Let's Get Lost Tonight
key takes a long drag from his cigarette, staring out at the bustling city below from his apartment balcony. he smothers the short stick between his forefinger and the ledge. nasty habit really- he thinks he should quit.
he retreats back into his warm living room, flopping himself down on the standalone couch in the middle of this deserted island of a room. he drapes an arm over his head and taps his foot against the armrest, a feeling of restlessness hitting him full force. for a fleeting moment, he feels a hand running over his arms. gentle fingers soothing scars from previous years. he cracks open an eye to see a figure- not quite opaque but at the same time, not quite transparent. the figure looks down at him, and smiles, continuing to run his hands down key's arms.
i've missed you, kibum. he thinks he hears to figure say. the figure runs pale hands over his chest and suddenly key feels full
but empty
suddenly it feels as if every burden he has been faced with has been manifested into this invisible mass. that invisible mass was weighing down his chest and making him immobile and making it hard to breathe.
a heart's a heavy burden. and key knows this. god he knows this. that doesn't stop the erratic beating in his chest from becoming so much more prominent. or the knot in his esophagus from doubling in size. it most certainly doesn't stop the warm tears from rolling down his face.
key staggers off the couch and into the bathroom, kneeling before the toilet and dry heaving into it. he stays in that position, with his head in the toilet.
he stays in that position long after he's emptied his stomach's contents into it.
he stays in that position long after the steady drip of his tears falling into the foul mix of vomit and toilet water has stopped.
he lifts himself from that position only when the figure returns, running his gentle hands through key's hair. then key's sobs start back up.
the figure brings key into a firm embrace and continues running his hands lazily through his golden tresses.
key begins to speak through his sobs, his word slightly muffled by the fabric of the figure's shirt pressing against his mouth.
''i don't know what to do... taemin i've lost you... now i'm losing myself. this world that i once thought so highly of, is nothing like what i expected it to be.''
taemin's hold on key loosens slightly and key pulls away, staring at taemin from an arm's length.
you haven't lost me.