Fic: What Lies Behind a Pretty Smile (Chapter 5)
Title: What Lies Behind a Pretty Smile (Chapter 5)
Author: Stef (io_amore_voi)
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Past Jensen/OMC/ Past Jared OMC
Summary: Jensen finally found the perfect guy. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, romantic...more than Jensen could possibly dream. Still, he can't shake the feeling that he met Jared somewhere before, and, for reasons he can't explain, he finds himself fearing the man. He chalks it up to his own paranoia and dark past. Besides, as they say, what you don't know won't hurt you, right? Wrong.
Rating (of this chapter): PG-13
Warnings (for all parts):Gangs, near kidnap with the use of chloroform, sexual abuse (not childhood), domestic violence
Disclaimer: I do not know or own Jensen or Jared. Everyone and everything else is made up. This story is entirely fictional and I earn nothing for it.
Past chapters
Jared couldn’t remove his eyes from the picture. Dustin, whose arms were wrapped around Jensen’s middle, was smiling up at the phone, which Jensen was holding above their heads, also while smiling. The fact that Jared's gangster ex-boyfriend- the ex-boyfriend who’d planned to kill Jensen just a year ago-was so close to the man; was touching him, even, and that Jensen was completely happy and oblivious, terrified Jared.
“I dunno,” Jared finally croaked, clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away from the picture. “He’s kinda cute and you look awfully comfortable with him in that picture.”
“I was trying to convince myself that I liked him, but…no. Like I said, he’s alright, just…weird.”
“Want me to tell him to fuck off?”
“No,” Jensen laughed. “But thank you.”
A yawn followed.
“I can’t believe I’m still tired,” he commented. “I guess I should be going.”
“You can stay here if you want,” Jared offered quickly. Jensen smiled.
“I would, but I have to let my dog out. Want to stay over at my house?”
“Sure!”
While Jensen went to use the restroom, Jared threw a couple of things into a bag, internally freaking out all the while. What was he supposed to do? He highly doubted that Dustin had gotten over his anger at Jensen that quickly, especially not to the point of wanting to be his best friend. Jensen wasn’t safe around him. Should he tell him who Dustin really was? It was going to be hard to do that without telling him what he himself had done. Jared knew that would ruin everything the two of them had, and it would kill him inside, but if it was what would be best for Jensen, he’d do it in a heartbeat. However, if Jensen turned him in, Jared would no doubt be arrested and he couldn’t protect him from Dustin from inside a jail cell. Even if he exposed him and the rest of the gang, there was a good possibility that some of them would get off. After all, they tied up their loose ends nicely. One of them would make sure Jensen got taken care of. Jared supposed he could explain all of this to the man and hope he understood, but, even so, he’d mess up his psyche even worse than it already was. Jensen would run, Dustin would figure out why and go after him again, and, that time, there would be no time for games. He’d kill him straight away.
Jared started to contemplate how he could possibly make Dustin’s death look like an accident.
“Hey.”
Jared jumped, turning towards the voice he heard coming from in front of the living room. It was just Jensen, of course.
“You ready?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”
Jensen lived in a nice little house. It was really neat and homey, with just enough bachelor pad feel to keep it from being too girly.
As soon as the front door was opened, a big Golden Retriever jumped up on the smaller man, covering him in licks.
The douche got up and ran; took the dog and everything, Dustin’s voice reverberated in Jared’s head.
“Okay, Rocky, okay. I missed you too,” Jensen laughed, ruffling the dog’s fur lovingly. “He’s nice, I promise.”
“Hey, buddy,” Jared greeted, offering his hand for the dog to sniff. After one quick sniff, he concluded that Jared was allowed in and covered him in licks as well.
“Want anything to eat?” Jensen asked, getting the canine down to lead him to the back door. Jared followed.
“No, thanks,” he replied. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to eat again.
“Okay. I’m just going to heat up some pizza real quick, then I’m going to crash. I have a king sized bed in case you want to share. If not, I’ll take the couch. Up to you.”
“I’m not making you sleep on the couch.”
“Okay, but, just so you know, you’ll also be sharing a bed with Rocky.”
“That’s fine.”
Jensen ate his pizza, and then the men went upstairs to get washed up. Though Jared’s anxiety was still sky-high, he had to admit, he liked the cheesiness of sharing a sink with Jensen while they brushed their teeth, having to fight over who got to spit first. When Jared was trying to be funny, taking his merry old time, Jensen took it upon himself to butt-bump him out of the way, causing him to get water all down the front of his shirt. Jensen snorted.
“That’ll teach you.”
“Oh, it’s on, Ackles.”
“Uh-huh, suuuuuure. Are you gonna take that shirt off now? It’s a little wet.”
Jared glared playfully, but slipped out of his t-shirt, and then his jeans for safe measure. Jensen’s eyes scanned the length of his body, admiring every chiseled muscle, before smiling and leading the way to his bedroom. At first, Jared was afraid that Jensen was going to go all tease-y again, but he didn’t. As the two laid down, Jensen snuggled close, but simply took Jared’s hand in his own before closing his eyes.
“Thank you for today,” he whispered. Jared replied by kissing his nose. Rocky jumped up on the bed a minute later and, soon after that, Jensen fell asleep. Jared was actually getting sleepy himself, but fear was keeping him awake. He never wanted to take his eyes off of Jensen again. He feared that, if he did, he’d never see him again.
Eventually, though, sleep won, and when Jared awoke, both Jensen and Rocky were already up. Jared shot up, kicking the covers off of his body quickly and beginning his search for the other man. He found him in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.
“’Morning,” Jensen greeted. “Sorry I don’t have much for breakfast, but eat whatever you’d like.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Dude…you haven’t eaten in, like…at least fourteen hours.”
“I’ll eat in a little bit.”
“Whatever you say. I have to be at work soon, so I’ll drop you off on my way, okay?”
“Fine by me.”
Jensen finished his cereal, put his bowl in the sink and turned to Jared.
“I just have to get a shower. Wanna join?”
The taller man narrowed his eyes, making the other man laugh.
“Okay, okay. Sorry.”
He didn’t take long in the shower, but Jared didn’t want to risk making him late, so told him he would just wait until he got back to his apartment before taking his.
“Thanks for letting me spend the night,” Jared said once they’d reached his place. Jensen nodded, but was looking off into space, chewing his bottom lip as if he were deep in thought.
“Have something you want to say?” Jared prodded.
“I was really drunk last night.”
“Yeah, I gathered.”
“But I did kind of know what I was doing…and saying.”
Jared just stared, not quite sure where Jensen was going with this.
“You might think I’m crazy, but…I do love you, Jared. That wasn’t the alcohol talking.”
Though Jared tried to stay serious and tell Jensen that he couldn’t love him; that it was just his swarming of emotions making him believe that, he couldn’t. His face cracked into a huge smile.
“I love you too.”
Jensen looked over, at first thinking Jared had only said that because he had, but his facial expression told him something different and he smiled too.
“Dinner tonight?” he offered.
“Of course,” Jared agreed. “What time do you get off work?”
“Six. Want to come to my house around seven and I can just make us spaghetti or something?”
“You cook?”
“I do, actually.”
“Sounds good to me then. See you around seven.”
Leaning across the seat, Jared gave Jensen a kiss.
“Have a good day at work.”
“Thanks. Have a good day…um…doing homework, I’m assuming?”
“You’re so smart.”
“It was just a wild guess.”
With a smile, Jared got out of Jensen’s car and walked up to his apartment almost like he was floating. Jensen loved him!
Nothing could ruin this day, not even the nagging thoughts of Dustin.
All morning, Jensen couldn’t stop smiling, although a part of him wondered if he was being stupid and careless, taking Jared back to his house…telling him that he loved him. But another part told him he was doing what was right. He was in love, and he shouldn’t let a stupid ass hole from his past ruin what could be something great.
Around three o’ clock, Dustin came into the bar.
“Hey!” Jensen greeted when he saw him approaching. “Long time no see!”
“I know,” Dustin said, smiling as he sat down in one of the stools. “I think you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Have not! I’ve just been…busy.”
“Yeah. So how’s the boyfriend?”
“What?!”
Jensen had avoided telling him about Jared, not wanting to make him upset. At his shock, Dustin just laughed.
“You don’t think Michelle has been gushing about how cute you guys are, like, constantly?”
“Oh…look, I’m sorry-”
“No, why are you apologizing? It’s not like we were together. You’re way too good for me.”
Jensen rolled his eyes, legitimately feeling a little bad.
“Am not.”
“Don’t lie to yourself. You’re probably too good for your boyfriend too, but I haven’t met him, so who am I to judge?”
Jensen decided it was best to not say anything about that.
“Would you like something to drink? Eat?”
“No, thanks. I just came to see the super cute bartender.”
Despite himself, Jensen blushed. The attention-starved slut inside of him still loved when people told him how good-looking he was, no matter who was saying it.
“How’s work going?” Jensen asked. “Congrats on the promotion.”
“Thanks. It’s alright. Just work.”
“Well, that’s no fun. You should be doing something you love.”
“Yeah? Are you doing something you love? Besides your boyfriend?”
“Dustin! Inappropriate!” Jensen scolded the other man, who laughed.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But I see you trying to change the subject. Tell me about your man.”
“Well…his name is Jared…”
“Jared?”
“Mhm.”
“I dated a Jared once. He was super gorgeous, but crazy as hell. Like, really crazy. Violent…”
Jensen gave the other man a sympathetic look, heart breaking for him. Dustin might be strange, but no one deserved to face violence at the hands of those who were supposed to love them.
“I’m sorry, Dustin,” he said.
“No, it’s okay. I mean, I’m getting better. It’s just…Jen, I know I’m a little pushy and obnoxious sometimes. I know I make you uncomfortable. It’s just…he used to use me as his own little sex slave, and so I became convinced me that was all I was good for. It’s pretty much all I know.”
“It’s not all you’re good for,” Jensen assured the other man.
“I know that, really. It’s just hard to get out of that frame of mind, especially when the things he did won’t stop playing in my mind.”
Dustin was silent for a moment, deep in his own head, but then he let out an embarrassed little laugh and shook his head.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.”
“No, don’t apologize.”
“I’m happy for you. I really am. You deserve happiness.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
Another beat of silence passed before Dustin stood.
“Well, I’d better get going. I’m distracting you from work. Have a good day. Hopefully I’ll see you at game night soon?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there Thursday. Bye, Dustin.”
With a small, almost sad smile, the blonde turned to leave. Jensen frowned, feeling guilty that he’d ever thought badly about him. Maybe he was a little weird and mysterious, but, really, so was Jensen. They’d both gone through similar things that had left a permanent mark. Dustin wasn’t a bad guy. He was a victim.
And if Jensen’s instincts on him had been so off, how could he be sure he was right about Jared?
Author: Stef (io_amore_voi)
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Past Jensen/OMC/ Past Jared OMC
Summary: Jensen finally found the perfect guy. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, romantic...more than Jensen could possibly dream. Still, he can't shake the feeling that he met Jared somewhere before, and, for reasons he can't explain, he finds himself fearing the man. He chalks it up to his own paranoia and dark past. Besides, as they say, what you don't know won't hurt you, right? Wrong.
Rating (of this chapter): PG-13
Warnings (for all parts):Gangs, near kidnap with the use of chloroform, sexual abuse (not childhood), domestic violence
Disclaimer: I do not know or own Jensen or Jared. Everyone and everything else is made up. This story is entirely fictional and I earn nothing for it.
Past chapters
Jared couldn’t remove his eyes from the picture. Dustin, whose arms were wrapped around Jensen’s middle, was smiling up at the phone, which Jensen was holding above their heads, also while smiling. The fact that Jared's gangster ex-boyfriend- the ex-boyfriend who’d planned to kill Jensen just a year ago-was so close to the man; was touching him, even, and that Jensen was completely happy and oblivious, terrified Jared.
“I dunno,” Jared finally croaked, clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away from the picture. “He’s kinda cute and you look awfully comfortable with him in that picture.”
“I was trying to convince myself that I liked him, but…no. Like I said, he’s alright, just…weird.”
“Want me to tell him to fuck off?”
“No,” Jensen laughed. “But thank you.”
A yawn followed.
“I can’t believe I’m still tired,” he commented. “I guess I should be going.”
“You can stay here if you want,” Jared offered quickly. Jensen smiled.
“I would, but I have to let my dog out. Want to stay over at my house?”
“Sure!”
While Jensen went to use the restroom, Jared threw a couple of things into a bag, internally freaking out all the while. What was he supposed to do? He highly doubted that Dustin had gotten over his anger at Jensen that quickly, especially not to the point of wanting to be his best friend. Jensen wasn’t safe around him. Should he tell him who Dustin really was? It was going to be hard to do that without telling him what he himself had done. Jared knew that would ruin everything the two of them had, and it would kill him inside, but if it was what would be best for Jensen, he’d do it in a heartbeat. However, if Jensen turned him in, Jared would no doubt be arrested and he couldn’t protect him from Dustin from inside a jail cell. Even if he exposed him and the rest of the gang, there was a good possibility that some of them would get off. After all, they tied up their loose ends nicely. One of them would make sure Jensen got taken care of. Jared supposed he could explain all of this to the man and hope he understood, but, even so, he’d mess up his psyche even worse than it already was. Jensen would run, Dustin would figure out why and go after him again, and, that time, there would be no time for games. He’d kill him straight away.
Jared started to contemplate how he could possibly make Dustin’s death look like an accident.
“Hey.”
Jared jumped, turning towards the voice he heard coming from in front of the living room. It was just Jensen, of course.
“You ready?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”
Jensen lived in a nice little house. It was really neat and homey, with just enough bachelor pad feel to keep it from being too girly.
As soon as the front door was opened, a big Golden Retriever jumped up on the smaller man, covering him in licks.
The douche got up and ran; took the dog and everything, Dustin’s voice reverberated in Jared’s head.
“Okay, Rocky, okay. I missed you too,” Jensen laughed, ruffling the dog’s fur lovingly. “He’s nice, I promise.”
“Hey, buddy,” Jared greeted, offering his hand for the dog to sniff. After one quick sniff, he concluded that Jared was allowed in and covered him in licks as well.
“Want anything to eat?” Jensen asked, getting the canine down to lead him to the back door. Jared followed.
“No, thanks,” he replied. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to eat again.
“Okay. I’m just going to heat up some pizza real quick, then I’m going to crash. I have a king sized bed in case you want to share. If not, I’ll take the couch. Up to you.”
“I’m not making you sleep on the couch.”
“Okay, but, just so you know, you’ll also be sharing a bed with Rocky.”
“That’s fine.”
Jensen ate his pizza, and then the men went upstairs to get washed up. Though Jared’s anxiety was still sky-high, he had to admit, he liked the cheesiness of sharing a sink with Jensen while they brushed their teeth, having to fight over who got to spit first. When Jared was trying to be funny, taking his merry old time, Jensen took it upon himself to butt-bump him out of the way, causing him to get water all down the front of his shirt. Jensen snorted.
“That’ll teach you.”
“Oh, it’s on, Ackles.”
“Uh-huh, suuuuuure. Are you gonna take that shirt off now? It’s a little wet.”
Jared glared playfully, but slipped out of his t-shirt, and then his jeans for safe measure. Jensen’s eyes scanned the length of his body, admiring every chiseled muscle, before smiling and leading the way to his bedroom. At first, Jared was afraid that Jensen was going to go all tease-y again, but he didn’t. As the two laid down, Jensen snuggled close, but simply took Jared’s hand in his own before closing his eyes.
“Thank you for today,” he whispered. Jared replied by kissing his nose. Rocky jumped up on the bed a minute later and, soon after that, Jensen fell asleep. Jared was actually getting sleepy himself, but fear was keeping him awake. He never wanted to take his eyes off of Jensen again. He feared that, if he did, he’d never see him again.
Eventually, though, sleep won, and when Jared awoke, both Jensen and Rocky were already up. Jared shot up, kicking the covers off of his body quickly and beginning his search for the other man. He found him in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.
“’Morning,” Jensen greeted. “Sorry I don’t have much for breakfast, but eat whatever you’d like.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Dude…you haven’t eaten in, like…at least fourteen hours.”
“I’ll eat in a little bit.”
“Whatever you say. I have to be at work soon, so I’ll drop you off on my way, okay?”
“Fine by me.”
Jensen finished his cereal, put his bowl in the sink and turned to Jared.
“I just have to get a shower. Wanna join?”
The taller man narrowed his eyes, making the other man laugh.
“Okay, okay. Sorry.”
He didn’t take long in the shower, but Jared didn’t want to risk making him late, so told him he would just wait until he got back to his apartment before taking his.
“Thanks for letting me spend the night,” Jared said once they’d reached his place. Jensen nodded, but was looking off into space, chewing his bottom lip as if he were deep in thought.
“Have something you want to say?” Jared prodded.
“I was really drunk last night.”
“Yeah, I gathered.”
“But I did kind of know what I was doing…and saying.”
Jared just stared, not quite sure where Jensen was going with this.
“You might think I’m crazy, but…I do love you, Jared. That wasn’t the alcohol talking.”
Though Jared tried to stay serious and tell Jensen that he couldn’t love him; that it was just his swarming of emotions making him believe that, he couldn’t. His face cracked into a huge smile.
“I love you too.”
Jensen looked over, at first thinking Jared had only said that because he had, but his facial expression told him something different and he smiled too.
“Dinner tonight?” he offered.
“Of course,” Jared agreed. “What time do you get off work?”
“Six. Want to come to my house around seven and I can just make us spaghetti or something?”
“You cook?”
“I do, actually.”
“Sounds good to me then. See you around seven.”
Leaning across the seat, Jared gave Jensen a kiss.
“Have a good day at work.”
“Thanks. Have a good day…um…doing homework, I’m assuming?”
“You’re so smart.”
“It was just a wild guess.”
With a smile, Jared got out of Jensen’s car and walked up to his apartment almost like he was floating. Jensen loved him!
Nothing could ruin this day, not even the nagging thoughts of Dustin.
All morning, Jensen couldn’t stop smiling, although a part of him wondered if he was being stupid and careless, taking Jared back to his house…telling him that he loved him. But another part told him he was doing what was right. He was in love, and he shouldn’t let a stupid ass hole from his past ruin what could be something great.
Around three o’ clock, Dustin came into the bar.
“Hey!” Jensen greeted when he saw him approaching. “Long time no see!”
“I know,” Dustin said, smiling as he sat down in one of the stools. “I think you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Have not! I’ve just been…busy.”
“Yeah. So how’s the boyfriend?”
“What?!”
Jensen had avoided telling him about Jared, not wanting to make him upset. At his shock, Dustin just laughed.
“You don’t think Michelle has been gushing about how cute you guys are, like, constantly?”
“Oh…look, I’m sorry-”
“No, why are you apologizing? It’s not like we were together. You’re way too good for me.”
Jensen rolled his eyes, legitimately feeling a little bad.
“Am not.”
“Don’t lie to yourself. You’re probably too good for your boyfriend too, but I haven’t met him, so who am I to judge?”
Jensen decided it was best to not say anything about that.
“Would you like something to drink? Eat?”
“No, thanks. I just came to see the super cute bartender.”
Despite himself, Jensen blushed. The attention-starved slut inside of him still loved when people told him how good-looking he was, no matter who was saying it.
“How’s work going?” Jensen asked. “Congrats on the promotion.”
“Thanks. It’s alright. Just work.”
“Well, that’s no fun. You should be doing something you love.”
“Yeah? Are you doing something you love? Besides your boyfriend?”
“Dustin! Inappropriate!” Jensen scolded the other man, who laughed.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But I see you trying to change the subject. Tell me about your man.”
“Well…his name is Jared…”
“Jared?”
“Mhm.”
“I dated a Jared once. He was super gorgeous, but crazy as hell. Like, really crazy. Violent…”
Jensen gave the other man a sympathetic look, heart breaking for him. Dustin might be strange, but no one deserved to face violence at the hands of those who were supposed to love them.
“I’m sorry, Dustin,” he said.
“No, it’s okay. I mean, I’m getting better. It’s just…Jen, I know I’m a little pushy and obnoxious sometimes. I know I make you uncomfortable. It’s just…he used to use me as his own little sex slave, and so I became convinced me that was all I was good for. It’s pretty much all I know.”
“It’s not all you’re good for,” Jensen assured the other man.
“I know that, really. It’s just hard to get out of that frame of mind, especially when the things he did won’t stop playing in my mind.”
Dustin was silent for a moment, deep in his own head, but then he let out an embarrassed little laugh and shook his head.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.”
“No, don’t apologize.”
“I’m happy for you. I really am. You deserve happiness.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
Another beat of silence passed before Dustin stood.
“Well, I’d better get going. I’m distracting you from work. Have a good day. Hopefully I’ll see you at game night soon?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there Thursday. Bye, Dustin.”
With a small, almost sad smile, the blonde turned to leave. Jensen frowned, feeling guilty that he’d ever thought badly about him. Maybe he was a little weird and mysterious, but, really, so was Jensen. They’d both gone through similar things that had left a permanent mark. Dustin wasn’t a bad guy. He was a victim.
And if Jensen’s instincts on him had been so off, how could he be sure he was right about Jared?