facing the water, as if searching for something. Was he fishing? Probably not, Hidan figured. He carried no weapon. Hidan frowned, impatient again. He wanted the man to move that hair away from his face. He wanted to see him.
But luck was cruel to him, and the demigod continued to either look away, or hang his head down. “Tch, bastard.” Hidan shifted, now resting on his elbows, the bayonet still close at hand.
And while Hidan waited until he was granted an opportunity to see this man’s face, the focus of his attention began to stride deeper into the water, letting the river swallow that bronzed body inch by inch until that loin cloth - the only piece of garment visible - was in line with the water. A flick of the savage’s wrist was all it took to undo the knot that held it in place and the tiny garment slipped away. He caught it before it could escape his reach and turned, flinging it across so that it landed wetly on the back of his horse. The animal grunted and splashed, its front legs restless for a bit while its master laughed at the animal’s reaction.
The laugh brought Hidan back to his original train of thought and refocused his gaze on the man. What he saw made his heart skip a beat and he refused to breathe lest his breath would be heard and the man would turn away from him. He was finally facing him! From his spot on the ground, Hidan took in that handsome smile, the angular jaw, the piercing green eyes, and a curious line of stitches running across both sides of the man’s face starting at the corners of his mouth and ending somewhere close to his ears.
Slowly, he let his gaze fall, following the man’s neck, his collar, shoulder, perfect chest and body and yes - Hidan’s eyes finally rested on what the cloth had been hiding from view. He exhaled, long and low. Yes, this man was Adonis himself. His finger left the trigger and his hand left the rifle. Daring himself to get a better look, he lifted his head by an inch, still well hidden by the long grass. He pulled himself forward to rest firmly on his elbows, gaining better leverage.
And it was at that moment that a stone decided to roll away from nearby and fall into the water with a very distinct plop.
Hidan froze.
He saw the man tense as well, immediately training his ears to the source of the sound. Shit shit shit shit! His breathing became labored, dust rising softly in small clouds where his breath touched the ground. Fingers went instinctively to grab the rifle.
Unfortunately, the butt of his firearm hit stone and the dull thud that ensued carried off to where the other man stood. One look at the stranger told Hidan that his position had been sighted.
Not waiting to hang around for even a second longer, he grabbed his weapon and turned to run, crouching low and as stealthily as he possibly could as he moved away from the grass and into the wooded area. He dared not look back.
But, as stated earlier, luck was cruel to him, and no sooner than when he had reached the first clump of trees in the thick woods, he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. The next moment found him slammed against the trunk of a tree and face-to-face with the Chief’s son.
“Oh fuck…” he muttered under his breath.
The stranger looked at him quizzically, head tilted to a side and one eyebrow arched. It seemed he didn’t recognize that word.
“Let me go,” he gritted, glaring at his captive. He clutched the rifle in his hand tighter, acknowledging its presence. “Or I’ll shoot.” He knew the native didn’t carry a weapon so it was safe to threaten. His only hope was that the man didn’t just raise his hand and snap his neck.
However, the only reaction he earned from the other man was a short laugh. “If you wanted to shoot, you would have done so.” He smiled at Hidan as he watched the fair man’s features display shock at the realization that he could speak their language. “You chose to let go of your opportunity.” The accent was distinctly different, but it was perfect English nevertheless.
Another short laugh. “Mm, yes. I can speak your language. I see you are surprised. You see,” his smile now changed into a smirk. “If it takes us ‘savages’ less than a year to learn your language, then it must not be so… special”
Hidan frowned at the man, about to retort, but was cut short immediately when the tall warrior leaned forward and pressed his lips to his ear. Hidan’s breathing sped up, chest rising and falling erratically at the sensation. Furthermore, he was also unsure if the man was about to chew his ear off. He was a savage, wasn’t he? “What are you..?! Let… Let go of me! I’ll shoot!” The hand that held the bayonet instinctively rose, but a distinct crack and sharp pain to his wrist followed not long after, resulting in him dropping the weapon to the forest floor with a clatter that sent birds flying out of their nests.
“Don’t lie. Why do the white men always lie?” The warrior’s breath was hot against his ear and Hidan felt his cheeks get warmer. “I know why you refused your chance…”
“Y-you do..?” he croaked out, wincing against the pain of his broken wrist, and also secretly reveling in the feeling of this perfectly sculpted body flush against him. Naked.
The warrior merely smiled. “Mm.” One long, slender finger trailed down Hidan’s heaving chest and onto his groin where his breeches hid a very visible bulge.
“O-oh. Oh no.”
The taller man grinned. “Oh yes.”
“No. No no no no no!” Hidan squirmed as his breeches were undone and that bronzed hand slipped in comfortably. “Just because you can speak English doesn’t give you the right to put your hands in my mmmmh~ OH FUCK!”
His scream carried through the entire forest, followed by a very loud “Was it that obvious?!”
“I could tell from where I stood, in the river.”
“Stop lying bastard, I was lying down. You didn’t see anything!”
“Only white men lie.”
“That’s a lie! You… you…”
“Kakuzu.”
“Oh. Nnngh~! A-ah ‘m Hidan. Ouch fuck! My hand!”
“Will you be quiet? You are scaring the birds and the squirrels. Hidan.”
“Like I give a fuck about what they think.”
“Your own people might hear you.”
“Oh. Oh.. that would be bad.”
“Yes.”
“….”
“I didn’t think you’d be…”
“Stop comparing sizes and get on with it MMPH~!”
Oh, and just so we're clear, what happens in the forest after that is consensual. It's not rape, sorry |D Hidan's screams are due to his surprise - he's just overreacting because it's just too good to be true rofl.
But yes, it is safe to assume that Hidan pulled a John Smith move and saved Kakuzu's tribe from going into battle with the settlers. And somewhere down the road, Kakuzu sang Colors of the Wind to enlighten Hidan about the way of a balanced world
♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIDAN!!!! ♥
I was out of ideas and thought Oh hey why don't I do a parody of Pocahontas? And this is where it took me.
Title: Pocahontas
Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan
Sumary: Hidan is out hunting - for the head of the Chief’s son. But he soon realizes that he won’t be satisfied with only the head…
He held the butt of the bayonet close to his side, finger resting lighting over the trigger. His eyes followed the savage closely, trailing the man’s every move as he walked the horse into the water. It was impossible to get a good shot at the man when the huge animal was blocking him, and a moving target was always a challenge. But Hidan liked challenges, and he’d picked out the prince of the tribe. His mates regarded him a fool for doing so, but Hidan was tempted.
There was much talk about the Chief’s son. Hidan had never seen him - not properly at least - and he could only rely on the stories his friends told him. The man was described as a ‘mean sonuvabitch, pretty tall, and as strong as four horses’. He was said to have slain sixty men in one of the battles that waged on the plains not too far from the river. Sixty men of the previous legion that landed here and decided - unwisely - to wage war against the resident tribe with only a handful of able-bodied men. A month of travel and little food only served to put the fire out of those soldiers even before they had had time to adjust to their new surroundings. And the new place wasn’t all that great either, Hidan noted, scrunching his nose as another bead of sweat rolled down it from his scalp. But looking at him now, Hidan could safely agree that the man was ‘pretty tall’. Whether he was as strong and valiant as he was feared to be, he still had to find out.
Hidan grinned to himself, running over his plan of action in his head. If he shot this one down and brought his head back to the boys, he’ll be a legend. He was just going to have to wait and see how strong this man really was. But then again, Hidan mused, he wasn’t going to give him a fair chance to prove his strength now, was he? Because when that metal ball left his bayonet, the Chief’s son would be no more. There wouldn’t be time enough to react, unless these savages had some sort of super power.
Yet Hidan didn’t get too ahead of himself. He still had his wits about, eyes and ears tuned to any other disturbance that might be cause for alarm. He was aware that this territory was alien to him. They’d only been here a fortnight and they hadn’t really come out this far to investigate. It was dangerous moving around in unchartered territory, and they needed as many men as possible in case of an attack. So far the savages had let them be, but one could never be too sure. He looked over his shoulder, slightly nervous. There could be another bastard behind him somewhere in the trees, waiting to get at him while he aimed at their man. Their arrows were nasty as well as quiet - a terrible advantage that added to their acute accuracy. He didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that.
When he was satisfied that there was nothing else save the trees and a few squirrels, he refocused his attention to the man in the river. “Tch,” he said quietly, moving an inch closer to the water. A slight breeze moved the grass that shielded him from view, and Hidan ducked, as quietly as possible. He thanked Jashin his target was with that horse; the animal’s snorts and grunts and occasional splashes muted his own noises that would have otherwise been easily picked up by the other man. When the grasses moved back into position, he straightened up.
He’d been watching and waiting for almost a quarter of an hour now, and it already seemed as though hours had passed. What the other man was doing in the water for that long, he had no idea. Perhaps he was just cooling off, Hidan assumed. It was hot as hell here.
The most annoying factor that added to his aggravation was that the horse seemed to always cover his target. Or had the bastard figured him out already that he wasn’t moving away? Hidan ground his teeth and refocused, getting antsy by the second. Patience had never been one of his virtues.
He took another moment to glance over his shoulder, a sudden crack of a branch nearby alerting him. He frowned. Stupid squirrel.
However, this time when he turned his attention back to the river, his heart stopped.
The man had finally moved away from the protection of his horse. He was in plain sight now, completely in view. This was his chance, Hidan thought, finger tightening on the trigger. He would have squeezed and let that ball rip through the other man’s chest, but something about the figure in the water made him stop.
It was a figure alright, but not just any figure. It was magnificent.
Hidan lowered the bayonet, now letting it rest completely on the dry earth. His finger still touched that trigger, but he had no intention of shooting just yet. Instead, he let his eyes feast upon the man he had come here to kill.
His body was made entirely of muscle, as perfect as Adonis, contours chiseled in all the right places. This was the type of body Hidan had seen only on statues, sculpted by the great artists, existent only in the mind’s eye. But here he was, staring straight at a bronzed Greek God. The man’s shoulders were broad, gently caressed by the ends of his shoulder-length black hair. His chest supported the most perfectly toned pectorals he’d ever seen, and those abs were something to gawk at. And his legs? They looked strong, thighs and calves perfectly toned. Hidan noticed two black lines drawn close to the man’s wrists; tattoos that probably meant something in their tribe but to which he was oblivious. The only oddity about the man’s body, Hidan noticed, were the numerous markings that covered it. Those weren’t tattoos - they were stitches. Hidan wondered what could have caused them. Had he been sliced during the last battle where he was said to have slain sixty of their men? It was possible. But so many stitches? Was a man allowed to live that long before he died of his wounds…?
He moved an inch closer, parting the grass that concealed his presence just a little way. He wanted a better look at the man’s face. The stranger seemed to always walk with his head bent facing the water, as if searching for something. Was he fishing? Probably not, Hidan figured. He carried no weapon. Hidan frowned, impatient again. He wanted the man to move that hair away from his face. He wanted to see him.
But luck was cruel to him, and the demigod continued to either look away, or hang his head down. “Tch, bastard.” Hidan shifted, now resting on his elbows, the bayonet still close at hand.
And while Hidan waited until he was granted an opportunity to see this man’s face, the focus of his attention began to stride deeper into the water, letting the river swallow that bronzed body inch by inch until that loin cloth - the only piece of garment visible - was in line with the water. A flick of the savage’s wrist was all it took to undo the knot that held it in place and the tiny garment slipped away. He caught it before it could escape his reach and turned, flinging it across so that it landed wetly on the back of his horse. The animal grunted and splashed, its front legs restless for a bit while its master laughed at the animal’s reaction.
The laugh brought Hidan back to his original train of thought and refocused his gaze on the man. What he saw made his heart skip a beat and he refused to breathe lest his breath would be heard and the man would turn away from him. He was finally facing him! From his spot on the ground, Hidan took in that handsome smile, the angular jaw, the piercing green eyes, and a curious line of stitches running across both sides of the man’s face starting at the corners of his mouth and ending somewhere close to his ears.
Slowly, he let his gaze fall, following the man’s neck, his collar, shoulder, perfect chest and body and yes - Hidan’s eyes finally rested on what the cloth had been hiding from view. He exhaled, long and low. Yes, this man was Adonis himself. His finger left the trigger and his hand left the rifle. Daring himself to get a better look, he lifted his head by an inch, still well hidden by the long grass. He pulled himself forward to rest firmly on his elbows, gaining better leverage.
And it was at that moment that a stone decided to roll away from nearby and fall into the water with a very distinct plop.
Hidan froze.
He saw the man tense as well, immediately training his ears to the source of the sound. Shit shit shit shit! His breathing became labored, dust rising softly in small clouds where his breath touched the ground. Fingers went instinctively to grab the rifle.
Unfortunately, the butt of his firearm hit stone and the dull thud that ensued carried off to where the other man stood. One look at the stranger told Hidan that his position had been sighted.
Not waiting to hang around for even a second longer, he grabbed his weapon and turned to run, crouching low and as stealthily as he possibly could as he moved away from the grass and into the wooded area. He dared not look back.
But, as stated earlier, luck was cruel to him, and no sooner than when he had reached the first clump of trees in the thick woods, he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. The next moment found him slammed against the trunk of a tree and face-to-face with the Chief’s son.
“Oh fuck…” he muttered under his breath.
The stranger looked at him quizzically, head tilted to a side and one eyebrow arched. It seemed he didn’t recognize that word.
“Let me go,” he gritted, glaring at his captive. He clutched the rifle in his hand tighter, acknowledging its presence. “Or I’ll shoot.” He knew the native didn’t carry a weapon so it was safe to threaten. His only hope was that the man didn’t just raise his hand and snap his neck.
However, the only reaction he earned from the other man was a short laugh. “If you wanted to shoot, you would have done so.” He smiled at Hidan as he watched the fair man’s features display shock at the realization that he could speak their language. “You chose to let go of your opportunity.” The accent was distinctly different, but it was perfect English nevertheless.
Another short laugh. “Mm, yes. I can speak your language. I see you are surprised. You see,” his smile now changed into a smirk. “If it takes us ‘savages’ less than a year to learn your language, then it must not be so… special”
Hidan frowned at the man, about to retort, but was cut short immediately when the tall warrior leaned forward and pressed his lips to his ear. Hidan’s breathing sped up, chest rising and falling erratically at the sensation. Furthermore, he was also unsure if the man was about to chew his ear off. He was a savage, wasn’t he? “What are you..?! Let… Let go of me! I’ll shoot!” The hand that held the bayonet instinctively rose, but a distinct crack and sharp pain to his wrist followed not long after, resulting in him dropping the weapon to the forest floor with a clatter that sent birds flying out of their nests.
“Don’t lie. Why do the white men always lie?” The warrior’s breath was hot against his ear and Hidan felt his cheeks get warmer. “I know why you refused your chance…”
“Y-you do..?” he croaked out, wincing against the pain of his broken wrist, and also secretly reveling in the feeling of this perfectly sculpted body flush against him. Naked.
The warrior merely smiled. “Mm.” One long, slender finger trailed down Hidan’s heaving chest and onto his groin where his breeches hid a very visible bulge.
“O-oh. Oh no.”
The taller man grinned. “Oh yes.”
“No. No no no no no!” Hidan squirmed as his breeches were undone and that bronzed hand slipped in comfortably. “Just because you can speak English doesn’t give you the right to put your hands in my mmmmh~ OH FUCK!”
His scream carried through the entire forest, followed by a very loud “Was it that obvious?!”
“I could tell from where I stood, in the river.”
“Stop lying bastard, I was lying down. You didn’t see anything!”
“Only white men lie.”
“That’s a lie! You… you…”
“Kakuzu.”
“Oh. Nnngh~! A-ah ‘m Hidan. Ouch fuck! My hand!”
“Will you be quiet? You are scaring the birds and the squirrels. Hidan.”
“Like I give a fuck about what they think.”
“Your own people might hear you.”
“Oh. Oh.. that would be bad.”
“Yes.”
“….”
“I didn’t think you’d be…”
“Stop comparing sizes and get on with it MMPH~!”
Oh, and just so we're clear, what happens in the forest after that is consensual. It's not rape, sorry |D Hidan's screams are due to his surprise - he's just overreacting because it's just too good to be true rofl.
But yes, it is safe to assume that Hidan pulled a John Smith move and saved Kakuzu's tribe from going into battle with the settlers. And somewhere down the road, Kakuzu sang Colors of the Wind to enlighten Hidan about the way of a balanced world