Redemption (HP)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing(s): Lily/Severus (with mentions of Lily/James)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 524
Summary: Severus seeks redemption for his misdeeds through his love for Lily.
A/N: I found this when I was going through my fic folder on my computer, it's dated October 29, 2008. The following was included:
The entire time I was writing this I had a sort of out-of-body feeling, where I could see what I was typing, and that it was clichéd and looked like it came from a fifteen year old, but I couldn’t stop it, so here is the end result.
Perhaps that's why I never posted it! But I am now. haha
Maybe if he hadn’t passed James Potter in the street the week before, things would have been different.
In a hurry to get to the apothecary before it closed, Severus sprinted down Diagon Alley trying to reach the shop. Dodging wizards, witches, and even the occasional goblin, Severus thought he would make it--before he bumped into something very solid.
‘Watch it Snivellus,’ the unwelcome face of James Potter sneered.
Severus picked himself up from where he had fallen, but not before he had caught a glimpse of Potter’s wallet laying open on the ground where he had dropped it, with a picture of Lily inside. She was pregnant and glowing. She had never looked more beautiful, and it was all because of Potter.
Severus dusted himself off and continued on without a word, refusing to look back.
-
One damp, grey day when he was cold, tired, hungry, and on the brink of desperation, Severus finally relented and allowed Lucius to talk him into attending one of his Death Eater soirees. Before he went he told himself that he would be fine. He could resist temptation
Looking into the fire that night it was as thogh each ember held a memory of Lily. Flashes of her laughing at Potter’s jokes. Flashes of her dancing with him. The first time she left Severus for Potter, the first time she went with him instead of Severus to Hogsmede. Severus hanging upside down with his underpants showing for all the world to see. Potter’s cocky face laughing at him. Potter hissing, Snivellus. Lily doing nothing.
If he didn’t have a place with Lily, if he didn’t have a place at Hogwarts, where did he? The Dark Lord could make him rich, he could make him powerful. Now that love and warmth and security were gone, what was left but to pursue success? Severus was hungry for acceptance and thirsty for acknowledgement. That night he allowed the Dark Mark to be tattooed on his arm. He even revelled in the pain it caused him, since it masked the dull ache of his heart.
-
Years later when he was older, more weary, and staring into another fire, Severus saw flashes of the little girl he had first seen on the playground. Lily looking lost and homesick after first boarding the Hogwart’s Express.
He could save Lily.
Severus held all the cards. He could give the Dark Lord information--at a price. He could make him spare Lily. Once the deed was done, Severus could console her. Convince her of his part in saving her (conveniently mask his role in her late husband’s death) and claim the place beside her that was rightfully his.
-
‘You loved her,’ Dumbledore remarked quietly.
‘I-’ Severus choked, but found he could not protest. ‘No one must know,’ he said, eyes narrowing. ‘You hear, old man? You take this to your grave,’ he hissed.
Dumbledore only nodded.
‘Welcome back, Severus’
Severus swooped like a bat out of the room. It was not a return, he knew, but a resignation to death. His heart was turned to ice. There was nothing left to live for.
Pairing(s): Lily/Severus (with mentions of Lily/James)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 524
Summary: Severus seeks redemption for his misdeeds through his love for Lily.
A/N: I found this when I was going through my fic folder on my computer, it's dated October 29, 2008. The following was included:
The entire time I was writing this I had a sort of out-of-body feeling, where I could see what I was typing, and that it was clichéd and looked like it came from a fifteen year old, but I couldn’t stop it, so here is the end result.
Perhaps that's why I never posted it! But I am now. haha
Maybe if he hadn’t passed James Potter in the street the week before, things would have been different.
In a hurry to get to the apothecary before it closed, Severus sprinted down Diagon Alley trying to reach the shop. Dodging wizards, witches, and even the occasional goblin, Severus thought he would make it--before he bumped into something very solid.
‘Watch it Snivellus,’ the unwelcome face of James Potter sneered.
Severus picked himself up from where he had fallen, but not before he had caught a glimpse of Potter’s wallet laying open on the ground where he had dropped it, with a picture of Lily inside. She was pregnant and glowing. She had never looked more beautiful, and it was all because of Potter.
Severus dusted himself off and continued on without a word, refusing to look back.
-
One damp, grey day when he was cold, tired, hungry, and on the brink of desperation, Severus finally relented and allowed Lucius to talk him into attending one of his Death Eater soirees. Before he went he told himself that he would be fine. He could resist temptation
Looking into the fire that night it was as thogh each ember held a memory of Lily. Flashes of her laughing at Potter’s jokes. Flashes of her dancing with him. The first time she left Severus for Potter, the first time she went with him instead of Severus to Hogsmede. Severus hanging upside down with his underpants showing for all the world to see. Potter’s cocky face laughing at him. Potter hissing, Snivellus. Lily doing nothing.
If he didn’t have a place with Lily, if he didn’t have a place at Hogwarts, where did he? The Dark Lord could make him rich, he could make him powerful. Now that love and warmth and security were gone, what was left but to pursue success? Severus was hungry for acceptance and thirsty for acknowledgement. That night he allowed the Dark Mark to be tattooed on his arm. He even revelled in the pain it caused him, since it masked the dull ache of his heart.
-
Years later when he was older, more weary, and staring into another fire, Severus saw flashes of the little girl he had first seen on the playground. Lily looking lost and homesick after first boarding the Hogwart’s Express.
He could save Lily.
Severus held all the cards. He could give the Dark Lord information--at a price. He could make him spare Lily. Once the deed was done, Severus could console her. Convince her of his part in saving her (conveniently mask his role in her late husband’s death) and claim the place beside her that was rightfully his.
-
‘You loved her,’ Dumbledore remarked quietly.
‘I-’ Severus choked, but found he could not protest. ‘No one must know,’ he said, eyes narrowing. ‘You hear, old man? You take this to your grave,’ he hissed.
Dumbledore only nodded.
‘Welcome back, Severus’
Severus swooped like a bat out of the room. It was not a return, he knew, but a resignation to death. His heart was turned to ice. There was nothing left to live for.