(no subject)
Just sitting here Sitting here in rememberance of all the times I've had. With everybody. Chances are if you're reading this I'm remembering a time I've had with you. I've hung out with a damn lot of people in my day. And I don't know why it's all flooding back to me right now, but it is, and it's kinda cool. Really obscure and random shit. Places I've been, thing's I've seen or done. People all over the place. The scary thing is I ain't even that popular. Them kids got a lot of responsibility in school. A lot of faces and people and shit, even phone numbers to remember. It's funny, sitting here thinking of people you haven't been around in a long time. You can really start to miss them. What is missing someone though? If you go to dictionary.com they'll tell you that you're feeling the lack or the loss of... But I think it's more than that. I think it's not just a thing you miss. You notice a series of perfect instances occurring one right after another and it can't happen again. That's shit. You can't relive that. You can live other perfect instances happening one right after the other, whether they last a day or a few minutes. Right now I'm not having a bunch of perfect seconds happen one right after the other, so I put myself back in a place and time where I was. There will be endless ones to come, but you still remember those people and those times. You don't erase one good memory with the coming of another. I wonder what would happen if you took all of someone's good feelings they ever had and smashed them with them all at once. They would probably explode. If you did the same with all their grief and bad times, they'd implode. And can you walk around in a constant daze of reminiscence and consider yourself happy living in the past? I don't, because I don't need to. I was just wondering if anybody has. Memory is such a wierd concept, and the idea of "missing" people you've lost or who've changed is also interesting. Is it healthy, to sit here this night and let these memories taunt me, the "missing I feel shit on my shoes? I can't have some of these days back. They'll never exist, and that's something nobody likes to hear, whether you're having a better life at the moment or not. I'm happy with the way things have gone. I can't say I couldn't have asked for better, because everybody could, but that's greedy. And I just had an add moment and lost where I was going with that... Fuck I need ritalin or some shit. Thoughts are scattered.