The Ashleigh Legacy | Gen. 4.4.
Archive | Bad words, occasional naked pixels, and general disregard for the status quo.
Last time: The Ashleighs moved back to Neverglade because Scarlett and Finn thought it would be better for the faeries. Jane and James had their birthdays and become seriously cute. Everybody in the family became erotically obsessed with the Uni mascot. Von wouldn't stop being naked. Everyone danced and ate sno-cones. Jane's imaginary friend, Fox, became sentient and tried to convince her to have Finn make him real. Scarlett had her elder birthday and predicted that Dylan and Bishop would come visit because of it.
Welcome back to the Ashleigh legacy.
Seriously, though. What did you expect?
People just doin' they thang.
Finn fishes a lot because sometimes the house is too loud for his crazy ass.
They’re always banging in the time machine.
Always getting arrowed.
Scarlett was out shopping when this cutie came up to her. If you read it, you might know him from that other game when he had different hair.
London: Hey, are you Scarlett Ashleigh?
Scarlett: I am! Have you come to view my grandchildren? Aren’t they well-formed? I know it’s difficult to fathom, but these small humans gestated in the belly of a man before being pushed out through his -
London: Whoa. Look, I’m just here to deliver a message, not to get some sort of crazy sci-fi anatomy lesson, okay?
London: Your dad, Dylan; he promised to turn me into a vampire if I tracked you down to let you know that him and Bishop are coming to visit.
Scarlett: I knew it! When?
London: Soon, I guess? They wanted to go to Disneyland first, or something.
Scarlett: Disneyland without me?! Those dicks!
Scarlett: Hello, sister dear.
Sasha: Are you freaking kidding me? We’re the same age, but I look like Methuselah and you look exactly like you always have. I hate you.
Scarlett: I know.
Scarlett: Guess what? Daddies are coming back! Are you excited? Are you? Are you?
Sasha: You better be fucking kidding me.
Scarlett: I’m not kidding you! You’re excited! You’re excited! You’re excited!
Sasha: Stop poking me or I will break all of your fingers. I love you, but I’ll break them off and shove them up your nose.
Sasha: Don’t forget, Scar; our dads abandoned us. When we decided to become human, they discarded us. They’re vampires. I’m not excited that they’re coming, I’m pissed. If you see them, you tell them to avoid me, because if I see them, I’ll stake both of those bastards myself.
Sasha: I know you’re joking, Sasha. Always the joker. Always silly, sarcastic Sasha -
Scarlett: Not this time, sis. I’m dead serious. They could have ruined our lives. We were lucky to have uncle Finn, Von, and Dai.
Scarlett wondered if she might have better luck with Kash.
Kash: Hey, sis. Still looking young and pretty despite the birthday.
Scarlett: Thank you. Speaking of young and pretty, I wanted to let you know that our daddies are coming to visit. Sasha won’t see them. Will you?
Kash: Are you on drugs? Hell no. I have nothing to say to them, Scarlett, and neither should you.
Scarlett: Kash, come on -
Kash: No. I won’t have them around me or any of my kids, and I mean that. Don’t you dare tell them where I live.
Scarlett: Ugh, fine. You’re both buttheads.
Jane: Uncle Finn? This might sound kinda weird, but… my friend Fox says you can make a potion that can make them real? Fox says you’ve done it before with a girl named Charlotte?
Finn: Whoa, how do you know about Charlotte?
Jane: Uh, Fox?
Finn: Right! Right. Okay, so, the potion. Fox wants it?
Jane: Yes, please.
Finn: Wow, this is so cool. Yeah, see, me and Scarlett chose to bring the family back to Neverglade because it’s like a hotbed for faeries and we figured you guys would be able to live life to the fullest here. I never thought you might have changelings hanging around. Man, your grandma really is psychic.
Jane: Fox says it’s this place. That Neverglade lets them be alive but nowhere else.
Finn: That’s so awesome. Here, give this to Fox. Tell Fox to drink it all.
Jane: No one ever gives me presents…
No, but really. Von never stops. He just cycles through grandchildren.
Try not to break a hip, you two.
Jeremy: So, is there any legitimacy to mom’s rantings about my grandpas coming to town? She’s gone off about them before but nothing’s ever come of it.
Von: Apparently this time she’s correct. Your grandfathers will be coming to visit.
Jeremy: Wow, crazy.
Von: Choice words, son. Choice words. You need to be mindful of yourself around them, and make sure Derek and the children do the same. Despite their relation, you can never forget what they are.
Jane: Uncle Finn gave this to me. He said you're supposed to drink it?
Fox: Yes! Awesome! Thanks, Jane!
Fox: So, now that I'm real and alive, you wanna get into some trouble?
Jane: Yes. Yes I do.
Fox: We could try and drown your brothers in the pool.
Jane: Ha ha! You're funny, Fox.
Evil little shit isn't joking.
James: Um.
Jack: Who the heck is this guy?
Jane: It's Fox!
Fox: So, you two are pretty good swimmers, huh? Or, maybe not..?
James: Um.
Can't cross-breed robots and creatures without knowing how to make robots, right?
Science, science.
Science things.
Finn: Hello little nanite. I'm going to keep you forever.
Finn needed a test subject and decided that Aaron was as good a subject as any.
Finn: What do you see?
Aaron: It's a bunch of ink splotches, dad.
Finn: Yes, yes. Excellent.
Finn: Now, this might feel a little uncomfortable heh heh heh.
Aaron: How uncomfort- AHHHHHHH! FUCK!
Finn: Okay, how did that feel?
Aaron: /sizzles
Finn had a feeling. Like something was about to happen. Like something was coming.
Or maybe his hands were just burning from lasers. Who could say, really?
TEXT ALERT: Finn Ashleigh's Elder birthday tomorrow!
Finn: OH GOD NO.
New bby gnome.
And a new witch.
Finn had to collect some beetles for SCIENCE! work and Jane had to collect some butterflies for school.
So they went out collecting fireflies instead, because that makes sense.
No.
Jeremy: NO!
Burglar: sdfghnooooo
Jeremy: Bitch.
Happy Saturday morning.
Fox: So, what do you guys think of crime and murder and stuff?
Jane: Fox, shhhh.
Jack: I don't even know how to answer that.
James: (Maybe if I smile, he won't kill me in my sleep.)
Time to get elderly, bb!
Finn: No! No, I can't do it! I tried and I can't!
FINN, YOU PROMISED.
Finn: I caaaaaan't get old!
Finn will never die.
All of the kids rolled the wish to go to the fall festival, so Derek deigned to take them.
Derek: Okay, you're here. Go do other things that don't involve bugging me so I can get my dance on.
Derek: Wait a sec, kid. Let's see if we can get you all faerie'd up.
Fox: Cool. Finally.
Derek: Is it working?
Fox: OW. OW! I DON'T THINK IT WORKED.
Derek: Huh. Sorry, kid. Maybe you're not a changeling after all. You might be a goblin or a gremlin. You're kind of nasty and evil.
Fox: ... ┌П┐(►˛◄’!)
Aww, rampant thievery. I was hoping someone would pick up where Bo left off. Cheers, Jane. ♥
Hi, Winter!
Scarlett: More grand-babies to spoil and coddle and love and sacrifice to the Guardian?
Winter: All of those things except for that last one, mom.
James: I will now address the assembled! Before you stands Uncle Finn, hereby accused of not letting himself get old so he can die and get out of the house so we can use his room for more toys!
Finn: He's such a jerk.
James: ADMITTED BY HIS OWN WORDS!
James: I hereby declare that Uncle Finn must pay for his crimes by letting me have cake for dinner! As I was denied cake because he didn't have his stupid birthday!
Finn: Sounds good to me. I love cake.
James: Yeeess!
Fox is probably imagining running over puppies and old ladies.
Wow, doing something nice for once?
Fox: I'm only doing it so I can set them on fire.
Chipmunk: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.
Every time he ages himself back down he immediately wishes for a new tattoo.
Tattoo Artist: You have about a thousand tattoos. Stop flinching like a huge man-baby.
Finn: I can reduce you to your base atomic structure. Don't be such a meanie.
Oops. I swear I bought him a cake...
Happy birthday, Jack!
Heavy Sleeper . Good . Adventurous . Schmoozer
So, I peeked in on Finn after Jack's birthday and he was on a date. Autonomously.
With Theo. Who is both a man and married with two kids.
Finn's never shown an interest in guys before, but I guess maybe on his fourth life he can try something new?? Aw, my precious home-wrecker.
Theo: Yeah! Stick it in, Finn!
It's like he's encouraging Jeremy by reminding him of all the money he spent at Uni getting his degree.
Evil little goblin.
Guest Sims:
Derek Oros by by divadoom.