Re: a comment: julia style!irishcolleenFebruary 14 2006, 01:57:11 UTC
thanks so much julia, definitely words of wisdom. and i'm so glad that you've recognized it too!
we'll have to chat about it more, but yes, the people that we mutually know are very selfish people (even if they are cool and creative and really fun) and you have to be able to have boundaries with them because otherwise, you will get your feelings hurt at one point or another. sad, but true.
i'm working through my situation with him (alone, because he's still not talking to me), but man, is it painful. and myspace is the DEVIL. i really can't look at it anymore, because it just makes me sad and sick to my stomach.
i'll try and IM you the next time i see you on. :)
Re: a comment: julia style!joojoobeFebruary 14 2006, 19:28:26 UTC
I deleted the comment because it might have been a little too personal - but I'm sure you still got it via e-mail.
I avoid myspace like the plague.
This guy we're talking about (assuming we're on the same page) has been around here a lot lately. And I feel there's something different. And not in a positive way. Just thought I'd keep you posted. But we can talk more about it online, later.
You're a great person, don't underestimate by the company you choose. Or something like that.
Re: a comment: julia style!irishcolleenFebruary 14 2006, 22:18:00 UTC
ha...i just re-read my comment and realized that i was talking about 2 different people, but never informed you of the switch...so, the being alone and myspace bit was in reference to my ex here in LA, just FYI...
but yes, we'll have to have a discussion about certain mutual friends folk...
just curious...if this is how you handled that relationship, then what was going through your head? i don't mean that accusatorily, i'm actually asking...i have NO idea what my ex was/is thinking when he does this; it makes no sense to me. what's the thought pattern behind this type of behavior?
The parallels are that we both don't know what we want and that we both want things on our terms. And with Lorien it was (uh, is, since we've been dating slash friends with benefits for about a year now) because I was so conflicted about what I felt. Like I wasn't sure if she was the one for me or not. I wasn't sure what my gut said because I wasn't sure I knew how to listen to it. And I was scared to lose her, so I selfishly kept getting back together with her hoping that I could try to sort out my feelings, but that hasn't happened.
At this point, after nearly four years, I realize that I'm not in love with her, and I don't think I ever will be again. She's not the same person I am pretty sure I was once in love with.
i mean, i can't speak to how he feels about everything that we've gone through, but the bit about you being so conflicted about what you feel and about not being sure how to listen to your gut, etc. sounds oh-so-familar. i'm fairly sure that's what's been happening with him. he doesn't know whether or not i'm the one for him, but he doesn't want to lose me and keeps "trying to make it work" in the hopes that he'll figure it out, but he hasn't.
this situation just sucks all the way 'round, you know?
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As for the "boy"... meh. He's not worth it. Keep your eyes on the horizon, baby!
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(The comment has been removed)
we'll have to chat about it more, but yes, the people that we mutually know are very selfish people (even if they are cool and creative and really fun) and you have to be able to have boundaries with them because otherwise, you will get your feelings hurt at one point or another. sad, but true.
i'm working through my situation with him (alone, because he's still not talking to me), but man, is it painful. and myspace is the DEVIL. i really can't look at it anymore, because it just makes me sad and sick to my stomach.
i'll try and IM you the next time i see you on. :)
Reply
I avoid myspace like the plague.
This guy we're talking about (assuming we're on the same page) has been around here a lot lately. And I feel there's something different. And not in a positive way. Just thought I'd keep you posted. But we can talk more about it online, later.
You're a great person, don't underestimate by the company you choose. Or something like that.
Reply
but yes, we'll have to have a discussion about certain mutual friends folk...
Reply
Reply
just curious...if this is how you handled that relationship, then what was going through your head? i don't mean that accusatorily, i'm actually asking...i have NO idea what my ex was/is thinking when he does this; it makes no sense to me. what's the thought pattern behind this type of behavior?
Reply
At this point, after nearly four years, I realize that I'm not in love with her, and I don't think I ever will be again. She's not the same person I am pretty sure I was once in love with.
Reply
i mean, i can't speak to how he feels about everything that we've gone through, but the bit about you being so conflicted about what you feel and about not being sure how to listen to your gut, etc. sounds oh-so-familar.
i'm fairly sure that's what's been happening with him. he doesn't know whether or not i'm the one for him, but he doesn't want to lose me and keeps "trying to make it work" in the hopes that he'll figure it out, but he hasn't.
this situation just sucks all the way 'round, you know?
Reply
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