That's quacktastic

[instagrat]

I just received a "foot consultation" from a chiropractor.

Let me just say, before I begin my rant, that while I was growing up, I frequently visited a chiropractor who cracked my back and did great things to quickly and effectively relieve the pain I would have in my back due to injury or otherwise.

It wasn't until my psycho ex gave me the name of an "incredible" chiropractor that I ever heard the term "adjustment." It was upon meeting this chiropractor that I discovered that there was a commercial and fraudulent side of chiropractic. My back was killing me when I first went to see this doctor. I had hoped I could go there and he'd make an effort to make me feel better.

Visit 1 ($20 co-pay, Thursday): We talked about the problems I was having and what diagnostic measures needed to be taken. So we scheduled an appointment for diagnosis.

Visit 2 ($20 co-pay, the next day): He exposed me to a dangerous level of radiation during a "full spine" x-ray, a practice that has doubtful diagnostic value. Then, I was told it would take him some time to analyze the x-rays. So we scheduled an appointment to discuss it.

Visit 3 ($20 co-pay, the next Monday): He explained to me what was wrong with my back and what needed to be done and that he had time the next day to perform the treatment. Though now completely skeptical of these repeated follow-up appointments AND having had my back heal on its own over the weekend, I scheduled the appointment.

Visit 4 ($20 co-pay, Tuesday): I sat in a chiropractic chair in his lobby and he cracked my neck using a method involving a rapid rotation of the head and neck, which I now know has greater potential for injury than other effective types of therapy. And though I didn't know it was dangerous at the time, it was still scary. Imagine a karate movie where the good guy nonchalantly and quietly kills the security guard outside the secret warehouse. That's what it must have looked like. And then of course, he told me I'd need a follow-up appointment. I said sure, but never showed up again.

Now, back to my foot consultation. This was free as the "doctor" had set up a display as part of this National Employee Health Awareness week thing. First, he shows me that one hip is set about 1/2 inch higher than the other. Then, he proceeds to have me stand with my weight on particular parts of my feet while I held my arm out and he pushed it down. On some weight stances, he'd push my arm down hard and my arm would fall. Others, he'd hardly push and my arm wouldn't move. Then, and I swear I am not making this up, he had me do the same weight stances while he shined a laser on my legs. Then he had me take a few steps back and forth while he shined the laser on my legs.

Stupid.

Then, he shows me that my hips are now in perfect alignment and also has me hold out my arm in the weight stances while he demonstrates that he can no longer push my arm down -- of course, he was pushing down on my arms with comparatively little effort.

He tells me the treatment should last about an hour or so. In that time, I have made an effort to research this stupid ass laser therapy. Well, in my research, I found a position paper on Chiropractic. I highly recommend reading that paper if you've ever been to a chiropractor. I've included perhaps the most valuable part of the paper below if you aren't interested in the whole paper. In summary, the paper says that the industry has essentially been flooded with entrepreneurs willing to use any unscientific therapeutic fad to make a buck and that the only legitimate treatment is conservative methods of manipulation therapy (back cracking, a.k.a. adjustments) to reduce back pain -- but will not help with treating or preventing disease, cancer, appendicitis, arthritis, etc., etc. Period.

Obviously this stupid laser treatment did not "fix" my posture or anything else in the 3 seconds in scanned across my legs. I doubt the laser even penetrated my clothing, much less the outer layers of my skin.

From the paper:

A scientific chiropractor will:

1. Advance only methods of diagnosis and treatment which have a scientific basis.
2. Openly disclaim the nonscientific 'subluxation theory'.
3. Restrict the scope of practice to neuromusculoskeletal problems loosely defined as Type M conditions (i.e. muscle spasms, strains, sprains, fatigue, imbalance of strength and flexibility, stretched or irritated nerve tissue, and so forth) recognizing that some Type M problems will fall outside the scope of even a scientific chiropractor.
4. Work closely with medical practitioners, consulting with them on cases involving possible pathology and readily referring when reasonable and prudent.
5. Use conservative methods of manipulative therapy.
6. Avoid exposing patients to unnecessary radiation.
7. Work to increase public awareness about abuses by non-scientific chiropractors.
8. Help other chiropractors become more scientific in their approaches to health care delivery.
9. Work to prohibit unqualified practitioners of all kinds from performing manipulation.
10. Aid in the prosecution of alleged malpractice.

Scientific chiropractors will not:

1. Use the title "doctor" in such a way as to mislead someone to believe the practitioner is other than a chiropractor.
2. Induce anyone to believe that a chiropractor should be consulted first in preference to a medical practitioner in respect to any disease or disorder.
3. Induce anyone to believe that chiropractic adjustment will cure or alleviate infectious diseases, arthritis, cancer, diabetes, nutritional deficiencies or excesses, appendicitis, blood disorders, kidney diseases, gall bladder problems, hypertension, ulcers, heart disease or other non-Type M conditions.
4. Fail to take reasonable steps to advise a patient to consult or continue consulting a medical practitioner when engaged by someone requiring medical care.
5. Publish or publicly exhibit any circular extolling non-scientific chiropractic treatment or preventive care.
6. Condemn without scientific justification public health measures such as fluoridation, immunization, pasteurization of milk, etc.
7. Use their status as a health professional to sell or profit from the sale of products to patients.
8. Excessively treat patients.
9. Present themselves as specialists in pediatrics or claim the ability to treat children's diseases.
10. Claim that chiropractic adjustments will help raise resistance to disease or prolong life without valid evidence.
11. Claim to be a "(w)holistic" practitioner.
12. Claim to be qualified as a "family practitioner."
13. Practice obstetrics.
14. Claim to be qualified to administer mental health care.
15. Utilize unproven*, disproven, or questionable methods, devices, and products such as adjusting machines, applied kinesiology, chelation therapy, colonic irrigation, computerized nutrition deficiency tests, cranial osteopathy, cytotoxic food allergy testing, DMSO, gerovital, glandular therapy, hair analysis, herbal crystalization analyses, homeopathy, internal managements, iridology, laser beam acupuncture, laetrile, magnetic therapy, Moire contourographic analysis, Neurothermograph, orthomolecular therapy, pendulum divination, pyramid power, "Reams" test, reflexology, scleraglyphics, Spinal column stressology, Thermography Thermoscribe, Toffness device, and so forth.

*Except on an approved experimental basis in which patients are fully-informed about risk-benefits, protocols are monitored by an Independent Committee, and patients are not charged a fee for services or products.
Recommendations

NCAHF believes that a health care delivery system as confused and poorly regulated as is chiropractic constitutes a major consumer health problem.  The fact is that practitioners possess useful skills in manipulative therapy, and the apparent need for such skills provides an opportunity for a constructive solution.  The chiropractic problem is so broad-based that every segment of the community involved with health care - scientifically, economically, legally, or educationally - must inject itself into the chiropractic controversy. Only a comprehensive approach to a solution has any hope of succeeding. For this reason NCAHF makes the following recommendations:
To consumers:

1. As consumers you are largely at your own risk when choosing a practitioner of any kind because the law offers more protection to providers than consumers.  Therefore choose health-care practitioners carefully - particularly a chiropractor.
2. Distinguish between manipulative therapy per se and treatment based upon the specious chiropractic theory.  Be alert to the fact that, although manipulatlve therapy has distinct value in the treatment of back pain and may provide subjective relief on other chronic conditions, and chiropractors are educated and trained in manipulation, they represent but one source of this service.  If you do choose a chiropractor, ask him/her to work closely with your medical doctor.
3. Chiropractic theory is nonscientific, and most chiropractors have not been taught to practice on the basis of the same body of knowledge about health and disease recognized by health scientists around the world.
4. Understand that some chiropractic treatments involve considerable risk.   Manipulation involving the rapid rotation of the head and neck or sudden movements have greater potential for injury than more conservative types of therapy.  Do not submit to a "full spine" x-ray.  This practice has doubtful diagnostic value, and the radiation exposure may have long range dangers.
5. Be aware that many chiropractors engage in nonscientific practices which can result in unnecessary expense.  Also, nonscientific practitioners may delay the proper treatment of serious disorders causing excessive debility or needless death.
6. Beware of chiropractors who advertise about "danger signals that indicate the need for chiropractic care," make claims about cures, try to get patients to sign contracts for lengthy treatment, promote regular preventive "adjustments," use scare tactics, or disparage conventional health care.
7. Demand that your legislative representative introduce and/or support laws that provide greater consumer protection in health care.