Unsent Letters
Title : Unsent Letters
Rating : PG-13
Genre : Angst; Drama
Summary : I miss you terribly, Jinki
September 14, 2010.
It’s our anniversary today.
It’s been two years, hasn’t it?
It’s been two years and I’ve been putting this letter off for the longest time. So, here’s where the letter starts. I’ll tell you exactly what happened on that day, Lee Jinki.
I came home from work that day, and I felt the happiest I’d felt in a very long time and it was all because of you, my precious husband.
I timed everything perfectly, so that was no delay in your arriving home from work and our anniversary dinner. I didn’t want the food to get cold. At a quarter past eight I looked towards the clock, knowing you’d be home in fifteen minutes or less. You were always so punctual.
Half past.
Forty-five.
Fifty-six.
An hour.
By then my nails were bitten down to the beds- the habit I’d worked so hard to stop had come back and hit me full force. The doorbell rang and I practically flew towards it, think it was you coming back from whatever kept you from me, but rather it was our friend, Minho. I hope you do remember him.
Do you know what he told me? He didn’t tell me anything.
He just took my tear stained face and hugged it into his chest.
And that was all it took.
In that moment, that very, very, very long and drawn out moment, it felt as if I had died instead of you.
Have you ever had a migraine and the stomach flu at the same time, Lee Jinki?
Have you ever had your heart ripped out and been forced to live through it, Lee Jinki?
Have you ever wanted had your emotions manifest into physical pain that might kill you, Lee Jinki?
I’m sure you haven’t.
This is going to be another letter that you’ll never set your eyes on, but that has never stopped me from writing any of the hundreds of letters that have played the predecessor.
I requested a closed casket funeral. I don’t think I could handle seeing you lay there without your smiling face.
You never told me if you wanted to be cremated or not. The decision was hard, either let various bugs eat you up over the course of a few years or burn your body.
I’m not quite sure how I’m still alive at this moment, two years later. There’s not a minute that goes by without me missing you.
Not a minute.
Everyone told me that I’d get over it in three months tops, but it’s been two years, Lee Jinki. Two fucking years.
Couldn’t you see how fucking in love with you I was? It was almost like I was living my life purely because you were in it and now you’re not and I cant do anything about it. Not a single. Fucking. Thing. I can’t even cry for you anymore, I’ve run out of tears.
I miss you so much and it’s making me sick, Jinki. Please, please come back.
Rating : PG-13
Genre : Angst; Drama
Summary : I miss you terribly, Jinki
September 14, 2010.
It’s our anniversary today.
It’s been two years, hasn’t it?
It’s been two years and I’ve been putting this letter off for the longest time. So, here’s where the letter starts. I’ll tell you exactly what happened on that day, Lee Jinki.
I came home from work that day, and I felt the happiest I’d felt in a very long time and it was all because of you, my precious husband.
I timed everything perfectly, so that was no delay in your arriving home from work and our anniversary dinner. I didn’t want the food to get cold. At a quarter past eight I looked towards the clock, knowing you’d be home in fifteen minutes or less. You were always so punctual.
Half past.
Forty-five.
Fifty-six.
An hour.
By then my nails were bitten down to the beds- the habit I’d worked so hard to stop had come back and hit me full force. The doorbell rang and I practically flew towards it, think it was you coming back from whatever kept you from me, but rather it was our friend, Minho. I hope you do remember him.
Do you know what he told me? He didn’t tell me anything.
He just took my tear stained face and hugged it into his chest.
And that was all it took.
In that moment, that very, very, very long and drawn out moment, it felt as if I had died instead of you.
Have you ever had a migraine and the stomach flu at the same time, Lee Jinki?
Have you ever had your heart ripped out and been forced to live through it, Lee Jinki?
Have you ever wanted had your emotions manifest into physical pain that might kill you, Lee Jinki?
I’m sure you haven’t.
This is going to be another letter that you’ll never set your eyes on, but that has never stopped me from writing any of the hundreds of letters that have played the predecessor.
I requested a closed casket funeral. I don’t think I could handle seeing you lay there without your smiling face.
You never told me if you wanted to be cremated or not. The decision was hard, either let various bugs eat you up over the course of a few years or burn your body.
I’m not quite sure how I’m still alive at this moment, two years later. There’s not a minute that goes by without me missing you.
Not a minute.
Everyone told me that I’d get over it in three months tops, but it’s been two years, Lee Jinki. Two fucking years.
Couldn’t you see how fucking in love with you I was? It was almost like I was living my life purely because you were in it and now you’re not and I cant do anything about it. Not a single. Fucking. Thing. I can’t even cry for you anymore, I’ve run out of tears.
I miss you so much and it’s making me sick, Jinki. Please, please come back.