notes on why I smoke at 4am

[inthe_modernage]

I just had the most morbid nightmare about rotting corpses and the apocolypse. People thought that the end of the world was coming and they terrified themselves into these half-living zombie creatures that just rotted. There was a family in a farm house and there were rats pouring into it and farm animals dead in the front yard. And people were

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[mandoline]

I love dreams, even the awful ones. I hope, each night, as I fall asleep, that I would dream something... no matter how terrible.

But I'm not going to lie. I secretly am scared that something bad will happen in my lifetime that would cause much death and destruction. I want to live and grow old without any of that fear coming true, I want to die without something like the Holocaust or a war happening again, the same way I was born into a time without it. The way things are going, though, it--this fear of the end of the world--is even more real...