The Ashleigh Legacy | Gen. 3.0.
Archive | ✖ Bad words, occasional naked pixels, and general disregard for the status quo.
Last time: Kash aged up to YA and scampered off to pee on marry and impregnate Kristin as soon as possible. I moved them out with Sheba so I wouldn't have to watch her die. :| Juliet lost her damn mind and stole Aaron's magic and bailed. Finn and Aaron went after her, leaving Sasha and Scarlett to fend for themselves. Naturally they left town to go impose themselves on Von. And they took Wonton, as well.
Welcome back to the Ashleigh legacy. As you can see, everyone is still an idiot and everything is still dumb.
Please allow me to introduce you to the lovely and very well-mannered Miss Dáiríne Cormyth (hopeless_sims), but because I don't want to type all those accents every time I write her name, she will be Dai from now on.
Dai is very uncomfortable with this scenario.
Dai: This is unacceptable! Is it not? Why does this keep happening?
As expected, the ladies freak out and Hannibal Von is calm and cool.
Von: Anyone else want hot dogs?
/cue Dramatic Scene
Scarlett: A thousand apologies, Dai! I was just playing with fire. Was that wrong?
Von: Of course it was wrong! That's one of the first things children are taught; don't play with fire!
Dai: Von, don't raise your voice-
Scarlett: I never meant any harm... it was just so beautiful. The way it danced and flickered. Almost playful... like it wanted me to reach out and-
Von: Don't do it again. Scarlett.
Scarlett: I... well, yes. Of course. I'll do my best.
Dai: We have faith in you, dearest.
Von: You know that my sister and I are happy to have you and Sasha stay here with us until your uncle comes back, but you have to stop setting things on fire, Scarlett. My nerves are fragile.
Scarlett: I can't help myself, Von. Whenever you're around me I just start to slowly immolate...
Von: Scarlett, don't-
KISSING SOUNDS.
/end Dramatic Scene
Sasha: Do you guys mind getting a room, or something? I can't hear my porn over the sound of you mouth-raping Von, Scar.
Sasha was fussy because she'd been forced to move away from... that one girl she would make out with occasionally in Neverglade. Kayleen? I don't remember. So she took a wander around Evansdale County and decided to start damning love and sunshine and unicorns and all that shit out in front of the equestrian center, and the little farmhouse on the property.
Gold: (awesimz) HONK HONK! Move your cute ass, pinkie! I don't slow down for anyone!
Sasha: Whoa! Watch it, woman! I'm trying to get my soapbox on!
Sasha: ...Hey! Did you just say I have a cute ass? Come back here!
But she didn't. So Sasha did what any respectable teenage girl does when she sees someone cute. She stalked.
Sasha: Hi. You nearly ran me over on your, uh... broom. I'm really hoping that's the only sort of wood you like to have between your legs because I'd like to ask you out some time.
Gold: Oh, man, I love dirty sexual innuendo. You're on! What's your name? I'm Gold.
Sasha: Sasha. I'm named after a really fucking long song that no one in their right mind would listen to unless heavily under the influence of something.
Gold: I've got some shit that could drag us right under the influence. You game?
Sasha: Uhhhmm.. well....
Gold: I also put out on the first date.
Sasha: *reverts to caveman mentality*
Sasha: Yes. Sasha want.
Contain your drool, babe, and go after her!
Wonton: (Hi. I still exist.)
They autonomously did the laundry together. Oh, my heart.
But some snobby bitch decided she wanted to leave a huge pile of wet clothes on the foyer rug.
Dai: It wasn't me.
I will cut you.
No, but seriously, guys; he autonomously made hot dogs.
Hannibal Von: What a nice night for grilling.
Yeah. Perfect night for cooking outdoors.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Second fire, same fire place, same day.
Von: Scarlett, we talked about this!
Scarlett: I don't think it was my fault this time!
it was.
Scarlett: This thing is being very disagreeable.
Von: At the fire, Scarlett! Point it at the fire!
Von's LTW is Jack of all Trades. His first career is in the culinary arts.
My, my, your ears are so sharp and pointy, sir.
Von: I know.
This is the Cormyth's cowplant. Her name is Lulu. Sasha decided to make friends with the only female more obnoxious than she is.
Sasha: Oh, you want this swordfish? Doooo yooouuuu? Thiiiiiis one?
Lulu: Bitch, if you don't deposit that fish into my mouth in the next three seconds, I'll be tasting your entrails shortly thereafter.
Sasha: Ew, poopy.
Lulu: Indeed.
What.
Von: Shut up. I accidentally threw away my phone.
Well done.
That's what you get for hanging out in a dumpster all night.
Oh, Scarlett. One day he's going to realize that you creep into bed with him after he falls asleep.
Scarlett: ♪♫ Oh Vooooooon, I want to get it ooooooon,
With yooooouuuu~
Oh Voooooon, don't lead me ooooooon,
I love yooooouuuu~ ♪♫
Sasha: SHUT UP OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T PLAY THAT THING IT SOUNDS LIKE THE GENOCIDE OF AN ENTIRE NATION OF CATS WITH PNEUMONIA STOP NOW
Scarlett rolled the LTW Golden Tongue/Golden Fingers and Sasha appears displeased.
Leisure Day.
Von: Want to play, Scarlett?
Scarlett: Am I doing it right?!
Von: You are if you want me to win! Yes! I'm the best!
Scarlett: That's it, I'm setting more things on fire.
Von: Did you say something?
Scarlett: No! Let's try again!
Scarlett: Oh my stars, this is heavenly on my tongue! Such a delightful and energizing burst of citrusy flavor! Sasha, do you like yours? isn't it amazing? A marvel!
Sasha: Yeeeaaaah. Crushed up ice with some junky syrup on it. It's a fucking mind-boggling innovation, sis.
Dai: Someone help me, please! I am in danger of toppling over! I don't care for gravity! Please!
They're close for sisters, okay?
Sasha: Yes! We're totally hot together, do you see that?!
Scarlett: Oh happy day! My one true love forever by my side!
Von, you look like a fairy with wings made of stank.
Her face. So serene. So much delicious processed meat.
...
You guys had one job. There were three of you and none of you won. I am never betting on any of you ever again.
Congrats, Cassidy.
Cassidy: ERMAHGERD I AM THE BEST AT HOT DOGS
Gold: Hi, me again. I'm just running by on my way out of here to remind you that you are sooooo in love with me. Chase me! Chase me!
Sasha: Bitch. God, that's so hot.
Gold: Today's my birthday. I don't know why the fuck I'm bothering doing this homework. You want to spend tonight with me? Help me celebrate?
Sasha: Yeah. Absolutely. Mine's tomorrow, will you come over for it?
Gold: You know it.
Footsies.
Sasha made a festive and celebratory autumn salad for the occasion. But she only made enough for herself. Because she's a cruel, cruel beast.
It was now at this point that I changed my lighting mod and added a new action when I edited my pictures, so excuse the slight difference in screencap quality. NOTHING TO SEE. MOVE ALONG. /hits with cane
She then pranked the sink while Gold was peeing. She's like a cat; biting your hand is her way of showing love. I guess she assumed fixing the dishwasher would make up for it.
Sasha: (I just wanted to get her wet, duh.)
Sasha: Come on, one more time before you're legal?
Gold: You're so filthy. You're kind of perfect.
Gold: *boobies*
Sasha: *dumb caveman laugh and yet more drool*
Yeah, get some.
Good, good. You are slowly but surely giving in to Scarlett's wiles, Von.
He is quite the diligent raker.
Damn. I knew I saw lightning. I would have paid to see Dai get struck by lightning lol.
Birthdays!
Sasha: FINALLY.
Obviously Von is thrilled because Scarlett will no longer be underage.
Scarlett rolled Charismatic.
Insane . Hot-Headed . Genius . Neat . [Hopeless Romantic] . Charismatic
Sasha rolled Kleptomaniac, to make grandma Bo proud.
Slob . Evil . Light Sleeper . Charismatic . Kleptomaniac
That's not very ladylike, Dai.
Dai: No one is watching! Whee!
Obligatory scenery spam. Evansdale County.
Scarlett: So, what do you think? Now that I'm older, will you quit pretending you don't know that I sneak into your bed every night?
I think that's a 'yes'.
A really vehement 'yes'. SPOILER: Baby jingles.
Sasha: Oops, I think you dropped this.
Gold: I THINK I DID, TOO.
Sasha: You better hold on to it more tightly this time.
Typical spare wedding. My only regret is not getting Gold into my game earlier. :(
Goodbye, my darlings (and Wonton >.> ). Make me beautifully rebellious and delightfully hateful babies...
...when you're through hanging out on the street corner like hookers. I CAN SEE YOUR PUSSYcat.
OH, AND ALSO THIS HAPPENED. Son of a bitch.
I leave you on that happy note. ♥ As always, thanks for reading!
Guest Sims:
Dáiríne Cormyth by hopeless_sims
Gold Iridescence by awesimz