zelda fanfic || what after love 1.4 (2/2);
title: What After Love
pairing: Sheik X Link X Zelda triangle; Sheik X Link and Zelda X Link
rating: PG-13
genre: romance / AU
chapter summary: Sheik has sort of a mental breakdown as he realizes, through jealousy and joy, that his feelings for Link may be stronger than he thinks.
author's note: continued from part I of 1.4. btw Princess is not going to be a main character, i just wanted to clear that up.
So it was decided that Sheik, Raven, the twins, Princess, and Link would go out to dinner- it was less conspicuous that way (the writer said he had something else to do) (Shad would come as well because he had a car- something Raven failed to mention while extending the invitation). It was a boppin’ night, it was full of radio mist and musical sugar that seeped down saccharine from the stars. Something in the city seemed to glow, and while Link was getting dressed he was feeling full the itch for some alley adventure.
The blinded horse, hot wax & a deal with the devil: red coals to touch, dipping your feet in the swarming world of wrong...well, Link didn’t have much time for that, and instead headed out, saying goodbye to everybody in the common rooms as he went...gave a small salute to some pretty girls on the street, soldier of love, then hopped a bus going out to the heart of the city.
The cool swept down like autumn magic around him, shapes along the lines of his body, and he got off on the boulevard. Princess tar and moving cars: there was the buzz of activity colored like lightning along the street. Where were they going to meet again?...
"Basically, I felt like I was fucking snow," some girl passing by was telling her friend, "He’s an albino, so what do you expect? But there’s- something about him I just love-"
Suddenly he remembered the street number; it was funny, what could spark the keys of memory. Anyway he followed the numbers as they dwindled and from a distance could see Sheik: leaning as one vagrant in a faceless crowd, and something in the lonely song of his posture made a vague thought in Link’s mind, for whatever weird reason. Sheik’s eyes regarded him with a distant thought.
"Hey!" Link smiled. "What’s up? Where is everybody?"
"They’ve gone already; receded back to roots," Sheik answered, thoughtfully. "You’re not late, though."
"Okay," he answered. Then his eyes, bright as smiles, crooked curiously. "What are you doing alone, though?"
Sheik seemed to be sucking down knives; seemed to hold something back within his mouth. "I was waiting on a promise, but it’s a shot in the dark- now that my hand’s already in," he explained, "There’s nothing but a bomb."
"That doesn’t sound good," Link replied, mouth turned in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, putting a hand solidly on Sheik’s shoulder.
"I’m fine; I’m guessing you’re hungry, though," Sheik answered. The light in his eyes was vague and far away, it was glittering in some river of sand that was falling quickly out of grasp. But he seemed to not want to talk about it, so Link complied and let it go with a smile.
"Yep! What are we eating anyway? Oh, am I dressed okay?" Link asked, as they started to walk, stepping back a little against the shopguard traffic so Sheik could see him fully. "I’m just wondering if it’ll be a fancy place, and you know, if people are gonna look at me and start asking me for their checks and stuff."
"...You’re fine," Sheik answered, with a shadowed glance; then revised that thought quick as panic. "You’re too young to stoop to manners, as it is."
"Huh? What’s that mean?" Link asked, tipping his head a bit.
Sheik paused; there a softness in his movements as he explained. "There are a few conditions which make everything excusable; one is youth. Another is money. Youth fades; money is a lockbox, armor. The world’s a wicked place; but, don’t be disappointed- this was written in time, after all. Ah, we’re here."
It was a nondescript enough place, it didn’t seem to have any voice: quiet between the bricks and the newspaper stands. Strands of ink in the night. The blustered inside, where the lights were low and the darkness was stifling over pools of lily candle light, floating by on every table...against propaganda posters sat the group, at the separate tables- Raven, Shad, and the twins at one booth, then Princess sitting alone at a little table to their right.
There seemed to be something subtle in the atmosphere that made Link smile curiously, wondering what was up. The only one who looked like there wasn’t something behind his mind was Raven; he raised an eyebrow when Link and Sheik walked in. "Oh, here he is," he said, with an arch of suspicion rising catlike in his voice, "You gotta have like, ESP or some shit, Sheik. What’s with showin’ up like, thirty fuckin’ years late, kid?"
"Oh- I just needed to help clean the kitchen," Link laughed. The lights in here were low, lit that way that dimmed perception- Sheik moved slim into a seat across from Raven, and Link began to follow, shuffle in-
But Raven shook his head. "Hey, what the Hell? Go sit with Princess, you cretin," he said, gesturing over to Princess sitting nearby at a small, round table.
"No room here," the twins nodded.
"Ain’t you a gentleman? Mother fucking Teresa and shit?" Raven added.
Link tipped his head curiously. "Oh, sorry," he said, and went dutifully over to Princess in a puppy walk. Sheik’s mind flashed and paused- he couldn’t explain this twisted spark that shot dark into his arms when Link walked away...
"Sorry, I didn’t forget you! I didn’t know you were alone!" Link said brightly, slipping into the seat across from Princess. She smiled- Earl pearl gray, the morning flushing into her eyes as she saw Link’s boyish movements, his sweet smile...
"It’s fine," she laughed, "I knew you wouldn’t forget me."
A scene from different points of view- different impressions in the darkness that hovered between lit spaces. Raven made some crude comment about a girl outside, and they decided what to order- a warm smile, a reaching hand, a dark feeling of hate glimmering in an anonymous heart: that was how it started out, so it was obvious to anybody who paid attention that it wouldn’t end well.
There was spastic laughter and alcohol rising into the blood- halfway through, half the party was half drunk, and there was a wholly nice feeling to the air. Link had no idea, of course, that they were trying to set him up with Princess. Every time he turned around to join in on their conversation, he’d get shunted out rudely, evicted from the group like some social pariah. He was confused, but he liked Princess, so it was okay.
Sheik was telling some story at the table- his speech a silencer, magnetic and cryptic. "It was a street gun and a desert thief- luckily, I made it out alive," he was saying, the last syllable a feline sigh, "-escaped into the alley night, but there was a clown. I, of course, did my civic duty and kicked him in the crotch. Happiness is a socialist thing, after all."
There was a rising of laughter at the table (slim thirty-somethings nearby shot them a dirty look); Link choked on his drink a little. "I met a clown once, actually," he piped up from his seat- "I think he pinched my cheeks or something."
Sheik turned to Link, looked at him over his shoulder. "Didn’t he see the no solicitation sign?"
"I don’t think so- I was scarred for life, three times over," Link grinned.
"Hey, what the Hell? Pay some goddamn attention to the girl," Raven snapped, gesturing over to Princess.
"Yeah, this is a no-Link zone!" one of the twins sputtered out, words half-slurred.
Link laughed and turned back to Princess. "Sorry, sorry," he said, taking a sip of his drink, "So, uhm...what’s up?" he asked, hesitantly, for lack of something better to say.
She paused, then laughed. "‘What’s up?’" she repeated, and he laughed along with her. "Jeez, Link," she added.
"I know- I just dono what to say. Hmm, these are really good- hey, lemme try your drink!" Link exclaimed, suddenly keen on the idea- she was drinking something interesting- electric pink-colored and with sugar on the rim. He reached his hand out, and she laughed as she gave the cup to him. He took a thoughtful sip. "Huh, that’s good- it’s sweet though." He took his cup and Princess watched his eyes (and she saw that same rainy day in them that Sheik had seen, and her heart was melted gold for a moment); he reached it out to her. "Want some?"
Her eyes widened a little, and she smiled and nodded. Neither noticed the vigilant hush that fell over Sheik’s table...Link tipped it a little and she took a sip. "Careful," she said, as some spilled on the table. "It’s- uh, it’s good- thank you," she said with a happy laugh like falling stars. Link smiled and said something, took a quick gulp from the glass before setting it back on the table.
Raven was watching with slow, alligator eyes. "Christfuck, he’s a goddamn natural," he said, with a surly line in his mouth- his eyes flashed to the rest of the table. "Why the Hell doesn’t he get more ass? Prolly ’cause he’s hangin’ ’round you, ya goddamn delinquent."
Sheik’s mind blanked- one dim light of thought flickering low and cold. "Hmm, maybe," was all he said, somewhat distractedly, turning his eyes away from Princess and Link quickly. This feeling was crushing- more like swallowing, a supermassive black hole, something strong and cruel...
"That’s really good, actually," Link mused to himself, blissfully unaware as he reached over for Princess’ drink.
She smiled. "Oh, just be careful though- I’ve been sick the last few days, I don’t know if I could still have it," she warned, a tone of warmth showering the chords of her voice-
"Hm, well that’s very considerate of you, isn’t it?" Sheik said mildly from his place.
There was a pause; Link looked up to Sheik, knowing immediately from the tone that something was wrong- knew from the withdrawn venom, knew from the way the atmosphere suddenly changed- the way he said it, so casual and dull. Princess bit her lip hesitantly, that tone was like a knife; the rest of the group just fell into quiet. Sheik didn’t look back to Link and Princess, just seemed to shake it off, and he resumed the conversation just as easily.
But he shook on the inside, felt to erase his mind for a moment- he didn’t understand, but he had...just felt like he couldn’t control himself, it was coursing in his bones like electric shock. He sat dissatisfied as Shad said something, warily easing back into a normal mood. He didn’t know what hopes for Link Princess had- didn’t know what Link even thought of her- but any which way it made him uneasy, put a bad black taste in his throat. And why did he even feel that way?...
Link knew that whenever Sheik had that tone he meant it. He held a distant worry, wondering if he’d done something wrong and hadn’t noticed it...maybe he’d taken a bit too much, maybe he’d acted too familiar? He smiled it off though, so that Princess wouldn’t feel anxious. "What did you have, anyway?" he asked.
She paused- juxtaposed to that subtle panther poison, Link’s warm mouth, his cosmic eyes, were a place to go to- were shelter from the storm. "Oh, probably just a cold," she answered. "I got it from one of the girls in the office, I bet- they go around just sneezing all over their hands, touching everything."
"An office?" Link asked, then grinned. "Are you a businessman?"
She laughed and thwacked him playfully on the hand. "No, Link, I’m not a businessman. I’m a secretary for the businessman." She paused, eyes flickered upwards- exhaled a flushed breath of air like the alcohol was choking pink around her lungs. "He’s a jerk, but it’s fine."
"Hm. I guess things are funny like that- everything looks different from a certain standpoint- I mean it seems like bosses are always jerks in one way or another," Link pondered.
Princess smiled. "Yeah, it does always look different- like I probably just look like some dumb floozy to him- God, I know I do- and he’s just an ass to me...do you work, Link?"
Link paused and some rainy thought popped into his mind. "Nope," he said, shaking his head and thinking of Sheik.
She laughed. "Oh, you’re a slacker, then?"
He smiled. "I guess so," he replied.
"Well, working’s not always the best thing to do at the moment- I mean like, I guess sometimes it’s just not a good time, you have to take off," she said, but her words suddenly seemed distant.
"Oh, yeah- hey, you! Why the Hell didn’t you come out with me and Jovani the other day?" Raven called from the other table, making an exasperated gesture, "We raised fucking Hell- they ain’t gonna want us back in that place for a long time- you fuckin’ missed out!"
"Oh, really?...When was that? Thursday?" Link asked, looking over.
"Nah, Wednesday."
"Oh. I was at Sheik’s house," Link answered, brushing some hair out of his eyes, taking a sip of his drink.
Raven’s expression balked- some confusion passed his face in dark and gold, and his eyes snapped. "Eh?" he answered, raising an eyebrow, then looking at Sheik. Sheik made no response- only the dark bloody claret of his eyes moved small and snakelike to Raven. Raven paused; Link lifted his eyes, wondering what was up. "...You were at Sheik’s house?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Link answered- had he said something wrong? The atmosphere hadn’t stilled but it sure as Hell was moving slow- there seemed to be an exchange of glances, a communal shift in posture...
"Well, lucky fuckin’ you," Raven said with a bite in his tongue, with a shrug in his shoulders- taking his drink with a rough hand, like it was some arbitrary set of gambling cards. "Never thought I’d see the fuckin’ day, Sheik."
"That’s right," Sheik replied- without enough of a pause to make it natural- something in his manner laughing sinfully, looking down from some dark rainy cliff- "It’s fit to understand, I don’t just let anybody close to me."
Those words were directed at somebody- an arrow that pierced with direction through metaphysical dark, but the question was who was it directed at? The answer was up in the air- the blame was up for grabs. Princess felt a hot caution, like it was directed at her; and Link’s heart fell into rainy day gray, feeling that Sheik was angry with him for some reason.
There was an odd waiting hush, a waiting for somebody to pick up the night again. Sheik let out a sound that sounded like a small seismic laugh but seemed more like a viper’s hiss, and said, "Well? You were talking of something- go on, then, no need for interruption."
Words the dark flesh of pomegranate, coming full circle like night...Everybody was a little off-balance now, but resumed some remnants of thought leftover. What was worse was that Sheik’s air was now pointedly casual- markedly cool, like he was just ready, at the front lines with a blade in his blood, off his tongue.
Link fidgeted in his seat- felt to get out, but also wondered with a quiet heart what was wrong. Had he done something...? He’d been within the radius of Sheik’s hate- felt that itching heat- but it was different when it was directed at him. It felt like needles; it felt like being behind a closed door.
He looked up to Princess- her eyes were wary and moving slow, and Link could tell she didn’t know if she should go- didn’t know how to pick up the conversation again. He worked up a smile and gave her a small tap on the wrist. Her eyes turned up surprised. "So, uh- you were saying about your jerk boss?" he asked.
Her hand was petal soft; she lifted it slowly, breaking contact seamlessly, touch of water. "Oh, nothing," she answered, leaning her hand in her palm, "I just never know where I am with him-"
And at his place at the table, Sheik was slowly burning inside some golden cage- heart suffering, mind well beyond a conceivable road. Something inside him was trembling, but he was trying,...he was trying to salvage some sense, trying to keep this dark feeling at bay. But it was overcoming him slowly, and between cracks of petulant light, he didn’t feel like he could contain it any longer.
Everything seemed to recede to empty space, to quiet air; some people were just coming out, some were folding dreams between their hands and heading home- a silent reality that seemed to be too much. Raven was untouchable even to this pervading silence, but had gone after a cute girl he saw at the bar ("Holy shit," he’d declared, shuffling out of the booth). The twins, always ready for a laugh at Raven’s expense, followed quickly after.
Shad and Sheik continued a conversation that slanted off of sunset, that seemed to be a game of perception. But Sheik wasn’t the losing kind- he could run circles ’round Shad if he wanted to, so Shad just kept a pleasant vocabulary. It seemed to all be fine but Shad recognized something choking in Sheik’s movements.
Princess and Link were having fun at their table- a drunken kind of fun, rosy in laughing and time forgotten. A freelance magician came around and passed a flier to them with the face of a reaper. They tried to make something resembling a house of cards by tearing it into pieces, but it fell down with every anxious laugh- every flash of Princess’ eyes making his hands falter. Link sensed something in the way she looked at him, but he didn’t think too much about it.
"Yes, but," Sheik was saying, words soft and amused, "there is war in the mind, in the heart. War happens everyday; by every number on the clock something is destroyed. Between sex and money- the blood of the empire- it’s a natural thing for war to happen; there’s no avoiding it, unless you’d like to tranquilize the hearts of the masses."
Shad was smiling as well- wills seemed to be pushing against each other, passing abrasive. "I suppose that nature is inherently warlike," he agreed, "However, I believe that through the faculties of reason and compassion, mankind may be able to overcome the instinct of conflict." Link caught their words by a thread of silence; pondered the fact that Shad seemed to be the only person who Sheik’s words were ineffective against.
Sheik laughed. "Reason and logic are irrelevant dogs- slip away like air when you need them the most." He seemed to reason on that point, leaned strangely into the dark. "You can have your peace, then; I’ve got dues to pay to spirits and masks, and this battlefield is where I earn my wages."
"You’re far too superstitious," Shad smiled.
"Maybe you’re just blind," Sheik responded, never one to miss a beat, "-None of you academics believe in reality, besides."
"Perhaps not; but if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the restroom," Shad said, getting up with a polite nod, and moving imperceptibly past their table, past some lost people.
There didn’t seem to be any shift in the air. Sudden stillness, sudden quiet, yeah- but none of the tense electricity that one would presume would be there if it was just Princess, Link, and Sheik together. The only one who felt anything different was Sheik- a sudden tensing, the completion of some dark wave’s circumnavigation of his brain. He let off a breath and turned his eyes past the colors in his mind and toward the scene outside the window...
His mind was dulled; animal in that there was now only sensation, only instinct. He felt somebody come closer to him and seemed to look up out of a daze when Link’s arm passed over his shoulder- reaching to get something on the table...
"Oh, sorry," Link said, the words faltering- Sheik looked up to him; his eyes were suddenly soft and there was a pause on his mouth- he laughed, "These just looked good but we didn’t order them at my table so I wanned to try them."
Link popped one of the leftover appetizers into his mouth, giving it life from the condemnation of the abandoned plate; the lights were low, so that there were only hints of the light that made his face, but Sheik thought that there was no better light to see him in right now. His mind flushed, lit in wheels of color, became engulfed in shadow like he was on a drunk: the sudden thought that Link was something permanent and sweet as death, and high fear rising into his throat at the thought...some sudden intense brightness at having him near, some dark criminal thought- something sick...
Link tensed under Sheik’s eyes. He figured in all probability he was still mad at him- was so worried that he’d done something wrong that he directed his gaze elsewhere and wondered nervously what to say. "Yeah, it’s good," he coughed nervously, smiling a little bit, balance lilting..."Oh, so- uhm-"
"You should be getting back to Princess, hm?" Sheik suddenly said, as though feeling had pushed through his mouth- words sharp and bitter; something was telling him it shouldn’t be that way, but it was overwhelming him...
Link paused; Princess looked over from the table, sitting lonely, petite legs crossed- thought maybe to get in a good impression with Sheik, and said with a smile, "Oh, no, I’m fine! You two keep talking."
"Oh, so you wouldn’t be lonely then- you wouldn’t worry about him forgetting you?" Sheik said, laughing dark, eyes cutting over to her. He fixed her with a look- quiet and carnivorous, full of something corrosive- and she flinched. Link turned back to Sheik in the throws of surprise, crawling to his brain with electroshock and ice. Sheik sat coiled, emotions throwing off him like magnetic waves- the heat of his feeling was physical, tangible, changed the patterns of the air immediately.
"Oh- no- I was just- I mean, no," she started to stutter, forgetting her mouth and letting her confusion run- but Sheik was not one for pity and he wasn’t one for wasting time, and a flash of irritation sparked inside his dark eyes.
"Ah, ‘no’, is it? Good, then, take a moment to breathe- relax without the heat of infatuation," he snapped- a voice that destroyed, that razed cities- that burned- but also something small and petty in his words that was foreign to Link.
"Sheik-" he said, as though to ask him what was wrong.
"Apologies aren’t exactly my way," Sheik snapped, without waiting for response, thinking it was just another of those, people who tried to beat him into some semblance of similarity...but then he paused and realized that it was Link- Link, eyes for asking, eyes that embraced as free and warm as tears would- Link with a fire in his movements. Sheik’s eyes were suddenly shadowed and he looked away quickly. "Y-you’d best leave me be, for now," he said, uneasily- his fingers twitched just a little bit, hand lying listless on the table.
Princess was flushed red- flustered, embarrassed- looked like she was about to crack from vexation at the table. Link didn’t know what to do and so he listened to Sheik- followed Sheik’s directions, headed over to their table...Princess got up and excused herself, not knowing what else to do, and Link’s mind was falling down and blinded- his heart tightened and he felt rainy and gray. He followed Princess as she made her way to the door; he came to a realization- he’d remember it as first time he’d heard Sheik stutter, and that meant something because he had such unfailing confidence in Sheik’s words. Sheik would just remember it as a night of Hell- a night of feelings that blind-sided him without regard to clarity; that erupted in darkness and light, that spelled "longing" like flowers and flame, like sweetness just out of reach. Dying of thirst surrounded by water- slave to some hateful feeling that remained mockingly anonymous.
Nobody else recognized anything wrong, though, when they came back to the table. The twins idly wondered where Link was; Raven situated himself all criminal posture and low swears as he explained the situation with that chick at the bar; and Shad just sat down smiling, continuing the conversation with a blind eye.
And then everything just ebbed again, the tide weakened and fell to just a memory- became only a dim wariness to Sheik and Link. The night wrapped up goldwire around itself; Sheik and Raven got the check and they all shuffled out. Princess was happy again; Link, in a rare moment of cleverness, managed to convince her that she was just being overly emotional and not remembering things clearly because she was tipsy. Which she was, so he helped her to sober up by frantically ordering a seltzer, and that was that. She was laughing in no time, downing her drinks and becoming again the flower of the night, the glamour Madonna and the saint of sunshine.
Link sorta felt like a sucky person for doing it, but he hadn’t known what else to do, had still been confused by the sudden hatred in Sheik’s voice, the sudden pinpointing anger. He sighed it off and they all walked out to Shad’s car.
The night was cool; the boulevards were wide, seemed to be full of fluorescent moonlight and the empty stories of love and murder. There seemed to be something untold in the anonymous doors, the muddled neon language. Everything seemed to be flowering anyway and the car pulled slowly forward, picked up speed.
"’Ey, what the Hell is this fuckbrain doing? Come the fuck on- what the fuck’s with the snails on the road?" Raven was saying impatiently at the front looking with a hot irritation at the cars ahead. An older man in a business suit (a heart attack waiting to wake up) was holding up traffic at a green light, and they were stuck at the crossroad.
"Snails are street-legal," Sheik said, throwing commentary, voice amused from the back seat. Link couldn’t help but smile but was careful not to laugh.
"Looks like it- ’ey, what’s this shit? You drive like a fucking old lady, Shad," Raven balked, looking appalled at Shad behind the wheel. "You tryin’a get a look at the goddamn turtles?"
Shad laughed and shook his head. "There’s no harm in being safe," he said like it was a reminder.
Raven rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah- close your legs, I can see your vagina from here," he snapped.
-But even in Raven’s speech you could feel the sleepy air that had taken over the car. Things seemed to still. A short midnight silence fell like static electricity, like radio sounds, over the car.
"Anyone want a cigarette?" Raven asked from the front seat, taking out a box of cigarettes with a slim gesture.
Sheik’s mind sparked a little bit, surfaced from memories and illusions; he felt like smoking...but not now, later. He couldn’t, in front of...
"Oh, me, please!" Princess called from the back, raising her hand a little bit.
"Yeah- here ya go, honey," Raven replied, stretching back to hand the cigarette to one of the brothers, who dutifully passed it on to Princess. Sheik and the twins were sitting in the back seats; Princess and Link were relegated to makeshift chairs in the hatchback trunk.
Smoke drifted, predator lazy, cold and slow, up from the front seat. Princess took the cigarette with a delicate "thank you," and placed it between her lips. Sheik felt a spark of hatred fill his eyes, and he turned to look out the window- trying to get her out of his peripherals...
The smoke wrapped around her; her skin shone pure and sugary in the street light and Link smiled. She looked back at him; her eyes laughed. "Did you have fun tonight?" she asked, breaking a tense, saccharine silence.
"Huh?- yeah," Link nodded, a kid’s grin coming over his face.
She laughed. "That’s good. I did, too."
He gave a gesture of confidence- he turned to look out the window, and Princess took a moment to digest the rainy, low way he moved. He seemed melancholy, but she was too buzzed to see that clearly. "Oh- hey, look outside," he said, leaning toward the window to get a better view. The street had its own stars; the air seemed silent and cold, seemed to still- had the feeling of a museum. "The lights outside are nice- it’s like- nature’s good, but I think manmade things are too. It’s just pretty, I guess."
She bit her lip in the throws of affection- he was such a little kid...she took a drag and looked at him- suddenly bold. "Yeah? What about me?" she asked.
Sheik noted that his breathing seemed suddenly empty- something in his blood turned cold at that Link might look at her, might actually go through with that. That same boulevard melody played, rattled, in his bones, but now it just seemed to weigh on him like a stone- it was without the sweetness and the melancholy it had before, was now just a gilded prison. He wondered about his heart-
But Link just turned to look at her- not realizing her intentions, thinking it a simple arbitrary question. "You?..." he asked, and looked at her consideringly. She blushed slightly at his eyes. "...Yeah. You have this certain- the light is good on you. You look like a flower, a little bit. But more like- have you ever seen those little cards that have prayers and pictures of martyrs and flowers on them? You look like that, to me. Like a ghost, sort of."
Her mind turned frenzied- lifted to a high and she chewed down more thoughtfully on her lip, wondering what to say. Something about him was just so nice..."Oh, uhm,- thank you," she managed to stammer.
"You’re welcome!" Link piped happily.
She paused; then she laughed like autumn wind. Link paused, wondering what was funny, but he laughed too, anyway. The words just fell into Sheik’s mind, down some endless abyss, cruelly starry and filled with untouchable brightness.
Princess smiled and sighed, pressed her head against the window with her cigarette in her hand, close by; the white outside lights- the cool amalgam of shadow and electricity that made pools in the night, travelling shadows- colored her face with lily magic. Sheik felt an urge to see her...he looked at her askance, subtle. In that moment he felt an irritation flare in his chest...that she could smoke and smile and look pretty- that, as he realized, Link could see it. More blues, more feelings colliding; the phrase "all in vain" crossed his mind, and he didn’t have the courage to admit why.
Princess was dropped off at her small apartment; her roommate buzzed her in and she gave a small wave toward the car. The twins lived not too far away, so they were next...and then was Link: the came upon the place, and Link thanked everybody, said goodnight...
"Yeah, yeah, get outta the fuckin’ car," Raven answered, pushing him a little bit.
"Eww, Raven germs," Link laughed, pulling open the door from the back. The cool air flushed inside- a breeze blew up from the tar and the flowers. He threw himself over the back seat with a clumsy puppy movement, falling on his back. "I have Ravenitis now," he added, sticking his tongue out.
"Ha-ha- anymore time in this car with you I swear I’d be infected with your fucking faggotry," Raven replied. Link stepped out; Raven leaned out the window a little bit, watching Link as he closed the door. "’Ey," he began, smoke pouring out of his mouth, "You wanna work tomorrow?"
Link looked back at him, mouth pausing. "Okay, sure," he smiled.
"Good. Watch the fuckin’ phone then."
"Okay! Night- everyone!" Link replied, and turned coolly, with seamless favela ease, toward the house. He’d added "everyone" as a nervous afterthought...he didn’t want to say goodbye to Sheik directly, but he didn’t want to not say goodbye to him...
He began to walk toward the door. The azaleas breathed in the midnight breeze; life seemed to have stilled, halted to this city mist. But it wasn’t right to leave it like that, he suddenly thought- it wouldn’t be right to just give some half-assed, "Goodbye, everyone" like it was insurance, like it was just a safe way out. He couldn’t bear with taking the easy way out. Couldn’t even bear with the uncertainty of Sheik’s feelings- the thought he might be angry at him...
So he pivoted around, heading back toward the car. Sheik had his eyes closed inside- opened them slow when Link tapped on the window, opened them like it was a dream he’d already foreseen. Raven and Shad turned around to face Sheik; Shad rolled the window down and Sheik turned his eyes up, careful not to look too directly at Link.
But there was no smile this time- but his eyes were already caught in that cool soda light, but his hair was already a torrid storm. "Hey- can I uhm- talk to you for a second?"
Sheik’s mind paused dreadfully, but something in him obeyed. He pulled the door open and got out- wondering if he had wanted this to happen or if he hadn’t wanted this to happen. At any rate this confusion was just too much...
He stepped out. His movements were cautious, catlike- he seemed to recede into the dark, only the quiet in his eyes was apparent to Link. Link stood against the fall air and put his hands behind his back, rocked on his heels. "I, uhm," he said, moving slightly; Sheik moved closer as if to answer the bell’s toll. "I just wanted to say that I’m sorry- if you’re mad at me..." Link paused, then laughed soberly. "I mean, I must sound like a huge douche- ‘I’m sorry for I don’t know what’- hah, I mean, but I don’t mean it like that."
His eyes wandered along the stretches of street that surrounded them like a song. "I didn’t mean to do anything jerky, is all. I don’t think it’s right to not apologize."
Sheik leaned, contrapose- gained some of the graffiti light, some of the vital carnival red, that Link recognized from before. "You didn’t do anything wrong," he finally said. Warmth crept into his voice- glance like cinnamon, like sugar; his words had the slow ringing of alcohol. "As I've said- a good mood depends upon the stars; tonight it was one light out of time, it was two beats out of place...don’t worry yourself."
Link wasn’t sure what to think of that- it seemed true in one sense, but it seemed veiled, masked, in another sense. The words seemed to feel right, but there wasn’t any logic to them...He looked back at Sheik and saw nothing but an offer- nothing out of order-, so he paused, nodded. "Okay, then. Cool.- Hey, let’s go out tomorrow!"
Sheik laughed. "Of course- just mind the stories of the dark," he replied, with faultless rhythm.
Link agreed with a flash of the eyes- stepped forward to hug Sheik. What was to him just casual was a heart attack to Sheik; Sheik felt the warmth of Link’s neck, the prison of his arms- felt like it would be right if it was just a little tighter, if it meant more, if in this he could read the strength and the sadness. But Link just released him and smiled, waved; he turned around and headed past the azaleas to the door.
Sheik paused on air. His balance tilted strangely; his eyes were like a cat’s as he watched Link move like music, move breathless and sunny. Pink morning sun was creeping into the rushing blue, light from the desert; it would rain tomorrow, probably. Sheik might not have had to courage to admit this hollow beating in his chest; but even so, a dark voice told him that it wasn’t his choice at all. That he was really fucked now.
And maybe he was; he counted by the signs that seemed to appear, by the luckless wind that seemed to rise up and cast him into some cruel spell. He asked a woman about the lines of his palm while she drew henna up his fingers- she only told him that she’d seen this day would come, and to watch out for his left side. And it choked him, made his blood constrict, that he knew exactly what she meant by "this day."
He felt alone; the lights were spinning up on the ceiling overhead, spilling primary colors down the floor. He moved past the crowd in the heat of music; spotted Raven by the bar. "Oh, hey," Raven said casually, tipping his glass a little bit as a greeting.
"Is Link here?" Sheik asked- posture of a refugee, onto the next road.
"No- that faggot said he hadda help with chores or sumthin’ like that," Raven scoffed, finishing off his glass with a gator’s bite. "He took the money and fuckin’ ran outta there. Dint even say goodbye or nuthin’. Some fuckin’ manners."
Sheik nodded- or at least seemed to nod, but his eyes were distant and full of a light that seemed nervous, that seemed to care...he suddenly wanted a cigarette, so he stumbled back outside.
These people were all strangers- they were all just murders waiting to happen, they were all bloodless, like lizards or like masks. Sheik slipped past them, slim and quiet, and moved outside- was he stumbling? He suddenly felt clumsy, he suddenly felt like he was blinded by a wave of colors that pulled a veil over his consciousness...A poignant feeling struck strong into his heart- like scent flowering on cold night air...
He looked at his palms, he saw nothing but empty space; saw nothing but his own face. Link wasn’t here- was that good or was that bad? Pink descended down like honey lights- starry pink, cosmic and bold, that fell over his eyes, fell over his heart...some line of melody recalled the low way Link moved; his worried heart and his homeless eyes- his champagne laugh...
Link could cut between light and dark, resided in twilight- Sheik knew now what it was that Link carried on his shoulders. Link existed as the sole arbitrator between right and wrong- he walked the line and he didn’t complain, but oh he was a lonely angel, he was a child of the street...his mouth was full of water and sweetness. Mind full of radiance, always stuck in in-betweens...
Sheik stood like he was at the mouth of some decision. Like there was only black space around him. How had this happened?- it was a horror and a thrill to spin down this lonely tunnel- to feel the light of Link beside him or miles away, to feel a sugar longing that lived solely in the night.
author's note: and in the next chapter...ZELDA COMES HOME!
Thanks for reading! :D
pairing: Sheik X Link X Zelda triangle; Sheik X Link and Zelda X Link
rating: PG-13
genre: romance / AU
chapter summary: Sheik has sort of a mental breakdown as he realizes, through jealousy and joy, that his feelings for Link may be stronger than he thinks.
author's note: continued from part I of 1.4. btw Princess is not going to be a main character, i just wanted to clear that up.
So it was decided that Sheik, Raven, the twins, Princess, and Link would go out to dinner- it was less conspicuous that way (the writer said he had something else to do) (Shad would come as well because he had a car- something Raven failed to mention while extending the invitation). It was a boppin’ night, it was full of radio mist and musical sugar that seeped down saccharine from the stars. Something in the city seemed to glow, and while Link was getting dressed he was feeling full the itch for some alley adventure.
The blinded horse, hot wax & a deal with the devil: red coals to touch, dipping your feet in the swarming world of wrong...well, Link didn’t have much time for that, and instead headed out, saying goodbye to everybody in the common rooms as he went...gave a small salute to some pretty girls on the street, soldier of love, then hopped a bus going out to the heart of the city.
The cool swept down like autumn magic around him, shapes along the lines of his body, and he got off on the boulevard. Princess tar and moving cars: there was the buzz of activity colored like lightning along the street. Where were they going to meet again?...
"Basically, I felt like I was fucking snow," some girl passing by was telling her friend, "He’s an albino, so what do you expect? But there’s- something about him I just love-"
Suddenly he remembered the street number; it was funny, what could spark the keys of memory. Anyway he followed the numbers as they dwindled and from a distance could see Sheik: leaning as one vagrant in a faceless crowd, and something in the lonely song of his posture made a vague thought in Link’s mind, for whatever weird reason. Sheik’s eyes regarded him with a distant thought.
"Hey!" Link smiled. "What’s up? Where is everybody?"
"They’ve gone already; receded back to roots," Sheik answered, thoughtfully. "You’re not late, though."
"Okay," he answered. Then his eyes, bright as smiles, crooked curiously. "What are you doing alone, though?"
Sheik seemed to be sucking down knives; seemed to hold something back within his mouth. "I was waiting on a promise, but it’s a shot in the dark- now that my hand’s already in," he explained, "There’s nothing but a bomb."
"That doesn’t sound good," Link replied, mouth turned in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, putting a hand solidly on Sheik’s shoulder.
"I’m fine; I’m guessing you’re hungry, though," Sheik answered. The light in his eyes was vague and far away, it was glittering in some river of sand that was falling quickly out of grasp. But he seemed to not want to talk about it, so Link complied and let it go with a smile.
"Yep! What are we eating anyway? Oh, am I dressed okay?" Link asked, as they started to walk, stepping back a little against the shopguard traffic so Sheik could see him fully. "I’m just wondering if it’ll be a fancy place, and you know, if people are gonna look at me and start asking me for their checks and stuff."
"...You’re fine," Sheik answered, with a shadowed glance; then revised that thought quick as panic. "You’re too young to stoop to manners, as it is."
"Huh? What’s that mean?" Link asked, tipping his head a bit.
Sheik paused; there a softness in his movements as he explained. "There are a few conditions which make everything excusable; one is youth. Another is money. Youth fades; money is a lockbox, armor. The world’s a wicked place; but, don’t be disappointed- this was written in time, after all. Ah, we’re here."
It was a nondescript enough place, it didn’t seem to have any voice: quiet between the bricks and the newspaper stands. Strands of ink in the night. The blustered inside, where the lights were low and the darkness was stifling over pools of lily candle light, floating by on every table...against propaganda posters sat the group, at the separate tables- Raven, Shad, and the twins at one booth, then Princess sitting alone at a little table to their right.
There seemed to be something subtle in the atmosphere that made Link smile curiously, wondering what was up. The only one who looked like there wasn’t something behind his mind was Raven; he raised an eyebrow when Link and Sheik walked in. "Oh, here he is," he said, with an arch of suspicion rising catlike in his voice, "You gotta have like, ESP or some shit, Sheik. What’s with showin’ up like, thirty fuckin’ years late, kid?"
"Oh- I just needed to help clean the kitchen," Link laughed. The lights in here were low, lit that way that dimmed perception- Sheik moved slim into a seat across from Raven, and Link began to follow, shuffle in-
But Raven shook his head. "Hey, what the Hell? Go sit with Princess, you cretin," he said, gesturing over to Princess sitting nearby at a small, round table.
"No room here," the twins nodded.
"Ain’t you a gentleman? Mother fucking Teresa and shit?" Raven added.
Link tipped his head curiously. "Oh, sorry," he said, and went dutifully over to Princess in a puppy walk. Sheik’s mind flashed and paused- he couldn’t explain this twisted spark that shot dark into his arms when Link walked away...
"Sorry, I didn’t forget you! I didn’t know you were alone!" Link said brightly, slipping into the seat across from Princess. She smiled- Earl pearl gray, the morning flushing into her eyes as she saw Link’s boyish movements, his sweet smile...
"It’s fine," she laughed, "I knew you wouldn’t forget me."
A scene from different points of view- different impressions in the darkness that hovered between lit spaces. Raven made some crude comment about a girl outside, and they decided what to order- a warm smile, a reaching hand, a dark feeling of hate glimmering in an anonymous heart: that was how it started out, so it was obvious to anybody who paid attention that it wouldn’t end well.
There was spastic laughter and alcohol rising into the blood- halfway through, half the party was half drunk, and there was a wholly nice feeling to the air. Link had no idea, of course, that they were trying to set him up with Princess. Every time he turned around to join in on their conversation, he’d get shunted out rudely, evicted from the group like some social pariah. He was confused, but he liked Princess, so it was okay.
Sheik was telling some story at the table- his speech a silencer, magnetic and cryptic. "It was a street gun and a desert thief- luckily, I made it out alive," he was saying, the last syllable a feline sigh, "-escaped into the alley night, but there was a clown. I, of course, did my civic duty and kicked him in the crotch. Happiness is a socialist thing, after all."
There was a rising of laughter at the table (slim thirty-somethings nearby shot them a dirty look); Link choked on his drink a little. "I met a clown once, actually," he piped up from his seat- "I think he pinched my cheeks or something."
Sheik turned to Link, looked at him over his shoulder. "Didn’t he see the no solicitation sign?"
"I don’t think so- I was scarred for life, three times over," Link grinned.
"Hey, what the Hell? Pay some goddamn attention to the girl," Raven snapped, gesturing over to Princess.
"Yeah, this is a no-Link zone!" one of the twins sputtered out, words half-slurred.
Link laughed and turned back to Princess. "Sorry, sorry," he said, taking a sip of his drink, "So, uhm...what’s up?" he asked, hesitantly, for lack of something better to say.
She paused, then laughed. "‘What’s up?’" she repeated, and he laughed along with her. "Jeez, Link," she added.
"I know- I just dono what to say. Hmm, these are really good- hey, lemme try your drink!" Link exclaimed, suddenly keen on the idea- she was drinking something interesting- electric pink-colored and with sugar on the rim. He reached his hand out, and she laughed as she gave the cup to him. He took a thoughtful sip. "Huh, that’s good- it’s sweet though." He took his cup and Princess watched his eyes (and she saw that same rainy day in them that Sheik had seen, and her heart was melted gold for a moment); he reached it out to her. "Want some?"
Her eyes widened a little, and she smiled and nodded. Neither noticed the vigilant hush that fell over Sheik’s table...Link tipped it a little and she took a sip. "Careful," she said, as some spilled on the table. "It’s- uh, it’s good- thank you," she said with a happy laugh like falling stars. Link smiled and said something, took a quick gulp from the glass before setting it back on the table.
Raven was watching with slow, alligator eyes. "Christfuck, he’s a goddamn natural," he said, with a surly line in his mouth- his eyes flashed to the rest of the table. "Why the Hell doesn’t he get more ass? Prolly ’cause he’s hangin’ ’round you, ya goddamn delinquent."
Sheik’s mind blanked- one dim light of thought flickering low and cold. "Hmm, maybe," was all he said, somewhat distractedly, turning his eyes away from Princess and Link quickly. This feeling was crushing- more like swallowing, a supermassive black hole, something strong and cruel...
"That’s really good, actually," Link mused to himself, blissfully unaware as he reached over for Princess’ drink.
She smiled. "Oh, just be careful though- I’ve been sick the last few days, I don’t know if I could still have it," she warned, a tone of warmth showering the chords of her voice-
"Hm, well that’s very considerate of you, isn’t it?" Sheik said mildly from his place.
There was a pause; Link looked up to Sheik, knowing immediately from the tone that something was wrong- knew from the withdrawn venom, knew from the way the atmosphere suddenly changed- the way he said it, so casual and dull. Princess bit her lip hesitantly, that tone was like a knife; the rest of the group just fell into quiet. Sheik didn’t look back to Link and Princess, just seemed to shake it off, and he resumed the conversation just as easily.
But he shook on the inside, felt to erase his mind for a moment- he didn’t understand, but he had...just felt like he couldn’t control himself, it was coursing in his bones like electric shock. He sat dissatisfied as Shad said something, warily easing back into a normal mood. He didn’t know what hopes for Link Princess had- didn’t know what Link even thought of her- but any which way it made him uneasy, put a bad black taste in his throat. And why did he even feel that way?...
Link knew that whenever Sheik had that tone he meant it. He held a distant worry, wondering if he’d done something wrong and hadn’t noticed it...maybe he’d taken a bit too much, maybe he’d acted too familiar? He smiled it off though, so that Princess wouldn’t feel anxious. "What did you have, anyway?" he asked.
She paused- juxtaposed to that subtle panther poison, Link’s warm mouth, his cosmic eyes, were a place to go to- were shelter from the storm. "Oh, probably just a cold," she answered. "I got it from one of the girls in the office, I bet- they go around just sneezing all over their hands, touching everything."
"An office?" Link asked, then grinned. "Are you a businessman?"
She laughed and thwacked him playfully on the hand. "No, Link, I’m not a businessman. I’m a secretary for the businessman." She paused, eyes flickered upwards- exhaled a flushed breath of air like the alcohol was choking pink around her lungs. "He’s a jerk, but it’s fine."
"Hm. I guess things are funny like that- everything looks different from a certain standpoint- I mean it seems like bosses are always jerks in one way or another," Link pondered.
Princess smiled. "Yeah, it does always look different- like I probably just look like some dumb floozy to him- God, I know I do- and he’s just an ass to me...do you work, Link?"
Link paused and some rainy thought popped into his mind. "Nope," he said, shaking his head and thinking of Sheik.
She laughed. "Oh, you’re a slacker, then?"
He smiled. "I guess so," he replied.
"Well, working’s not always the best thing to do at the moment- I mean like, I guess sometimes it’s just not a good time, you have to take off," she said, but her words suddenly seemed distant.
"Oh, yeah- hey, you! Why the Hell didn’t you come out with me and Jovani the other day?" Raven called from the other table, making an exasperated gesture, "We raised fucking Hell- they ain’t gonna want us back in that place for a long time- you fuckin’ missed out!"
"Oh, really?...When was that? Thursday?" Link asked, looking over.
"Nah, Wednesday."
"Oh. I was at Sheik’s house," Link answered, brushing some hair out of his eyes, taking a sip of his drink.
Raven’s expression balked- some confusion passed his face in dark and gold, and his eyes snapped. "Eh?" he answered, raising an eyebrow, then looking at Sheik. Sheik made no response- only the dark bloody claret of his eyes moved small and snakelike to Raven. Raven paused; Link lifted his eyes, wondering what was up. "...You were at Sheik’s house?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Link answered- had he said something wrong? The atmosphere hadn’t stilled but it sure as Hell was moving slow- there seemed to be an exchange of glances, a communal shift in posture...
"Well, lucky fuckin’ you," Raven said with a bite in his tongue, with a shrug in his shoulders- taking his drink with a rough hand, like it was some arbitrary set of gambling cards. "Never thought I’d see the fuckin’ day, Sheik."
"That’s right," Sheik replied- without enough of a pause to make it natural- something in his manner laughing sinfully, looking down from some dark rainy cliff- "It’s fit to understand, I don’t just let anybody close to me."
Those words were directed at somebody- an arrow that pierced with direction through metaphysical dark, but the question was who was it directed at? The answer was up in the air- the blame was up for grabs. Princess felt a hot caution, like it was directed at her; and Link’s heart fell into rainy day gray, feeling that Sheik was angry with him for some reason.
There was an odd waiting hush, a waiting for somebody to pick up the night again. Sheik let out a sound that sounded like a small seismic laugh but seemed more like a viper’s hiss, and said, "Well? You were talking of something- go on, then, no need for interruption."
Words the dark flesh of pomegranate, coming full circle like night...Everybody was a little off-balance now, but resumed some remnants of thought leftover. What was worse was that Sheik’s air was now pointedly casual- markedly cool, like he was just ready, at the front lines with a blade in his blood, off his tongue.
Link fidgeted in his seat- felt to get out, but also wondered with a quiet heart what was wrong. Had he done something...? He’d been within the radius of Sheik’s hate- felt that itching heat- but it was different when it was directed at him. It felt like needles; it felt like being behind a closed door.
He looked up to Princess- her eyes were wary and moving slow, and Link could tell she didn’t know if she should go- didn’t know how to pick up the conversation again. He worked up a smile and gave her a small tap on the wrist. Her eyes turned up surprised. "So, uh- you were saying about your jerk boss?" he asked.
Her hand was petal soft; she lifted it slowly, breaking contact seamlessly, touch of water. "Oh, nothing," she answered, leaning her hand in her palm, "I just never know where I am with him-"
And at his place at the table, Sheik was slowly burning inside some golden cage- heart suffering, mind well beyond a conceivable road. Something inside him was trembling, but he was trying,...he was trying to salvage some sense, trying to keep this dark feeling at bay. But it was overcoming him slowly, and between cracks of petulant light, he didn’t feel like he could contain it any longer.
Everything seemed to recede to empty space, to quiet air; some people were just coming out, some were folding dreams between their hands and heading home- a silent reality that seemed to be too much. Raven was untouchable even to this pervading silence, but had gone after a cute girl he saw at the bar ("Holy shit," he’d declared, shuffling out of the booth). The twins, always ready for a laugh at Raven’s expense, followed quickly after.
Shad and Sheik continued a conversation that slanted off of sunset, that seemed to be a game of perception. But Sheik wasn’t the losing kind- he could run circles ’round Shad if he wanted to, so Shad just kept a pleasant vocabulary. It seemed to all be fine but Shad recognized something choking in Sheik’s movements.
Princess and Link were having fun at their table- a drunken kind of fun, rosy in laughing and time forgotten. A freelance magician came around and passed a flier to them with the face of a reaper. They tried to make something resembling a house of cards by tearing it into pieces, but it fell down with every anxious laugh- every flash of Princess’ eyes making his hands falter. Link sensed something in the way she looked at him, but he didn’t think too much about it.
"Yes, but," Sheik was saying, words soft and amused, "there is war in the mind, in the heart. War happens everyday; by every number on the clock something is destroyed. Between sex and money- the blood of the empire- it’s a natural thing for war to happen; there’s no avoiding it, unless you’d like to tranquilize the hearts of the masses."
Shad was smiling as well- wills seemed to be pushing against each other, passing abrasive. "I suppose that nature is inherently warlike," he agreed, "However, I believe that through the faculties of reason and compassion, mankind may be able to overcome the instinct of conflict." Link caught their words by a thread of silence; pondered the fact that Shad seemed to be the only person who Sheik’s words were ineffective against.
Sheik laughed. "Reason and logic are irrelevant dogs- slip away like air when you need them the most." He seemed to reason on that point, leaned strangely into the dark. "You can have your peace, then; I’ve got dues to pay to spirits and masks, and this battlefield is where I earn my wages."
"You’re far too superstitious," Shad smiled.
"Maybe you’re just blind," Sheik responded, never one to miss a beat, "-None of you academics believe in reality, besides."
"Perhaps not; but if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the restroom," Shad said, getting up with a polite nod, and moving imperceptibly past their table, past some lost people.
There didn’t seem to be any shift in the air. Sudden stillness, sudden quiet, yeah- but none of the tense electricity that one would presume would be there if it was just Princess, Link, and Sheik together. The only one who felt anything different was Sheik- a sudden tensing, the completion of some dark wave’s circumnavigation of his brain. He let off a breath and turned his eyes past the colors in his mind and toward the scene outside the window...
His mind was dulled; animal in that there was now only sensation, only instinct. He felt somebody come closer to him and seemed to look up out of a daze when Link’s arm passed over his shoulder- reaching to get something on the table...
"Oh, sorry," Link said, the words faltering- Sheik looked up to him; his eyes were suddenly soft and there was a pause on his mouth- he laughed, "These just looked good but we didn’t order them at my table so I wanned to try them."
Link popped one of the leftover appetizers into his mouth, giving it life from the condemnation of the abandoned plate; the lights were low, so that there were only hints of the light that made his face, but Sheik thought that there was no better light to see him in right now. His mind flushed, lit in wheels of color, became engulfed in shadow like he was on a drunk: the sudden thought that Link was something permanent and sweet as death, and high fear rising into his throat at the thought...some sudden intense brightness at having him near, some dark criminal thought- something sick...
Link tensed under Sheik’s eyes. He figured in all probability he was still mad at him- was so worried that he’d done something wrong that he directed his gaze elsewhere and wondered nervously what to say. "Yeah, it’s good," he coughed nervously, smiling a little bit, balance lilting..."Oh, so- uhm-"
"You should be getting back to Princess, hm?" Sheik suddenly said, as though feeling had pushed through his mouth- words sharp and bitter; something was telling him it shouldn’t be that way, but it was overwhelming him...
Link paused; Princess looked over from the table, sitting lonely, petite legs crossed- thought maybe to get in a good impression with Sheik, and said with a smile, "Oh, no, I’m fine! You two keep talking."
"Oh, so you wouldn’t be lonely then- you wouldn’t worry about him forgetting you?" Sheik said, laughing dark, eyes cutting over to her. He fixed her with a look- quiet and carnivorous, full of something corrosive- and she flinched. Link turned back to Sheik in the throws of surprise, crawling to his brain with electroshock and ice. Sheik sat coiled, emotions throwing off him like magnetic waves- the heat of his feeling was physical, tangible, changed the patterns of the air immediately.
"Oh- no- I was just- I mean, no," she started to stutter, forgetting her mouth and letting her confusion run- but Sheik was not one for pity and he wasn’t one for wasting time, and a flash of irritation sparked inside his dark eyes.
"Ah, ‘no’, is it? Good, then, take a moment to breathe- relax without the heat of infatuation," he snapped- a voice that destroyed, that razed cities- that burned- but also something small and petty in his words that was foreign to Link.
"Sheik-" he said, as though to ask him what was wrong.
"Apologies aren’t exactly my way," Sheik snapped, without waiting for response, thinking it was just another of those, people who tried to beat him into some semblance of similarity...but then he paused and realized that it was Link- Link, eyes for asking, eyes that embraced as free and warm as tears would- Link with a fire in his movements. Sheik’s eyes were suddenly shadowed and he looked away quickly. "Y-you’d best leave me be, for now," he said, uneasily- his fingers twitched just a little bit, hand lying listless on the table.
Princess was flushed red- flustered, embarrassed- looked like she was about to crack from vexation at the table. Link didn’t know what to do and so he listened to Sheik- followed Sheik’s directions, headed over to their table...Princess got up and excused herself, not knowing what else to do, and Link’s mind was falling down and blinded- his heart tightened and he felt rainy and gray. He followed Princess as she made her way to the door; he came to a realization- he’d remember it as first time he’d heard Sheik stutter, and that meant something because he had such unfailing confidence in Sheik’s words. Sheik would just remember it as a night of Hell- a night of feelings that blind-sided him without regard to clarity; that erupted in darkness and light, that spelled "longing" like flowers and flame, like sweetness just out of reach. Dying of thirst surrounded by water- slave to some hateful feeling that remained mockingly anonymous.
Nobody else recognized anything wrong, though, when they came back to the table. The twins idly wondered where Link was; Raven situated himself all criminal posture and low swears as he explained the situation with that chick at the bar; and Shad just sat down smiling, continuing the conversation with a blind eye.
And then everything just ebbed again, the tide weakened and fell to just a memory- became only a dim wariness to Sheik and Link. The night wrapped up goldwire around itself; Sheik and Raven got the check and they all shuffled out. Princess was happy again; Link, in a rare moment of cleverness, managed to convince her that she was just being overly emotional and not remembering things clearly because she was tipsy. Which she was, so he helped her to sober up by frantically ordering a seltzer, and that was that. She was laughing in no time, downing her drinks and becoming again the flower of the night, the glamour Madonna and the saint of sunshine.
Link sorta felt like a sucky person for doing it, but he hadn’t known what else to do, had still been confused by the sudden hatred in Sheik’s voice, the sudden pinpointing anger. He sighed it off and they all walked out to Shad’s car.
The night was cool; the boulevards were wide, seemed to be full of fluorescent moonlight and the empty stories of love and murder. There seemed to be something untold in the anonymous doors, the muddled neon language. Everything seemed to be flowering anyway and the car pulled slowly forward, picked up speed.
"’Ey, what the Hell is this fuckbrain doing? Come the fuck on- what the fuck’s with the snails on the road?" Raven was saying impatiently at the front looking with a hot irritation at the cars ahead. An older man in a business suit (a heart attack waiting to wake up) was holding up traffic at a green light, and they were stuck at the crossroad.
"Snails are street-legal," Sheik said, throwing commentary, voice amused from the back seat. Link couldn’t help but smile but was careful not to laugh.
"Looks like it- ’ey, what’s this shit? You drive like a fucking old lady, Shad," Raven balked, looking appalled at Shad behind the wheel. "You tryin’a get a look at the goddamn turtles?"
Shad laughed and shook his head. "There’s no harm in being safe," he said like it was a reminder.
Raven rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah- close your legs, I can see your vagina from here," he snapped.
-But even in Raven’s speech you could feel the sleepy air that had taken over the car. Things seemed to still. A short midnight silence fell like static electricity, like radio sounds, over the car.
"Anyone want a cigarette?" Raven asked from the front seat, taking out a box of cigarettes with a slim gesture.
Sheik’s mind sparked a little bit, surfaced from memories and illusions; he felt like smoking...but not now, later. He couldn’t, in front of...
"Oh, me, please!" Princess called from the back, raising her hand a little bit.
"Yeah- here ya go, honey," Raven replied, stretching back to hand the cigarette to one of the brothers, who dutifully passed it on to Princess. Sheik and the twins were sitting in the back seats; Princess and Link were relegated to makeshift chairs in the hatchback trunk.
Smoke drifted, predator lazy, cold and slow, up from the front seat. Princess took the cigarette with a delicate "thank you," and placed it between her lips. Sheik felt a spark of hatred fill his eyes, and he turned to look out the window- trying to get her out of his peripherals...
The smoke wrapped around her; her skin shone pure and sugary in the street light and Link smiled. She looked back at him; her eyes laughed. "Did you have fun tonight?" she asked, breaking a tense, saccharine silence.
"Huh?- yeah," Link nodded, a kid’s grin coming over his face.
She laughed. "That’s good. I did, too."
He gave a gesture of confidence- he turned to look out the window, and Princess took a moment to digest the rainy, low way he moved. He seemed melancholy, but she was too buzzed to see that clearly. "Oh- hey, look outside," he said, leaning toward the window to get a better view. The street had its own stars; the air seemed silent and cold, seemed to still- had the feeling of a museum. "The lights outside are nice- it’s like- nature’s good, but I think manmade things are too. It’s just pretty, I guess."
She bit her lip in the throws of affection- he was such a little kid...she took a drag and looked at him- suddenly bold. "Yeah? What about me?" she asked.
Sheik noted that his breathing seemed suddenly empty- something in his blood turned cold at that Link might look at her, might actually go through with that. That same boulevard melody played, rattled, in his bones, but now it just seemed to weigh on him like a stone- it was without the sweetness and the melancholy it had before, was now just a gilded prison. He wondered about his heart-
But Link just turned to look at her- not realizing her intentions, thinking it a simple arbitrary question. "You?..." he asked, and looked at her consideringly. She blushed slightly at his eyes. "...Yeah. You have this certain- the light is good on you. You look like a flower, a little bit. But more like- have you ever seen those little cards that have prayers and pictures of martyrs and flowers on them? You look like that, to me. Like a ghost, sort of."
Her mind turned frenzied- lifted to a high and she chewed down more thoughtfully on her lip, wondering what to say. Something about him was just so nice..."Oh, uhm,- thank you," she managed to stammer.
"You’re welcome!" Link piped happily.
She paused; then she laughed like autumn wind. Link paused, wondering what was funny, but he laughed too, anyway. The words just fell into Sheik’s mind, down some endless abyss, cruelly starry and filled with untouchable brightness.
Princess smiled and sighed, pressed her head against the window with her cigarette in her hand, close by; the white outside lights- the cool amalgam of shadow and electricity that made pools in the night, travelling shadows- colored her face with lily magic. Sheik felt an urge to see her...he looked at her askance, subtle. In that moment he felt an irritation flare in his chest...that she could smoke and smile and look pretty- that, as he realized, Link could see it. More blues, more feelings colliding; the phrase "all in vain" crossed his mind, and he didn’t have the courage to admit why.
Princess was dropped off at her small apartment; her roommate buzzed her in and she gave a small wave toward the car. The twins lived not too far away, so they were next...and then was Link: the came upon the place, and Link thanked everybody, said goodnight...
"Yeah, yeah, get outta the fuckin’ car," Raven answered, pushing him a little bit.
"Eww, Raven germs," Link laughed, pulling open the door from the back. The cool air flushed inside- a breeze blew up from the tar and the flowers. He threw himself over the back seat with a clumsy puppy movement, falling on his back. "I have Ravenitis now," he added, sticking his tongue out.
"Ha-ha- anymore time in this car with you I swear I’d be infected with your fucking faggotry," Raven replied. Link stepped out; Raven leaned out the window a little bit, watching Link as he closed the door. "’Ey," he began, smoke pouring out of his mouth, "You wanna work tomorrow?"
Link looked back at him, mouth pausing. "Okay, sure," he smiled.
"Good. Watch the fuckin’ phone then."
"Okay! Night- everyone!" Link replied, and turned coolly, with seamless favela ease, toward the house. He’d added "everyone" as a nervous afterthought...he didn’t want to say goodbye to Sheik directly, but he didn’t want to not say goodbye to him...
He began to walk toward the door. The azaleas breathed in the midnight breeze; life seemed to have stilled, halted to this city mist. But it wasn’t right to leave it like that, he suddenly thought- it wouldn’t be right to just give some half-assed, "Goodbye, everyone" like it was insurance, like it was just a safe way out. He couldn’t bear with taking the easy way out. Couldn’t even bear with the uncertainty of Sheik’s feelings- the thought he might be angry at him...
So he pivoted around, heading back toward the car. Sheik had his eyes closed inside- opened them slow when Link tapped on the window, opened them like it was a dream he’d already foreseen. Raven and Shad turned around to face Sheik; Shad rolled the window down and Sheik turned his eyes up, careful not to look too directly at Link.
But there was no smile this time- but his eyes were already caught in that cool soda light, but his hair was already a torrid storm. "Hey- can I uhm- talk to you for a second?"
Sheik’s mind paused dreadfully, but something in him obeyed. He pulled the door open and got out- wondering if he had wanted this to happen or if he hadn’t wanted this to happen. At any rate this confusion was just too much...
He stepped out. His movements were cautious, catlike- he seemed to recede into the dark, only the quiet in his eyes was apparent to Link. Link stood against the fall air and put his hands behind his back, rocked on his heels. "I, uhm," he said, moving slightly; Sheik moved closer as if to answer the bell’s toll. "I just wanted to say that I’m sorry- if you’re mad at me..." Link paused, then laughed soberly. "I mean, I must sound like a huge douche- ‘I’m sorry for I don’t know what’- hah, I mean, but I don’t mean it like that."
His eyes wandered along the stretches of street that surrounded them like a song. "I didn’t mean to do anything jerky, is all. I don’t think it’s right to not apologize."
Sheik leaned, contrapose- gained some of the graffiti light, some of the vital carnival red, that Link recognized from before. "You didn’t do anything wrong," he finally said. Warmth crept into his voice- glance like cinnamon, like sugar; his words had the slow ringing of alcohol. "As I've said- a good mood depends upon the stars; tonight it was one light out of time, it was two beats out of place...don’t worry yourself."
Link wasn’t sure what to think of that- it seemed true in one sense, but it seemed veiled, masked, in another sense. The words seemed to feel right, but there wasn’t any logic to them...He looked back at Sheik and saw nothing but an offer- nothing out of order-, so he paused, nodded. "Okay, then. Cool.- Hey, let’s go out tomorrow!"
Sheik laughed. "Of course- just mind the stories of the dark," he replied, with faultless rhythm.
Link agreed with a flash of the eyes- stepped forward to hug Sheik. What was to him just casual was a heart attack to Sheik; Sheik felt the warmth of Link’s neck, the prison of his arms- felt like it would be right if it was just a little tighter, if it meant more, if in this he could read the strength and the sadness. But Link just released him and smiled, waved; he turned around and headed past the azaleas to the door.
Sheik paused on air. His balance tilted strangely; his eyes were like a cat’s as he watched Link move like music, move breathless and sunny. Pink morning sun was creeping into the rushing blue, light from the desert; it would rain tomorrow, probably. Sheik might not have had to courage to admit this hollow beating in his chest; but even so, a dark voice told him that it wasn’t his choice at all. That he was really fucked now.
And maybe he was; he counted by the signs that seemed to appear, by the luckless wind that seemed to rise up and cast him into some cruel spell. He asked a woman about the lines of his palm while she drew henna up his fingers- she only told him that she’d seen this day would come, and to watch out for his left side. And it choked him, made his blood constrict, that he knew exactly what she meant by "this day."
He felt alone; the lights were spinning up on the ceiling overhead, spilling primary colors down the floor. He moved past the crowd in the heat of music; spotted Raven by the bar. "Oh, hey," Raven said casually, tipping his glass a little bit as a greeting.
"Is Link here?" Sheik asked- posture of a refugee, onto the next road.
"No- that faggot said he hadda help with chores or sumthin’ like that," Raven scoffed, finishing off his glass with a gator’s bite. "He took the money and fuckin’ ran outta there. Dint even say goodbye or nuthin’. Some fuckin’ manners."
Sheik nodded- or at least seemed to nod, but his eyes were distant and full of a light that seemed nervous, that seemed to care...he suddenly wanted a cigarette, so he stumbled back outside.
These people were all strangers- they were all just murders waiting to happen, they were all bloodless, like lizards or like masks. Sheik slipped past them, slim and quiet, and moved outside- was he stumbling? He suddenly felt clumsy, he suddenly felt like he was blinded by a wave of colors that pulled a veil over his consciousness...A poignant feeling struck strong into his heart- like scent flowering on cold night air...
He looked at his palms, he saw nothing but empty space; saw nothing but his own face. Link wasn’t here- was that good or was that bad? Pink descended down like honey lights- starry pink, cosmic and bold, that fell over his eyes, fell over his heart...some line of melody recalled the low way Link moved; his worried heart and his homeless eyes- his champagne laugh...
Link could cut between light and dark, resided in twilight- Sheik knew now what it was that Link carried on his shoulders. Link existed as the sole arbitrator between right and wrong- he walked the line and he didn’t complain, but oh he was a lonely angel, he was a child of the street...his mouth was full of water and sweetness. Mind full of radiance, always stuck in in-betweens...
Sheik stood like he was at the mouth of some decision. Like there was only black space around him. How had this happened?- it was a horror and a thrill to spin down this lonely tunnel- to feel the light of Link beside him or miles away, to feel a sugar longing that lived solely in the night.
author's note: and in the next chapter...ZELDA COMES HOME!
Thanks for reading! :D