zelda fanfic || what after love 1.4 (1/2);
title: What After Love
pairing: Sheik X Link X Zelda triangle; Sheik X Link and Zelda X Link
rating: PG-13
genre: romance / AU
chapter summary: Sheik has a sort of mental breakdown as he realizes, through jealousy and joy, that his feelings for Link may be stronger than he thinks.
author's note: alternate summary: "link never knew his appetite could get him into so much trouble."
Fall air was white and crisp with the knife edge of avalanche sun; breathed cool into the windows on the honey morning when Link woke up...woke up, shaking off the impressions of some dream, walking out of the impossible realm like a zombie...then after a few sleepy moments, the realization hit him that- he’d forgotten his hat in the car last night...
A tiny depression sank into his shoulders as he got up and dressed- same kinda melodramatic depression hits a kid when he loses his favorite toy or something. He actually liked that hat- it looked kind of like a sleeping cap, and he wore it so that it fit over the back of his head. The first time he’d worn it, Sheik had looked at him as though remembering something, and just said, "Nice hat."
He didn’t wear it that much, but still...he discussed his problem with some people who told him he should call his friends and ask around. That was a good idea which should have been obvious...anyway, to that end he got the phone and called up Sheik- he didn’t have Shad or Princess’ number, and last time he called Raven before 1 he got a tongue-lashing. Sheik was probably awake though- did Sheik ever sleep? he wondered, looking around the room with spacey eyes. He seemed to be up at all hours- biding his energy like a snake or something...
He actually had no idea how Sheik lived, aside from when they were together- that was okay, he guessed. Surprisingly, Sheik did have his hat. They talked a bit, exchanged a joke or two, got down to business and decided on a place to meet.
So he finished up some chores around the house, cleaned up all the remnants of a previous mind- walked into the early afternoon. Outside it was clear as a picture, had this blinding clarity...struck like neon. And down the streets of silent dreams, down the lanes of impression he walked on, one sole innocent on the street of poisoned people...goldwire spun in his heart and mind: some high school girls giggled as he passed, playing empty songs that struck him funny...
But it didn’t matter. He met Sheik on an open street- each regarded the other with tepid familiarity, with a cagey warmth. Sheik looked as usual like he belonged to the night, was its only subject, therefore its leader; his eyes were bright, riot red, but were lidded sleepy. He regarded Link’s hat like it was a strange artifact; then held it up with a mild look in his eyes. "You were drunk on night," he greeted, voice soft and fluid, "Your hat was upset; jealous, and so stayed behind, told me all about it."
Link laughed and took his hat, slung it over his shoulder. "Was it? Well, that’s what it gets for being such a nag," he mused; then looked at Sheik with that low confidence in his eyes..."So? Whachya doin’? How are you?"
Link’s questions were asked like a schoolkid’s, something light hidden behind the movements of his tongue. Sheik had been feeling strangely lately, but Link couldn’t tell; he shifted his balance and sighed to the street. "Fine, I suppose. There have been changes in the air; the currents aren’t quite the same." He lowered his eyes, then flashed them toward Link. "‘I’ is another*, but I am the general,- the ancient eyes seem to be perceiving...how are you?"
Link’s eyes brightened with thought, became softer with light; he smiled, shoved his hands down in his jean pockets. "I’m good. I’m kinda hungry.- Do you really feel that way?"
"What way?"
"‘I’ is another."
Sheik’s eyes seemed to smile up at him. "Sometimes," he said- the word became like rain and music, molded by the liquid darkness of his voice- and the response was sad, but it had hints of a fire.
Link looked at Sheik for a moment, unaware of the silence- wondered vaguely if it was that way, if Sheik’s life was just a series of masks, of different hearts. It was hard to tell with Sheik. Sheik could be everything and nothing all at once- he could be part of the world and just as easily slip out of it, gone like yesterday. Link hoped that Sheik wasn’t just some shadow, it didn’t seem that way to him...
But the slimness of Link’s eyes over him- crashed like paint, like the beating of ocean waves, caused something dark to flare inside Sheik’s mind; he eyelessly brushed off the feeling, froze it over and pushed it off to some dark corner. He was about to say something- got out the tangled syllable, "Wha-", but Link spoke before he did.
"I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that way," Link mused, with a smile that just mixed up Sheik’s impressions, "I don’t think I have, but it sounds familiar. Weird, huh?"
Sheik paused- cat’s eyes on the coin. "Not at all- that’s the brand of understanding."
"That doesn’t sound good," Link answered with an easy laugh.
Sheik’s eyes took on that soft look- like the gentle hands of storms, like the radio signal from some long-off distant place. Warmth in his voice, as well. "It’s not," he replied, "and yet it is. The world is strange, hm?"
"Yep yep," Link nodded, "But I’d rather understand than walk asleep."
"That’s a good way of putting it," Sheik nodded, eyes for pride; but then he felt the turning of the earth, felt the sun like a wristwatch, and kicked at some pebbles on the sidewalk as they talked. "Where will you be tonight?"
Link’s eyes turned thoughtfully toward the sky. "Uhh, I don’t know- where are you gonna be?" He paused, then grinned. "Not that I’m trying to hit on you or anything."
"I’m sure," Sheik replied, with an easy confidence that made Link laugh. "Most likely, I’ll be with Raven. There’s a place downtown- I’ll give you the address, if you’d like."
"Oh, uh, sure," Link answered, confused as to why Sheik was offering the address- wouldn’t they go together?
They spent ten minutes or so looking for some paper to write on; settled on the back of a religious propaganda flier blowing on the sidewalk like a forgotten army. Sheik wrote down the address in dark blue; then, his posture poised and slim, he shifted back. "Well, I’ll see you tonight," he said, looking up toward Link-
-whose mouth turned in a cross between rainy blue and confusion. "See you tonight?" What did that mean? "Hey, wait, where’re you going?" Link asked, the blue fading into a bright smile.
Sheik’s balance teetered as he half-turned away from Link, a curious expression passing into his eyes. "-I’m going home," he said, the tone of his voice slightly amused.
Link paused- he had never been in Sheik’s house before; Sheik had never even mentioned that he had a house, so Link pretty much thought it was safe to assume that that was something Sheik was keeping off-limits, private. He knew Sheik was a reserved person, so he didn’t want to be pushy...but still, damn, he had to spend the rest of the afternoon being epically bored..."Oh, okay- catchya later then," he said, concluding the conversation with a short wave.
Something in Sheik constricted- like the tightening of fists- that dark way you take inventory of the rain. It was a blinding realization, that there was so much doubt still clutching, grasping. That he had to keep reminding himself that it was only Link...but was it? And what would he owe him, what subtle lines would change shape? Was he just being dramatic, did it really matter?-
Link seemed to notice the strange lean of Sheik’s posture, that movement as if to say "wait"; so he lingered on, looking at Sheik curiously. Sheik could feel nervousness clamor into his throat (and that premonition crossing his mind again- those dark words that were rushed and murmured, but bore the heaviness of "well, you’re fucked now"), but it came easily when he said, "You can come along, if you’d like."
Link paused; then his face brightened to a grin. "Seriously!?" he exclaimed, moving toward Sheik with blind puppy excitement. "Like, you don’t mind?"
"It’s fine," Sheik answered, giving that short dismissive gesture of a Roman consul- slight weary wave of the hand.
"Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden or anything," Link said as he stepped in tandem with Sheik; they started off in the direction of the harbor, away from the cloister and the downtown grit.
"You won’t be," Sheik responded, taking measure of his tone- eyes flashing to the street as they walked along.
Link paused; then let out a laugh- sound sliding slight between his teeth. "’Cause y’know," he began, looking at Sheik directly, "I don’t wanna go to your house and like, find your gramma locked up in your attic or anything."
"It’s fine- her cage is in the parlor, so no worries," Sheik answered, voice sliding off effortless laughter, even though none was audible. The sun had been white before; but now the cold was dying down, was shifting into soft folds of gold, the layers of the cosmic air...and anyway, the sound waves of Link’s laughter hopped off the nearby buildings, caught a spell, pervaded over the area...
It seemed like signals of water were kissing mist into the air. The streets were barren, devoid of green, but laid down low with the gun seduction of the sudden warmth. "What? It got all hot all of a sudden," Link remarked, sticking out his tongue with dissatisfaction.
"It’s a mask," Sheik responded, panther beat in his steps as he walked ahead of Link; "Criminals kiss on the sly when the air is too thick to see through. It’s a way to hide."
Link turned to Sheik, looking to say something, eyes bright on thought; but Shek’s eyes were turned away, and he was heading off in some separate direction- leading the way, like he should. An electric cosmic trail along the nameless concrete. Some guys were talking by a news stand (the last stand of the city, Link guessed): "Yeah, yeah- Darmani’s new girl is beautiful, beautiful!"
"Is she?"
"Yeah,- heh, pretty as the Princess!"
-But they faded out of earshot, and construction trucks were speeding down the road, obscuring the winking laughs. The streets here were peaceful, Link noticed- not too much traffic, and the only people outside had someplace worthwhile to go to. Every color faded back to nature, and there wasn’t that much smog.
The lots were empty- most of them had nothing built on them, so there was considerable space between the houses. There were bits of foliage, hedges in box things and pattern-planted trees, so it started to look a bit like a suburb (would’ve looked like one, if not for the metal pale undercurrent of industry that was a song in the breeze here; also, the factory across the river).
They came near to a two-family ranch, kinda small and nondescript looking- painted stucco, two small concrete porches; there were flowers under the windows on the side that faced them. Sheik began up the stairs of the porch, Link following behind him, spun up in a strange impression- Sheik lived here?...something about it struck him funny...
Sheik got out a key and Link made some lame forgettable joke as the door clicked open...Sheik replied, and Link poked his head inside the door before going in, taking a look that was ineffective for the blindness of his perception. With an eager step he started in, but an older lady was heading out, so they stopped short in the foyer by the door.
She and Sheik exchanged a few words- talked politely and with a tacit vocabulary, both knew what the other was saying and beyond necessities time didn’t have to be wasted. They seemed to regard each other with patience. Link wondered who she was- his aunt or something? Definitely couldn’t be his mother...
The woman greeted Link formally and went out the door. "Should I take off my shoes?-" Link asked, hit by a sudden feeling...there was something strange about the house, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
"Hmm? If you’d like," Sheik responded, tone mild, cracking his knuckles absently. Sheik was good with shadows, was good with ink and veils- you couldn’t see the edginess he was felt even though it was compact, tensing within his veins...he was sure Link couldn’t notice, anyway. Like pointed lightning, like dark lashing off water...
"Who was that lady, by the way?" Link asked as he pushed off his shoes- he didn’t hesitate to ask that. Usually he would pause before asking Sheik anything personal.
"The maid," Sheik answered, walking ahead of him- the only place you could see the edge was in the swing of his walk; his movements were strange- mixing tenseness with a warm, comfortable way of moving.
Link followed behind; the first thing that caught his eye was the whiskey dull of an upright piano a little past the foyer, spinning a clean feeling off its colors...something antique: antique in that it came from some industrial baby era, without florid carvings or metal bomb. It was next to a potted plant, the sun slanted like a knife off a window nearby...
And then the small hall opened into a large room. The walls were still stucco- painted dark Southern blue...this was a living room maybe? There was a couch and some things scattered around, then after a divider across the way a small kitchen, breathing a quiet song with its sun and scents...there was sun all over this room: it hung in the air, it clarified the corners of the room and lent strange shapes to shadows. A table was the nearest thing...
It seemed at once crowded and empty- seemed like it was open and cluttered at the same time, like there were lots of things but they didn’t intrude on mass or matter. It seemed like this was a place you could breathe, like you could move easy in here, not have to worry. There were some plants around- things that were subtle and exotic, touched the air delicately. Primary colors were subtly exploding, blues, reds, yellows...the windows were pretty big- had small spaces under them you could sit in. Under one of the windows was all these soda cans, colored bottles; flowers in them, sitting fresh among the sugar and the logos- light cast off their faces...
Made flower song, was the life of flowers. Link blinked openly at the room before him. "Wow," he said, his tone with awe and seriousness, "This is really nice, Sheik."
Sheik let off a hoarse chuckle. "Glad it’s to your liking," he said, blood skipping a beat as he was put a little at ease.
"This is like, what a home should be," Link said, wandering into the room, looking at the things on the bookshelves and the pieces of mail on the coffee table like it was nobody’s business. "It’s so clean! I wanna live here." He sent a flashing glance back at Sheik, a young smirk (wherein the devil and an angel shone smokey through the white). "How much for rent?"
"Your soul once a month should pay the dues," Sheik responded, the beat of the syllables in that certain timing, like he was reciting an infomercial.
Link laughed, orange juice blues. "How would that work out?" he asked, plopping himself down on a cursory lounge without inhibitions.
"Hm, we’d have to work that out," Sheik responded, but looked away as though seeing burned him, because somewhere in a dark feeling he knew how that would work out. And it was frustrating, because although he knew, words didn’t shape the thought, it just burned dark cherry, smoked and flared; and he wasn’t used to feeling this way.
Link looked at the tiles on the ceiling- almost imperceptible, the lines between were sharply hidden- stretched out a little, then lay supine. "Are you thirsty?" Sheik asked, moving into the kitchen with some mail in hand.
"Nah, I’m okay," Link called back. There was rustling; he closed his eyes, felt sleepy in the sudden sticky honey warmth...Sheik opened the fridge, poured himself a drink- pulled down his mask a little with his back turned to Link, took a long gulp and tossed the glass into the sink. Put the mask back up, then headed back to the living room.
Link rolled over on his side when Sheik came back into the room, propping up his elbow and leaning his head into his palm. "Is Zelda really pretty?" he asked, looking up at Sheik.
Sheik paused to ponder what ruminations she had left in him.
"She’s alright, I suppose," he shrugged after a gold colored thinking moment. "She’s never really invoked anything in me."
"Oh. Jeez, how did it get so hot all of a sudden?" Link answered, asking the air, asking nobody- switching between topics without bias. Something about this place put him at ease. But it was weird, in that it fit Sheik and yet didn’t. It fit him because of the colors- because of the juxtaposition of cursory items, the light that came in like ghost metals. It didn’t fit him because it was peaceful here.
He looked back up at Sheik; Sheik looked at him for a moment, then focused his attention elsewhere. "Why are your eyes red?" Link asked, the question popping into his mind from nowhere- just came from looking at Sheik, he guessed. The tone of the question implied, "Why are Sheikahs’ eyes red," it was just worded a little funny.
Sheik’s eyes flickered back to Link; thrown into that light that made it like carnivorous magic. "Our eyes couldn’t cry anymore, so they started to bleed," he responded with a simple logic.
The thought of that hit Link sadly, even though Sheik said it with a slight amusement. "A lot of bad stuff happens, huh?" Link said, with a vague tiredness crossing his mouth.
"It does," Sheik answered; leaned against the wall opposite Link, shifted his posture so that it fit the dark just right.
"It’s really peaceful here, though," Link went on, like he was trying to sort out some long-off distant thought. "I think that if I lived in a place like this, maybe it would be easier? I dono."
Sheik gave a small laughing glance, tilted his head up as though to see Link from far away. "Easier? You look as though you haven’t a care," he said, and he lied, because although the fact had never been clarified he knew that there was some burden that Link was carrying- he could see it in the cigarette way he moved, in the soft cold rain of his eyes-
Link seemed to think about that for a short moment. "I worry sometimes," he said, and the sad sweetness of his words cast its arms around Sheik, enveloped him in a piercing sound, between warmth and shadowy cool- between light music and pepper stars. "I worry about, whether I’m doing the right thing." Everything was vision in hot and cold, but with the sun’s patina- the way the warm light touched Link just so, and..."Because, there’s a lot of hurt in the world. You can hurt someone and not even know it. A person’s heart is really important. It’s like. When you’re hurt the world can turn inside out. There’s a lot of pain, and I don’t want to be that kind of person."
Then a moment, where things switched, flashed, from dark back to light; and Link paused, seeming to catch himself- looked at Sheik and laughed sunnily. It was unknowable whether or not the champagne sounds were happy or sad; or if there was pain or confusion. Link was just there, posture all low and slim, the sunlight like honey softly on his body, shirt sort of messed up, unbuttoned, casual. It all happened without the comfort of clarity, like time had erupted. Loneliness seared hollow across Sheik’s chest- just the pure feeling of being alone, full and poignant like the salt before tears, that long dark empty feeling of absence. And then high nervous fear, rising and billowing like color in the sea, because the only clear thought that came into his mind was that this loneliness could be ameliorated if he could just feel in Link the shock of contact, the star’s itch, the darkness and sugar: could just touch him...and that would make the loneliness longing, and that was terrifying to him.
Another day and no more sorrow, and Link wasn’t even aware of the explosions, the destruction, he caused with his honesty and smiles. But then, as stated before, everybody was wearing a mask, so how could he be aware? Today Sheik was off someplace else, something secret, so he killed time by going out to eat with Shad and Malon.
It was some hipster diner-type place. It had that synthetic pop vibe, but there were posters of musicians & the underground plastered all over the walls- a lot of the Indigo-go’s. Anyway they were sitting in a booth huddled against the window, Malon with a pretty smile on her face, Shad with his usual eyes of acceptance and asking.
"Oh, did you hear?" Malon asked, suddenly and brightly, and pointed a french fry at Link across the table. "Zelda’s coming back next week!"
"Oh, she is?" Link responded, tipping his head curiously; then smiled, picked up his soda. "That’s cool."
"Wanna meet her, right?" Malon teased, with a pressing wink.
"Fulfilling your boyhood dreams and everything?"
Link laughed a little in response. "It’ll be nice to meet her," he said, then paused on a half-thought. "Since she’s Sheik’s friend, she’ll probably be fun."
Malon laughed coolly. "Jeez, you’re dumb," she said, then leaned forward. "Haven’t you seen Zelda before? Most guys’d be wetting their pants."
"Huh? No, I haven’t seen her before. Is she pretty?"
Malon laughed again, indulgent and incendiary. "You’re a piece of work, Link, you know that?"
Link shrugged, innocent of the accusation; then looked out on the scenes outside the window, playing in electric time. "Why are they friends, anyway?" he asked, half-turning back to Shad and Malon, "Are they like similar or something?"
Shad paused; exchanged a glance with Malon, and then looked back at Link. "Are they similar?...I suppose not. They’re rather dissimilar, actually," he said, pushing up his glasses a bit.
"They don’t have anything in common, though?" Link asked, smiling absently at the scene outside- a man whose pants were being torn up by a tiny ratty dog, balloons carried by a huge woman who owned the street...
He was too spaced out to notice the quick flashing beat of a pause, but it struck him when Malon said with acid in her voice, "Yeah, they both have no heart."
Link’s eyes blinked confusedly back to her. Shad’s mouth turned in disapproval. "That’s not entirely true," he corrected, his voice not so aloof as his words would imply.
Malon raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah," she began like a lecturer, "Excuse me, Sheik has a black shriveled heart."
"What do you mean she has no heart?" Link asked, picking up a french fry off Malon’s plate.
"Hey, that’s mine! Thief!" she exclaimed; Link sent her a tomcat grin, and she laughed in return, but then set her eyes to some soft thought. "Well, I don’t know. Zelda’s just a very- cold person. She seems, like- immovable, almost. There’s something about her eyes...She’s just not very friendly, I guess is what I’m saying. She’s okay and everything, but you just get this feeling when she’s around."
"I would suppose that Zelda is naturally very guarded," Shad said, digging his fork into his food as some aggressive beat bopped down from the ceiling speakers.
"I asked her how she was feeling once," Malon rejoined, taking hold of her milkshake. "She told me she ‘felt in theory.’"
"Zelda is very intelligent," Shad replied, "Her thoughts are naturally quite abstract."
Malon paused, then broke into a starry laugh. "Oh, shut up, Shad," she said, rolling her teasing eyes over to him (he sat, innocent and accused by her knowing mouth), "You’ve got like, the biggest hard-on for her in history."
Link choked a little on his soda, then, laughing, high-fived Malon across the table while Shad just sat there, shaking his head. Link and Malon finished up their laughing fit, and Link leaned back into the booth with a vague smile. "Yeah, but, I don’t know, I don’t think Sheik’s like that," he said, stealing another french fry from Malon’s plate.
There was a pause as Shad’s and Malon’s minds rewound the conversation to the point about Sheik. "Oh," Malon said, "You mean that you don’t think he has a black shriveled heart and is incapable of feeling love for anybody but himself? And stop it with the french fries or I’ll impose a tax."
Link just shrugged sweetly. "I don’t know. He might come off that way," he started, leaning on the table and looking outside, "but I think it’s because he wants to be sincere. Like, he doesn’t want to just say things or be somebody for other people- because that would just be falling into a lie. I don’t think he means to hurt anybody." He paused. "I think it’s better that he’s sincere, anyway."
Shad looked at Link consideringly- as though his words confirmed something Shad had been thinking for a long time- and Malon paused and just waved it off. "Okay," she said. "That may be true, but I still think he’s a horrible person. Want a french fry, fairy boy?" she asked, tilting her plate with a grin on her face.
"I don’t have any money for your tax," Link answered, grinning right back.
"Just kiss me, that’s the tax," she replied with a wink; then doubled back on that thought, ran a hand through her hot hair. "You got a girl yet, by the way? You need a girl-"
And the conversation ran off in that way, slipped off cliffs, slicked like oil and receded out of memory. It was getting kinda late, the pink was crawling between clouds and bleeding into the blue outside, so Link began to shuffle out of the booth. "I gotta go meet Sheik and Raven," he said with a smile, getting up- throwing some money on the table. Actually, he’d gotten quite a bit of money from when he last worked with Raven, so he was set for now...
"Okay, don’t have too much fun now," Malon said, reaching up to hug him.
"Good seeing you," Shad said, with a smile.
Link turned windily to go, but pivoted right back around, a question in his eyes. "Oh, Shad," he began, "I wanted to ask you something about Sheikahs."
Shad blinked. "It’s not my area of expertise, but I may be able to help," he smiled, "What did you want to know?"
"Oh, just- is there something wrong in their-? I mean, what happened to the Sheikah? Do they have a bloody history or something?" Link asked.
A curious look passed Shad’s face. "Well," he began, "the Sheikah haven’t had too violent of a history. You’ll understand that every race and culture has had- wars, conflict, general wrongdoing...but nothing out of the usual for Hyrule. Why?"
"Oh, no reason. Thanks!" Link nodded with a smile, and turned off to leave, out of their and into some other impressions. Shad and Malon just looked at each other with a shrug, and went back to their meal.
Shad and Malon were nice. He liked Malon especially, she was fun and just generally a good person. He felt they had a lot of things in common. They had the same sense of humor and the same references. The thing that tied them together the most though was that they were two people who didn’t have money, didn’t come from money, travelling within circles wherein everybody had money. It did make a subtle difference, and they understood the same type of things. Malon came from the country like he did; four days a week she worked as a coatcheck girl in a dinner joint.
Pretty much the only thing they disagreed on was Sheik. Ah, well, different strokes for different folks. Or something. Link pondered how stupid that saying sounded as he rounded smokey corners, passed by coffee stands and separate scenes that seemed to complete some vague puzzle. Whatever it was, it was beyond his reach.
The sun was setting, or had set already- there was a clarity and a darkness that dusted over. Autumn had a supply of gold- you could see it round 7 PM. It washed over the streets in a rainy light, dripping off the trees. In disabling laughter Sheik and Link leaned on one another as they walked down the incendiary street; the place the group’d wanted to go to turned out to have burned down a couple days ago, so they headed to some stale lounge where everybody was self-conscious and the music was too loud. Raven got them kicked out, though, so here they were, on the sidewalk and walking down lanes of stars.
It was Sheik, Link, and Raven, as usual; this time, there was also the twins, and the writer...that was a surprise, since he usually didn’t hang around with them. The writer was suspiciously anonymous, and today he seemed to be quieter than usual, on the verge of an idea...
But nobody cared much. Raven was smoking a fat cigarette, rolling his eyes at Sheik and Link. "Fucking get a new joke, you retarts," he bit irritatedly, smoke streaming out of his mouth, "The beggar shit’s gettin’ old."
"Don’t get sensitive, Raven," Link grinned, glancing back at him.
"You can’t get a meal if you’re nursing a heavy heart," Sheik answered, gasping leopard dark, eyes bright and veiled; "It so happens I’ve some change, though- perhaps fortune’s smiling on you?"
"I don’t take money from fuckin’ masked terrorists," Raven snapped, "But thanks anyway."
"Rather be a terrorist," Sheik said, words teetering on a knife’s edge as he walked like wind out from under Link’s arm, "Explosions would be under my grasp: in bomb time, the sundial subjects- not the slow decay of beggar life. Regardless, what does it matter? Double-time or slow-motion, it’s all back to sound and earth."
Link smiled, pausing on that thought; Sheik was careful not to look at him- it was unpredictable, when the hot and cold would make pressure black over his eyes, when the simultaneous regret and warmth would flush back into his chest. It was better to keep distracted.
Raven replied something, the twins made some remark, quiet enveloped slow and warm as smoke. The rain gold faded gradually into vintage blue, and they came near the mouth of a playground. Sheik meandered in, as though it was normal for them to go to a playground, with Link towing close behind. Mothers cast them dirty eyes, ushered their children out past the gang of smoking cretins at the gates.
Link breezed in, stood next to Sheik, pondered the swings and the slides like they were opportunities; humming a recently popular radio song because he couldn’t remember the words. Sheik looked at him with quiet in his eyes, and Link looked back and smiled.
Sheik turned his eyes away while Link began to speak- feeling full that boulevard chord itching in his veins. "Nice night, huh? All the fireflies are gone already, though," Link observed casually, swinging his arms at his sides.
Sheik was distracted enough for a moment to let off a small laugh at Link’s incoherent mind; but a thought struck Raven, and he broke the conversation. "Oh yeah- hey you, Zelda’s comin’ back next week," he nodded toward Link casually.
Link looked back toward him. "Ah? Yeah, I know, Malon told me today."
"Yeah, and this one dint even bother to say anything," Raven said, raising an eyebrow and pointing to Sheik. "Hadda find that shit out on the news. You keepin’ secrets or what?"
Sheik turned back to Raven- looked at him with that sidelong glance, that mild look of the manic snake, something about him seeming to smile. "I may be," he answered, folding his arms, "What would you be willing to know, Raven?"
Raven’s eyes turned suspicious, surly. "Tch, nuthin’ from you, ya criminal."
Sheik laughed; Link’s eyes turned up thoughtfully. "What day is she coming back, anyway?"
"Hmm? That still has to be worked out," Sheik answered, turning back to Link. "Zelda’s importance runs vague lines," he added, with something sardonic and dark in his voice that Link couldn’t read.
"So? Ya lookin’ forward to meetin’ her, kid?" Raven asked, catching Link in a half-headlock.
"Owch! Raven, did you just grab my ass?" Link laughed. "Yeah, I guess. If she’s Sheik’s friend she must be cool."
"Hear that, Sheik? At least somebody likes you," Raven said, letting go of Link- and Raven said it casually, unaware of this burning idea that was trapped inside Sheik’s eyes.
"Yeah, I- oh crap!" Link suddenly exclaimed, bringing a hand tentatively to his mouth.
"What’s wrong?" Sheik asked, head tipping curiously.
"What time is it?"
"’Round seven," the twins said in unison, looking up from an ant they were studying.
"I gotta go," Link said hurriedly, eyes concerned, set immediately on his new destination- Link was like that, fully concentrated on one point when he needed to be. "I forgot I have to help clean the kitchen! See you guys. ’Bye Sheik," he said, touching Sheik’s arm lightly as he ran off toward the iron gates.
The group watched him as he turned right, down the street, presumably toward the bus stop or something. There was a spot of silence as the leaves whirled in a small breeze.
Raven’s eyes flattened. "I could’ve just called him a cab," he said, like his brain had deflated, "Shit, he’s stupid."
"He’s focused, I suppose," Sheik observed.
"...He’s probably gonna get hit by a fucking car on the way there," Raven replied.
"Link," Sheik began, with a tone of voice that Raven and the others had never heard before- made them listen intently, wonder what it meant- "Link is touched by luck. He’s a favored son- a seventh son, seems like Link carries light with him." There were parts left out; but that was something that even he hadn’t figured out yet, so he decided it was prudent to keep quiet about it.
Raven paused. "Yeah, he’s a good kid," he shrugged, getting out another cigarette. Then a quiet idea came into his eyes. "You know, we oughta do sumthin’ fer him."
"Yeah, we should," the twins agreed, nodding sagely.
"Like?" Sheik asked, posture seeming to sigh as he looked toward the flowers and the swings.
"...I dono," Raven shrugged, like that shouldn’t be up to him.
Sheik’s eyes glowed in a dark shade and he seemed to laugh imperceptibly. "I can see it now: Raven in a sequined gown, arriving at Link’s house with a basket of cupcakes, flowers adorning the path. Eagles and fanfare announcing his arrival. That would work, Raven. Your measurements?"
"Ha-ha, you slay me," Raven answered, obscured in a cloud of smoke; then he made a movement that was like a breath of relief, stretching like a cat, cigarette hanging limp out of his mouth. "You know what that fucker needs? He needs a girl." He paused, then grinned. "Hell, I need a girl. Another girl, that is."
The writer paused from obscurity, seemed to be part of the scenery again. "He’d probably have more fun if he had a girl," he chimed in- but there was something in his voice that was hidden, like he was constructing an idea.
There was a sudden nothingness in Sheik’s breathing- just an absence of any reaction, and he paused to ruminate on that. There was a subtle darkness brewing like a cloud over him, but nothing else...they continued their conversation: "Yeah, I mean, that chick Princess digs him," Raven said, "Like, really fuckin’ digs him-"
"Her?" Sheik suddenly replied, voice dark and full of acid- but with just a touch of casualness to cause a gelatinous unease to settle in the air. "She’s a little girl, what can she do for him? Better to pair him with a mannequin."
The others read the atmosphere- knew now that they were treading within a danger zone. Sheik’s posture was coiled and tensed, within some heat of feeling that clouded his perception momentarily; then something in him flushed, and the tenseness wore out, died down. Seeing that, Raven started to talk again- although the words were rounded, like stepping around a sleeping carnivore. "I mean, she’s cute- got a cute face, nice ass. She ain’t that smart, that’s always a fuckin’ plus," he shrugged. "She digs ’im is all, she’ll go along with it."
"A hero needs a girl!" one of the brothers shouted to the birds, like a rowdy reminder.
Raven looked toward Sheik- the de facto leader of the gang, after all, and if Sheik didn’t give consent everyone knew it wouldn’t go down smoothly. Nobody asked why he wouldn’t go with the plan- it was something unsaid that Sheik didn’t like questions to be asked.
Again the feeling of nothing. Sheik’s streaming mind didn’t pause to think on why feelings came in staccato cliffs, rising and falling with the quickness of flames. He felt now as though he needed to put his guard back up, to become distant once again. "It’s fine; do what you like," he replied, mildly. They went off to planning as Sheik watched for stars to pass by his brain. The only one who found the tone in his voice odd, actually, was the writer.
Continue to Part 2...
author's note: *"I is another" - "Je est une autre" i think it is, that's rimbaud.
pairing: Sheik X Link X Zelda triangle; Sheik X Link and Zelda X Link
rating: PG-13
genre: romance / AU
chapter summary: Sheik has a sort of mental breakdown as he realizes, through jealousy and joy, that his feelings for Link may be stronger than he thinks.
author's note: alternate summary: "link never knew his appetite could get him into so much trouble."
Fall air was white and crisp with the knife edge of avalanche sun; breathed cool into the windows on the honey morning when Link woke up...woke up, shaking off the impressions of some dream, walking out of the impossible realm like a zombie...then after a few sleepy moments, the realization hit him that- he’d forgotten his hat in the car last night...
A tiny depression sank into his shoulders as he got up and dressed- same kinda melodramatic depression hits a kid when he loses his favorite toy or something. He actually liked that hat- it looked kind of like a sleeping cap, and he wore it so that it fit over the back of his head. The first time he’d worn it, Sheik had looked at him as though remembering something, and just said, "Nice hat."
He didn’t wear it that much, but still...he discussed his problem with some people who told him he should call his friends and ask around. That was a good idea which should have been obvious...anyway, to that end he got the phone and called up Sheik- he didn’t have Shad or Princess’ number, and last time he called Raven before 1 he got a tongue-lashing. Sheik was probably awake though- did Sheik ever sleep? he wondered, looking around the room with spacey eyes. He seemed to be up at all hours- biding his energy like a snake or something...
He actually had no idea how Sheik lived, aside from when they were together- that was okay, he guessed. Surprisingly, Sheik did have his hat. They talked a bit, exchanged a joke or two, got down to business and decided on a place to meet.
So he finished up some chores around the house, cleaned up all the remnants of a previous mind- walked into the early afternoon. Outside it was clear as a picture, had this blinding clarity...struck like neon. And down the streets of silent dreams, down the lanes of impression he walked on, one sole innocent on the street of poisoned people...goldwire spun in his heart and mind: some high school girls giggled as he passed, playing empty songs that struck him funny...
But it didn’t matter. He met Sheik on an open street- each regarded the other with tepid familiarity, with a cagey warmth. Sheik looked as usual like he belonged to the night, was its only subject, therefore its leader; his eyes were bright, riot red, but were lidded sleepy. He regarded Link’s hat like it was a strange artifact; then held it up with a mild look in his eyes. "You were drunk on night," he greeted, voice soft and fluid, "Your hat was upset; jealous, and so stayed behind, told me all about it."
Link laughed and took his hat, slung it over his shoulder. "Was it? Well, that’s what it gets for being such a nag," he mused; then looked at Sheik with that low confidence in his eyes..."So? Whachya doin’? How are you?"
Link’s questions were asked like a schoolkid’s, something light hidden behind the movements of his tongue. Sheik had been feeling strangely lately, but Link couldn’t tell; he shifted his balance and sighed to the street. "Fine, I suppose. There have been changes in the air; the currents aren’t quite the same." He lowered his eyes, then flashed them toward Link. "‘I’ is another*, but I am the general,- the ancient eyes seem to be perceiving...how are you?"
Link’s eyes brightened with thought, became softer with light; he smiled, shoved his hands down in his jean pockets. "I’m good. I’m kinda hungry.- Do you really feel that way?"
"What way?"
"‘I’ is another."
Sheik’s eyes seemed to smile up at him. "Sometimes," he said- the word became like rain and music, molded by the liquid darkness of his voice- and the response was sad, but it had hints of a fire.
Link looked at Sheik for a moment, unaware of the silence- wondered vaguely if it was that way, if Sheik’s life was just a series of masks, of different hearts. It was hard to tell with Sheik. Sheik could be everything and nothing all at once- he could be part of the world and just as easily slip out of it, gone like yesterday. Link hoped that Sheik wasn’t just some shadow, it didn’t seem that way to him...
But the slimness of Link’s eyes over him- crashed like paint, like the beating of ocean waves, caused something dark to flare inside Sheik’s mind; he eyelessly brushed off the feeling, froze it over and pushed it off to some dark corner. He was about to say something- got out the tangled syllable, "Wha-", but Link spoke before he did.
"I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that way," Link mused, with a smile that just mixed up Sheik’s impressions, "I don’t think I have, but it sounds familiar. Weird, huh?"
Sheik paused- cat’s eyes on the coin. "Not at all- that’s the brand of understanding."
"That doesn’t sound good," Link answered with an easy laugh.
Sheik’s eyes took on that soft look- like the gentle hands of storms, like the radio signal from some long-off distant place. Warmth in his voice, as well. "It’s not," he replied, "and yet it is. The world is strange, hm?"
"Yep yep," Link nodded, "But I’d rather understand than walk asleep."
"That’s a good way of putting it," Sheik nodded, eyes for pride; but then he felt the turning of the earth, felt the sun like a wristwatch, and kicked at some pebbles on the sidewalk as they talked. "Where will you be tonight?"
Link’s eyes turned thoughtfully toward the sky. "Uhh, I don’t know- where are you gonna be?" He paused, then grinned. "Not that I’m trying to hit on you or anything."
"I’m sure," Sheik replied, with an easy confidence that made Link laugh. "Most likely, I’ll be with Raven. There’s a place downtown- I’ll give you the address, if you’d like."
"Oh, uh, sure," Link answered, confused as to why Sheik was offering the address- wouldn’t they go together?
They spent ten minutes or so looking for some paper to write on; settled on the back of a religious propaganda flier blowing on the sidewalk like a forgotten army. Sheik wrote down the address in dark blue; then, his posture poised and slim, he shifted back. "Well, I’ll see you tonight," he said, looking up toward Link-
-whose mouth turned in a cross between rainy blue and confusion. "See you tonight?" What did that mean? "Hey, wait, where’re you going?" Link asked, the blue fading into a bright smile.
Sheik’s balance teetered as he half-turned away from Link, a curious expression passing into his eyes. "-I’m going home," he said, the tone of his voice slightly amused.
Link paused- he had never been in Sheik’s house before; Sheik had never even mentioned that he had a house, so Link pretty much thought it was safe to assume that that was something Sheik was keeping off-limits, private. He knew Sheik was a reserved person, so he didn’t want to be pushy...but still, damn, he had to spend the rest of the afternoon being epically bored..."Oh, okay- catchya later then," he said, concluding the conversation with a short wave.
Something in Sheik constricted- like the tightening of fists- that dark way you take inventory of the rain. It was a blinding realization, that there was so much doubt still clutching, grasping. That he had to keep reminding himself that it was only Link...but was it? And what would he owe him, what subtle lines would change shape? Was he just being dramatic, did it really matter?-
Link seemed to notice the strange lean of Sheik’s posture, that movement as if to say "wait"; so he lingered on, looking at Sheik curiously. Sheik could feel nervousness clamor into his throat (and that premonition crossing his mind again- those dark words that were rushed and murmured, but bore the heaviness of "well, you’re fucked now"), but it came easily when he said, "You can come along, if you’d like."
Link paused; then his face brightened to a grin. "Seriously!?" he exclaimed, moving toward Sheik with blind puppy excitement. "Like, you don’t mind?"
"It’s fine," Sheik answered, giving that short dismissive gesture of a Roman consul- slight weary wave of the hand.
"Are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden or anything," Link said as he stepped in tandem with Sheik; they started off in the direction of the harbor, away from the cloister and the downtown grit.
"You won’t be," Sheik responded, taking measure of his tone- eyes flashing to the street as they walked along.
Link paused; then let out a laugh- sound sliding slight between his teeth. "’Cause y’know," he began, looking at Sheik directly, "I don’t wanna go to your house and like, find your gramma locked up in your attic or anything."
"It’s fine- her cage is in the parlor, so no worries," Sheik answered, voice sliding off effortless laughter, even though none was audible. The sun had been white before; but now the cold was dying down, was shifting into soft folds of gold, the layers of the cosmic air...and anyway, the sound waves of Link’s laughter hopped off the nearby buildings, caught a spell, pervaded over the area...
It seemed like signals of water were kissing mist into the air. The streets were barren, devoid of green, but laid down low with the gun seduction of the sudden warmth. "What? It got all hot all of a sudden," Link remarked, sticking out his tongue with dissatisfaction.
"It’s a mask," Sheik responded, panther beat in his steps as he walked ahead of Link; "Criminals kiss on the sly when the air is too thick to see through. It’s a way to hide."
Link turned to Sheik, looking to say something, eyes bright on thought; but Shek’s eyes were turned away, and he was heading off in some separate direction- leading the way, like he should. An electric cosmic trail along the nameless concrete. Some guys were talking by a news stand (the last stand of the city, Link guessed): "Yeah, yeah- Darmani’s new girl is beautiful, beautiful!"
"Is she?"
"Yeah,- heh, pretty as the Princess!"
-But they faded out of earshot, and construction trucks were speeding down the road, obscuring the winking laughs. The streets here were peaceful, Link noticed- not too much traffic, and the only people outside had someplace worthwhile to go to. Every color faded back to nature, and there wasn’t that much smog.
The lots were empty- most of them had nothing built on them, so there was considerable space between the houses. There were bits of foliage, hedges in box things and pattern-planted trees, so it started to look a bit like a suburb (would’ve looked like one, if not for the metal pale undercurrent of industry that was a song in the breeze here; also, the factory across the river).
They came near to a two-family ranch, kinda small and nondescript looking- painted stucco, two small concrete porches; there were flowers under the windows on the side that faced them. Sheik began up the stairs of the porch, Link following behind him, spun up in a strange impression- Sheik lived here?...something about it struck him funny...
Sheik got out a key and Link made some lame forgettable joke as the door clicked open...Sheik replied, and Link poked his head inside the door before going in, taking a look that was ineffective for the blindness of his perception. With an eager step he started in, but an older lady was heading out, so they stopped short in the foyer by the door.
She and Sheik exchanged a few words- talked politely and with a tacit vocabulary, both knew what the other was saying and beyond necessities time didn’t have to be wasted. They seemed to regard each other with patience. Link wondered who she was- his aunt or something? Definitely couldn’t be his mother...
The woman greeted Link formally and went out the door. "Should I take off my shoes?-" Link asked, hit by a sudden feeling...there was something strange about the house, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
"Hmm? If you’d like," Sheik responded, tone mild, cracking his knuckles absently. Sheik was good with shadows, was good with ink and veils- you couldn’t see the edginess he was felt even though it was compact, tensing within his veins...he was sure Link couldn’t notice, anyway. Like pointed lightning, like dark lashing off water...
"Who was that lady, by the way?" Link asked as he pushed off his shoes- he didn’t hesitate to ask that. Usually he would pause before asking Sheik anything personal.
"The maid," Sheik answered, walking ahead of him- the only place you could see the edge was in the swing of his walk; his movements were strange- mixing tenseness with a warm, comfortable way of moving.
Link followed behind; the first thing that caught his eye was the whiskey dull of an upright piano a little past the foyer, spinning a clean feeling off its colors...something antique: antique in that it came from some industrial baby era, without florid carvings or metal bomb. It was next to a potted plant, the sun slanted like a knife off a window nearby...
And then the small hall opened into a large room. The walls were still stucco- painted dark Southern blue...this was a living room maybe? There was a couch and some things scattered around, then after a divider across the way a small kitchen, breathing a quiet song with its sun and scents...there was sun all over this room: it hung in the air, it clarified the corners of the room and lent strange shapes to shadows. A table was the nearest thing...
It seemed at once crowded and empty- seemed like it was open and cluttered at the same time, like there were lots of things but they didn’t intrude on mass or matter. It seemed like this was a place you could breathe, like you could move easy in here, not have to worry. There were some plants around- things that were subtle and exotic, touched the air delicately. Primary colors were subtly exploding, blues, reds, yellows...the windows were pretty big- had small spaces under them you could sit in. Under one of the windows was all these soda cans, colored bottles; flowers in them, sitting fresh among the sugar and the logos- light cast off their faces...
Made flower song, was the life of flowers. Link blinked openly at the room before him. "Wow," he said, his tone with awe and seriousness, "This is really nice, Sheik."
Sheik let off a hoarse chuckle. "Glad it’s to your liking," he said, blood skipping a beat as he was put a little at ease.
"This is like, what a home should be," Link said, wandering into the room, looking at the things on the bookshelves and the pieces of mail on the coffee table like it was nobody’s business. "It’s so clean! I wanna live here." He sent a flashing glance back at Sheik, a young smirk (wherein the devil and an angel shone smokey through the white). "How much for rent?"
"Your soul once a month should pay the dues," Sheik responded, the beat of the syllables in that certain timing, like he was reciting an infomercial.
Link laughed, orange juice blues. "How would that work out?" he asked, plopping himself down on a cursory lounge without inhibitions.
"Hm, we’d have to work that out," Sheik responded, but looked away as though seeing burned him, because somewhere in a dark feeling he knew how that would work out. And it was frustrating, because although he knew, words didn’t shape the thought, it just burned dark cherry, smoked and flared; and he wasn’t used to feeling this way.
Link looked at the tiles on the ceiling- almost imperceptible, the lines between were sharply hidden- stretched out a little, then lay supine. "Are you thirsty?" Sheik asked, moving into the kitchen with some mail in hand.
"Nah, I’m okay," Link called back. There was rustling; he closed his eyes, felt sleepy in the sudden sticky honey warmth...Sheik opened the fridge, poured himself a drink- pulled down his mask a little with his back turned to Link, took a long gulp and tossed the glass into the sink. Put the mask back up, then headed back to the living room.
Link rolled over on his side when Sheik came back into the room, propping up his elbow and leaning his head into his palm. "Is Zelda really pretty?" he asked, looking up at Sheik.
Sheik paused to ponder what ruminations she had left in him.
"She’s alright, I suppose," he shrugged after a gold colored thinking moment. "She’s never really invoked anything in me."
"Oh. Jeez, how did it get so hot all of a sudden?" Link answered, asking the air, asking nobody- switching between topics without bias. Something about this place put him at ease. But it was weird, in that it fit Sheik and yet didn’t. It fit him because of the colors- because of the juxtaposition of cursory items, the light that came in like ghost metals. It didn’t fit him because it was peaceful here.
He looked back up at Sheik; Sheik looked at him for a moment, then focused his attention elsewhere. "Why are your eyes red?" Link asked, the question popping into his mind from nowhere- just came from looking at Sheik, he guessed. The tone of the question implied, "Why are Sheikahs’ eyes red," it was just worded a little funny.
Sheik’s eyes flickered back to Link; thrown into that light that made it like carnivorous magic. "Our eyes couldn’t cry anymore, so they started to bleed," he responded with a simple logic.
The thought of that hit Link sadly, even though Sheik said it with a slight amusement. "A lot of bad stuff happens, huh?" Link said, with a vague tiredness crossing his mouth.
"It does," Sheik answered; leaned against the wall opposite Link, shifted his posture so that it fit the dark just right.
"It’s really peaceful here, though," Link went on, like he was trying to sort out some long-off distant thought. "I think that if I lived in a place like this, maybe it would be easier? I dono."
Sheik gave a small laughing glance, tilted his head up as though to see Link from far away. "Easier? You look as though you haven’t a care," he said, and he lied, because although the fact had never been clarified he knew that there was some burden that Link was carrying- he could see it in the cigarette way he moved, in the soft cold rain of his eyes-
Link seemed to think about that for a short moment. "I worry sometimes," he said, and the sad sweetness of his words cast its arms around Sheik, enveloped him in a piercing sound, between warmth and shadowy cool- between light music and pepper stars. "I worry about, whether I’m doing the right thing." Everything was vision in hot and cold, but with the sun’s patina- the way the warm light touched Link just so, and..."Because, there’s a lot of hurt in the world. You can hurt someone and not even know it. A person’s heart is really important. It’s like. When you’re hurt the world can turn inside out. There’s a lot of pain, and I don’t want to be that kind of person."
Then a moment, where things switched, flashed, from dark back to light; and Link paused, seeming to catch himself- looked at Sheik and laughed sunnily. It was unknowable whether or not the champagne sounds were happy or sad; or if there was pain or confusion. Link was just there, posture all low and slim, the sunlight like honey softly on his body, shirt sort of messed up, unbuttoned, casual. It all happened without the comfort of clarity, like time had erupted. Loneliness seared hollow across Sheik’s chest- just the pure feeling of being alone, full and poignant like the salt before tears, that long dark empty feeling of absence. And then high nervous fear, rising and billowing like color in the sea, because the only clear thought that came into his mind was that this loneliness could be ameliorated if he could just feel in Link the shock of contact, the star’s itch, the darkness and sugar: could just touch him...and that would make the loneliness longing, and that was terrifying to him.
Another day and no more sorrow, and Link wasn’t even aware of the explosions, the destruction, he caused with his honesty and smiles. But then, as stated before, everybody was wearing a mask, so how could he be aware? Today Sheik was off someplace else, something secret, so he killed time by going out to eat with Shad and Malon.
It was some hipster diner-type place. It had that synthetic pop vibe, but there were posters of musicians & the underground plastered all over the walls- a lot of the Indigo-go’s. Anyway they were sitting in a booth huddled against the window, Malon with a pretty smile on her face, Shad with his usual eyes of acceptance and asking.
"Oh, did you hear?" Malon asked, suddenly and brightly, and pointed a french fry at Link across the table. "Zelda’s coming back next week!"
"Oh, she is?" Link responded, tipping his head curiously; then smiled, picked up his soda. "That’s cool."
"Wanna meet her, right?" Malon teased, with a pressing wink.
"Fulfilling your boyhood dreams and everything?"
Link laughed a little in response. "It’ll be nice to meet her," he said, then paused on a half-thought. "Since she’s Sheik’s friend, she’ll probably be fun."
Malon laughed coolly. "Jeez, you’re dumb," she said, then leaned forward. "Haven’t you seen Zelda before? Most guys’d be wetting their pants."
"Huh? No, I haven’t seen her before. Is she pretty?"
Malon laughed again, indulgent and incendiary. "You’re a piece of work, Link, you know that?"
Link shrugged, innocent of the accusation; then looked out on the scenes outside the window, playing in electric time. "Why are they friends, anyway?" he asked, half-turning back to Shad and Malon, "Are they like similar or something?"
Shad paused; exchanged a glance with Malon, and then looked back at Link. "Are they similar?...I suppose not. They’re rather dissimilar, actually," he said, pushing up his glasses a bit.
"They don’t have anything in common, though?" Link asked, smiling absently at the scene outside- a man whose pants were being torn up by a tiny ratty dog, balloons carried by a huge woman who owned the street...
He was too spaced out to notice the quick flashing beat of a pause, but it struck him when Malon said with acid in her voice, "Yeah, they both have no heart."
Link’s eyes blinked confusedly back to her. Shad’s mouth turned in disapproval. "That’s not entirely true," he corrected, his voice not so aloof as his words would imply.
Malon raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah," she began like a lecturer, "Excuse me, Sheik has a black shriveled heart."
"What do you mean she has no heart?" Link asked, picking up a french fry off Malon’s plate.
"Hey, that’s mine! Thief!" she exclaimed; Link sent her a tomcat grin, and she laughed in return, but then set her eyes to some soft thought. "Well, I don’t know. Zelda’s just a very- cold person. She seems, like- immovable, almost. There’s something about her eyes...She’s just not very friendly, I guess is what I’m saying. She’s okay and everything, but you just get this feeling when she’s around."
"I would suppose that Zelda is naturally very guarded," Shad said, digging his fork into his food as some aggressive beat bopped down from the ceiling speakers.
"I asked her how she was feeling once," Malon rejoined, taking hold of her milkshake. "She told me she ‘felt in theory.’"
"Zelda is very intelligent," Shad replied, "Her thoughts are naturally quite abstract."
Malon paused, then broke into a starry laugh. "Oh, shut up, Shad," she said, rolling her teasing eyes over to him (he sat, innocent and accused by her knowing mouth), "You’ve got like, the biggest hard-on for her in history."
Link choked a little on his soda, then, laughing, high-fived Malon across the table while Shad just sat there, shaking his head. Link and Malon finished up their laughing fit, and Link leaned back into the booth with a vague smile. "Yeah, but, I don’t know, I don’t think Sheik’s like that," he said, stealing another french fry from Malon’s plate.
There was a pause as Shad’s and Malon’s minds rewound the conversation to the point about Sheik. "Oh," Malon said, "You mean that you don’t think he has a black shriveled heart and is incapable of feeling love for anybody but himself? And stop it with the french fries or I’ll impose a tax."
Link just shrugged sweetly. "I don’t know. He might come off that way," he started, leaning on the table and looking outside, "but I think it’s because he wants to be sincere. Like, he doesn’t want to just say things or be somebody for other people- because that would just be falling into a lie. I don’t think he means to hurt anybody." He paused. "I think it’s better that he’s sincere, anyway."
Shad looked at Link consideringly- as though his words confirmed something Shad had been thinking for a long time- and Malon paused and just waved it off. "Okay," she said. "That may be true, but I still think he’s a horrible person. Want a french fry, fairy boy?" she asked, tilting her plate with a grin on her face.
"I don’t have any money for your tax," Link answered, grinning right back.
"Just kiss me, that’s the tax," she replied with a wink; then doubled back on that thought, ran a hand through her hot hair. "You got a girl yet, by the way? You need a girl-"
And the conversation ran off in that way, slipped off cliffs, slicked like oil and receded out of memory. It was getting kinda late, the pink was crawling between clouds and bleeding into the blue outside, so Link began to shuffle out of the booth. "I gotta go meet Sheik and Raven," he said with a smile, getting up- throwing some money on the table. Actually, he’d gotten quite a bit of money from when he last worked with Raven, so he was set for now...
"Okay, don’t have too much fun now," Malon said, reaching up to hug him.
"Good seeing you," Shad said, with a smile.
Link turned windily to go, but pivoted right back around, a question in his eyes. "Oh, Shad," he began, "I wanted to ask you something about Sheikahs."
Shad blinked. "It’s not my area of expertise, but I may be able to help," he smiled, "What did you want to know?"
"Oh, just- is there something wrong in their-? I mean, what happened to the Sheikah? Do they have a bloody history or something?" Link asked.
A curious look passed Shad’s face. "Well," he began, "the Sheikah haven’t had too violent of a history. You’ll understand that every race and culture has had- wars, conflict, general wrongdoing...but nothing out of the usual for Hyrule. Why?"
"Oh, no reason. Thanks!" Link nodded with a smile, and turned off to leave, out of their and into some other impressions. Shad and Malon just looked at each other with a shrug, and went back to their meal.
Shad and Malon were nice. He liked Malon especially, she was fun and just generally a good person. He felt they had a lot of things in common. They had the same sense of humor and the same references. The thing that tied them together the most though was that they were two people who didn’t have money, didn’t come from money, travelling within circles wherein everybody had money. It did make a subtle difference, and they understood the same type of things. Malon came from the country like he did; four days a week she worked as a coatcheck girl in a dinner joint.
Pretty much the only thing they disagreed on was Sheik. Ah, well, different strokes for different folks. Or something. Link pondered how stupid that saying sounded as he rounded smokey corners, passed by coffee stands and separate scenes that seemed to complete some vague puzzle. Whatever it was, it was beyond his reach.
The sun was setting, or had set already- there was a clarity and a darkness that dusted over. Autumn had a supply of gold- you could see it round 7 PM. It washed over the streets in a rainy light, dripping off the trees. In disabling laughter Sheik and Link leaned on one another as they walked down the incendiary street; the place the group’d wanted to go to turned out to have burned down a couple days ago, so they headed to some stale lounge where everybody was self-conscious and the music was too loud. Raven got them kicked out, though, so here they were, on the sidewalk and walking down lanes of stars.
It was Sheik, Link, and Raven, as usual; this time, there was also the twins, and the writer...that was a surprise, since he usually didn’t hang around with them. The writer was suspiciously anonymous, and today he seemed to be quieter than usual, on the verge of an idea...
But nobody cared much. Raven was smoking a fat cigarette, rolling his eyes at Sheik and Link. "Fucking get a new joke, you retarts," he bit irritatedly, smoke streaming out of his mouth, "The beggar shit’s gettin’ old."
"Don’t get sensitive, Raven," Link grinned, glancing back at him.
"You can’t get a meal if you’re nursing a heavy heart," Sheik answered, gasping leopard dark, eyes bright and veiled; "It so happens I’ve some change, though- perhaps fortune’s smiling on you?"
"I don’t take money from fuckin’ masked terrorists," Raven snapped, "But thanks anyway."
"Rather be a terrorist," Sheik said, words teetering on a knife’s edge as he walked like wind out from under Link’s arm, "Explosions would be under my grasp: in bomb time, the sundial subjects- not the slow decay of beggar life. Regardless, what does it matter? Double-time or slow-motion, it’s all back to sound and earth."
Link smiled, pausing on that thought; Sheik was careful not to look at him- it was unpredictable, when the hot and cold would make pressure black over his eyes, when the simultaneous regret and warmth would flush back into his chest. It was better to keep distracted.
Raven replied something, the twins made some remark, quiet enveloped slow and warm as smoke. The rain gold faded gradually into vintage blue, and they came near the mouth of a playground. Sheik meandered in, as though it was normal for them to go to a playground, with Link towing close behind. Mothers cast them dirty eyes, ushered their children out past the gang of smoking cretins at the gates.
Link breezed in, stood next to Sheik, pondered the swings and the slides like they were opportunities; humming a recently popular radio song because he couldn’t remember the words. Sheik looked at him with quiet in his eyes, and Link looked back and smiled.
Sheik turned his eyes away while Link began to speak- feeling full that boulevard chord itching in his veins. "Nice night, huh? All the fireflies are gone already, though," Link observed casually, swinging his arms at his sides.
Sheik was distracted enough for a moment to let off a small laugh at Link’s incoherent mind; but a thought struck Raven, and he broke the conversation. "Oh yeah- hey you, Zelda’s comin’ back next week," he nodded toward Link casually.
Link looked back toward him. "Ah? Yeah, I know, Malon told me today."
"Yeah, and this one dint even bother to say anything," Raven said, raising an eyebrow and pointing to Sheik. "Hadda find that shit out on the news. You keepin’ secrets or what?"
Sheik turned back to Raven- looked at him with that sidelong glance, that mild look of the manic snake, something about him seeming to smile. "I may be," he answered, folding his arms, "What would you be willing to know, Raven?"
Raven’s eyes turned suspicious, surly. "Tch, nuthin’ from you, ya criminal."
Sheik laughed; Link’s eyes turned up thoughtfully. "What day is she coming back, anyway?"
"Hmm? That still has to be worked out," Sheik answered, turning back to Link. "Zelda’s importance runs vague lines," he added, with something sardonic and dark in his voice that Link couldn’t read.
"So? Ya lookin’ forward to meetin’ her, kid?" Raven asked, catching Link in a half-headlock.
"Owch! Raven, did you just grab my ass?" Link laughed. "Yeah, I guess. If she’s Sheik’s friend she must be cool."
"Hear that, Sheik? At least somebody likes you," Raven said, letting go of Link- and Raven said it casually, unaware of this burning idea that was trapped inside Sheik’s eyes.
"Yeah, I- oh crap!" Link suddenly exclaimed, bringing a hand tentatively to his mouth.
"What’s wrong?" Sheik asked, head tipping curiously.
"What time is it?"
"’Round seven," the twins said in unison, looking up from an ant they were studying.
"I gotta go," Link said hurriedly, eyes concerned, set immediately on his new destination- Link was like that, fully concentrated on one point when he needed to be. "I forgot I have to help clean the kitchen! See you guys. ’Bye Sheik," he said, touching Sheik’s arm lightly as he ran off toward the iron gates.
The group watched him as he turned right, down the street, presumably toward the bus stop or something. There was a spot of silence as the leaves whirled in a small breeze.
Raven’s eyes flattened. "I could’ve just called him a cab," he said, like his brain had deflated, "Shit, he’s stupid."
"He’s focused, I suppose," Sheik observed.
"...He’s probably gonna get hit by a fucking car on the way there," Raven replied.
"Link," Sheik began, with a tone of voice that Raven and the others had never heard before- made them listen intently, wonder what it meant- "Link is touched by luck. He’s a favored son- a seventh son, seems like Link carries light with him." There were parts left out; but that was something that even he hadn’t figured out yet, so he decided it was prudent to keep quiet about it.
Raven paused. "Yeah, he’s a good kid," he shrugged, getting out another cigarette. Then a quiet idea came into his eyes. "You know, we oughta do sumthin’ fer him."
"Yeah, we should," the twins agreed, nodding sagely.
"Like?" Sheik asked, posture seeming to sigh as he looked toward the flowers and the swings.
"...I dono," Raven shrugged, like that shouldn’t be up to him.
Sheik’s eyes glowed in a dark shade and he seemed to laugh imperceptibly. "I can see it now: Raven in a sequined gown, arriving at Link’s house with a basket of cupcakes, flowers adorning the path. Eagles and fanfare announcing his arrival. That would work, Raven. Your measurements?"
"Ha-ha, you slay me," Raven answered, obscured in a cloud of smoke; then he made a movement that was like a breath of relief, stretching like a cat, cigarette hanging limp out of his mouth. "You know what that fucker needs? He needs a girl." He paused, then grinned. "Hell, I need a girl. Another girl, that is."
The writer paused from obscurity, seemed to be part of the scenery again. "He’d probably have more fun if he had a girl," he chimed in- but there was something in his voice that was hidden, like he was constructing an idea.
There was a sudden nothingness in Sheik’s breathing- just an absence of any reaction, and he paused to ruminate on that. There was a subtle darkness brewing like a cloud over him, but nothing else...they continued their conversation: "Yeah, I mean, that chick Princess digs him," Raven said, "Like, really fuckin’ digs him-"
"Her?" Sheik suddenly replied, voice dark and full of acid- but with just a touch of casualness to cause a gelatinous unease to settle in the air. "She’s a little girl, what can she do for him? Better to pair him with a mannequin."
The others read the atmosphere- knew now that they were treading within a danger zone. Sheik’s posture was coiled and tensed, within some heat of feeling that clouded his perception momentarily; then something in him flushed, and the tenseness wore out, died down. Seeing that, Raven started to talk again- although the words were rounded, like stepping around a sleeping carnivore. "I mean, she’s cute- got a cute face, nice ass. She ain’t that smart, that’s always a fuckin’ plus," he shrugged. "She digs ’im is all, she’ll go along with it."
"A hero needs a girl!" one of the brothers shouted to the birds, like a rowdy reminder.
Raven looked toward Sheik- the de facto leader of the gang, after all, and if Sheik didn’t give consent everyone knew it wouldn’t go down smoothly. Nobody asked why he wouldn’t go with the plan- it was something unsaid that Sheik didn’t like questions to be asked.
Again the feeling of nothing. Sheik’s streaming mind didn’t pause to think on why feelings came in staccato cliffs, rising and falling with the quickness of flames. He felt now as though he needed to put his guard back up, to become distant once again. "It’s fine; do what you like," he replied, mildly. They went off to planning as Sheik watched for stars to pass by his brain. The only one who found the tone in his voice odd, actually, was the writer.
Continue to Part 2...
author's note: *"I is another" - "Je est une autre" i think it is, that's rimbaud.