that gradual end that always seemed so far ahead is here. my emotions vary between regret, nervousness, impatience, and excitedness. i'm not sure what i want anymore but more than anything i'm afraid i'll never figure it out.
Make sure you do something, anything, I blew a whole year and regretted it. As long as what you are doing at any moment you feel is important is deamed worthy by yourself then it is worth it. You now have college to look forward to, the sheer flow of intellect should be enough to stimulate you, coupled with the people you meet and the change of scenery. It's just the end of a small part of your life, don't dwell on it, there is so much more out there. I also think it's impossible not to figure out what you want to do. Outside forces have an influence on what you do but at the centre of it all is always you. You know deep down what you want to do and those outside forces can only push you so far. In the end though your inner being and those outside forces will collude to form something or get you some place that you will either absolutely enjoy or just meerly be content with
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