Gregory House and the Men's Restroom of Three-Ways
Fandom: House, M.D.
Pairing(s): Wilson/House(/Cuddy), with mentions of Chase/Cameron
Rating: R
Word Count: 689
Notes: For penguingirl84 who won the auction over here at Live Long and Marry. This is the first fic of many that will compose her winnings. :)
‘You’re not baiting me tonight,’ Cuddy remarked to him. It was the hospital Christmas party, and they were all a little toasted. Chase and Cameron had run off somewhere--probably to go have sex in the men’s restroom, House always knew Cameron was a dirty, dirty girl--and House was sitting in a corner, drinking eggnog. Vile stuff, but it did the trick.
‘Nah,’ he had taken his time in replying to her. ‘It’s more fun to watch everyone make a fool of themselves tonight and then mock them later when they all have hangovers. Doubles the pain, it’s much more effective.’
‘Guessing by the number of drinks you’ve had, you’re going to have one hell of a hangover too,’ she giggled.
House smiled. Cuddy giggling was always a good sign. Maybe he could get her to take her bra off. He resolved to try.
‘Well I have a higher tolerance for pain,’ he said, standing up and starting to walk to emphasise his point. He saw her face crumple in sympathy. Bingo.
‘Where did Wilson get off to?’ he drawled the last few words, hoping the slight innuendo was not lost on her. It wasn’t, her cheeks reddened.
‘Last I saw him he was heading to the restroom,’ she said.
‘Ha, maybe he saw Chase and Cameron and decided to join in,’ he laughed.
‘What?’ asked Cuddy.
‘Chase and Cameron were headed in there together. I think they were going to do the nasty,’ House wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
‘Oh, you’re disgusting,’ said Cuddy, turning away from him.
‘The thought of a three-way disgusts you?’ House asked. ‘Or is it just Chase. I can see why, Aussies have never quite done it for me either.’
‘For your information, I have been involved in certain activities that might…take you by surprise,’ she said.
Good, she was drunker than he thought.
‘Is that so?’ he asked, leaning in toward her just a little bit. She didn’t flinch away. He smiled slyly. Maybe the bra was too small a step. Maybe he could get her panties too. He thought about it and felt his cock rise 45 degrees. Yes, definitely the panties. He wondered if they’d be a matching set. Red, maybe, for Christmas.
‘Well if Chase and Cameron are indeed doing what I suspect and what you claim to know so much about, why don’t we go catch them in the act. You could write them up, it’d be a win-win.’ House said enticingly.
‘I’m not going to go sneaking around looking for amorous couples like a high school principle, House,’ Cuddy said disapprovingly.
‘Eh, it’s just as well,’ House sighed. ‘I made it all up anyway,’ he lied. ‘Shall we at least go look for Wilson?’
‘Sure,’ said Cuddy. ‘But I’m not going to go inside.’
‘Prude,’ House goaded. ‘Live a little for once!’
It was enough to get Cuddy inside. ‘Fine, but I-- oh!’ she exclaimed.
House almost tripped over her, she stopped so abruptly. Slumped against the side of the bathroom wall was Wilson, fly unzipped, with one hand in his pants. In the corner Chase and Cameron seemed to be nearing the end of…exactly what House had predicted.
House grinned. He couldn’t help himself. ‘Want a hand, Wilson?’ he asked.
‘Only if Cuddy joins in too,’ said Wilson.
…
“--Stop, stop!’ Cuddy exclaims. ‘This ridiculous story is going too far.’
‘Oh I see, when it involves you it suddenly goes too far,’ House says.
‘I thought it went too far when it came to you peeping in on me and Chase. In a restroom for god’s sake! What kind of girl do you think I am?’ Cameron asks angrily.
‘A dirty one,’ whispers House.
‘Really, I thought that part was pretty cool,’ Chase grins.
‘Doesn’t anyone do any work around here?’ Foreman complains.
‘You’re just upset because you weren’t included,’ scoffed House.
‘This is ridiculous!’ Foreman says angrily.
House smiles to himself as the arguing voices explode around him. He’ll just re-tell the story to Wilson later. They can use it as foreplay. Meanwhile, they’re probably distracted enough that he can slip out and watch his favourite soap…
Pairing(s): Wilson/House(/Cuddy), with mentions of Chase/Cameron
Rating: R
Word Count: 689
Notes: For penguingirl84 who won the auction over here at Live Long and Marry. This is the first fic of many that will compose her winnings. :)
‘You’re not baiting me tonight,’ Cuddy remarked to him. It was the hospital Christmas party, and they were all a little toasted. Chase and Cameron had run off somewhere--probably to go have sex in the men’s restroom, House always knew Cameron was a dirty, dirty girl--and House was sitting in a corner, drinking eggnog. Vile stuff, but it did the trick.
‘Nah,’ he had taken his time in replying to her. ‘It’s more fun to watch everyone make a fool of themselves tonight and then mock them later when they all have hangovers. Doubles the pain, it’s much more effective.’
‘Guessing by the number of drinks you’ve had, you’re going to have one hell of a hangover too,’ she giggled.
House smiled. Cuddy giggling was always a good sign. Maybe he could get her to take her bra off. He resolved to try.
‘Well I have a higher tolerance for pain,’ he said, standing up and starting to walk to emphasise his point. He saw her face crumple in sympathy. Bingo.
‘Where did Wilson get off to?’ he drawled the last few words, hoping the slight innuendo was not lost on her. It wasn’t, her cheeks reddened.
‘Last I saw him he was heading to the restroom,’ she said.
‘Ha, maybe he saw Chase and Cameron and decided to join in,’ he laughed.
‘What?’ asked Cuddy.
‘Chase and Cameron were headed in there together. I think they were going to do the nasty,’ House wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
‘Oh, you’re disgusting,’ said Cuddy, turning away from him.
‘The thought of a three-way disgusts you?’ House asked. ‘Or is it just Chase. I can see why, Aussies have never quite done it for me either.’
‘For your information, I have been involved in certain activities that might…take you by surprise,’ she said.
Good, she was drunker than he thought.
‘Is that so?’ he asked, leaning in toward her just a little bit. She didn’t flinch away. He smiled slyly. Maybe the bra was too small a step. Maybe he could get her panties too. He thought about it and felt his cock rise 45 degrees. Yes, definitely the panties. He wondered if they’d be a matching set. Red, maybe, for Christmas.
‘Well if Chase and Cameron are indeed doing what I suspect and what you claim to know so much about, why don’t we go catch them in the act. You could write them up, it’d be a win-win.’ House said enticingly.
‘I’m not going to go sneaking around looking for amorous couples like a high school principle, House,’ Cuddy said disapprovingly.
‘Eh, it’s just as well,’ House sighed. ‘I made it all up anyway,’ he lied. ‘Shall we at least go look for Wilson?’
‘Sure,’ said Cuddy. ‘But I’m not going to go inside.’
‘Prude,’ House goaded. ‘Live a little for once!’
It was enough to get Cuddy inside. ‘Fine, but I-- oh!’ she exclaimed.
House almost tripped over her, she stopped so abruptly. Slumped against the side of the bathroom wall was Wilson, fly unzipped, with one hand in his pants. In the corner Chase and Cameron seemed to be nearing the end of…exactly what House had predicted.
House grinned. He couldn’t help himself. ‘Want a hand, Wilson?’ he asked.
‘Only if Cuddy joins in too,’ said Wilson.
…
“--Stop, stop!’ Cuddy exclaims. ‘This ridiculous story is going too far.’
‘Oh I see, when it involves you it suddenly goes too far,’ House says.
‘I thought it went too far when it came to you peeping in on me and Chase. In a restroom for god’s sake! What kind of girl do you think I am?’ Cameron asks angrily.
‘A dirty one,’ whispers House.
‘Really, I thought that part was pretty cool,’ Chase grins.
‘Doesn’t anyone do any work around here?’ Foreman complains.
‘You’re just upset because you weren’t included,’ scoffed House.
‘This is ridiculous!’ Foreman says angrily.
House smiles to himself as the arguing voices explode around him. He’ll just re-tell the story to Wilson later. They can use it as foreplay. Meanwhile, they’re probably distracted enough that he can slip out and watch his favourite soap…