Irreversible; Minho/Key
To fall in love...
"The use of the term 'fall' implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible..."
▶
They’ve been on the roads for at least half an hour when Kibum finally pays attention to his surroundings and starts to recognise the street they are on. If he didn’t have a good feeling when he received the call from Minho earlier, he certainly doesn’t have a good feeling about getting into Minho’s car now. The sky may be dark but the street lights illuminate the area they’re driving through. The moment they drive past the street sign, Kibum’s heart drops. He may have never been to Minho’s house before but he knows exactly where it is. Right now, Kibum is absolutely certain Minho is driving through the neighbourhood where he and his family live.
“Stop the car.” Kibum says, sounding eerily calm as he stares at the road in front of him.
“Kibum.”
“I said stop the car, Minho!” Glaring at Minho, Kibum shouts, panic now in his voice, “What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t bring me to your house. Are you out of your mind? I shouldn’t even be here right now. Stop driving!”
Minho doesn’t listen but he does drive slower.
Keeping his eyes on the road, Minho lets out a breath and reveals, “She wants to meet you, Kibum.”
Kibum’s eyes widen as he stutters, “Y- you c-can’t be serious.”
“I wish I wasn’t.” Minho mumbles, hands tightly clenched on the steering wheel, “But she knows about you, Bum, she wants to meet you… It’s one thing she wants from me before we go our separate ways... we’re… in the midst of a divorce.”
In a split second, Kibum feels like someone has kicked him in the stomach. Minho has dropped a bombshell on him by announcing his divorce. All at once, Kibum decides that he has heard enough but at the same time, it’s like there’s so much more he needs to know. How has so much happened in these two, almost, three months since their affair ended? They haven’t spoken since then and Kibum honestly believes they have both moved on and gone back to their normal lives. How can he be so silly, thinking that their affair managed to end without hurting anyone? Kibum should have known that the damage has already been done right from the start. Obviously, he has fooled himself into believing that everything is alright. Talk about wishful thinking.
Now that he knows where Minho is bringing him to, Kibum has to face reality. It’s his mistake and he’ll do whatever he can to make things right (if he can even make things right). But first, Kibum needs his questions answered. Minho can’t just leave things like this and bring him to his wife. There’s just so much more Minho has to explain.
“Minho, stop the car, damn it!” Kibum demands, losing his temper, “You can’t just say that and expect me to go meet your wife-”
“Ex-wife.” Minho interrupts wryly.
“Minho.” Kibum pleads desperately, sounding like he’s about to break down, and Minho finally pulls the car to the side of the road.
As the car stops, Kibum takes in a deep breath.
“Tell me…” Kibum turns towards Minho the same time Minho looks at him, “What happened?”
“She noticed…” Minho begins and Kibum’s face pales, “After you ended things between us, I wasn’t happy. And it showed… I wasn’t being a good husband. I tried though, I tried to make the marriage work… tried to give my daughter a loving home but she noticed. When she asked, I couldn’t lie to her anymore. I told her everything, Kibum.”
Minho smiles bitterly, eyes looking beyond Kibum as he comments, “Funny how she didn’t notice a thing when we were having an affair and only realised after…”
“Minho, don’t be like this.” Kibum shakes his head, hating how Minho was covering his sadness with sarcasm, “You’re obviously hurting and-”
“I feel bad, Bum.” Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, Minho chokes up and has to pause for a second or two before he confesses, “I don’t feel sad that I’m getting a divorce, you know? Truth is, I don’t even want to save this marriage when we’re obviously not going to be happy together anymore...”
Kibum wants to reach out to comfort Minho but he can’t. He’s the reason why Minho is in this state. He remembers how their affair had taken its toll on Minho especially during the last few weeks they spent together.
They had been together for slightly more than 6 months when Kibum decided it had to come to an end. He couldn’t bear being the reason for Minho’s troubles. It was a decision he didn’t want to make but had to make. Kibum learnt that loving Minho meant letting go.
And he has; it’s been difficult but Kibum has done everything he possibly can to let go of what he had with Minho. He’ll just ruin it all right now if he gives in and reaches out to hug Minho.
“I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?” Minho finally looks up and asks, “For not even feeling sad that I’m getting a divorce?”
Kibum can’t find the words to speak. If Minho thinks he is a horrible person, what does that make him? With the answer appearing in his mind, Kibum’s eyes fill up with tears, guilt eating away at him. Knowing he doesn’t deserve to cry, he tries to stop the tears from falling but it’s a lost cause.
“Why…” Kibum quickly wipes his tears away as he forces himself to speak, “-does she want to see me? I would think I’m the last person she wants to meet.”
“I don’t know, Kibum.” Minho replies, “She just told me she wants to see you… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to pull you into this but she insisted so I…”
Kibum nods, “I’ll meet her… it’s what I need to do.”
“If you-”
“It’s too late now, Minho.” Knowing Minho is having second thoughts about bringing him to meet his (ex) wife especially after seeing him cry, Kibum instantly stops him from changing his mind and shakes his head before he orders, “Just drive.”
Minho looks at him for a moment, trying to read his thoughts; but it’s clear. Kibum’s mind is made up. There’s no going back.
⏩
Way past her bedtime, a five year old sleeps soundly in her bedroom, unaware that there are three adults stuck in an awkward situation outside in the living room. They look comfortable, seated on the sofa, Jiwon sitting on one end while Minho sits between her and Kibum who’s on the other end, but the atmosphere is anything but comfortable.
“Minho, stop looking at me as if I’m going to hurt him.” Jiwon stares amusedly at her ex-husband, “I just want to talk.”
“Why can’t I be around then?” Minho questions, protective of Kibum once he realises his ex-wife wants to speak to him alone.
“Because I don’t want you to be around,” Jiwon answers stubbornly before she laughs sadly, “And come on, I’ve hit you enough times to know I’m just going to hurt myself in the end. Relax, Minho, I won’t do anything to him.”
Minho frowns, “Jiwon, you know I-”
Losing her patience, Jiwon raises her hand and interrupts Minho, “Shut up and just leave us alone alright?”
Minho looks at Kibum who has been too quiet the entire time. Their eyes meet for a brief second but it’s enough for Minho to make a decision.
“I’ll be in the room.”
Letting out a breath, Minho finally leaves the living room.
Upon hearing the door close, Jiwon turns to properly acknowledge Kibum.
“Do you think I’ll hit you too?”
“I don’t think that’s what Minho was thinking… but I won’t be surprised if you do.”
“Maybe if you were a woman, I wouldn’t think twice about hitting you but…” Jiwon laughs at her own joke but when she realises how awkward she is in front of a completely serious Kibum, she stops.
Letting out a huge breath, Jiwon then clears her throat and restarts their conversation.
“Kibum-ssi?”
“Yes?”
“Look at me.”
Kibum wants to but he can’t. He’s too ashamed.
“I’m sor-”
“Please don’t.” Shaking her head, Jiwon stops him from apologising, “I’ve heard enough apologies from Minho and I’m honestly sick of it. I’ve asked to meet you not because I want to hear you say you’re sorry… You must think I’m insane but I really just wanted to meet you personally... just to be sure.”
“…why?” Kibum asks, puzzled.
“For my daughter.” Jiwon sounds as determined as she looks.
Kibum finally looks up, stunned.
“If there’s one thing Minho and I still have in common, it’s that we both love our daughter very much.” Jiwon smiles upon thinking of her baby girl, “Our marriage has failed but we still have the ability to bring her up in a happy home… or two, for that matter.”
Kibum frowns, not understanding what this has got to do with him. He doesn’t say anything but Jiwon can tell what he’s thinking.
“Minho loves you.” Jiwon goes straight to the point, “I can tell he wants to be with you… and if you two end up together…”
“We’re not together.” Kibum interrupts.
“Not now, I know.” Jiwon says, “But in the future…”
Kibum shakes his head, “Jiwon-ssi, I won’t be with him.”
Jiwon is surprised at the resolve in Kibum’s voice.
“Do you not love him?”
“I-”
“Kibum-ssi, there’s such a thing as a happy divorce, you know?” Jiwon shares her thoughts, “I’m not going to lie, there was a point in time I felt like killing you for ruining my marriage and making me lose my husband. But it’s tiring… tiring to hold a grudge, even more tiring to make something work when it isn’t just the same anymore. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in an environment where her parents don’t love each other.”
“You still love Minho.” Kibum mutters out loud, disagreeing with her last sentence because he understands exactly how Jiwon feels.
Hearing what Jiwon has said so far, Kibum realises one thing. They’re in the same situation actually. They both love Minho enough to let him go.
Jiwon smiles, “Maybe… maybe not, but so what? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t love me anymore. I deserve so much better. I know I’ll be happier if I let go… so I’m moving on. And right now, I just want the best for my daughter.”
It becomes clear to Kibum why Jiwon has requested to meet him. And Kibum can’t understand why Jiwon can even entertain the idea of him being a parent to her daughter. Just the thought about Minho’s daughter meeting him, the very person who ruined her happy family, terrifies him so much that Kibum can’t breathe.
“I’m sorry, Jiwon-ssi, I think you got the wrong idea. I’m not... I’m not- I just can’t- not when I’m the reason for your divorce. I just- I’m sorry, I have to leave.”
With that, Kibum runs.
“Kibum-ssi!” Jiwon stands up from the sofa and tries to stop Kibum from leaving, “Kibum-ssi!!”
Kibum doesn’t stop and Jiwon can only watch as he leaves their house hurriedly. She doesn’t think she should be the one chasing after him but she knows who should. Jiwon quickly heads towards the rooms and is walking in the hallway when said person comes out of the room looking confused.
“I heard you shouting-”
“He left.” Jiwon interrupts anxiously and grabs Minho’s arm, “Minho, go after him.”
“What happened?” Minho asks as Jiwon drags him towards the door.
“I just wanted him to know I’m fine with you and him raising our daughter together-”
“Jiwon!”
“What?! I’m indirectly giving him my blessings and you’re angry with me?!” Jiwon punches Minho on his chest, “No. Now’s not the time for us to argue, you should check on him!”
Minho shakes his head and sighs.
“I can’t. Now’s not the right time. If I chase after him, I’ll only be pushing him away even more.” Minho explains calmly, “He thinks he’s responsible for our divorce, Jiwon. How do you expect him to be with me now?”
“Well, if you ask me, you guys were perfectly fine being together when we were married...” Jiwon points out.
“Jiwon ah, I’m-”
“Don’t.” Jiwon shoots Minho a glare, “If I hear the word sorry come out of your mouth one more time, I swear I’ll slap you.”
Minho stays silent.
“Choi Minho.”
Minho looks into his ex-wife’s eyes.
“I’m glad we’re getting a divorce.”
⏩
Kibum doesn’t know where he’s going. His mind is a complete mess as he walks down the street. He knows he should probably find his way home but he can’t think straight. He stops, breathing hard from walking too fast, and squats in the middle of the pavement. With his arms crossed over his knees, Kibum drops his head on his forearms and tries to control his breathing.
Minutes pass and Kibum hears a car pull up beside him. He knows it is Minho but he neither looks up nor runs away. Kibum just feels too exhausted to deal with anything right now. He can hear Minho come out of the car, can feel him standing close to him but Kibum isn’t ready to move just yet. He may be embarrassing himself by squatting in the middle of nowhere but that’s the least of his worries. Somehow, this is helping him breathe, and it’s what’s stopping him from breaking down entirely.
When he feels he has managed to calm himself down, Kibum stands up and meets Minho’s eyes.
“What do you want?” Kibum asks, defeated.
“I just…” Minho pauses, looking at Kibum with a pained expression, as he then swallows hard and says, “Let me send you home, Kibum.”
“That’s it?” Kibum can’t help but be suspicious of Minho’s motive.
Minho sighs, “Look, Kibum, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jiwon. She wants me to make sure you get back home safely… Given a choice, I know I’m the last person you want to see right now but-”
“Alright.”
“What?”
Kibum lets out a breath and doesn’t say anything else as he walks past Minho and opens the car door for himself.
Getting Kibum into his car may have turned out easier than Minho expected but he still can’t bring himself to feel happy. Minho knows it doesn’t mean anything.
It is just a ride back home - nothing more, nothing less.
⏩
The ride back to Kibum's apartment is completely silent until they reach his place.
“Kibum.”
Kibum is just about to open the car door when Minho calls him. He freezes in his position and doesn’t look back but it gives Minho enough courage to continue.
“Can we talk?” Minho isn’t confident but he decides to give it a try, “Please?”
It takes what feels like forever before Kibum releases his grip on the car door handle and sits back into the passenger seat.
As much as Kibum thinks they shouldn't be involved with each other anymore, he still has things he wants to ask and say to Minho too.
“What’s going to happen to you now?” Kibum begins the conversation.
“Nothing much, actually.” Minho answers honestly, “You don’t know this, Kibum, but I’ve moved out of the house more than a month ago. Jiwon and I… we agreed for our daughter to stay with her in the house. She’s still trying to understand what’s happening but we’re slowly letting her get used to the changes.”
“A month ago…?” It’s only then that Kibum realises Minho’s divorce isn’t a recent thing.
“We’ve already filed for divorce.” Minho decides to go straight to the point, “It’ll take about a month or so more before it’s finalised.”
Kibum remains silent.
Minho sighs and reaches out to hold Kibum’s hand. To his surprise, Kibum lets him and simply stares at their hands. This alone encourages Minho to say what he’s been wanting to say for the entire car ride.
“Kibum, I know what you’re thinking. That’s why I wanted to leave you alone. I didn’t want to have this talk with you so soon but… I’m scared… so scared that I’ll lose you forever if I don’t say anything right now.” Minho admits as he hold Kibum’s hand tighter, “None of this is your fault. It’s all mine. I’m the one who fell in love with you. And that’s love… it can happen at the wrong time but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen at all. We can’t control how we feel about each other. We can’t change how our heart feels. You tried, didn’t you? So you must know how I’m feeling right now… I can’t keep silent and pretend that I’m not here because I want you back-”
“Enough.” Kibum pulls his hand out of Minho’s and lets out a breath, “It’s late, I should go.”
“Kibum…”
“Minho, please, just-” Kibum bites his bottom lip as he looks at Minho for a moment before he says, “Give me more time.”
With that, Kibum finally leaves the car and heads back home while Minho can only let him go.
Until Kibum is ready, Minho will wait.
And he’ll keep waiting, no matter how long it takes, because Kibum is the only one for him.
“Choi Minho, where the hell is my daughter’s birthday cake?”
“Is the birthday cake all you care about, Kim Jiwon?” Minho questions the mother of his daughter as he holds his phone to his ear with one hand, and carries the cake along with a bag full of presents in his other.
“You’re supposed to be here an hour ago to help prepare for her party!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the damn cake shop but I’m here already alright?” Minho enters the code to his old house and opens the door for himself, “You’ll see me in a second.”
As soon as he steps in, Minho hangs up the call and heads straight into the living area, naturally assuming Jiwon will be busy putting up the decorations in the living room. However, the sight that greets him surprises him completely.
He’s right about Jiwon, because she is indeed in the living room, still holding the phone to her ear with a birthday banner hanging off her arm, but what he doesn’t expect to see is Kibum there with his daughter on the floor surrounded by party decorations.
“Finally!” Jiwon exclaims once she sees Minho and puts her phone away, “You should be thankful Kibum oppa has been here since morning being a better father than you because I wouldn’t have survived-”
“Jiwon ah!” Seeing how Minho has gone completely in shock, Kibum quickly interrupts to stop Jiwon from going on, “We should probably put the cake in the fridge first?”
“Oh right.” Jiwon agrees with a smile, “And I have to get this banner up too.”
Kibum nods, glad that he has managed to distract Jiwon. He smiles at the birthday girl and leaves her to play with the party decorations before getting up from the floor and walking towards Minho. Without saying anything, Kibum holds a confused Minho by his arm and leads him into the kitchen.
Once they’re alone in the kitchen, Kibum first takes the cake from Minho and puts the box into the fridge. When he closes the fridge and turns around, Kibum can’t say he’s surprised to see Minho glaring at him.
“I know I have a lot of explaining to do.”
It’s then that Minho loses it.
“Has it been a year, Kibum?!” Minho raises his volume loud enough for Kibum to know he’s hopping mad but not loud enough to scare his daughter outside, “I’ve been waiting the entire time with no news from you at all only to find out that you’ve been spending all of this time with my ex-wife and daughter? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Minho, I-”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Minho doesn’t care what Kibum has to say as he exclaims, “How on earth did I not know?!”
“Would you shut up?”
“No, I will not shut up because-”
“Because I love you okay?!”
Silence.
Minho stares at Kibum for a long moment until Kibum looks away and sighs.
“I did this… because I love you.” Kibum confesses as he looks at the kitchen floor, “I want to be with you, Minho, but I needed to-”
Kibum isn’t given a chance to explain himself because the next thing he knows, he is silenced with a kiss.
“You idiot.” Minho speaks against the corner of Kibum’s lips after kissing him, “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting?”
As he wraps his arms around Minho’s waist, Kibum smiles and takes the initiative to reconnect their lips.
“I know, I’m sorry, your daughter isn’t exactly the easiest to win over.” Kibum admits in between kisses.
Minho can't help but laugh as he leans his forehead against Kibum’s and hugs him closer, “Does she love you like I do now then?”
“I think... you still love me more?” Kibum answers, a little unsure.
“Yeah,” Minho replies with a light kiss on Kibum’s lips, “No one can love you more than I do.”
The smile that appears on Kibum’s face is enough for Minho to forget all about the anger he felt a while ago and realise that right here, right now is all that matters.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long…”
“It’s okay.”
“If you two lovebirds are done here, please remember we have a birthday party to host and a birthday girl wondering where her fathers are.”
Upon hearing the third voice, Kibum and Minho finally look away from each other and find Jiwon standing just outside the kitchen with her arms crossed.
“Sorry…” Kibum says as he quickly moves away from Minho.
“And please… not in front of our six year old.”
Jiwon gives both of them a pointed look before she turns around and heads back into the living area.
Minho stifles a laugh as he holds out his hand palm up in front of Kibum.
“Shall we?”
Without hesitating, Kibum slides his hand into Minho’s and interlocks their fingers together.
Finally.
They’re right where they belong.
▶
Author's Note: oh my word this is the longest fic i've written in months. i'm honestly rather proud of this. and i quite like how things turned out? after the first chapter, i didn't plan the story at all, just wrote whatever i felt like as the story progressed so... heehee. i know i fast forwarded here and there so if there's anything you'd like to ask about the fic, feel free to comment below~ i hope you guys enjoyed all 8000+ words that make up this fic!! thanks for reading this! looking forward to hearing what you guys think of it! :)
ps: in case you need to picture Minho's wife, this is Jiwon in the story. i thought i'll be easy to imagine since Jiwon played Minho's love interest before in TTBY. also, i left his daughter nameless because it was already hard enough deciding who the wife should be. >v<
"The use of the term 'fall' implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible..."
▶
They’ve been on the roads for at least half an hour when Kibum finally pays attention to his surroundings and starts to recognise the street they are on. If he didn’t have a good feeling when he received the call from Minho earlier, he certainly doesn’t have a good feeling about getting into Minho’s car now. The sky may be dark but the street lights illuminate the area they’re driving through. The moment they drive past the street sign, Kibum’s heart drops. He may have never been to Minho’s house before but he knows exactly where it is. Right now, Kibum is absolutely certain Minho is driving through the neighbourhood where he and his family live.
“Stop the car.” Kibum says, sounding eerily calm as he stares at the road in front of him.
“Kibum.”
“I said stop the car, Minho!” Glaring at Minho, Kibum shouts, panic now in his voice, “What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t bring me to your house. Are you out of your mind? I shouldn’t even be here right now. Stop driving!”
Minho doesn’t listen but he does drive slower.
Keeping his eyes on the road, Minho lets out a breath and reveals, “She wants to meet you, Kibum.”
Kibum’s eyes widen as he stutters, “Y- you c-can’t be serious.”
“I wish I wasn’t.” Minho mumbles, hands tightly clenched on the steering wheel, “But she knows about you, Bum, she wants to meet you… It’s one thing she wants from me before we go our separate ways... we’re… in the midst of a divorce.”
In a split second, Kibum feels like someone has kicked him in the stomach. Minho has dropped a bombshell on him by announcing his divorce. All at once, Kibum decides that he has heard enough but at the same time, it’s like there’s so much more he needs to know. How has so much happened in these two, almost, three months since their affair ended? They haven’t spoken since then and Kibum honestly believes they have both moved on and gone back to their normal lives. How can he be so silly, thinking that their affair managed to end without hurting anyone? Kibum should have known that the damage has already been done right from the start. Obviously, he has fooled himself into believing that everything is alright. Talk about wishful thinking.
Now that he knows where Minho is bringing him to, Kibum has to face reality. It’s his mistake and he’ll do whatever he can to make things right (if he can even make things right). But first, Kibum needs his questions answered. Minho can’t just leave things like this and bring him to his wife. There’s just so much more Minho has to explain.
“Minho, stop the car, damn it!” Kibum demands, losing his temper, “You can’t just say that and expect me to go meet your wife-”
“Ex-wife.” Minho interrupts wryly.
“Minho.” Kibum pleads desperately, sounding like he’s about to break down, and Minho finally pulls the car to the side of the road.
As the car stops, Kibum takes in a deep breath.
“Tell me…” Kibum turns towards Minho the same time Minho looks at him, “What happened?”
“She noticed…” Minho begins and Kibum’s face pales, “After you ended things between us, I wasn’t happy. And it showed… I wasn’t being a good husband. I tried though, I tried to make the marriage work… tried to give my daughter a loving home but she noticed. When she asked, I couldn’t lie to her anymore. I told her everything, Kibum.”
Minho smiles bitterly, eyes looking beyond Kibum as he comments, “Funny how she didn’t notice a thing when we were having an affair and only realised after…”
“Minho, don’t be like this.” Kibum shakes his head, hating how Minho was covering his sadness with sarcasm, “You’re obviously hurting and-”
“I feel bad, Bum.” Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, Minho chokes up and has to pause for a second or two before he confesses, “I don’t feel sad that I’m getting a divorce, you know? Truth is, I don’t even want to save this marriage when we’re obviously not going to be happy together anymore...”
Kibum wants to reach out to comfort Minho but he can’t. He’s the reason why Minho is in this state. He remembers how their affair had taken its toll on Minho especially during the last few weeks they spent together.
They had been together for slightly more than 6 months when Kibum decided it had to come to an end. He couldn’t bear being the reason for Minho’s troubles. It was a decision he didn’t want to make but had to make. Kibum learnt that loving Minho meant letting go.
And he has; it’s been difficult but Kibum has done everything he possibly can to let go of what he had with Minho. He’ll just ruin it all right now if he gives in and reaches out to hug Minho.
“I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?” Minho finally looks up and asks, “For not even feeling sad that I’m getting a divorce?”
Kibum can’t find the words to speak. If Minho thinks he is a horrible person, what does that make him? With the answer appearing in his mind, Kibum’s eyes fill up with tears, guilt eating away at him. Knowing he doesn’t deserve to cry, he tries to stop the tears from falling but it’s a lost cause.
“Why…” Kibum quickly wipes his tears away as he forces himself to speak, “-does she want to see me? I would think I’m the last person she wants to meet.”
“I don’t know, Kibum.” Minho replies, “She just told me she wants to see you… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to pull you into this but she insisted so I…”
Kibum nods, “I’ll meet her… it’s what I need to do.”
“If you-”
“It’s too late now, Minho.” Knowing Minho is having second thoughts about bringing him to meet his (ex) wife especially after seeing him cry, Kibum instantly stops him from changing his mind and shakes his head before he orders, “Just drive.”
Minho looks at him for a moment, trying to read his thoughts; but it’s clear. Kibum’s mind is made up. There’s no going back.
⏩
Way past her bedtime, a five year old sleeps soundly in her bedroom, unaware that there are three adults stuck in an awkward situation outside in the living room. They look comfortable, seated on the sofa, Jiwon sitting on one end while Minho sits between her and Kibum who’s on the other end, but the atmosphere is anything but comfortable.
“Minho, stop looking at me as if I’m going to hurt him.” Jiwon stares amusedly at her ex-husband, “I just want to talk.”
“Why can’t I be around then?” Minho questions, protective of Kibum once he realises his ex-wife wants to speak to him alone.
“Because I don’t want you to be around,” Jiwon answers stubbornly before she laughs sadly, “And come on, I’ve hit you enough times to know I’m just going to hurt myself in the end. Relax, Minho, I won’t do anything to him.”
Minho frowns, “Jiwon, you know I-”
Losing her patience, Jiwon raises her hand and interrupts Minho, “Shut up and just leave us alone alright?”
Minho looks at Kibum who has been too quiet the entire time. Their eyes meet for a brief second but it’s enough for Minho to make a decision.
“I’ll be in the room.”
Letting out a breath, Minho finally leaves the living room.
Upon hearing the door close, Jiwon turns to properly acknowledge Kibum.
“Do you think I’ll hit you too?”
“I don’t think that’s what Minho was thinking… but I won’t be surprised if you do.”
“Maybe if you were a woman, I wouldn’t think twice about hitting you but…” Jiwon laughs at her own joke but when she realises how awkward she is in front of a completely serious Kibum, she stops.
Letting out a huge breath, Jiwon then clears her throat and restarts their conversation.
“Kibum-ssi?”
“Yes?”
“Look at me.”
Kibum wants to but he can’t. He’s too ashamed.
“I’m sor-”
“Please don’t.” Shaking her head, Jiwon stops him from apologising, “I’ve heard enough apologies from Minho and I’m honestly sick of it. I’ve asked to meet you not because I want to hear you say you’re sorry… You must think I’m insane but I really just wanted to meet you personally... just to be sure.”
“…why?” Kibum asks, puzzled.
“For my daughter.” Jiwon sounds as determined as she looks.
Kibum finally looks up, stunned.
“If there’s one thing Minho and I still have in common, it’s that we both love our daughter very much.” Jiwon smiles upon thinking of her baby girl, “Our marriage has failed but we still have the ability to bring her up in a happy home… or two, for that matter.”
Kibum frowns, not understanding what this has got to do with him. He doesn’t say anything but Jiwon can tell what he’s thinking.
“Minho loves you.” Jiwon goes straight to the point, “I can tell he wants to be with you… and if you two end up together…”
“We’re not together.” Kibum interrupts.
“Not now, I know.” Jiwon says, “But in the future…”
Kibum shakes his head, “Jiwon-ssi, I won’t be with him.”
Jiwon is surprised at the resolve in Kibum’s voice.
“Do you not love him?”
“I-”
“Kibum-ssi, there’s such a thing as a happy divorce, you know?” Jiwon shares her thoughts, “I’m not going to lie, there was a point in time I felt like killing you for ruining my marriage and making me lose my husband. But it’s tiring… tiring to hold a grudge, even more tiring to make something work when it isn’t just the same anymore. I don’t want my daughter to grow up in an environment where her parents don’t love each other.”
“You still love Minho.” Kibum mutters out loud, disagreeing with her last sentence because he understands exactly how Jiwon feels.
Hearing what Jiwon has said so far, Kibum realises one thing. They’re in the same situation actually. They both love Minho enough to let him go.
Jiwon smiles, “Maybe… maybe not, but so what? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t love me anymore. I deserve so much better. I know I’ll be happier if I let go… so I’m moving on. And right now, I just want the best for my daughter.”
It becomes clear to Kibum why Jiwon has requested to meet him. And Kibum can’t understand why Jiwon can even entertain the idea of him being a parent to her daughter. Just the thought about Minho’s daughter meeting him, the very person who ruined her happy family, terrifies him so much that Kibum can’t breathe.
“I’m sorry, Jiwon-ssi, I think you got the wrong idea. I’m not... I’m not- I just can’t- not when I’m the reason for your divorce. I just- I’m sorry, I have to leave.”
With that, Kibum runs.
“Kibum-ssi!” Jiwon stands up from the sofa and tries to stop Kibum from leaving, “Kibum-ssi!!”
Kibum doesn’t stop and Jiwon can only watch as he leaves their house hurriedly. She doesn’t think she should be the one chasing after him but she knows who should. Jiwon quickly heads towards the rooms and is walking in the hallway when said person comes out of the room looking confused.
“I heard you shouting-”
“He left.” Jiwon interrupts anxiously and grabs Minho’s arm, “Minho, go after him.”
“What happened?” Minho asks as Jiwon drags him towards the door.
“I just wanted him to know I’m fine with you and him raising our daughter together-”
“Jiwon!”
“What?! I’m indirectly giving him my blessings and you’re angry with me?!” Jiwon punches Minho on his chest, “No. Now’s not the time for us to argue, you should check on him!”
Minho shakes his head and sighs.
“I can’t. Now’s not the right time. If I chase after him, I’ll only be pushing him away even more.” Minho explains calmly, “He thinks he’s responsible for our divorce, Jiwon. How do you expect him to be with me now?”
“Well, if you ask me, you guys were perfectly fine being together when we were married...” Jiwon points out.
“Jiwon ah, I’m-”
“Don’t.” Jiwon shoots Minho a glare, “If I hear the word sorry come out of your mouth one more time, I swear I’ll slap you.”
Minho stays silent.
“Choi Minho.”
Minho looks into his ex-wife’s eyes.
“I’m glad we’re getting a divorce.”
⏩
Kibum doesn’t know where he’s going. His mind is a complete mess as he walks down the street. He knows he should probably find his way home but he can’t think straight. He stops, breathing hard from walking too fast, and squats in the middle of the pavement. With his arms crossed over his knees, Kibum drops his head on his forearms and tries to control his breathing.
Minutes pass and Kibum hears a car pull up beside him. He knows it is Minho but he neither looks up nor runs away. Kibum just feels too exhausted to deal with anything right now. He can hear Minho come out of the car, can feel him standing close to him but Kibum isn’t ready to move just yet. He may be embarrassing himself by squatting in the middle of nowhere but that’s the least of his worries. Somehow, this is helping him breathe, and it’s what’s stopping him from breaking down entirely.
When he feels he has managed to calm himself down, Kibum stands up and meets Minho’s eyes.
“What do you want?” Kibum asks, defeated.
“I just…” Minho pauses, looking at Kibum with a pained expression, as he then swallows hard and says, “Let me send you home, Kibum.”
“That’s it?” Kibum can’t help but be suspicious of Minho’s motive.
Minho sighs, “Look, Kibum, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jiwon. She wants me to make sure you get back home safely… Given a choice, I know I’m the last person you want to see right now but-”
“Alright.”
“What?”
Kibum lets out a breath and doesn’t say anything else as he walks past Minho and opens the car door for himself.
Getting Kibum into his car may have turned out easier than Minho expected but he still can’t bring himself to feel happy. Minho knows it doesn’t mean anything.
It is just a ride back home - nothing more, nothing less.
⏩
The ride back to Kibum's apartment is completely silent until they reach his place.
“Kibum.”
Kibum is just about to open the car door when Minho calls him. He freezes in his position and doesn’t look back but it gives Minho enough courage to continue.
“Can we talk?” Minho isn’t confident but he decides to give it a try, “Please?”
It takes what feels like forever before Kibum releases his grip on the car door handle and sits back into the passenger seat.
As much as Kibum thinks they shouldn't be involved with each other anymore, he still has things he wants to ask and say to Minho too.
“What’s going to happen to you now?” Kibum begins the conversation.
“Nothing much, actually.” Minho answers honestly, “You don’t know this, Kibum, but I’ve moved out of the house more than a month ago. Jiwon and I… we agreed for our daughter to stay with her in the house. She’s still trying to understand what’s happening but we’re slowly letting her get used to the changes.”
“A month ago…?” It’s only then that Kibum realises Minho’s divorce isn’t a recent thing.
“We’ve already filed for divorce.” Minho decides to go straight to the point, “It’ll take about a month or so more before it’s finalised.”
Kibum remains silent.
Minho sighs and reaches out to hold Kibum’s hand. To his surprise, Kibum lets him and simply stares at their hands. This alone encourages Minho to say what he’s been wanting to say for the entire car ride.
“Kibum, I know what you’re thinking. That’s why I wanted to leave you alone. I didn’t want to have this talk with you so soon but… I’m scared… so scared that I’ll lose you forever if I don’t say anything right now.” Minho admits as he hold Kibum’s hand tighter, “None of this is your fault. It’s all mine. I’m the one who fell in love with you. And that’s love… it can happen at the wrong time but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen at all. We can’t control how we feel about each other. We can’t change how our heart feels. You tried, didn’t you? So you must know how I’m feeling right now… I can’t keep silent and pretend that I’m not here because I want you back-”
“Enough.” Kibum pulls his hand out of Minho’s and lets out a breath, “It’s late, I should go.”
“Kibum…”
“Minho, please, just-” Kibum bites his bottom lip as he looks at Minho for a moment before he says, “Give me more time.”
With that, Kibum finally leaves the car and heads back home while Minho can only let him go.
Until Kibum is ready, Minho will wait.
And he’ll keep waiting, no matter how long it takes, because Kibum is the only one for him.
“Choi Minho, where the hell is my daughter’s birthday cake?”
“Is the birthday cake all you care about, Kim Jiwon?” Minho questions the mother of his daughter as he holds his phone to his ear with one hand, and carries the cake along with a bag full of presents in his other.
“You’re supposed to be here an hour ago to help prepare for her party!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the damn cake shop but I’m here already alright?” Minho enters the code to his old house and opens the door for himself, “You’ll see me in a second.”
As soon as he steps in, Minho hangs up the call and heads straight into the living area, naturally assuming Jiwon will be busy putting up the decorations in the living room. However, the sight that greets him surprises him completely.
He’s right about Jiwon, because she is indeed in the living room, still holding the phone to her ear with a birthday banner hanging off her arm, but what he doesn’t expect to see is Kibum there with his daughter on the floor surrounded by party decorations.
“Finally!” Jiwon exclaims once she sees Minho and puts her phone away, “You should be thankful Kibum oppa has been here since morning being a better father than you because I wouldn’t have survived-”
“Jiwon ah!” Seeing how Minho has gone completely in shock, Kibum quickly interrupts to stop Jiwon from going on, “We should probably put the cake in the fridge first?”
“Oh right.” Jiwon agrees with a smile, “And I have to get this banner up too.”
Kibum nods, glad that he has managed to distract Jiwon. He smiles at the birthday girl and leaves her to play with the party decorations before getting up from the floor and walking towards Minho. Without saying anything, Kibum holds a confused Minho by his arm and leads him into the kitchen.
Once they’re alone in the kitchen, Kibum first takes the cake from Minho and puts the box into the fridge. When he closes the fridge and turns around, Kibum can’t say he’s surprised to see Minho glaring at him.
“I know I have a lot of explaining to do.”
It’s then that Minho loses it.
“Has it been a year, Kibum?!” Minho raises his volume loud enough for Kibum to know he’s hopping mad but not loud enough to scare his daughter outside, “I’ve been waiting the entire time with no news from you at all only to find out that you’ve been spending all of this time with my ex-wife and daughter? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Minho, I-”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Minho doesn’t care what Kibum has to say as he exclaims, “How on earth did I not know?!”
“Would you shut up?”
“No, I will not shut up because-”
“Because I love you okay?!”
Silence.
Minho stares at Kibum for a long moment until Kibum looks away and sighs.
“I did this… because I love you.” Kibum confesses as he looks at the kitchen floor, “I want to be with you, Minho, but I needed to-”
Kibum isn’t given a chance to explain himself because the next thing he knows, he is silenced with a kiss.
“You idiot.” Minho speaks against the corner of Kibum’s lips after kissing him, “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting?”
As he wraps his arms around Minho’s waist, Kibum smiles and takes the initiative to reconnect their lips.
“I know, I’m sorry, your daughter isn’t exactly the easiest to win over.” Kibum admits in between kisses.
Minho can't help but laugh as he leans his forehead against Kibum’s and hugs him closer, “Does she love you like I do now then?”
“I think... you still love me more?” Kibum answers, a little unsure.
“Yeah,” Minho replies with a light kiss on Kibum’s lips, “No one can love you more than I do.”
The smile that appears on Kibum’s face is enough for Minho to forget all about the anger he felt a while ago and realise that right here, right now is all that matters.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long…”
“It’s okay.”
“If you two lovebirds are done here, please remember we have a birthday party to host and a birthday girl wondering where her fathers are.”
Upon hearing the third voice, Kibum and Minho finally look away from each other and find Jiwon standing just outside the kitchen with her arms crossed.
“Sorry…” Kibum says as he quickly moves away from Minho.
“And please… not in front of our six year old.”
Jiwon gives both of them a pointed look before she turns around and heads back into the living area.
Minho stifles a laugh as he holds out his hand palm up in front of Kibum.
“Shall we?”
Without hesitating, Kibum slides his hand into Minho’s and interlocks their fingers together.
Finally.
They’re right where they belong.
▶
Author's Note: oh my word this is the longest fic i've written in months. i'm honestly rather proud of this. and i quite like how things turned out? after the first chapter, i didn't plan the story at all, just wrote whatever i felt like as the story progressed so... heehee. i know i fast forwarded here and there so if there's anything you'd like to ask about the fic, feel free to comment below~ i hope you guys enjoyed all 8000+ words that make up this fic!! thanks for reading this! looking forward to hearing what you guys think of it! :)
ps: in case you need to picture Minho's wife, this is Jiwon in the story. i thought i'll be easy to imagine since Jiwon played Minho's love interest before in TTBY. also, i left his daughter nameless because it was already hard enough deciding who the wife should be. >v<
