Comments | inuyashacooks: inuyasha oneshot || amber;

inuyashacooks

inuyasha oneshot || amber;

May 20, 2009 03:49

pairing: Inuyasha X Kagome
rating: PG

( Inuyasha’s ears were twitching- that was the first part of him she saw, and her heart became like liquid. He moved easily, taking his time. )

Comments 4

l_awlietxoxx May 20 2009, 15:35:20 UTC

wow that was really, really good =OO
The way you described exactly what she was feeling with every passing moment was really amazing : )

inuyashacooks May 20 2009, 22:28:28 UTC

thanks! <3 i was thinking it might be confusing/rambling, so it's good to hear that it's coherent :P

langus_fiction July 4 2009, 19:26:52 UTC

Loved this, but then it seems as though I like everything you write ;)

What I enjoyed most about this piece was your ability to bring the reader into the moment. It's a particular talent of yours and it came across in this one just right. Lines like "Against the quick quiet a door downstairs slid open. A car rushed in the wet outside." put you in the moment, making you feel as though you are there. You seem to elicit every sense from the reader as we willingly follow the story along to its inevitable end. Very enjoyable. Very well done.

- Langus :)

inuyashacooks July 4 2009, 22:02:03 UTC

thanks! yeah, for me, i like things to happen in real time, and perception is broad- meaning like, everything factors into an atmosphere, the surroundings are part of thoughts & feelings, etc.

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