One-shot H/D (humour) R
Title: Caught
Author: Tangible Magic
Beta: Vanilla Dear
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Belongs to the wondeful JKR. No profit. Not mine. But if they were... *daydreams* Um, sorry? Where was I? Huh?
Summary: Harry. Draco. Detention.
Status: Complete
Length: One-Shot - 600 words.
Warnings: Language.
Category: Humour
Author's Notes: HapPY BiRtHdaY VaNiLLA!
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"This is your fault, Potter."
"Fuck off Malfoy."
"I WOULD IF I COULD - YOU DEFICIENT HALF-WIT - BUT THIS IS CALLED DETENTION FOR A FUCKING REASON!"
Harry looked up at Malfoy. How he got his entire rant out in one breath, Harry wasn't quite sure. Though he obviously thought it necessary to stand and yell, knocking his chair backward and throwing his arms about in the process. His robes were askew and his hair sticking up at odd angles, the white-blonde clashing rather offensively with his flushed pink cheeks. Harry liked it.
"You're such a drama-queen, you know that Malfoy?"
"Am not," he protested, one hand propping itself on his hip.
Snape had ordered them to sit next to each other. The entire dungeon was empty, but they had to sit next to each other whilst completing their assigned work. Just so Harry would end up strangling him, right when Snape walked back in. Snape had confiscated their wands. Harry thought Snape was a sadistic bastard sometimes - even before he paired him with Malfoy to make whatever-the-fuck today's potion was - or was meant to be.
Malfoy pulled his chair upright and flopped back into it, pushing a few stray stands back behind his ear and sighing. Harry didn't bother to stifle his laughter.
"What now, Potter?"
"You're so prissy."
Harry mimicked Malfoy, swishing his imaginary fringe of his face, complete with 'damsel in distress' sigh.
"A-"
"Am not!" Harry interrupted in a squeaky voice before dissolving into laughter.
"Fuck off."
"We're in detention, remember?"
"And whose fault is that?"
"You tipped the entire jar of lace-wings in. Not me."
"How was I to know the entire fucking cauldron would explode?"
"We were told not to tip them from the jar anyway. I didn't make you do that."
"Yes you did!"
"How the fuck could I have possibly m- "
"Not that you idiot! You made me tip the whole lot in."
"Again - how the fu-"
"I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE THERE!"
"Malfoy, you really are - "
"You were nearly falling sideways off your chair, right in front of me. What the fuck were you- OH MY GOD!"
"What?!"
"You were checking out my arse weren't you!" Malfoy clapped a hand over his mouth, pointing his perfectly manicured finger at Harry.
"WHAT?" Harry yelled, his voice an octave higher of its accord.
"You perve! You were so!"
"Malfoy - that's absurd. You're right off your nutter, you know that?"
"Explain it then!"
"I was - uh - I was - "
"Oh My God!" Malfoy was smirking.
"Look, there was a good reason, I just don't remember it. Ok? I was pretty much preoccupied with our cauldron exploding!"
"Oh please. I have a gorgeous arse and you know it."
"Wh- Malfoy. Thats - thats -. Not everyone is obsessed with you, or your arse for that matter."
"But you are."
"Fuck off."
Malfoy leaned in slightly, accentuating every word. His voice seemed to flow like honey. Victory written all over his face. "I don't think you want me to."
Harry knew his face was bright red.
"Don't worry Potter. I'll tell everyone. And by the way, your arse is nice too."
"I - What? You - What? But - Malfoy, what are you ... YOUV'E GOT NOTHING TO TELL THEM!."
"Potter, I think I do."
Harry couldn't stop himself, he was reaching for that throat.
Snape's voice rang out through the dungeon, "finished your assignment yet - Potter?"
______________________________________________________________________________
Feedback is always appreciated.
Author: Tangible Magic
Beta: Vanilla Dear
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Belongs to the wondeful JKR. No profit. Not mine. But if they were... *daydreams* Um, sorry? Where was I? Huh?
Summary: Harry. Draco. Detention.
Status: Complete
Length: One-Shot - 600 words.
Warnings: Language.
Category: Humour
Author's Notes: HapPY BiRtHdaY VaNiLLA!
______________________________________________________________________________
"This is your fault, Potter."
"Fuck off Malfoy."
"I WOULD IF I COULD - YOU DEFICIENT HALF-WIT - BUT THIS IS CALLED DETENTION FOR A FUCKING REASON!"
Harry looked up at Malfoy. How he got his entire rant out in one breath, Harry wasn't quite sure. Though he obviously thought it necessary to stand and yell, knocking his chair backward and throwing his arms about in the process. His robes were askew and his hair sticking up at odd angles, the white-blonde clashing rather offensively with his flushed pink cheeks. Harry liked it.
"You're such a drama-queen, you know that Malfoy?"
"Am not," he protested, one hand propping itself on his hip.
Snape had ordered them to sit next to each other. The entire dungeon was empty, but they had to sit next to each other whilst completing their assigned work. Just so Harry would end up strangling him, right when Snape walked back in. Snape had confiscated their wands. Harry thought Snape was a sadistic bastard sometimes - even before he paired him with Malfoy to make whatever-the-fuck today's potion was - or was meant to be.
Malfoy pulled his chair upright and flopped back into it, pushing a few stray stands back behind his ear and sighing. Harry didn't bother to stifle his laughter.
"What now, Potter?"
"You're so prissy."
Harry mimicked Malfoy, swishing his imaginary fringe of his face, complete with 'damsel in distress' sigh.
"A-"
"Am not!" Harry interrupted in a squeaky voice before dissolving into laughter.
"Fuck off."
"We're in detention, remember?"
"And whose fault is that?"
"You tipped the entire jar of lace-wings in. Not me."
"How was I to know the entire fucking cauldron would explode?"
"We were told not to tip them from the jar anyway. I didn't make you do that."
"Yes you did!"
"How the fuck could I have possibly m- "
"Not that you idiot! You made me tip the whole lot in."
"Again - how the fu-"
"I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE THERE!"
"Malfoy, you really are - "
"You were nearly falling sideways off your chair, right in front of me. What the fuck were you- OH MY GOD!"
"What?!"
"You were checking out my arse weren't you!" Malfoy clapped a hand over his mouth, pointing his perfectly manicured finger at Harry.
"WHAT?" Harry yelled, his voice an octave higher of its accord.
"You perve! You were so!"
"Malfoy - that's absurd. You're right off your nutter, you know that?"
"Explain it then!"
"I was - uh - I was - "
"Oh My God!" Malfoy was smirking.
"Look, there was a good reason, I just don't remember it. Ok? I was pretty much preoccupied with our cauldron exploding!"
"Oh please. I have a gorgeous arse and you know it."
"Wh- Malfoy. Thats - thats -. Not everyone is obsessed with you, or your arse for that matter."
"But you are."
"Fuck off."
Malfoy leaned in slightly, accentuating every word. His voice seemed to flow like honey. Victory written all over his face. "I don't think you want me to."
Harry knew his face was bright red.
"Don't worry Potter. I'll tell everyone. And by the way, your arse is nice too."
"I - What? You - What? But - Malfoy, what are you ... YOUV'E GOT NOTHING TO TELL THEM!."
"Potter, I think I do."
Harry couldn't stop himself, he was reaching for that throat.
Snape's voice rang out through the dungeon, "finished your assignment yet - Potter?"
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Feedback is always appreciated.