It's just a constant pattern for me. I never seem to learn.
I mean, one would think after the first time, I would maybe manage to control my feelings so that I don't end up feeling hopelessly attracted to someone who, yet again, I can't have?
It's ridiculous because it's just like with Cara. There is basically no difference there except that they are, of course, totally different people. But I'm just . . . yearning for him. He's a timezone away--god knows how many kilometres--and I just want to touch him and cuddle with him and fuck him and be with him, goddammit.
But instead I'm just going to sit here with a bowl of ice cream as I read Homestuck (for some reason) and reflect upon the fact that at this rate I will probably be sexually and emotionally frustrated until the end of time because I only ever go for the people who aren't available to me. It just sucks, you know? I mean, holy crap am I feeling the emotions right now, and I really am not a fan of them. They make me feel the same way I felt when I was fifteen. I am so done with being fifteen.
Actually, fuck Homestuck. I need Kiki's Delivery Service, stat.
(And yeah, I know it's unreasonable to expect my emotions to actually be rational. But I'm not currently feeling rational enough to properly accept even that, so . . .)
It's ridiculous because it's just like with Cara. There is basically no difference there except that they are, of course, totally different people. But I'm just . . . yearning for him. He's a timezone away--god knows how many kilometres--and I just want to touch him and cuddle with him and fuck him and be with him, goddammit.
But instead I'm just going to sit here with a bowl of ice cream as I read Homestuck (for some reason) and reflect upon the fact that at this rate I will probably be sexually and emotionally frustrated until the end of time because I only ever go for the people who aren't available to me. It just sucks, you know? I mean, holy crap am I feeling the emotions right now, and I really am not a fan of them. They make me feel the same way I felt when I was fifteen. I am so done with being fifteen.
Actually, fuck Homestuck. I need Kiki's Delivery Service, stat.
(And yeah, I know it's unreasonable to expect my emotions to actually be rational. But I'm not currently feeling rational enough to properly accept even that, so . . .)