[drabble] Smoke - ReitaxRuki
Title: Smoke
Author: ice_breath_117
Chapters: Drabble
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: They own me. Not the other way round.
Synopsis: In Reita's world, things were different.
A/N: at the end.
In his world, things were different. When someone said something, the meaning of it in the real world meant something totally different in his world. When someone did something, the significance of their action was totally different in his world. And when someone said ‘I love you’, the depth of those three words meant something entirely different when he listened to them.
It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the concept of love - in contrary, far from that. He held more meaning to these three little words than anyone he knew. To him, it was so much more than words to fill up empty silences, or words of comfort to those in need of comforting. It meant more than something said in passing; perhaps before a goodbye, or after a goodnight. When someone said those three little words to him, he wanted them to mean it.
He could remember the last time he heard those words. Exhausted, fatigued, but utterly exhilarated, the five men had hauled their aching bodies back into the easy silence of the small room backstage. His ears were still ringing; he could still feel the throbbing beat of the bass racing through his fingertips. Or perhaps it was just his pulse, beating to . He could also still hear the raw, deep voice tearing through his heart; it wasn’t until the squeak of rubber soles on polished floor that he realized that voice was echoing in reality, not just in his world.
Giving an impish grin, the person he so deeply loved and admired clicked open the door. I love you! He shouted out, eyes still glinting with excitement, hair still stuck to his forehead with sweat.
I love you. The real world.
I don’t love you. His world.
And with that his heart just broke that little bit more.
Things made sense in his world. He didn’t care if others had no idea what he was crying about, or what he was angry about. He only became angry - really angry - when the one person he wanted to understand him, just didn’t understand him. He had thought that his world made sense to them. And nothing made him feel more alone than the painful realization that he was the only one inhabiting his world. Things like hugs. Depending on the situation, this simple gesture held just as much importance and emotion to it as those three little words. But of course, he was alone in understanding this.
He could remember the last time he lifted his arms in such a gesture. His muscles ached with the weight of having held his bass all night. It was painful to move them at all, but nevertheless as he stumbled heavily backstage, he lifted them high to wind them around the person he loved most.
And in a sharp hiss like a blade, he whispered low and fast in his ear. Stop hugging me. Why do you always do that? And somehow it was worse than I love you. At least with those three words he could scavenge for the tiniest morsel of truth. The implications he heard in his world when these words shot out from his lips made him feel as though he was suffocating. Sometimes he really hated living in his world.
Stop hugging me. The real world.
I don’t love you. His world.
Before long he became so immersed into his world that there was soon no line to differentiate between his world and the real world. I don’t love you became reality, and I love you became his world. But now his world was false and the real world was real, and there was no way to tell between the two.
There was only pain.
A/N: Another drabble churned out in about 15 minutes. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking too much, and well I might as well put some of my thoughts down, even if it’s in fic-form. My drabbles tend to reflect my current emotions, huh. I know it’s probably a little cryptic and fuzzy once again, but I wanted it to be that way. I have a feeling I’ll be the only one who actually gets this though - I wrote it more for me than for someone else’s reading pleasure. Thought I’d post it anyway… And I’m sorry if the ‘hes’ got really confusing, I didn’t want to use names here and I’m too tired to think up better sentence structures.
Hopefully I can get to sleep now .__.
Author: ice_breath_117
Chapters: Drabble
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: They own me. Not the other way round.
Synopsis: In Reita's world, things were different.
A/N: at the end.
In his world, things were different. When someone said something, the meaning of it in the real world meant something totally different in his world. When someone did something, the significance of their action was totally different in his world. And when someone said ‘I love you’, the depth of those three words meant something entirely different when he listened to them.
It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the concept of love - in contrary, far from that. He held more meaning to these three little words than anyone he knew. To him, it was so much more than words to fill up empty silences, or words of comfort to those in need of comforting. It meant more than something said in passing; perhaps before a goodbye, or after a goodnight. When someone said those three little words to him, he wanted them to mean it.
He could remember the last time he heard those words. Exhausted, fatigued, but utterly exhilarated, the five men had hauled their aching bodies back into the easy silence of the small room backstage. His ears were still ringing; he could still feel the throbbing beat of the bass racing through his fingertips. Or perhaps it was just his pulse, beating to . He could also still hear the raw, deep voice tearing through his heart; it wasn’t until the squeak of rubber soles on polished floor that he realized that voice was echoing in reality, not just in his world.
Giving an impish grin, the person he so deeply loved and admired clicked open the door. I love you! He shouted out, eyes still glinting with excitement, hair still stuck to his forehead with sweat.
I love you. The real world.
I don’t love you. His world.
And with that his heart just broke that little bit more.
Things made sense in his world. He didn’t care if others had no idea what he was crying about, or what he was angry about. He only became angry - really angry - when the one person he wanted to understand him, just didn’t understand him. He had thought that his world made sense to them. And nothing made him feel more alone than the painful realization that he was the only one inhabiting his world. Things like hugs. Depending on the situation, this simple gesture held just as much importance and emotion to it as those three little words. But of course, he was alone in understanding this.
He could remember the last time he lifted his arms in such a gesture. His muscles ached with the weight of having held his bass all night. It was painful to move them at all, but nevertheless as he stumbled heavily backstage, he lifted them high to wind them around the person he loved most.
And in a sharp hiss like a blade, he whispered low and fast in his ear. Stop hugging me. Why do you always do that? And somehow it was worse than I love you. At least with those three words he could scavenge for the tiniest morsel of truth. The implications he heard in his world when these words shot out from his lips made him feel as though he was suffocating. Sometimes he really hated living in his world.
Stop hugging me. The real world.
I don’t love you. His world.
Before long he became so immersed into his world that there was soon no line to differentiate between his world and the real world. I don’t love you became reality, and I love you became his world. But now his world was false and the real world was real, and there was no way to tell between the two.
There was only pain.
A/N: Another drabble churned out in about 15 minutes. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking too much, and well I might as well put some of my thoughts down, even if it’s in fic-form. My drabbles tend to reflect my current emotions, huh. I know it’s probably a little cryptic and fuzzy once again, but I wanted it to be that way. I have a feeling I’ll be the only one who actually gets this though - I wrote it more for me than for someone else’s reading pleasure. Thought I’d post it anyway… And I’m sorry if the ‘hes’ got really confusing, I didn’t want to use names here and I’m too tired to think up better sentence structures.
Hopefully I can get to sleep now .__.