Not so well.
[ ] SSAT testing on Saturday, the 5th
[ ] Buy present for Leslie
[ ] Create my Halloween look?
[ ] Look forward to More police reports
[x] Catch up in Geometry
[ ] Collect all My poetry and Give to Dr. Tali Barr
[ ] Take Cats to The Vet
[ ] Call Dr. Champlin about next appointment
[ ] "Happy" Day with Marvel and Twinisha
[x] Spend more time with Leslie
[ ] Draw more.
I still have to do these things. I killed whatever I didn't need to do, or felt it wasn't nessecary.
I don't know. I told Corris the dance didn't trigger me. The people didn't bother me - I was really anixous though - but it was the songs they played. The last one, that stupid one wish song that Shannon loves oh so much, and clearly so does everyone else, that really, really fucked me over. Leslie told me if I was thinking of Nico. In some aspect, I was, but it was REALLY remindng me of Diario. And I couldn't take it. That's why I kept asking people for a broom, because I needed to push something to get my feelings out. I mean, I could've always just slapped the crap out of Marvel, but, I didn't feel like it.
It reminded me of how much i missed him, you know? We had our closure on separate days. Mine, with my unfinished letter, my thank you letter, and a gift on Graduation...and he gave me earrings of which I can't wear, but the thought of it was what mattered the most to me. I was talking to Linda about how much I miss him. I had to stop. I couldn't take it. He was like, my best friend and everything else that could tie into it. It's just....that song. It said, "If I had one wish, I'd make you my boo." But as I said to linda...that wasn't the case.
LiNDA U BEEZY: i mean..it do get me sad...but for some reason i just wanna hear so badly...
inufan225: lol.
inufan225: It just reminded me of Diario - you know? I miss him a lot. If I had ONE wish, it wouldn't be to get with Nico, or to make A'kila's life better.
inufan225: It would to talk to Diario.
inufan225: *be to
LiNDA U BEEZY: oh...
LiNDA U BEEZY: awww...
LiNDA U BEEZY: how long has it been since u talked to him?
inufan225: The last time I REALLY talked to him..
inufan225: Before all my shit went down.
inufan225: Like.
inufan225: March something.
LiNDA U BEEZY: dang...
I just---I don't know what I want, what I need, what needs to be done.
My emotional life has been declared completely torn apart as of now. And I wish it wasn't this way....
Because I know it doesn't have to be.