maybe this is no good at all

[invisible_buddy]

Whats the point of having a livejournal if i just delet everything i write, i obviously do not feel the need to share all my thoughts with you, but yet i still write here instead of just on paper. It would be neat to have my own journal, but i fear i would only look back and think i must be one depressed kid, because the only time i feel like

Comments

hey

[jinc1019]

ok so I know it's lame I keep leaving you these messages buuut you're not online right now and I don't really have any other way to talk soooo.....I wish I wasn't that way, like I wish I could just sort of move on and stuff and not have to shut people out in order to do so but.....it's pretty much the only way I can get over anything....I know you might not ever really understand what I mean because it's pretty confusing in a way but.....I'm sorry....because part of me wants to just like talk to you and see how you're doing and stuff like that and another part of me is like justin, if you do that then you'll never just get 10000% over the situation......I pretty much hate myself for that but I really can't help it on account that I just had......nevermind it doesn't matter now. I'm glad things are good with you tara and I'll always hope you're doing wicked awesome even if I don't act like or am able to talk to you. sooo I guess I'll stop talking again.......but before I go and we don't talk again for awhile probably.....I want to say

yeaaaaaaaah

[jinc1019]

ok so it's the middle of the night....and I'm listening to my music on my computer feeling all contemplative and such.....and some song comes on and I'm like ohhhhhh man what a tara song. anyway......I've been so stupid.....really stupid.....what's dumb is I've always been worried that talking to you would make me feel bad but....then things happen like tonight and I end up wishing we still talked and me wondering what you're up to.....soooooo I guess I would rather live talking to you than live wishing I was talking to. I know this whole thing has been ridicuously dumb but I am a boy after all and we tend to do dumb things. so.....if you're up to it....in a month, or a day, or a year....then call me.
in case you forgot: 401-464-1966
Later Gator