Counting Blessings; Onew/Jonghyun
Jonghyun is thankful to have Jinki in his life.
Author's Note: inspired by Jonghyun on Blue Night (17-18/4). i hope i got the dates right... but basically, jjong talking about the sewol ferry disaster just made my heart ache even more. and so this happened. just wanted him to get some love. thoughts and prayers are with South Korea. #PrayForSouthKorea
When Jonghyun first began his radio show, his mother or sister, and sometimes the both of them together, would wait up for him and welcome him home. But Blue Night is a daily radio show and understandably, his family can’t afford the late nights when they have work to get to in the early morning. A few more hours of sleep make a huge difference for his mother and sister. And so, after a couple of late nights, Jonghyun decides that he doesn’t want the two women he loves the most to lose precious sleep just to welcome him home.
One night, he casually tells them not to wait up anymore and apparently, they take his advice very well. Lately, they’ve both stopped waiting up for him and the only family who is there for Jonghyun when he gets back in the wee hours of the morning is Roo. On any other night, Jonghyun is perfectly fine with returning to his dog wagging its tail and jumping into his lap. Roo may not be able to talk but she sure as hell understands him.
Tonight is different though.
Tonight he needs more than just the company of Roo.
It has been a rough day following the news of the Sewol ferry disaster. It hurts knowing that the only thing he can do to help the victims is pray. When he thinks about the missing passengers who are generally younger than him, Jonghyun’s heart is heavy. How could a what was supposed to be happy field trip turn out like this? As he scrolls through the devastating news, he doesn’t even realise that his face is stained with tears. When night falls, it doesn’t get any easier as he reads the various messages listeners send in. The mood in the radio station has never been this solemn. Everyone is feeling as helpless as him. The whole nation is grieving. What can he do? What can they do? Nothing.
Jonghyun’s on air, but he can’t control his emotions and it shows in his voice. It takes everything in him not to stop and break down as he hosts Blue Night. When the show ends, Jonghyun can’t wait to go home. At the same time, he doesn’t want to go home. He needs his family, wants to tell them again how much he loves them, but he knows they are already asleep. Jonghyun doesn’t want to wake them up only to have them worry about him and his emotional state. It’s bad enough he’s feeling miserable, he doesn’t need his family to be sad with him. Jonghyun doesn’t have the heart to wake them up and so he reaches home with an ever heavier heart, dreading what he knows will be a sleepless night ahead.
Jonghyun opens the door, mind occupied with a million thoughts, that he doesn’t even realise Roo’s missing. Naturally, he also doesn’t notice someone is actually waiting up for him. It’s only when he’s about to turn off the light his family has left on for him that he hears his name being called by his favourite voice that never fails to calm him.
“Jjong?”
He looks up towards the direction of the voice and finds the last person he expects to see in his house. Their eyes meet.
“Jinki.” Jonghyun breathes out, surprised.
They’re standing a distance away from each other - Jinki in the living room while Jonghyun is still stuck at the hallway - but the house is so silent that every sound is heard loud and clear. A small smile appears on Jinki’s face. No words are necessary when they both walk towards each other and Jinki is the first to wrap his arms around Jonghyun.
Jonghyun breathes in Jinki’s comforting scent and mutters out loud, “Thought you would be sound asleep in the dorm…”
“I tried sleeping… but…” Jinki tightens his hug around Jonghyun, “I just needed to see you… and I’m guessing you’re happy to see me?”
“Nope, not happy.” Jonghyun answers seriously before he laughs, tears welling up in his eyes as he circles his arms tighter around Jinki’s slender waist, “I’m overjoyed, hyung.”
“You’re handsome when you smile, baby.” Jinki whispers into Jonghyun’s ear and as he moves back, presses a light kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek.
Jonghyun knows that’s Jinki way to tell him not to be sad. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t have to say anything for Jinki to understand what’s troubling him.
Jinki wraps his arms loosely around Jonghyun and smiles, “Care to give up half your bed to me tonight?”
A smile spreads across Jonghyun’s face, “Sure, I’ll even throw in one Kim Jonghyun just for you.”
“Sounds perfect.” Jinki says as he takes Jonghyun’s hand and leads them both towards Jonghyun’s room, “And since you’re so nice, I’ll lend you a listening ear, and if you need, a shoulder to cry on too.”
“Hyung.” Jonghyun simply calls out as he tugs on Jinki’s hand and stops him in his footsteps.
Jinki turns towards Jonghyun and although he can roughly guess what his boyfriend wants to say, he questions, “Yeah?”
“I don’t say it much but I-”
Jinki nods, “I know.”
“I love you.” Jonghyun says out loud even though Jinki has already guessed it, “So much, more than you can imagine.”
“Me too.” Jinki’s eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiles softly.
“And I’m thankful to be…” Jonghyun swallows hard, unable to finish his sentence, and he immediately looks down.
Jinki squeezes his boyfriend’s hand and uses his free hand to tilt Jonghyun’s face back up. Just as he expected, tears are falling down Jonghyun’s face. Letting Jonghyun’s hand go, Jinki naturally reaches out to cup Jonghyun’s face in his warm hands and wipes the tears with his thumbs before he leans forward and kisses Jonghyun lightly. It’s silent for a while as Jonghyun tries to compose himself.
And when Jonghyun finally lets out a huge breath and forces a smile on his face, Jinki leans his forehead against his and says, “Come on, you look like you need sleep.”
“You must think I’m silly, don’t you?” Jonghyun sniffs.
“No…” Jinki replies with a grin, “It’s pretty much the reason why I love you. And day after day, I thank my lucky stars that I’m able to love you this lifetime…”
Jonghyun bites his bottom lip.
“Oh Jjong, don’t cry!”
“I’m not!”
“Baby.” Jinki teases.
Jonghyun has nothing to say in his defence and so, he kisses Jinki and heads straight into his room after. Shaking his head, Jinki follows behind with a smile.
Sleep doesn’t come easy that night but both of them count their blessings instead, finding comfort in each other’s arms, thankful to love, thankful to be loved, thankful to be alive.
Author's Note: inspired by Jonghyun on Blue Night (17-18/4). i hope i got the dates right... but basically, jjong talking about the sewol ferry disaster just made my heart ache even more. and so this happened. just wanted him to get some love. thoughts and prayers are with South Korea. #PrayForSouthKorea
When Jonghyun first began his radio show, his mother or sister, and sometimes the both of them together, would wait up for him and welcome him home. But Blue Night is a daily radio show and understandably, his family can’t afford the late nights when they have work to get to in the early morning. A few more hours of sleep make a huge difference for his mother and sister. And so, after a couple of late nights, Jonghyun decides that he doesn’t want the two women he loves the most to lose precious sleep just to welcome him home.
One night, he casually tells them not to wait up anymore and apparently, they take his advice very well. Lately, they’ve both stopped waiting up for him and the only family who is there for Jonghyun when he gets back in the wee hours of the morning is Roo. On any other night, Jonghyun is perfectly fine with returning to his dog wagging its tail and jumping into his lap. Roo may not be able to talk but she sure as hell understands him.
Tonight is different though.
Tonight he needs more than just the company of Roo.
It has been a rough day following the news of the Sewol ferry disaster. It hurts knowing that the only thing he can do to help the victims is pray. When he thinks about the missing passengers who are generally younger than him, Jonghyun’s heart is heavy. How could a what was supposed to be happy field trip turn out like this? As he scrolls through the devastating news, he doesn’t even realise that his face is stained with tears. When night falls, it doesn’t get any easier as he reads the various messages listeners send in. The mood in the radio station has never been this solemn. Everyone is feeling as helpless as him. The whole nation is grieving. What can he do? What can they do? Nothing.
Jonghyun’s on air, but he can’t control his emotions and it shows in his voice. It takes everything in him not to stop and break down as he hosts Blue Night. When the show ends, Jonghyun can’t wait to go home. At the same time, he doesn’t want to go home. He needs his family, wants to tell them again how much he loves them, but he knows they are already asleep. Jonghyun doesn’t want to wake them up only to have them worry about him and his emotional state. It’s bad enough he’s feeling miserable, he doesn’t need his family to be sad with him. Jonghyun doesn’t have the heart to wake them up and so he reaches home with an ever heavier heart, dreading what he knows will be a sleepless night ahead.
Jonghyun opens the door, mind occupied with a million thoughts, that he doesn’t even realise Roo’s missing. Naturally, he also doesn’t notice someone is actually waiting up for him. It’s only when he’s about to turn off the light his family has left on for him that he hears his name being called by his favourite voice that never fails to calm him.
“Jjong?”
He looks up towards the direction of the voice and finds the last person he expects to see in his house. Their eyes meet.
“Jinki.” Jonghyun breathes out, surprised.
They’re standing a distance away from each other - Jinki in the living room while Jonghyun is still stuck at the hallway - but the house is so silent that every sound is heard loud and clear. A small smile appears on Jinki’s face. No words are necessary when they both walk towards each other and Jinki is the first to wrap his arms around Jonghyun.
Jonghyun breathes in Jinki’s comforting scent and mutters out loud, “Thought you would be sound asleep in the dorm…”
“I tried sleeping… but…” Jinki tightens his hug around Jonghyun, “I just needed to see you… and I’m guessing you’re happy to see me?”
“Nope, not happy.” Jonghyun answers seriously before he laughs, tears welling up in his eyes as he circles his arms tighter around Jinki’s slender waist, “I’m overjoyed, hyung.”
“You’re handsome when you smile, baby.” Jinki whispers into Jonghyun’s ear and as he moves back, presses a light kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek.
Jonghyun knows that’s Jinki way to tell him not to be sad. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t have to say anything for Jinki to understand what’s troubling him.
Jinki wraps his arms loosely around Jonghyun and smiles, “Care to give up half your bed to me tonight?”
A smile spreads across Jonghyun’s face, “Sure, I’ll even throw in one Kim Jonghyun just for you.”
“Sounds perfect.” Jinki says as he takes Jonghyun’s hand and leads them both towards Jonghyun’s room, “And since you’re so nice, I’ll lend you a listening ear, and if you need, a shoulder to cry on too.”
“Hyung.” Jonghyun simply calls out as he tugs on Jinki’s hand and stops him in his footsteps.
Jinki turns towards Jonghyun and although he can roughly guess what his boyfriend wants to say, he questions, “Yeah?”
“I don’t say it much but I-”
Jinki nods, “I know.”
“I love you.” Jonghyun says out loud even though Jinki has already guessed it, “So much, more than you can imagine.”
“Me too.” Jinki’s eyes crinkle in the corners as he smiles softly.
“And I’m thankful to be…” Jonghyun swallows hard, unable to finish his sentence, and he immediately looks down.
Jinki squeezes his boyfriend’s hand and uses his free hand to tilt Jonghyun’s face back up. Just as he expected, tears are falling down Jonghyun’s face. Letting Jonghyun’s hand go, Jinki naturally reaches out to cup Jonghyun’s face in his warm hands and wipes the tears with his thumbs before he leans forward and kisses Jonghyun lightly. It’s silent for a while as Jonghyun tries to compose himself.
And when Jonghyun finally lets out a huge breath and forces a smile on his face, Jinki leans his forehead against his and says, “Come on, you look like you need sleep.”
“You must think I’m silly, don’t you?” Jonghyun sniffs.
“No…” Jinki replies with a grin, “It’s pretty much the reason why I love you. And day after day, I thank my lucky stars that I’m able to love you this lifetime…”
Jonghyun bites his bottom lip.
“Oh Jjong, don’t cry!”
“I’m not!”
“Baby.” Jinki teases.
Jonghyun has nothing to say in his defence and so, he kisses Jinki and heads straight into his room after. Shaking his head, Jinki follows behind with a smile.
Sleep doesn’t come easy that night but both of them count their blessings instead, finding comfort in each other’s arms, thankful to love, thankful to be loved, thankful to be alive.