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Name: John Connor
Age 10
Series: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Canon: In the future, John Connor is going to be the leader of the human resistance that fights against the machines of Skynet, after they become self-aware in an explosion of fire and brimstone and death on August 29, 1997. In the future, Skynet sends a machine that can pass as a human - a Terminator - to kill John's mother. It fails when future!John sends his best friend back in time to protect his mother -- who also becomes his father. In the further future, the machines send back an even better Terminator to kill John when he was a boy. Future!John sends back a reprogrammed Terminator to combat it, and I had better stop there while it still makes some sense.
John Connor as a ten-year-old child is not exactly who you'd think of when you imagine the leader of the human race. Left in a foster home after his mom was admitted to a mental ward, John became a delinquent: he's a fast-talking smartass with an arrest record, who steals from ATMs so he can play in the mall arcade with his best friend. (Hey, it's 1995, okay.) Despite all the craziness of his life, John's a pretty okay kid past the first, sarcastic layer. He rescues his mother against improbable odds! And he sees his robot protector as a friend, not just a machine, and endeavors to teach Arnold Schwarzenegger the T-800 how to be human: how to smile, how to learn, and how not to kill. John is surprisingly mature for a kid his age and with his (future) responsibilities.
Sample post:
Oh shit, Mom is gonna totally freak when she hears about this. It took me like a million years to convince her I was gonna be okay, and now look. This is not okay! This is really not okay! She is never going to let me out of her sight again. I just wanted to try something normal for once, but it turns out this is really some kinda freaky prison camp with weird guards -- shit, they must have infrared, they're coming right towards me!
Hey, hi officers! Nice uh, nice uniforms you've got there! Oh ... oh man, that's not clothes hanging off you, that's your ski-- Okay John, calm down. You got away from that other Terminator, you can totally handle Zombie Cop. Listen, I'm really sorry about this, but I got seriously turned around in this swamp and now I'm lost. Can you just tell me how to get back to the road? No, it's cool, I don't need to be escorted out of here. It's not like I'm trespassing yet, is it? I mean, you guys stopped me before I got to that point, right? Yeah, so, I think I'll just be going now -- hey, HEY! Let go of me, you zombie psycho!
Ow, geez. If you wanted to show me the way out of here you could've pointed, not grabbed me and turned me around! Point! You know, raise your arm and stick out your hand-- or just nodded your head-- oookay, definitely not a Terminator. We've got a problem here. But if you wanna help people, you gotta stop scaring them all the time! No one'll trust you if it looks like you want to rip off their arm to replace your own! C'mon, we gotta start with the basics: a smile! See, look at this. It lets whoever you're looking at know you're friendly! And you can stop smiling now, seriously, the skull grin is a little creepy. And then the handshake -- we can use this guy to help. So you stick out your hand, and I stick out my hand, and then we grab hands and shake -- whoa! What the hell do you think you're doing, you sicko?!
Okay, time out time out! You're all moving a liiiiiittle too fast for me right now, so can we slow down? No seriously, guys, I'm starting to get a little worried here -- aw, crap, looks like the fast talk isn't working this time. Hasta la vista, dickwads!
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