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a perfect day for Banana fish
JD Salinger I love you.
"Miss Carpenter. Please. I know my business," the young man said. "You just keep your eyes open for any bananafish. This is a perfect day for bananafish ( Read more... ) -
It seeps from every pore.................
My friend, who I thought I’d mortally offended is speaking to me and talking to me and seems cool as fuck with me. This means an incredible amount to me. I hate hurting the people are closest to me or even thinking that I have. I’m nearly crying while I’m writing this. Good. The patrichal screaming machine knocked the waterworks out of me a ( Read more... ) -
terra incognito
"Emotion" is dervied etymologically from the french "émouvoir" which means to stir up.I always considered myself unemotional when I was younger. I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to be perfectly scientific. Emotions were irrational therefore bad. I didn't want to be some irrational screaming ape as I perceived (not entirely incorrectly) my ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm sitting in my parents office wearing only grungey cut off shorts and a turkish basketball top. I'm drinking Aldi beer and listening to "She's In Parties" by Bauhaus which is on a goth compilation which I've just stuck on. My parents are in Spain. I just stuck a Guiness in the freezer ( Read more... ) -
the sound
I always loved the sound. They were labelmates to Echo And The Bunnymen. They were too punk to be goth. Too goth to be punk. Too cerebal for the masses and the lead singer looked a bit like Errol The Hamster off the Roland Rat show. But fuck me he was a good singer and lyricist. After decades of being ignored and depression he through himself ( Read more... ) -
"freida"
Years back I worked at a daycare centre for people with learning disabilities. This was during the last summer of the 90s. I'm 21. At the I was blackly depressed. I was struggling coming to terms the adult world and feelings. I saw no point in anything and was sure I was about to be expelled from uni. I guess we're also in the last throes ( Read more... ) -
dis-placement
Spent whole night in uni computer rooms. Couldn't do anything till six AM. Just looking at stuff. Thinking about stuff. I wanna reach out or write some thats expresses something. Just not another fucking essay. I eventually slept for a couple of hours. Eventually, somehow, off two hours of sleep, my total indifference and still waters over ( Read more... ) -
23:16
23:16...........
My eyes are already burning with monitor burn. I have 2000 words to write. I have no particular inclination. I here low muttering. I'm here for the night.
I feel the phosphoric acid burn my teeth. I feel tired and wide awake. I feel sick and shakey from about three thingd at once it starts and ends with a psychotic break ( Read more... ) -
tired dream
A long time something happened to me. Something bad that fucked me up for years and left me running at half bore for a good decade or so. I still feel it today ( Read more... ) -
music reviews et al
I should have been writing my literature review. I can't. I must. I shall ( Read more... )