How do you define Fun?
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Fun. How do you define it? Is it surfing the west coast struggling to catch a big roll and dreaming about one day doing the Pororoca? Is it playing pool in a smoke filled bar while crooners attempt to be the next American Idol on Karoke night? Is it camping with your friends, staying up late while telling stories around the campfire, the children dozing in their sleeping bags? Is it hot dog eating contests at the local fair, then riding the tilt-a-whirl after taking bets on who would hurl first? Is it training Jack Russel Terriers to do amazing, adorable tricks with frisbees while wearing tutus?
Throughout a lifetime, the definition of fun tends to wander with the streams and tributaries of life. Sometimes having fun is based on who you know. In the interest of building relationships, it is natural to attempt new things and occassionally adapt those things to our own repertoire. Other times having fun is an inherent apptitude, ingrained in our nature, seemingly comprised of a mysterious gene that everyone in your family has. Occassionally, having fun is doing nothing at all. Only one thing can be counted on, you're not having fun if it doesn't make you smile, laugh, think or feel better.
It always catches me unaware, that I have so much fun when I spend my time with other families whose lives are impacted by special needs children. It is an unspoken common thread that joins us. No matter what our differences or stations in life, the needs of our special children are paramount. We take on life understanding the same simple truths, that life is precious and we are all precariously walking through life on the able side of life. A crossed tetrad on chromosome #9, a replicated chromosome #21, extra X chromosomes, chemical imbalances, ineffective protein-makers in our cells, dysfunctioning neurons, hearts with holes, disfigured bones, all of these anamolies that inflict themselves on the smallest, most precious of humans with no respect for the love of their families and the hopes and dreams they once had. The hopes and dreams that have been rewritten a hundred times on the whims and reports of doctors, therapists and educators.
Today at Hippotherapy, my oldest was working hard on her project while my son rode. Her work reflected first or second grade ability even though she's in fourth grade. I had brought a slew of paper and markers to keep her on task and to occupy my youngest who is luckily, without need. One of our friends arrived for therapy early. She marched onto the porch bearing a flower for my oldest. In her broken speech she said, "Here, this is for you!" and kissed her on the head. My daughter hugged her back. An invitation was extended for her to join us in our coloring fest but she had already seated herself and grabbed a marker. No invitation necessary when markers are on hand!
A few minutes later, our tiny table of industrious hands was made smaller when a third rider arrived early. Seeing the impromptu party, she didn't even ask. She was coloring before her mom arrived on the porch. I just smiled. I was having fun.
The jumbled, garbled chatter continued between the children. Why hector the children to practice what they've learned in speech therapy while they color? The moms and I began our typical special needs mommy chatter about therapies, doctors, medicines, tutors, you name it. Unless you are impacted by these things, our conversations sound very peculiar to unsuspecting bystanders!
Surveying the children's accomplishments, we remarked about the progress each had made in their fine motor skills and creativity, being especially giddy if they recently made huge strides. We discussed our own learned tips to practice occupational therapy at home. We talked to each other's children, being delighted that we didn't have to explain to anyone that our child can't speak well, or converse well, or understand social relationships or other neurotypical behaviors. No one was gawking or shying away from us. There were no angry stares from the public. It was pure. It was perfect. It was fun.
If you told me I'd think playing with special needs children and making friends with special needs moms would be the best fun I'd ever have, I would have looked at you weird. Now I know it for myself and I am having the time of my life!