Tittle: Look around a little.
Chapters: 1/?
Author:
Rating: PG or lower.
Genre: romance,drama,comedy.
Warnings: errors,language,more coming.
Pairings: Tora x Saga / Saga x Tora ~ Shou x Hiroto and more coming.
Synopsis: I am a men but I did cry.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them just the story.
A~Comments: A opinion please? And if I should continue ..
Saga POV~
I could hate me because of my feelings.I actually could stay and cry alone in the center of the world.I tried to change them and I failed.I'm a men and sometimes I can't reach what I want.Oh , yeah.It took me 2 years to realize,accept and get used to what I am and what I'm not , to what I'll have and what I won't.I thought at first that it must be because friendship,alcohol mood or some moods related.I hated that I was wrong cause I knew that if I am right I might end up with nothing let but myself and my dirty life.A year ago I started to ignore my friends,my band-mates , my family .. I needed time and I was afraid.Can I repeat something ? I'm a men but I did cry.I cried cause I was confused and I didn't know why my heart beats for the wrong person , in a wrong way , in a special direction.Well , however , my band-mates got me involved in a serious conversation.They asked those question that anyone would and which hurt me alot.I tried to make excuses and I lied them and myself.What was hurting the most was that I lied that special someone too cause he was there and watching me with his black and deep eyes.Maybe I was wrong lying but I couldn't confess my feelings and fail miserable.Immobilized by my fear I only lied and looked away just like a dirty little liar.In the past I was always the one you could tell that has no feelings left , no tears for anyone , no nothing but work love but hey every heart has its story.Anyway this is how me and Tora got closely.
12:27 ~ My phone starts to rings while I was watching my window drowned in rain drops.I was just composing something for my secret lover again,again lost in thoughts.However I look at the phone and immediately knew that it was Pon who was calling me so I answered with a low voice ~
'Moshi moshi!' I said with my rasky voice.
'Hey ,Saga! How are you ?' Pon asked me with a cute voice like always.He was happy.He was in love and Shou answered at his love positive.
'I'm okay.Just watching the rain around here.Home.And you ?' I talked slowly so he couldn't feel the sad mood in my voice.
'Oh , I'm ok.Just wondering if you'd like to meet me and Shou later at his place ? ' He asked calm but happy again.
'I .. I don't know if I can..' I answered knowing how much it would hurt to see how happy they are and how I am so numb.I was happy for them because they are my best friends but I couldn't help not being envious.
'Oh pretty pleaseeeeeeee ,Saga-chi!!!! Please Please ...' And Pon kept saying 'please' for 27 times I guess. Thing that made me curious cause he always did this when he was begging me to forgive that he broke something that's mine , that he fought with Shou and he wants help or when he just wants to see me.
'Why? Do you need help? ' I asked calm too.
'Not only this , Saga-chi.We had those 4 days off cause Shou has a flu and we didn't see you once in all this time.Me and Shou miss you alot.' He said happy and a bit sad.I believed him because he was the one in the band that always love the others so much.And he always was making peace when we were fighting.
'Seriously ? I may come then.' I said with my voice just a bit happier.
'Yessssssss ^o^ !!! Saga-chan is coming Shou! ' Pon yelled happily.
In the background ~
'Finally I'm not let alone anymore with a idiot like you.You broke my hand >.<" ' Shou said angrly.
'Oh , yeah.His upset.. on me ... I'm a idiot ' Pon said with a change of mood.
'Ok , Hiroto.Don't be upset.I'll help you.I wonder why Shou is so annoyed but anyway.At what hour should I be there ? '
'You can come around 6.We will have fun though Shou hates me ToT '
'Haha.Don't worry.He doesn't.Ok then ... see ya there ... Ja ne.'
'Okayyy :D Ja ne '
_________________________
I stare a minute more at the window and it hurts every drop.Well , anyway , back to my note ... this is what I wrote ...
'If I were him or her, would you love me ? I have so much to tell you but in the end I always watch your back while your walking away.I search my world but I can't find you.I wish you were a part from my life.You are already but I wish you were the favorite part of it cause when I think about you it's always seem blurry and you seem so faraway.. You stare at me like I'm a stranger when I'm around.I sometimes wonder what's in your mind .. Who do you love ?'
I'm made my tea and took a painkiller for my headache which from some day it doesn't stop hurting.I don't even remember how many they were.I check the time.It's already 4:26.How come ? In usually days the time passes so hard.It's only quick when I'm around you.It's never enough.Today seems strange.I want to sleep a hour.I lay on the bed and the bed seems like always.Too rough and too cold.I wonder when it'll be warm.However life must go on with or without love.So after 19 minutes I fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~
ring .... ring .... ring ....
Huh ? what ? Oh yeah ... my phone is ringing.
'Moshi moshi ?' I answer yawning.
'Hey , Saga.You will come , right ?' It was Pon's hyper voice.
'Yah , sure.What's the hour ?' I asked sleepy..
' 5:39 ^o^. Hope you will be here soon. See ya .. bye-bye :D '
Pon hangs up before I could react.I'm probably going to be late but I'll try to make it quick.I get a shower and then dry my hair.I looked like a fluffy kitty and I must admit that I was looking good today.No reason though ...
I made myself cute and I tried some smiles in the mirror so I wouldn't disappoint Pon and Shou.However I was ready to leave so I left to Shou house.After 25 minutes I was in the front of his apartment door.
*knock knock*
It was no answer.
I knocked again.
'Enter!!!! ^^ ' Pon yelled .
I entered and it was so fucking dark.
'WTF ?' I walked into the living room when the lights got on and a huge yell ...
' WELCOME SAGA CHANNNNNNNNN !!!!! '
I would've been happy if it was only Pon's hyper happy voice but those time I think there were around 2 voices that surrounded me.I looked around confused while they were smiling at me.Some where sitting down and some up.It was the staff , some of our friends and our band.I looked at everyone which were waiting for an answer by me but I looked again around and I find myself shocked when I saw Tora next to one of our girl friends and talking and showing some things.I was really broken-hearted but I just smiled at everyone.One of the smiles I made in the mirror though it was half true.
'Arigato gozaimasu !!!'
I huged some of the people and then some where dancing , some drinking , talking and other things.Pon took me by the hand.
'You smiledddddd!!! ' Pon hugged me tight ....